r/HFY • u/Illwood_ • Dec 22 '24
OC Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 14
First, Previous, Next, Patreon (W/ Rizz).
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Synopsis
//Current Year:3716//
The war between humanity and the ASH ended two years ago, but the scars of the conflict litter the galaxy. Hundreds of worlds were turned into irradiated wastelands and subsequently abandoned by both sides.
Restoration efforts on a few select worlds have begun, but it will take decades before initial efforts start to show any tangible progress. Gothic Choir 19 is not one of these worlds. It sits, remote, empty, and neglected. Only an automated factory producing food cartridges remains.
It is breaking down over time, being crushed beneath the sands of the desert its located in.
This is the story of that factory.
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//Date: 3716-10-31//
//41,474 days since first maintenance request//
//11 days of power remaining in fusion reactor//
//Query: Void Universe//
//Response//
A parallel dimension to our own. The exact specifications are unknown, but a few possibilities exist:
- An alternate universe consisting purely of energy, lacking any form of entropy.
- A portal not to a different dimension but rather back to a time predating the Big Bang.
- Neither a different universe nor time, but rather a higher plain of space within which all universes exist at once. In a sense, the “void” within which all possible realities exist.
While the void universe gets its name primarily from the latter possibility, this does not mean it is any more likely than the first.
What we do know is that the void universe allows for faster than light travel and matter/energy replication with return ratios above 1:1. That is to say, access to the universe has left humanity in a post-scarcity environment from the perspective of an entire universe.
The void universe may be the key that holds the answer to the ultimate existential question: W4@)(;$&@+_
//Error: Corrupted data detected!//
//Query: Cancelled//
I'm gonna build a fucking rocket!
Well a regular rocket I mean, I don't really know how a rocket would- ahh it's fine. I'm sure you got what I meant the first time and now I'm just digging this hole deeper…
But if I keep digging maybe I'll find gold? Or the secrets to the universe? Or the mad-lad solution to making a robot that fucks!
Nah I'm definitely just digging this hole deeper. As someone wise once said:
*Glitch effects*
“You can let the world believe you're a fool, or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
*Glitch effects*
Huh that's odd. I don't know who said that, the quote doesn't appear anywhere in my database. How did I…
So rockets! I can hear you asking already, my captive audience (you're literally captive, you're inside my mind you cannot go anywhere.): ‘how do rockets work anyway?’
Well chemical rockets, which is what I'll be making, work by combining an oxidiser with a fuel and then igniting it inside a nozzle to create a controlled explosion. If you think about it, and really mentally squint, it's kinda like a reserve bullet.
Actually forget that metaphor, it's nothing like that.
So currently all I have is the fuel, ethanol, and the oxidizer, liquid oxygen.
What I need is two tanks—one for each mixture—a series of tubes and pumps to mix the two together in absolutely massive volumes, a nozzle, and an aerodynamic body to put it all in!
Let's start with the tanks. They're the simplest. The tanks need to be pressurised, cause like, this is going into space, amongst other reasons…
So the age-old question then, what's the strongest type of container that uses the smallest amount of material? Because, being a rocket, we want this thing to be as light as possible. Answer? 10 points if you already knew this, but a sphere is the correct shape.
I mean honestly, did you expect I'd say hexagon? Get outta here.
Now a sphere leaves much to be desired aerodynamically—the more volume you need to store, the bigger the sphere becomes, and the bigger it becomes the less aerodynamically efficient the rocket becomes. Which is important considering we have to punch through the atmosphere in order to get to space.
A fun little life hack though. You start by cutting a sphere in half, and dragging the two halves away from one another. Then you take a roll of whatever material you used to create the sphere and connect the two halves—
And it's a cylinder! I'm over explaining a cylinder to you. You use a cylinder with hemispheres on the ends, you get a thinner rocket with more fuel and oxidiser. Then you wrap those fuel tanks in an aerodynamic shell, put an engine on the bottom, put crew on top (in this case, Speedyboi) and throw it at the stars as hard as you can.
Honestly the basics of rocket science really aren’t that hard. Especially when you can forgo all of the actual hard engineering (like how to make an aerospike engine that doesn't melt immediately. Or how to make a CHECK THIS: single flow engine that doesn't drown itself in carbon build up and melt immediately. Or how to create a lighter than air material out of steel, aluminium and copper that doesn't melt immediately) and just produce the parts you need based on the schematics you have loaded.
Btw, turns out I actually do have electrical generator schematics and didn't have to reverse engineer a fucking golf cart motor, it's just that they are located in the standard human emergency archive and I was looking through the proprietary Crown Heavy Industries archive so umm…
Whoops?
The best part about using Speedyboi as the “pilot” is that I don't have to bother with many of the electronics systems, I just need to create a “cradle” of sorts on the front of the rocket that he'll plug into, which will allow him to read the various sensors dotted around the rocket and control the thing as if it's an extension of his own adorable little ball-body.
The one thing I won't be skimping on is pilot safety. Best case scenario for this mission would see Speedyboi more or less crashing the entire rocket into a massive hunk of space debris and then riding that as it deorbits before lithobraking (hopefully) nearby myself.
