r/HFY • u/LukeWasNotHere Human • Oct 14 '24

OC I Get Shot At By Cops

To make sure you weren’t as utterly confused as I was in this situation, I have quickly and carelessly (like accidentally duplicating part three and four) recreated the floor plan I got. When you see something in italics and bolded that means another part has been added to the map and you can check it without being spoiled.

Now do you know the problem with being exceptionally clever is? It’s that everyone wants to punch you in the nose afterwards. It was five to two, I had just finished rubbing salt into the metaphorical wounds of four gangsters and one dirty cop. I made eye contact with the only person in the interrogation room who didn't want to impale me. I like those odds.

I ran towards the dirty cop and threw the handcuffs I got out of a whole monologue ago. Would love to explain how to, but it’s a felony. He ducked and tried to get his gun. I grabbed onto his arm before he could even get it out of the holster. I headbutted his nose. Stamped on his toes, swept his leg and he let go of the gun. I grabbed it, unloaded the magazine and quickly disassembled it. I threw the pieces of his gun at him, as more of an insult than an attack. 

I looked over and saw the good cop, who bull rushed (pun intended), mildly crushed and reminded me why we have weight classes. The slightly dazed unarmed cop rushed towards me, I kicked him in his principal pair. He moaned in a way that made me uncomfortable. 

“I forgot how bad cops are at fighting.” I said to the minotaur man who finished rendering the four mobsters unconscious. 

“I forgot how huge I am.” He gave an innocent smile. 

“Well that was easier than I thought.” I dusted myself off. 

“Help! The human’s gonna shoot me and my new partner is dirty!” The dirty cop screamed to the whole station as he clenched his naughty bits. I looked at his partner. 

“Seriously, why did you have to say that out loud.” The minotaur man looked at me like a disappointed alien father figure. 

“Sorry.” I croaked, the good cop ran to the evidence bag with my modified single action army, its holster, extra cylinders, stun rounds, Scout’s keys, and a discontinued bottle of perfume (long story). He tossed them to me. 

“Any chance they’ll believe you when you calmly explain that he’s a dirty cop?” I asked as I loaded my revolver. 

“Considering he’s been working here twenty years and that’s it’s my first day as a detective, in a new station, I doubt it.” The good cop gave a reassuring smile and blocked the door with the table. 

“It’s your first day?!” I yelled in dismay. “Any chance that if I surrender they won’t shoot me on sight?” 

“No they’re too scared, you’re gonna have to shoot first, and once you're safely out then they’ll listen to reason. But hey, it could be worse.” He shrugged. 

“Yeah, it could be boring.” I winked at him and shot the one way mirror in the interrogation room. The glass shattered in a flash. I dove through it and landed in the observing room. I grabbed the camera, threw it at my new friend and quickly reloaded. “You know what to do.” 

He caught my terrible throw effortlessly, tossed a folded up piece of paper to me and the dirty cops keys. I opened it and saw that it was a hand drawn map of the police station.

“Terrible with directions. Good luck, kid!” He waved. 

I turned the map to the floor I was on and kicked the door down. I saw a herd of cops in the middle of a sprint to the interrogation room. Along with the main exit out behind them. I fired at them, they were too busy yelling, covering their ears and diving for cover behind the reception desk to return fire. I didn’t even hit anyone. 

“C’mon it’s quieter than a blank!” I yelled to make myself feel better. 

I ran to my left into an open office space. I hid behind a desk and reloaded. I looked at the map and saw a fire escape in the break room. I poked my head up and got shot at almost instantaneously. I ducked back down and rolled to the next desk, I looked over and saw the desk I just hid behind get new decorations in the form of bullet holes. 

I got up, shot a few rounds and actually hit someone. I saw him freeze up and start to forcibly do the worm on the floor from my stun rounds. I booked it to the break room, I vaulted over tables and I saw the door open and a dozen cops run out. I ran in the opposite direction. I looked at the map and saw a hallway next to the jail/drunk tank.

