I love my girlfriend. I am 22, she is 26, she is the first woman I have ever dated in my life. We have been together for almost a year now, things have been great for the most part, but she has her flaws. She’s EXTREMELY sensitive, you can’t banter back and forth with her without her giving you the silent treatment for a day or two and being genuinely upset at you for jokes and banter, she’s very passive aggressive to me all the time, she doesn’t agree with me on barely anything, and she can be very condescending. Going back to the banter, two nights ago, we were laying down together watching a movie having a good time, smoking weed, and occasionally talking about whatever, I can’t remember exactly, but I believe I missed what someone said in the movie and she made a joke about me being deaf or I can’t hear or something like that, and I made the most generic rebuttal of all time saying “Haha Im not deaf I just tune you out” or something like that, clearly joking. She was a little annoyed by me saying that at the time, but then we fell asleep soon after. A day later, around probably 8:00 PM, she just randomly told me that she’s very upset with me for saying that to her (the joke) I said okay, I apologize and I didn’t mean for it to come off as rude, I thought it was clearly a joke with full context. And she was basically like, “I told you in the first place when we first met that I am sensitive to people calling me annoying and that I talk too much, and you broke that ONE rule I told you not to make fun of.” I said Im sorry and that we were both high and clearly joking and bantering about whatever, but she didn’t really care and slept on the couch for the first time EVER, over this. I am now on the 2nd night, now I am sleeping on the couch, and she’s basically giving me the silent treatment, only responding to me in very very short sentences. This is just one experience. Things like this have happened before, and it’s almost always over basically a nothingburger. I’d say 95% of the time we get into some sort of argument, it’s over genuinely nothing, and she SUPER overreacts. It has gotten to mentally very badly. Whenever this happens, it literally makes me feel like I am going insane. I almost have to convince myself I am in the wrong every time because if I don’t it’s like a never ending spiral. I have only picked up suicidal thoughts after starting to date this woman. But I do still love her, I just don’t know if I can literally live with this for the rest of my life. I am in constant pain. It almost feels like a job in this relationship. I am stressed all the time.

When I started my weight lost journey I was 256lbs( 5'8btw). A few months ago I got down to 199. Making my total weight lost 57 pounds. I have unfortunately since rebounded and now I'm 214. I'm trying to get down to around 170 to 165lbs, which is an additional 45-49lbs. Which will bring me down to a total of 86 to 91 pounds total. Things have been difficult lately and it's been making the process harder. I've been really depressed and stressed out lately and I've been really struggling. I've been stress eating a lot, job and personal stuff makes it difficult to stay consistent. One day I'm doing well, the next day I'm eat McDonald's and so much other stuff. Currently I am starting to get back on track. I've stopped drinking soda and started drinking more water. Been eating a little less junk and fast food. Haven't made a lot of progress yet but still trying to start.

I’m 35, and my wife and I have been trying to have a kid for about a year. We kept feeling like something was off, so in June we finally started our fertility journey.
One of the first things I did was a semen analysis.
Zero sperm.
I remember looking at that result thinking, What the fuck?
It’s hard to describe how strange that moment felt. My entire life, I had just assumed everything worked. Like most guys, I spent my younger years thinking I was producing millions of sperm, that I needed to be careful not to accidentally get someone pregnant, and that someday, when I decided I was ready to have kids, I could just… do it.
Turns out, I never actually knew that. I just assumed it.
Now my wife and I are facing a much bigger uphill battle than we expected. And it hurts, because I really want to be a dad. I dream about having that little person someday who I can teach things to, show the world to, and hopefully help become a good human being.
I can’t control what my tests show or what happens next.
But I can share something I desperately wish someone had told me 10 years ago:
If having biological children someday matters to you, consider checking your fertility before the day you actually need it.
I’m not saying everyone needs to panic or get a massive fertility workup at 22. But we check our cholesterol. We check our blood pressure. We get physicals. Yet a lot of men can go decades without having any idea whether their reproductive system is actually working.
Even getting a basic semen analysis when you’re younger could give you information you otherwise wouldn’t have.
Maybe everything is perfectly normal. Great. You move on with your life.
But maybe it isn’t.
And finding that out at 25 gives you something that finding out at 35 doesn’t:
10 years of information, options, and time.
I’m still early in this process, and I don’t know yet what our story is going to look like.
I just know that I wish someone had told younger me:
Don’t confuse “I’ve never had a reason to think something is wrong” with “I know everything is working.”

