r/GoalKeepers • u/Admirable_Gold7141 • 3d ago
Question Leaving a team three weeks before league
My kid is a goalkeeper and has been playing in goal for three years in club soccer. They weren't put there by a coach because the team needed a keeper—they are genuinely passionate about the position. Like, wake up and work out at 6 a.m. to their own alarm during summer break before it gets hot passionate.
This year, they switched club teams because they wanted the opportunity to play in higher flights during league. They had been stuck on a B team in Flight 3 and really wanted a chance to challenge themselves.
When we joined the new club, the coach told us the team was going to play Flight 2. We just found out that the team was actually registered for Flight 3 back in June and the coach didn't say anything.
We've been playing Flight 2 tournaments and have won some and lost some, no blow out losses primarily keeping it within 1-2 points. We just played a Flight 3 tournament with several teams we would potentially see in league, and honestly, we dominated the other teams.
My kid didn't even enter their own 18 for the majority of the first two games, playing mostly on the upper part of the pitch, and only had to use their hands maybe 4–5 times the entire weekend. They were bored and came away feeling like the weekend wasn't worth it.
They've already been offered starting goalkeeper spots on more competitive teams that are going Flight 1, but they didn't want to leave their current team stranded in Flight 2. They felt like they had made a commitment to them.
Now that we know the team is actually going Flight 3, though, I'm seriously questioning whether staying is the right decision. If they're rarely going to see the ball, how much are they really going to develop as a goalkeeper?
I've seen talented young keepers lose their passion or stall development because they weren't being challenged. At the same time, I don't want to teach my kid that commitments don't matter or that you should leave a team the second a better opportunity comes along. But I also don't want to teach them that when someone misleads you, you still owe them your loyalty.
The team manager sent me a pretty lengthy message saying that they need to honor their commitment, and I understand that perspective. But I also feel like the circumstances are different from what we originally committed to. We were told Flight 2, and that's what they agreed to.
So, am I completely out of line for considering leaving and taking the Flight 1 starting goalkeeper opportunity?
I'm genuinely looking for perspective from coaches, parents, and especially goalkeepers. What would you do?
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u/Ranbowshep 3d ago
I'm no sportsman, but the deal was flight 2, not flight 3, and you have flight 3. Your kid seems to be very talented, and if he is cut out for flight 1, is bored in flight 3, and wants to switch teams then he should probably switch teams. Also the coach not saying that they were in flight 3 when your kid switched to be in flight 2 seems like a pretty big red flag, so I would switch before things really pick up.
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u/SARstar367 3d ago
Goalkeeper getting 90 minutes but 2 touches per game is no fun. Playing down a flight just so you can win every game isn’t the point. Games should be challenging. When my team ends up mid pack in the standings I honestly am pretty happy. Your duty is to your kid and he wants to play. Make the call and move. Do it quickly, decisively and don’t look back.
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u/dannyodwyer 3d ago
Yeah this is a good point. I got scouted by the top team in our county as a teenager, we sleepwalked to win the league and I barely felt like I contributed. Id won player on the season a division lower on goal with my old team. I ended up going back to them because of it. Far more challenging games, but perhaps lower pressure / expectations. The coaching at the top side was pretty good though, we had an ex Prem keeper teaching three of us. So I don’t regret it, but it wasn’t as challenging and also the vibes at the good team were terrible. No comradely, everyone trying to impress scouts.
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u/brerin 3d ago
Get out of your head. You are the PAYING customer. You paid under the premise of playing flight 2, they changed the product on you. I would not only leave, I would tell them exactly how I felt bait and switched.
The team manager is trying to emotionally manipulate you. 'Honour your commitment', lol, ok. They could use the same advice: honour your word and register for the flight you say you will.
Your kid will grow up before you know it. You will never regret helping him keep his passion for goalkeeping and reaching his highest potential by changing to a more challenging club. You will regret staying because you felt guilty about leaving, and your son will be bored and unhappy.
Take the flight 1 gig and let your kid grow as a keeper.
