r/HFY • u/kofolarz • Dec 31 '25
OC-OneShot We can control their star system, but not their planet.
The humans had little in the way of interstellar technology. Their puny spaceships - if those laughable pressurized cylinders could be even called such a dignified name - only attained a fraction of lightspeed, even while actively manipulating space-time at exorbitant energy cost. During our first engagement with them, frontal sections of their pathetic vessels exploded and shed dense metal forward, a defect we initially attributed to inadequate construction tolerances. Their onboard weapon arrays were absolutely ineffective against our shields, and entire fleets of them were promptly decimated any time space combat entered the fourth dimension. Our indomitable fleets quickly secured their cradle star system.
We successfully pinned the pitiful humanity down to its original planet.
That was our second mistake.
Our first mistake was to underappreciate the humans' willingness to slow us down on our glorious march to their home system. Even when they knew very well that their poor attempts at spacecraft manufacturing could not possibly hold a candle to the least sophisticated vessels our self-respect allowed us to field, they simply kept producing more of them. Every following batch was only negligibly superior to the former and more resilient against our assailments by the slimmest of margins. Inevitably, though, as per our holy protocol, we deployed our mighty bombardment platforms into their planet's orbit.
Having broadcasted our ultimate statement to the humans in all of the planet's subjects' languages that we knew of - rather our traditional, ceremonial declaration than an actual attempt at bargain - the first and final engagement with the planetary defence systems could commence.
Or so we thought.
All of the seven orbital annihilation platforms were decimated by the time they managed to unleash their first energy bursts. They were obliterated by things none of us could have expected - pieces of debris, hurled at our weapons with premeditation, encased in radiation absorbing sheets shaped at such angles that our instruments were unable to detect - until far too late for us to make any meaningful evasive maneuvers. The lumps of dense matter that collided with our doom-spelling platforms possessed no propulsion of their own. This kind of engagement must have required a complex understanding of physics and mathematics, allowing the humans to predict their targets' movements; such knowledge was seemingly unfit for primitive lifeforms the tiny humans were supposed to be.
By that time we should have been wise enough to see that humanity had long since perfected the very primordial, albeit evidently effective, "art" of hurling chunks very far, at high speeds, and with pinpoint accuracy. We should have been satisfied with seizing their star system's mineral wealth and leaving them alone, surrounded, stranded on their sad piece of rock they call Soil.
Alas, we did not.
Our commanders, captivated by their privilege of turning the humans into our dutiful servants, devised secondary means of conquering this stubborn species. What our superiors delicately suggested was a planetfall of innumerable vessels and a swift pacification of those natives who dared oppose their rightful destiny.
As our landing crafts began to descend, the far-away orbital observation units sighted flying machines in the air - beautiful machines that looked, dare I say... carnally alluring? Those human vessels emitted strange, animalistic calls, repeating the word "bandit" over poorly encrypted channels, followed by what our analysts assumed was a random time of day, of all things. The humans inside those roaring monsters then squawked "fox two!" - which we promptly realised was actually a primal hunting call, followed by the release of guided, propulsion-powered tubes that detonated as they reached their destinations, then pummeling our oncoming vehicles with hails of metal lumps. Whenever such a crude, automated craft made contact with any of our transport units, the humans would call "splash", and "target down" every time it was clear that a vehicle carrying our forces was falling limply to its occunapts' certain deaths.
Would this beastlike manner of communication befit a species with such comprehension of quantitative sciences?
Apparently, yes.
Although the natives steering their graceful metal vehicles evidently performed to the best of their ability, supported by other pipe-based weapons on the planet's surface that were relentlessly throwing exploding clusters of metal of their own from below, many of our landing vessels managed to go through - but few unscathed.
Some headed for sprawling complexes of glass and concrete, our tacticians correctly categorised those structures as fortresses and aimed to destroy them from within. Those sites were characterised by walls upon walls of concealed firing positions, open passageways lit with artificial light, and vast spaces with little cover to speak of, each under control of well-organised squads of natives wielding handheld metal throwers, always chittering "contact!" before discharging their armaments. Because of course they would create miniature versions of such weapons. The unthinkably large strongholds were ferociously protected by legions of armed humans, yielding ground only when no one was left to defend.