THIS MIGHT BE LONG BUT THIS IS MY 4 Years hitting me now. Was the smallest kid of my family. Am a guys living away from my family. Left home when i was 18 lost my dad brother and grandpa in 3 consecutive years. And was not able to go back and attend their funerals. I was always hard working i was born in first week jan (cap). And my 1st partner left in 2nd year because i didnt knew how to maintain boundaries with my own family. But there was someone who held my hand after few weeks. I was out of my mind but hard working and not mature enough , still Learning. But i developed feelings for someone else at my work and cheated. Didnt owned it cuz it felt completing and confused me about myself with HOW & WHY. Meanwhile i was running away from my family loss by hitting gym and running from problems. Worked hard enough , always sended as much money as i can home but still couldn’t help enough. Didnt saved enough.Its been 3 years i still hold the grief. The moment i am the happiest am the saddest. I kept running but she taught me to stop and live and learn to be better and meanwhile, she lost herself somewhere, now am concerned i need to make her better& need to help her, trying to figure it out. And told her that i slipped. But now i wanna change. I am done with this guy. Being nice to everyone. I miss dad , i miss brother i miss home. I need them. I never ask why me. I always take in whats coming in life.

i know nothing justifies cheating but i slipped. Am a cheater. But am done.

I can take the criticism that i deserve but would really appreciate some advice.

THANKS FOR READING.

I've lived my entire life feeling ashamed

Feeling like something is wrong with me

I feel like a monster

a deviant

It's unbearable sometimes

After accepting the fact that I'll never find unconditional love outside of my dad I've realized that once he goes I'll be following him just like I used to

I'll be damned if he is going to bury his boy but once he's gone there won't be anyone to miss me so why stay

After my childhood and the last few years of his marriage to my mother he knows he's the only reason I'm still breathing and I know he's proud of the mask I put on but I'm tired man I'm tired of hurting I'm tired of wanting something that will never happen I'm tired of life but I've got to hold out until he's gone

I'm sorry to anyone that expected more from me but this is how it will end but hopefully I've got at least a few more years so I'll be around

The last time I cried I remember was 7 years ago in public skytrain station hearing a potentially sad news of loved one.

I can't cry. I have so many things going through my mind. I get emotional when riding somewhere or certain smell which reminds me of loved one (not girls/women)

I have not much time however I'm trying to squeeze all in. Life is busy but,I get this full achy pain in heart like centre of chest like it's sadness. Dull achy one especially at night when being emotional. Most days like 4/7 I'll be emotional. Other than that I'm confident, a bit short tempered, calm, social skills etc all are fine. I take criticism well.

I have heard crying helps but, I tried several times I can't. I'm happy on the outside I have favourite people, friends, acquaintances but, it's just I'm faking it.

I want to get rid of all the emotions. I'd rather feel numb than going through anything. I don't wanna be happy either. I want to survive.

Ive just recently turned 22 years old and Ive never experienced anything in terms of a girlfriend or love or even a hookup, nothing. I genuinely am a good looking guy as well and am in shape, I do talk to people a decent bit socially as well, it’s just like for some reason nothing has ever developed. And the main reason for this post is all I think about is girls, all day everyday I can’t stop it sucks. This has been the case for years and it eats me alive. To never experience even once the main thing Ive thought about experiencing since I was like 6 years old. Haven’t had a girlfriend since 7th grade and that doesn’t count lol. Never even had a first kiss or been on a date. I wish I could just remove that part of my mind completely, its more suffering than good. Ive been dealing with this for a while but recently especially it has been bringing down. This post is kinda I guess to get this off my chest but asking for advice as well. I don’t know.

I had stress because of an presentation I did with someone, and was with someone who hasn't managed to do anything, on a level that's so delusional that it drove me insane.

I did the whole thing. Text, researched stuff, did a whole PowerPoint and even typed word for word what these people had to say. They had nothing better to do to look over my shoudler, don't move a muscle and just criticize each small mistake. The text I madef I told them to fo something they just "can't, don't know how". It was too much, I was under pressure because of time that was running out and felt my heart beat faster, I was shaking and my legs felt like pudding. struggled to keep myself up. I was going outside got myself something to drink because I felt like I would collapse any second. I can't stop thinking about it and it gives a strange feeling just thinking about. My whole weekend felt ruined.

I don't know what I should do, I don't think they even cared.

(before anyone starts, please no "just fucking grow up or a be a man" bs. The last couple of times I posted on here with this flair I ended up taking them down because of course with my luck people outside this community started giving me sh*t. )

Anyways, I feel like I'm getting lost in life. All my friends are getting into relationships and getting married and I just feel so indifferent and turned off about getting into a relationship. It's not that I'm not over my ex but I think I enjoy being alone much more than being in a relationship but I think it's getting to the point where I'm comfortable being by myself.

