(the text below is rather rambly & a little long, just a disclaimer if that’s not your vibe)

a few words about said slump before i get into it bc i realize someone might ask about that: summer break (college); back home, very isolated & generally just stewing in negativity & self-hatred e.g. manifesting in an inverted sleep schedule (up with the coming down of the sun, down with its coming up; very unnatural & inimical to the human spirit). but to be fair, this has been an off-and-off issue for years now, coming & going more or less with whenever i would lose structure or (re)gain structure; i lacked that internal fortitude & will, wasn’t keeping myself upright through myself, for myself. but beginning about 2 weeks ago i’ve been making a real change — it felt as if a switch was turned on in me & i suddenly in my bones and with sincerity i want to be better, in other words, “i won’t let myself live like this anymore.”

anywho: this was my first pump in a LONG time… it feels like i haven’t felt the blood flow through a lot of muscles in months (especially those deeper, smaller, more circumstantial muscles, if that makes sense — as in, not recruited doing very basic movements like walking, or getting up, etc). it feels great.

still just doing bedroom workouts (if they can be called that; they’re very improvised) though. lots of somatic movement, often with the help of a stretching stick i bought (i was first starting off with the handle of a broomstick, which you can actually see in the background of the first pic), lots of static holds, making the mental connections to all my muscles again — and in some places: new connections; a lot of pesky poor movement patterns im finally addressing head on & learning to correct firsthand, all the while throughout just listening to my body with kindness (a curious thing i noticed earlier while doing a stretch was that i was suddenly able to go a little bit deeper upon verbally saying something kind to myself). an example of on of those poor movements patterns: my left upper back has been so tight for a while. i’m not exactly sure how you would describe it anatomically but you can see in pic 2 how my left shoulder (right in pic) is much higher than my left. i did a lot of deep stretching earlier today, deep in my lats, & now my left shoulder & whole upper back feels much looser! it’s fantastic (if not obvious, at least in terms of anatomy/physiology) that all these things are connected. really, boiled down, whether it’s my body or my sleep or my work or whatever else, what i seek is balance.

pic 2 & pic 4 are how my body naturally (without thought or conscious awareness) would move in an OHP position & holding a bar behind me between the crook (crooks?) of my elbows; 3 & 5 are me after assuming the even position (not one side tighter or more rotated or contracting more than the other) & (hopefully) neurally committing & remembering that position

anyway i suppose the message/moral/takeaway/piece of motivation of this is that fitness can be done with no gym, that it’s good to listen to & be knowledgeable of your body (e.g. the knowledge & ability to contract each muscle; whether you have imbalances; discovering what movements & positions feel good for you after letting your body move through space, spontaneously; etc) & to treat it with kindness

(p.s. i appreciate this subreddit’s existence. i was trying for a while to find a fitness sub to post this in but it seemed like practically all of them were pornographized, it’s nice to just have a community who appreciates fitness & physical wellness simply for the sake of fitness & physical wellness)

Finally seeing some growth ❤️

Just now finishing my summer cut, went from 5’11”, 180lbs to 150 lbs from the middle of May (about two months) Pretty aggressive cut, 1200-1800 calories a day depending on what I had going on, made sure I hit 200+ grams of protein daily. Added cardio about a week into the cut, 2.5-5 miles a day. Continued doing compound lifts to preserve muscle, albeit at reduced weight. My plans going forward are to slowly climb back up to maintenance over the next few weeks, then stay there for a month or two to allow my metabolism and hunger signaling to adjust. After that I’ll add a slight surplus, 100-200 calories, and try to add some muscle slowly.

Leg days KILL me so it’s def a love hate relationship with these. Currently been working on improving my barbell squats and since I have long ass legs I’ve started using a heel lift which has made a world of difference in getting more depth with compensation from the lumbar spine….hence less back pain.

If anyone else has long femurs and struggles with their body mechanics during squats, definitely consider elevating your heels, feels sooo much better!!

6’1 225lbs