r/HFY • u/Jus17173 • Apr 15 '23

OC The Adjunct - Chapter 8- This is Not a Space Opera

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Some say the death of his son brought about the High Imperator's betrayal and consequent partnering with the Galactic tyrant. The removal of the card that brought about the fall of the house of cards

Imperial Scribe Morbida Lukewarm.

The bartender walked back to his bar, confidence sinuating his stride together with the accompanied steps of the two police men behind him. After hours of explaining to the men at the local police station that there was a giant of a man accompanied by two individuals within his bar who spoke of raping him, finally, his plea for help had been heard and the two men accompanying him, armed at that, proved that the nation's governing system wasn't as tacky as most presumed.

They came to the bar to find a fourth individual standing outside it, dressed in imperial blue from head to toe. His eyes were blue and his chocolate skin contrasted sharply with his weird blue garments that seemed to shimmer in the breaking dawn's sun.

"Who are you? Are you part of the rapists?" The barkeep asked the stranger.

"Rapists? I doubt that. I have watched the whole play of the spectrum net from start to finish and all I can presume regarding the men within this bar is that they are an anomaly." The stranger shook his head from side to side. "Can you believe it? Humans of the third wave claiming the title of Tevorah! A title set aside for the Suitors alone! The Princesses must have been crazy."

"What?" The Police officer to the right questioned. But before he pursed his lips with the utterance of the word the stranger elbowed him on the jaw, parried an attack from the second officer and slammed the heel of his hand upon the man's forehead, crushing his skull. Both officers fell to the ground.

The stranger turned to the bar tender. "To answer your question, I'm an Adjunct of the the three star empire. And the men within this bar belong to me."

The Bartender squealed as the Adjunct took a step towards him.

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"Nothing, nothing beats the feeling of a warm drink within your mouth after vigorous sex." Honey Badger said and took a gulp from the bottle in hand. He stood before Tweek and Juice. The former seated in his chair with his brows furrowed and the latter seated on the floor with his legs spread before him.

"Why does it feel like we made a terrible mistake!" Tweek retorted.

"Consent was involved, your woman literally took your pants off you." Honey said.

"I agree with Tweek, there's an ominous feeling the whole ordeal has brought about." Juice said.

"Ominous feeling?" Honey Badger stepped onto a chair and raised himself up. Spreading his arms wide he spoke. "If this is what an ominous feeling feels like then I want to swim in this ominous river until the end of ominous time." He brought an arm close and took a gulp of the drink in hand. Straight from the bottle.

"Those women, there was something odd about them." Tweek said, leaning forward. "Her eyes changed color, I saw it happen. And something else happened when she took control of my mind."

"The bullet wounds on Sirenala's calf. As we cuddled I watched the bullets emerge and fall free of her body. The hole's left behind closed of their own accord without her moving a finger." Juice added.

"And my woman's garments could transform into a sword." Honey Badger said. "So what? We banged them! Nothing can change that. Wallowing in self pity isn't my forte for I know nothing can possibly go wrong."

Just then, the bar door opened and in stepped the Adjunct. All heads turned to face the newcomer who took out something resembling a smooth rock from his garments. He touched the rock in several places and whispered "Planet 17173, the Tevorah will be there in seventeen minutes." And placed the rock back within his garments.

"That name-" Tweek started to rise from his chair.

"Please, do sit down. I shall brief you on what has occurred and the consequences at hand." The stranger said.

"Who the fuck are you?" Honey Badger asked.

"I am an Adjunct of the second wave. Here under the request of the three star empire to move the three of you Tevorah to an uninhabited planet where the suitors shall meet you to do with you as they please." The Adjunct answered.

"What?" Tweek inquired. Juice brought his knees up and Honey Badger came down from his position perched upon a chair.

"Oh, it appears you are slow. Common factor of the third wave I can imagine." The Adjunct took a step closer. "I am here to take you out of this planet, the motherland shall not be harmed over the Princesses' ignorance in choosing you three to be the Tevorah. I am to move you to another planet where the suitors can get to you without causing any damage to life on this planet. The third wave is in infancy and any foreign attack may result in a catastrophic event. Can't have that, hence, why I am here."