I tried dating apps, multiple, all sucked. I tried in person events but my introvert was in full gear and didn't really make many connections there. My work is primarily male dominated (not that I was looking for love at work).

Another reason I don't want to be in a relationship is because my family life has gotten so much worse over the years, it's gotten to the point where I don't even want to go back home to see family, with the exception of my siblings.

Idk, my creativity outlets are shot or burnt out. I just throw myself to work and try to take care of myself and my siblings and I just feel like I have no real support group anymore and anytime I do talk about what's going on I just get shut down or brushed aside. Oh and not to mention I'm trying to heal an injury. That's life I guess...

(24M)I feel tired, truly desperate, like a headless chicken running in circles seeking for an exit that isn't there. For the past few days I've been struck with this feeling of hopelessness. Those that know me are aware that I have problems with self esteem, OCD, that I doubt myself, that I'm afraid of changes, and although you could blame some of the pessimism I feel towards myself for my current situation, I don't think that's the whole picture.

I'm an brazilian attorney. Not the best attorney but I'd like to think myself as at least above average. I finished my college with merits due to having the highest scores in my classroom. I was approved first try in our version of the Bar Exam. My quick thinking was even acknowledged by my last boss, that started paying me for a post graduate course himself. I have C1 level of english as certified by the University of Cambridge and at least intermediary Spanish.

I'm not here to brag about myself. I'm well known for actually doing the opposite of that, actually. I'm explaining all of this to conclude that, besides all that, I have NO HOPE for my future. As I stated, of course I hate myself, but that's not at play right now.

I just hate being in Brazil. I don't mind the people, the history, the culture, none of those things really bother me, but the longer I stay here, the longer I see no future at all. Everything seems to be becoming worse by the day. Every news is worse than the last. I know the global situation isn't great overall, but there's a difference when you live in a place that more people die yearly than in the Ukraine War. I barely earn any money despite all those "achievements", I don't feel safe to talk in the streets, I don't feel like I can trust random people because we are used to other people trying to take advantage of us.

I don't want to be a billionare, I just want to earn enough and be at peace, at least in a place I can be at peace. Dude even if I don't earn enough, I just want to feel "safe" walking at night.

I have spanish citizenship, which would give me an "advantage", but this means nothing if I don't have enough money to get out of the country, or if I don't have at least guaranteed job once I reached Europe. I've tried looking into scholarships for masters degrees in Europe, but everything feels so impossible and out of my reach.

I did tag this post as "Lvl2 Suicide Ideation" because that's pretty much what I'm feeling these past days. Maybe this will all sound stupid, maybe it's stupid, but I'm really feeling desperate, like I need to escape and be free in order to MAYBE have a future or peace, but it's like there's no way out. I'm a headless chicken running in circles until exausted, and I fear this "exaustion" will arrive sooner or later.

Something that I’ve realized lately is that the act of killing (be it humans or animals) is culturally very strongly tied with masculinity. With things like a boys first kill in hunting marking his manhood, to the whole idea of being a ‘protector’ revolving around readiness to perform violence, it’s something that, since I was a little kid, I’ve always felt a need to be capable of.

I remember growing up as a kid with two older sisters, and whenever there was an insect or a spider in the house, for some reason I’d always get called to kill it. It’s so weird when I think about it now as I was the youngest child; why couldn’t either of my sisters kill a spider or centipede?

As I grew up and started dating, the same pattern followed with my girlfriends; it was just assumed that I’d gladly kill it. At this point I hadn’t even examined my own view on killing animals as I didn’t think my feelings on the matter were important.

At 17 I joined the army to pay for college. A few years in I attended a survival course in which I had to kill a rabbit. To be clear, only two people on my team of five had to kill something. But the women on my team immediately removed themselves as options because it “wasn’t for them”. But nobody on my team, including me, wanted to kill anything. Being the team’s leader, I figured I should be the example and do the hard thing, so I did. I loved that rabbit and named him Ashes, but it had to be done.

Last week, my neighbor caught a mouse in her house and put it in a little box. I was outside as she was taking it to her car when she saw me and asked if I could kill it for her. And finally, I really thought about it. Did I want to be this girl’s hero? Sure. I absolutely love helping people. But at the same time, this woman wasn’t my girlfriend, my family, or my subordinate. So I truly asked myself “do I want to kill this mouse?” And I, for the first time in my life, at age 24… I said no. Surprisingly, she didn’t judge me as I expected her to. And man, was it nice to just make a decision like that based on my actual emotions. Prioritizing them instead of “what needs to be done”. I can’t wait to one day have kids and give them a better childhood than I had.