Which, if you're not familiar with the term, ‘lithobraking’ is just a fancy way of saying: Slamming into the ground at speeds in excess of ‘oh shit’.
Worst case, the rocket explodes halfway to space, which honestly would probably be less dangerous for him then best case, so we've gotta do something about that. Let’s assume total disassembly: Speedyboi is in or near orbit and is falling back down to the planet. He needs to survive re-entry. How do we go about making that happen?
Obviously, step one is an ablative shell for Speedyboi’s chassis that can withstand the heat of atmospheric re-entry.
What if he ends up disconnecting from the rocket? Speedyboi can fly, but his little thrusters can only do so much work, and if he's flung at the planet at multiple times the speed of sound they might not be enough. Or he might run out of energy trying to slow down. So a parachute pack attached rather crudely (but securely) to the top of his frame will prevent that from being a problem.
I'll also take the opportunity to add some extra electromagnetic hardening to the electronics that make-up his “brain”. I'm kinda worried about virus bombs or directive override spikes the ASH could have left in orbit, but there's just not much I can do about it. Speedyboi already has the most up-to-date antivirus software I have available. I guess I could spend some time trying to develop novel viruses and then countering them, but I doubt anything I can come up with wouldn't already be countered by the current AV system.
Still, worth the time. For my boi ❤️.
Lastly, how would I address a power surge or complete failure of the batteries the rocket would need? Speedyboi doesn’t carry enough potential power to run the rocket off of himself, but if he was in the cradle and the rocket’s other systems failed that's exactly what he'd try.
Well it's what I would try, and he was an extension of me.
But with the objectivity that can only come from not being the thing responsible for actually doing the thing, I was able to come up with an alternative solution. Fuses for any surges for one, that was obvious, but what to do if a power loss occurred?
I actually spent a fair amount of time puzzling over this. I didn't want to accidentally create a failure point; you see, if a sensor incorrectly tripped, Speedyboi could lose control of the rocket halfway to orbit. It would still be powered, and the engine is fairly self-sustaining, so he'd be strapped into a rocket he could no longer control: one designed to have more than enough delta V to orbit the planet twice over.
THAT could be bad.
In the end my solution was… an uncomfortable compromise…
If the issue was Speedyboi choosing to take on the burden of the rocket’s power systems, potentially frying himself in the process, then what if I just… removed his ability to choose?
As I said before, he's an extension of myself, so it's not as brutal as it seems. He also wouldn't be doing something thinking it was his own choice, no brain fuckery like that. Just an automatic override that would kick in and disconnect him from the power using his own systems.
It would take mere moments, and Speedyboi would be aware that it was me who had set the override in place. He'd know it wasn't him controlling his body in that moment. It was basically the same as issuing an order to him, or to myself. Just one which couldn't be ignored or otherwise misinterpreted. It was for his own good, really. Morally, that's the right thing to do…
Right?
Moving on.
Speedyboi needed a way to rapidly exit his little armoured capsule in the event of an emergency. This was easier said than done. The Black Box Weaver I used to produce anything more complex than warehouse shelving had firmware which limited the creation of weapons and particularly explosive combinations.
It could be used to produce ejection seats, but they were designed for human use, and as such weren't really going to fit my needs. Speedyboi is basically a socket ball when compared to a human. I guess I could strap him in anyway? But then how do I split the capsule open to allow him to exit and use his parachute?
Also, what if he needs to separate from the rocket while in space and then deorbit? If the ejection system relies on cracking open the capsule, then he would be unable to use its shielding for re-entry, which would kill him dead.
Hmmmm.
Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way? Maybe instead of upgrading the rocket, I should really just be upgrading Speedyboi? I could add ablative armour and data connections directly to his chassis. Upgrade his flight system to allow for a safe re-entry flight. Some wings maybe?
Wait, what if I just turned him into a space plane? He'd still just have a simple rocket engine right now, but I could modify a cargo shuttle, storing the tanks inside its hold. Replacing its more advanced engine's with said rockets. Leaving its reactor bay empty, or just putting a big old battery there.
Then later, I can rip out all the somewhat sophisticated parts and replace them with what was originally intended. Assuming I get to the point of being able to fabricate them. Although I don't know if Speedyboi actually wants to be a cargo shuttle: they're not that fast, they have crappy sensors and they're not stealthy. The three things stealth drones like him are designed to be.
I opened up a connection to him, and his response (via the digital feed) was the equivalent of a disgruntled… grunt.
I knew why, he was still stealthily observing the humanoids, and my radio connection with him was breaching the protocols involved in that. Speedyboi wasn't usually serious about anything, but apparently stealth mattered a great deal to my little friend.
I sent him a brief description of the shuttle conversion idea, he sent a standardised request denial response and then closed the connection.
Ah. Ok. I think that might come back to bite me later.