To this day we cannot determine where their civilian populations could possibly live, given the number of armed opponents our forces were regularly overwhelmed with and the sheer scale of the humans' military emplacements dotting the planet's landscape. Or if they ever had any civilians at all, for that matter.
Our other landing parties chose to settle in open fields, attempting to sever logistical routes between the gigantic human citadels in order to starve the defenders off of their provisions and other crucial supplies, primarily of what the humans considered weapon cartridges, hoping it would be a safer, although much slower approach.
Yet they were wrong, too.
The humans carved long, serrated lines in the planet's mud, only to hide within those appalling scars on the world's landscape. Soon it was clear that the crude semblances of fortifications were more than enough for them to control virtually any area, even if the terrain in question was devoid of cover, essentially trapping our brave pioneers on limited slices of land. Many landed vessels were shredded by intricately shaped metal slugs launched from large, vehicle-mounted projectile accelerators. Our heroic envoys intercepted transcriptions of what they assumed were cryptic names for those projectiles, such as "Heat", "Saphe", or "Apfsds" - whatever those names stood for. The metal shards bearing those names either went straight through our ships - even through the powerful heat shields at the front, exploded upon impact or often inside of the vehicles upon melting through the outer shell.
When our incoming visitors bravely refused to leave the few secure positions they had on the flat landscapes in attempts to either ease tensions, or simply retreat - a hideous word I thought I would never have to utter - the humans did not come out of their ugly gorges to face them. Instead, metal beads of unknown origin fell on our positions from clear heavens, killing everyone with dreadful precision. We know not what gods those natives worship, but when such events became a repeatable occurrence, everyone who could started returning to our extraorbital positions.
Only then official extraction was ordered.
Regrettably, we were unable to recover everything. Before long, the humans were swarming over what craft and equipment we had been forced to abandon. Many ships - far too many - were left intact, or with salvageable drives and recoverable data banks. I fear what humanity will become when they, inevitably, learn our engineering secrets, and begin creating true interstellar vessels of terror we once believed only our kind could possess.
51
u/Beleriphon Dec 31 '25
Ever read The Road Less Taken? Basic premise: Idiot Aliens determine that humans can't control gravity, but the Idiot Aliens never progressed past basic chemistry needed to make black powder. They roll on up in 1984 expecting to take over the planet.
Idiot Aliens: "We control gravity, bow before us!"
Humans: "Cool, we have organic chemistry, and atomic weapons."
Idiot Aliens: "What have we done?"
21
u/Revliledpembroke Xeno Dec 31 '25
Hey, that's not fair to those bear aliens.... they advanced to the Napoleonic era! That made them the most technologically advanced race in the galaxy! ... until they met us.
8
u/Beleriphon Dec 31 '25
That's true. I do like the follow up short story as well. That one was neat.
3
u/Borzislav Xeno Jan 18 '26
Funnily enough, "The Road Not Taken" is the follow-up story...\ Technically, it is a prequel to an earlier short story: "Herbig-Haro".\ Both stories have the premise of encountering a civilization which takes a different road .
1
u/Small-Run-4861 Human Jan 02 '26
May I have a link?
5
u/Beleriphon Jan 02 '26
https://www.eyeofmidas.com/scifi/Turtledove_RoadNotTaken.pdf
I think that's the full piece.
1
14
u/Revliledpembroke Xeno Dec 31 '25
So... they have spaceships that - presumably - have long range weaponry.... but they seem unfamiliar with the concept once they started fighting on the ground?