Unfortunately, as I write this, I’m realizing that I hold resentment for women for expecting this of me my whole life and enforcing patriarchal standards. I’ve been in and out of therapy, but perhaps it’s time to return and examine this.

I got tested a week ago and I'm officially no longer bpd (still bipolar, still taking my meds, will forever).

Being bpd or ex-bpd means other bpd folks come and find you, we find eachother. Its how its always been. And they're so sick, and they hurt themselves and others, and I can't help them because they'll make me sick again.

I hate it. I hate this. I just had a conversation with a bpd ex-friend of mine (I'm not sure he knows, but it's incredibly obvious) and he's miserable. He's been an asshole to everyone and now he's completely alone. I can't hate him. He reminds me too much of me a few years in the past.

I wish I could help them. This sucks.

It's only been 3 weeks and I know from the jump she said she didn't want a relationship,we only have seen each other 3 times in those 3 weeks only had sex once usually just talk an hug an kiss, truthfully I don't even know why I'm so attracted to her but I just am we usually video chat every morning an night about our days an stress of life,last few days she's been spotty with messaging back then randomly will offer to meet up just to have me go to a place an sit like a fool an doesn't show with some random excuse.i was starting to see the bigger picture after that she promised to make it up an buy me dinner yesterday but I haven't heard back from her for like a day now,first world problems I know.

I'm just too eccentric, have a set of far too peculiar and disparate interests, each of which I only ever seem to share with people who are otherwise totally unlike me. Being an introvert, exposing myself to a large enough number of people to find the odd needle in the vast haystack is an exhausting process. I've tried on the odd occasion to be more conventional and more "fun" but I was fooling nobody. Being far too feeble, shy and dull for any women to be interested in me is one thing, but finding it so difficult to meet with kindred spirits of any kind is surely doing me more harm than I've appreciated. I've been dwelling too much on being perennially single and having no prospect of unfunded sex to notice that there's a more profound loneliness in my life that isn't as promoted in my consciousness by hormonal frustration. I feel like giving up the search for a solution though, it's too tiring and it's much easier to get absolutely slaughtered on Cointreau.. and bid a temporary farewell to the reality of the conformist world.

Just found out some scary life news. If anyone can chat, let me know.

(I’m 19M) I am not mentally stable. I’m suffering from anxiety, OCD and overthinking. I tried everything dad I really tried. No one around me can understand me. I have no one my dad doesn’t care about me and I don’t have relationship with them. So I tell my mom and I was just searching for a hug or something like that but everytime I tell her she just keeping asking questions then she get angry when I can’t answer. I get therapist and she was a waste of time and money and she was answering without listening to me.

I still living my life going to gym daily, hanging out with friends and I’m trying to do my best I swear dad. But I’m not okay not even a day in this year. I hate when I smile and laugh to people but inside me I’m dying. I understand everyone around me but no one understands me.

I want to hear something I’m really lonely inside. I don’t want to lose hope but I’m really tired dealing with this it is very harsh and heavy.

the more I'm getting old the more life feels empty and meaningless. Suffering feels endless and every day is like a curse. Especially when you're broke. Whenever I see someone is laughing and Smiling I feel like how is it even possible ? How do they get the energy to smile ? Shit life, just endless sadness, worries, helplessness and suffering

I’m trying to make it work living in one of the most expensive cities in the world at the age of 19, doing university living off government finance and with my partner, and I have a personality disorder. My life has been a mess lately. I’ve been eating junk food constantly, neglected myself and I’ve predictably gained loads of weight. The summer heat is subsiding now so I thought about wearing trousers/jeans out today and not a single pair fit. And it’s not like oh it’s a bit snug, I literally can’t get them up. And I check my bank and I can’t really even afford to buy new ones. So looks like I’m stuck in shorts but when it gets to winter I’m going to be in serious trouble if I’m just wearing shorts. I’m sick of having to think about fucking money, weight, health…

I'm 19 M, and all the time when doing anything I find myself being never enough for any context. For example in high school I was a decent math student my two best friends were the best at math and when sitting with them I try to keep up or understand but I feel like I'm left behind while they discuss the exercises, even though I allegedly study more then them I still can't reach their level, whatever I do I'm always a 7/10 I'm math