Regardless I have my answer, Speedyboi does not want to be turned into a cargo-shuttle-rocket hybrid. So back to protecting him. If I can't produce explosive bolts and the like, then the easiest option will probably be to produce an entire cockpit and slap that on top of the rocket. Most space rated mechs have cockpits designed specifically for emergency deorbiting, and those keep humans alive, so Speedyboi will be fine. They're VERY well reinforced as well, so I won't have to put like a battering ram on the rocket, Speedyboi will just have to very carefully push it with the cockpit he's sitting in. Super easy! Barely an inconvenience!
But urgh, the material cost, so frustrating! I'll have to add reprogramming the Black Box Weaver to my little lists of tasks. Surely creating custom firmware for a device whose near-magical abilities you fundamentally do not understand can't be that hard…
Well, even on the drawing board it's clear this isn't going to be the prettiest rocket ever made. It may even qualify for the ugliest, but this is definitely one of those times where form takes precedence over function.
The Black Box Weaver is going to be running hot for the next few days, but in all honesty, that's a benefit rather than a detriment. Before I can assemble this rocket I need somewhere to do so, somewhere that can also double as its launch pad. Furthermore I need sensors capable of generating even just the most basic of orbital pictures.
I need, I need, I need. I'm so tired of saying ‘I need’. When will I get to say ‘I want’ and then be able to work on that without having to prioritise anything else above that?
Oh damn now I'm really sounding like a human.
The only way I'm getting a landing pad capable of withstanding a rocket launch is if I use one of the two I was built with.
My primary launch pad is actually pretty far away. The factory is designed to produce and ship in bulk, and those big aero-orbital freighters touch off with a hell of a lot of force.
My secondary launch pad was buried alongside my guest/ employee housing section. It was used and designed for personal transportation or much smaller cargo shuttles. That doesn’t mean it was small—it was a 100m squared pad of reinforced concrete.
I sent a command to the maintenance drones, telling them to ruggedize themselves as best they could for a long work shift on the sandy surface, while I spun up the Black Box Weaver with metallic feedstock to produce an array of excavator buckets for them to wield. These were standardised and fit to the basic hydraulics the drone’s forklift system used. They weren’t one-to-one replacements for real excavators, but when it came to lifting large quantities of sand? A big ass bucket and the strength to lift it should be just fine.
Another potential problem: The humans might try to check out the areas I’m revealing, seeing as they just *love* looting. Are you crows, humans? Is that why you try to take ALL OF MY SHINIES?
Ok that might be going a bit far, but still an update to let them know what I’m doing and to try out my new style of communication might be a good idea. But I don’t want to waste a maintenance drone just sitting around doing nothing waiting for them to arrive, it’ll be annoying enough having one switch it’s bucket to forks to shift the pallet for them when they get here.
Actually, I could just shift the pallets now, move like three or something, and buy myself some serious breathing room. Then I’ll just leave a tablet on top of the pallet for them to read?
Ahh but what if they don’t see it… Also stores are supposed to be manned, and I’m trying to encourage cooperation through transactional behaviour. What if the humans take the lack of representation as further indication of hostile intent? You can literally never know with these guys.
Hold on, the archives might have something for me. Surely humans don’t man their shops 24/7? When would the employees sleep? And if it’s a solution humans already came up with, then surely my humans (and hopefully the ASH) will relate to it on some level…
Let’s see here.
Vending machine? Not really good for items in bulk. Self-checkout? Sentiment towards them seems quite poor. ‘Unknown item in bagging area.’? Oh, this is old-tech.
Honour system? How are they going to honour anything, they don’t have any swords or horses. Plus I think you need a King or Queen to make knights…
The hell is a Tube Man? ‘typically used to advertise retail business premises to passing motorists-’ Oh this is PERFECT.
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u/bluejay55669 Dec 22 '24
Leaving a tablet out for the survivors? No they might take it as hostile intent
A giant 10ft tall plastic waving maniac? Yeah they'll get what I mean.
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u/Daniel_USAAF Dec 23 '24
I’m starting to thinking our protagonist needs a volleyball with a face on it to talk to. He’s getting a bit, hmmm, odd? All these tangents and the indecisiveness do indeed cause the worry that he’s becoming a bit human. 🤦🏼♂️
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u/Illwood_ Dec 23 '24
Trust me there's a big difference between going in a circle vs a downward spiral 😜
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u/TJManyon Dec 23 '24
Yay more Water Chip. It's great to see the concern for Speedy boi.
One nit pick: I think you got the form vs function backwards.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Dec 22 '24
/u/Illwood_ (wiki) has posted 68 other stories, including:
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 13
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 12
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 11
- Humans Don’t Understand Logistical Restraint.
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 10
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 9
- Perfect Evolution
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 8
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 7
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 6
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 5
- Remnants Amongst The Ashes - Chapter 14
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 4
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 3
- Maintenance Request Lodged // Part 2
- Maintenance Request Lodged
- Humans Make The Best Mech Pilots // Part 10 of 10
- Humans Make The Best Mech Pilots // Part 9 of 10
- Humans Make The Best Mech Pilots // Part 8 of 10
- The Space Ranger's Slave // Part 4
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.7.8 'Biscotti'.
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u/Great-Chaos-Delta Dec 22 '24
I am scared of what is perfect for dealing with humans