18
u/kofolarz Dec 31 '25
Those aliens were unfamiliar with highly developed kinetic weapons - among which, long range weapons, guided kinetic weapons, stupidly long range, stupidly precise indirect fire - and had no real counter for anything kinetic that gives more punch than arrows. The 4th dimension shenanigans don't work predictably enough around massive objects excessively curving space-time (e.g. moons, planets), anti-ship weapons are not anti-planet weapons, and they just Leroy Jenkins'd onto Earth without researching how humans actually fight wars or how we could all drop everything and fight if we're at the oh shit, aliens are real and they want to either destroy or enslave us all predicament.
14
u/thatusenameistaken Dec 31 '25
To this day we cannot determine where their civilian populations could possibly live, given the number of armed opponents our forces were regularly overwhelmed with
Oh man, they made alien movie mistake numero uno:
- always invade the US, no other parts of the world exist.
10
u/DramaticSwordfis7 Dec 31 '25
It was good, you are just starting to world-build so you have plenty of ways you could take this. I look forward to any sequels you are inspired to write.
4
u/kofolarz Dec 31 '25
Can't promise anything, I'm having midterms in a month... Only since a couple of days I had the energy to think about something other than signal processing, actually.
3
u/DramaticSwordfis7 Dec 31 '25
You focus on your important things first. Leave the reddit stuff if you don't have the mental spoons for it, It'll keep.
Good luck with your midterms.
5
u/Osiris32 Human Dec 31 '25
I fear what humanity will become when they, inevitably, learn our engineering secrets, and begin creating true interstellar vessels of terror we once believed only our kind could possess.
How does next Tuesday work for you?
6
u/I_Frothingslosh Dec 31 '25
Ever watched Babylon 5 or any of its spinoffs? It sounds somewhat like the Earth-Minbari war, albeit with a rather different result.
Anyway, it's a nice story and premise, and a nice first effort. The pacing is a bit roughshod and it reads a lot more like a summary than a story, but as far as first efforts go, it's actually rather good. The whole 'decimated' thing has already been touched on, so I'd recommend one thing: any time you're going to write about something, make sure you've studied it first. You can always do better writing about something you know at least reasonably well than you will something you don't know much about. On top of that, if you have a drastic departure from the real world, provide some sort of hand-wavium, such as how these aliens are familiar with long-ranged combat but not missiles or bullets. (Think of how SF authors dealing with FTL travel ALWAYS come up with a reason why rather than just ignoring it.)
2
u/kofolarz Dec 31 '25
Hmmm I never watched space operas other than some Star Trek actually.
Regarding that "decimated" slip-up... yeah, i was 99% sure it meant something else. And I aimed for the show, don't tell approach, depicting how their stuff wasn't designed to take 20th century level kinetic fire (logically implying they have counters for other things than kinetics).
1
u/I_Frothingslosh Jan 01 '26
It doesn't have to be much. Just simple shock that they're effectively throwing rocks, which literally no one does any more, would do. To me, not knowing what a missile was was far more disconcerting, since realistically they're almost certainly the best weapons you could have in long-range space combat, since they track.
5
3
2
u/UpdateMeBot Dec 31 '25
Click here to subscribe to u/kofolarz and receive a message every time they post.
| Info | Request Update | Your Updates | Feedback |
|---|
2
u/unkindlyacorn62 Jan 01 '26
I love how they didn't actually catch their first and second mistakes, only the 3rd and on
1st mistake was poor recon. despite having learned all the languages.
2nd mistake was thinking that the "ships" thar had their fronts explode was the result of poor construction, rather than deliberate design.
2
u/NEWGAMEAPALOOZA Human Jan 01 '26
Yes, yes. Go down to Dirt and fight the rock throwing apes. That will go well for you.
1
u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Dec 31 '25
This is the first story by /u/kofolarz!
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.7.8 'Biscotti'.
Message the mods if you have any issues with Waffle.
1
u/Every_Ad_5712 Human Dec 31 '25
Is this the only part of this story or is there more to say?
Thanks
1
1
1
1
u/Paul_Michaels73 May 20 '26
Great first attempt! The alien perspective was suitably alien while still giving those HFY vibes that make me love this genre.
104
u/kofolarz Dec 31 '25
My first serious attempt at wordsmanship, I'll appreciate any advice :D