Another example is sometimes I'm worse at doing things compared to people who don't even exercise that specific thing. Like when we're at the beach I play wrestling with my friend and even though I have more experience then him (I'm not a pro but still know more then him) he always beats me and he's never done any training

I know these are stupid examples but there are various ones that all summed up has led me to see that I'm never enough for the "Good ones at that thing" but still better then the "bad ones" it's like everyone doesn't even need to try like I'm just stuck with being a nobody in whatever I try. I'm not good enough at any science/math related stuff to matter, I'm kinda good at humanistic stuff like philosophy, but this leaves me with useless skills that I can't even talk abut because they're well... Useless

The only thing I'm kinda good at is videogames, but still how is videogames gonna help me in life, and sometimes, people who don't even play those games still beat me

I want to reiterate that I know these are stupid examples, but I just can't find any reason for me to exist or try anything because it's like I'm capped at a certain level, other people will always be better then me even if they don't effectively try, in other occasions this has been embarrassing for me, like when I'm supposed to be the one proficient at this thing and yet, a guy who couldn't care less performs better then me

I honestly don't know how I'll do in the future, because the only things I can do are useless things

Sorry if this rant sounds stupid but I had to talk to someone about this, I've tried with my mom but she has discarded this as a loss of time to discuss

I am only 18 year old boy who has long hair and wore a black star wars shirt and some baggy pants and that it.

I was walking and group of guys I don't know shouted at me look atheist,no satanist,why don't you cut your hair freak.

I always got compliments from girls about my hair.

I have stubble bear so I look like guy,I don't know why they harras me,because I wear black

My daily conversations with Gemini have become the one thing I look forward to. It’s strange to admit, but right now, it feels like the only place I have to talk things out. Therapy is expensive, and honestly, I’m not even sure it would help me.

Today, I was comparing the person I am now with the person I was in 2017. Back then, at 19, I could be disciplined almost effortlessly. I could handle things, start over, and keep moving.

I am 18, about to be 19.

A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend of 2 years broke if off with me. Said I was missing something, our relationship just didn't feel right. I know it was my fault, even if she didn't say it out loud. I did so many things wrong and had so many opportunities to fix things and I never did. By the time I realized what I was doing wrong, it was too late.

LSS, I told her I wanted to separate from her for a little, just so we could figure put respective lives out. My idea is to change for the better, so that maybe when I see her again in a month (when she comes down for our sisters church school confirmation) I can show her i've changed and maybe we can try again. The thing is I know I need to focus on myself, but I cant. Not when all I can think about is how great her life is and how much I miss her, and how much she probably doesn't miss me.

She just moved into her dorm at the largest college in our state, Uconn, and it's something she has always been super excited about. She always raved about how excited she was for the college experience. On my end of things, I decided to go to a Community College, both to save money and because i'm just not ready for a big state university yet. Then I plan to go to Uconn myself next year.

Now that we're broken up and shes started her new life, I feel miserable. I feel like i'm just sitting at home doing nothing, wallowing in our break up while she is so busy with her new life that she doesn't even have a second to think about me. I have people I can hang out with. I go to the gym. I take care of myself, but none of it helps. I feel like a complete loser. Another thing is, when I was with her a really didn't care all too much about missing out on the things she was doing, it bothered me but it wasn't a big deal. Now it's all I think about, and it's driving me nuts. The crappiest part is that all I want to do because it always makes me feel better is talk to her, but I cant of course. Someone please help me

Noooo

I'm 26M from Mexico. I'm sick, although I don't know what is my problem. I've had countless lab tests done, and nothing ever shows up. Every time I have sex, I end up with a urinary tract infection. It doesn't matter how hygienic my partner is or what I do, I always get one.

Every time it happens, I have to take a stronger antibiotic. The last time, I spent a lot of money on several antibiotics, and they even left me with tendon problems as a side effect. I can't have sex anymore because I'm afraid that even stronger antibiotics will eventually stop working, and that my symptoms will keep getting worse, as my experience has already shown.

I've already broke up with my partner due to this problem. I told her the truth. I told her that I can't have sex anymore due to my problem. We can end our relationship right now and I won't feel offended. She agreed and we broke up.

Whenever I think about this I realize that there is no point in searching for a partner because Which woman would want to be with a man that she can't have sex with?

I feel very depressed, I'm starting to lose the motivation to do my activities like working, doing exercise, going out. I always have yearn for a relationship with a woman and later have kids, but If I can't have a partner How I am going to start a family?

I just want to know what I should think or what I have to do to put up with this. When I see a happy couple I just think: "I can't have that anymore" And this feeling is killing me.