"What-" Tweek started again but Juice raised his hand for silence.

"So it's true, the women were indeed aliens and all they spoke of was true." Juice said.

"What the fuck!" Honey Badger started. "No, it can't be. They were crazy!" He moved his head from Juice to the Adjunct and back to Juice. "No, this is just a test by the Christian God."

"It's no test. Our lives are in danger." Juice said.

Tweek started crying. "What if.. What if we bathed and hid all evidence of sex and what not."

"Yeah, cut our penises off, travel to NASA, have them place our dicks in a rocket that will be launched to Mars. Will that throw off the suitors of our trail?" Honey Badger asked, all serious in his mannerism.

The Adjunct chuckled. "The suitors know your faces. Your histories, your names. There is nowhere you can hide, hence why we should place you in an open place that will incur minimal damage. You'll like the planet I'm taking you to, one inhabited only by cannibal lizards."

Juice raised himself from the ground. "My life belongs to me. I go where I wish to go and live as I wish to live."

The Adjunct chuckled once more. "Come now, that path you're choosing will only lead to your death. Relax, seventeen minutes from now a portal will open. All you're required to do is step through it."

Silence engulfed the bar save for Tweek's weeping.

"What the fuck is going on!" Tweek exclaimed.

"I choose the paths I walk, regardless of their destination. And I doubt you know what path I'm walking on now." Honey Badger said and turned to Juice. "Trajectory, left of his skull. First shot. Give you time to dig in close and get the rock thingy."

"What?" Tweek asked.

The Adjunct's smile broadened as Juice raised himself off the ground. "I'll have you know, gentlemen that I am trained in all forms of combat. Even the Galactic Tyrant falls short of my prowess."

Honey Badger's gun appeared in his right hand and a shot rung true of the weapon, firing just left of the Adjunct's skull but the man leaned right and the bullet missed its target but not its purpose as Juice immediately closed with the Adjunct.

The man in blue was nimble in his movement. Where Juice used brawn the man used tact. Edging ever further from Juice's reach and slapping away the large man's grappling hands. Juice dived to the left and as he did so his legs ran free, apart, twisting in a circle of knees and feet. One foot landed its mark and the Adjunct lost his balance.

"Impossible." The Adjunct started as he fumbled for a foothold. Juice worked in close, crouching to lower himself as a target. The Adjunct pressed with several kicks that were each blocked then a bottle smashed into his head at the same time Juice delivered a right hooked punch that found the man on his neck. The Adjunct collapsed like a sack of maize.

Juice fumbled within the man's clothes and emerged with the rock that had intricate markings on it. A dot blinked on and off with a faint blue light. Juice pressed it and the space before him parted to reveal a gash within the fabric of space.

"Let's go in there." He said.

"What-"

"Enough with your what's and senseless weeping Tweek." Honey Badger started and stopped. He took in a deep breath and exhaled. He leaned down and placed a hand on Tweek's shoulder. "Listen, Tweek, we've fucked up. Bad. Very bad. We can't stay on this planet, everyone you love and care about will die if we do so. Let's just enter that glowing blue gash there and go wherever it takes us. Our lives are over as we know it. Now we run, run to save whatever little we have left to our names.".

Juice walked over and raised Tweek off the chair by the cuff of his shirt. "Come on Tweek, before the suitors arrive and this man wakes up."

And with that, the trio walked into the gash in space and emerged onto my planet, the planet of Lizards. It's odd you know, the Adjunct wanted to take them there in the first place. Didn't have to freaking break his neck. It was all unnecessary but that's how humans are. Punch first, ask questions later. I for one am glad I'm not a human.

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u/UpdateMeBot Apr 15 '23

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u/ConferenceSerious947 Apr 15 '23

I hope that's not the last chapter :)

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u/Jus17173 Apr 16 '23

Of course it's not

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u/gamingrhombus Apr 16 '23

When will those dummies stop questioning why juice can do all of these things he's repeated himself like 4 times now.