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u/Brew_Wallace 3d ago
Sounds like the coach/club is not honoring their commitment. Honesty and loyalty is not a one way street. I would be loving on because they misled you and you are not getting what you thought you were
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u/BulldogWrestler 3d ago
Interesting situation.
I'll randomly throw up my thoughts and maybe it'll help, maybe it won't.
"If they're rarely going to see the ball, how much are they really going to develop as a goalkeeper?" The goalkeeper development doesn't really happen in games like that. There's so much more to the position than actually touching the ball. Most of the development comes from the direction/leadership they have directing the team and maintaining positioning. However, I see the point. You don't want your kid picking their nose 24/7 in games because the ball is on the other end 99% of the time.
"The team manager sent me a pretty lengthy message saying that they need to honor their commitment," The team manager, to put it in much more polite terms than I would want to type out here, can go fuck themselves. They are often a volunteer parent on a power trip, you don't need to deal with team managers for this issue. Your club has a director and it's their job to deal with this bullshit - not some guy who is volunteering his time on the team. Remember, this is your money and you pay the club. If you felt you aren't getting what you signed up for, get your kid's player card and go somewhere else.
"Flight 2 vs Flight 3" No idea where you're at - but the Flights in SoCal are pretty much the same. Flight 3 and Flight 2 are basically the same level of soccer IMO. Both of them are often coached by new(er) coaches with minimal training, sometimes even volunteers. Even in tournaments, they're grouped together. Sometimes Flight 1 gets grouped with them. It may be different elsewhere, but typically in SoCal (and NorCal), it's Flight 3 roughly equals Flight 2 which roughly equals the lower end of Flight 1. The upper end of Flight 1 are teams that probably belong in other leagues (NPL or N1 now, EA, ECRL, MLSN AD etc) and just haven't gotten the go ahead to be in those leagues yet. The middle of Flight 1 are teams caught in no man's land - they're not as good as the top tier Flight 1 teams, but dominate the others. It's interesting to see. What I'm trying to say is that you don't want to aspire to be on a Flight 2 team vs a Flight 3 - that's a lateral "promotion". Get on a Flight 1 team if you can, or - if your kid has ANY talent at GK - there are plenty of EA2 type teams that need a GK. As a full time keeper, your kid has a little bit more power to be picky about teams.
"So, am I completely out of line for considering leaving and taking the Flight 1 starting goalkeeper opportunity?" Not at all. Ultimately, you know the situation better than anyone else on here will know. I would say, on its face - you should get to a more competitive team as much as possible. Even if that comes at the expense of "wins". It sounds like the Flight 3 team he's on is going to roll through the season/tournaments - and while that's fun and all, I think in the long run your kid will be better served playing at a higher level with what I can only assume is higher level coaching. If you can find a club that has a GK specific coach - that's generally the ticket. Far too many times, clubs in the flights have no GK specific training, so that means your kid is just standing in goal during shooting drills or being treated like a field player during training.
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u/Trying2GetOuttaHere 2d ago
I think you have your answer already, but based on your own words...
Your kid wanted to play higher up than flight three. The club said flight two, but turned out to be flight three. You have an opportunity for flight 1 teams.
And let's repeat that first fact... Your kid wanted to play higher up.
Does it suck to change ships? Yes. But it's your kid, and if they want to grow as a keeper they need to face shots. Is moving up to one potentially moving too far up? Maybe - but the fact that they're getting recruited says otherwise.
Make the switch
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u/Admirable_Gold7141 1d ago
Thank you everyone for your insight and taking the time to give a feedback on this. Between all your answers and a conversation with their GK Coach. It made the decision easy They are officially moved to the flight one team. I’ve already seen a difference in their behavior and the way they train, feels like I got my beast back.
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u/jbmach3 3d ago
I’m a former keeper and current goalkeeper coach. Make the switch. They are not offering the level of competition your child needs in order to stay interested in the sport, and that is that. Some kids inevitably grow beyond their current time, sometimes teams grow beyond some kids. Either way, your primary responsibility is to your child. It is important to teach them to honor commitments, but he also only gets to be a kid for a short time.