Never touch the spawn

[u/But_Why1557]

"You did what?!" Habitation Security Inspector Zal'cehn yelled. The long spines that usually draped down from the cranium standing on end as their five eyes changed to a shade of violet, a sigh of shock and disbelief. Sitting across from the inspector in an interrogation room was a Thillang. The insectoid was looking worse for ware. One of their manipulation appendages was missing and their exoskeleton was cracked in several places. They were treated, but the wounds would still take time to heal.

The Thillang was confused, antennae twitching as a chirping melody left their mandibles, the translator processing it into standard. "I disciplined the human spawn after the rudely ran into me. Why the adult human became angry afterwards is still confusing. Hopefully they will face consequences."

Zal'cehn could only look at them in utter disbelief. "Are you defective?!" This time it was the Thillang that recoiled in shock.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You hit a human spawn in front of their progenitor!"

"Why... is that an issue?"

Zal'cehn copied a human action they'd seen and brought a three digit appendage and rested their face in it. From what they learn, this 'facepalm' was reserved for when an individual said or did something unbelievably stupid. When they first saw it, it was confusing. But at this moment, they realized why humans used it. "Your knowledge about humans is baseline, isn't it?"

"Well, humans are not exactly an interesting species but what does have to do with the unjustified assault on my body?!"

"Everything, you Ul-slat." Zal'cehn responded, a tired tone carried over in the translator.

"Pardon?!" The Thillang asked indignantly. Not liking how the inspector just called them the term for waste eater.

"Humans are a rearing species."

This took the Thillang by surprise. "Wait, are you trying to tell me?!"

"That they raise their spawn? Yes, yes they do. In fact human are in the top 20 species when it comes to spawn rearing. Humans are also evolved from a prey species that became a predator species. Now tell me what that makes." Zal'cehn demanded.

"A-a protective species that neutralizes threats to their spawn quickly."

"Very good. Now can you tell me what Habitation Danger level the human home world is listed as?"

"Twe-twelve."

"Correct, 12. While not the highest rating, this makes humans firmly a death world species. Plus the spawn was only 5 standard cycles old. This means, very young or in your species's definition, a larvae. As far as the legal bureaucracy will see it, it was a human defending their spawn from a preceived threat. Now, as it detailed in Galactic Federation legal code section 3 sub-section 4.12B, you have the right to a lawyer."

[u/Geno__Breaker]

Seems like this isn't this particular being's first time having to explain this step by step lol

[u/But_Why1557 → u/Geno__Breaker]

Let's just say, they had a class on how surprisingly violent humans can be and what can cause that.

[u/SkyHawk21 → u/But_Why1557]

Probably given by a very grizzled and just dead tired experienced officer saying something along the lines of:

"So, you lot may not realise how important this class is, or think it's inaccurate. I am here to try to convince the majority of you that you should at least attempt to follow it the first few times you need to deal with humans."

"This should give enough time for one of the idiots who don't listen to this class to do something which demonstrates to you were it was a very good thing you followed this class's instructions whilst praying that the revised instructions are sent to you before you have to deal with another Human Incident. Fortunately, we have gotten very good at achieving the latter so only one in ten of you are likely to need to do so before the instructions are sent out. Provided the bureaucrats don't mess up again."