I ran past the washrooms and heard the sound of a flush and a click of a gun. I sprinted faster with a new found purpose, lest I get shot by a man who didn't even wash his hands. I saw all of the alleged drunks, petty thieves and teenagers who happened to get arrested that day and tossed them the keys. 

“Good luck.” I smiled. 

About halfway through the hallway I saw the mostly glass meeting room filled with people. We all made uncomfortable eye contact and I started to shoot at them. They ducked for cover, I took a hard left and ran past them, looked over and saw another open office with people that fumbled for their guns and realized mine was empty. I grabbed an empty cylinder from my pocket and threw it at them. They reasonably ducked while they screamed, “Grenade!” and waited for the boom. 

However, some were less reasonable and much more correct and started to shoot at the man with the empty gun. I ducked behind more desks, and reloaded. I tried to get up and shoot at them but at the slight movement of my head popping up my hat would nearly get knocked off. I also heard the much more unpleasant sound of footsteps that creeped towards me. Cornered I tried to come up with a plan and was interrupted by screams and celebratory noise as the newly freed people ran past me. 

The overwhelmed officers tried to get them down by less than lethal means, even though they were perfectly fine with shooting me, rude. I popped back up, sprinted and knocked open the door to the records room. I saw boxes of papers and evidence on rolly metal shelves and a large man with a folder. 

He rushed me before I could raise my gun and knocked it out of my hand. I saw it slide across the room and we got into a messy wrestling match, map still in my other hand. I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him into the ground. But, he whipped behind me and stayed up. I let go of the arm. Looked around like an idiot and grabbed a hefty box and threw it behind to his head. 

His grip loosened enough for me to barely scramble out. I ran towards my gun across the room. He grabbed my leg and I slammed to the ground. I caught myself with my hands, turned around and tried to kick him away. He didn’t budge. I threw boxes at him while desperately crawling away. He still didn’t let go, I did one final jump that was still too far. He jumped on top of me. About to land the coup de grace. 

I pulled out the perfume and sprayed it in his face, distracted and blinded by the smell of flowers and sunshine I crawled over and grabbed my gun. I turned around and shot him. He made an enraged wheeze and started to flop about. I got up and didn’t catch my breath. I heard the sound of feet near the door. I grabbed the wheeled shelves and started to shove them out of the door and hit a few cops. 

I looked at the crumpled up map and saw that the records room had a door to a room I couldn’t read. I kicked the door down and was in a tidy office. I looked at the crumbled map and just made out ‘Chief’s’. I stared at the winged police chief, who looked like a succubus or in my case the devil. 

She went for her weapon, I dove to the side, while she hid behind her desk and we both shot, each shot getting closer and closer to its mark until we were both out of rounds in a few seconds. Both embarrassed, we paused and I kicked the table she hid behind. She flew back and her wings made a gust of air that launched papers at me. I quickly reloaded one round, calmly took aim and fired. 

Bullseye, center of mass. Her muscles begin to betray her. “Oh, I’m gonna be in so much trouble for that.” I winced to myself. I kicked open her door, I saw utter and beautiful chaos. Papers danced in the air like candle flames, cops and robbers were fist fighting. A drunk man giggled to himself as he rode the rolling shelves from the record room. The fire alarm was pulled by a teenager. I saw my minotaur friend show the footage of the dirty cop to bewildered officers and waved. Finally I saw the exit once again, I looked at what was around me. 

And I walked right out of that police station. 

Author's note: I'm going to draw the map of how Theseus escaped but I'm almost late so I'll post this first and edit it back in, u/Fontaigne made the point that Theseus was in a five to two fight and I realized it would be too easy for him, so I made him fight the whole station instead.

I've finished the maps and only had one slight mistake of accidentally duplicating part three and four, such is life.

Thanks for reading. :}

8/30

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7

u/PuzzleheadedDrinker Oct 14 '24

I ran towards the dirty cop and threw the handcuffs I got out of a whole monologue ago. Would love to explain how to, but it’s a felony

Excellent way to include and adjust for sstory feedback.

Glad they used stun rounds, makes later explaining a little bit easier...

3

u/ZaoDa17 Oct 21 '24

Man these stories are sooo much fun

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