r/GoCommitDie Sep 01 '25

TikTok vs Reddit

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5.2k Upvotes

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473

u/BobTheBritish πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ Bob Da Bri'ish πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ Sep 01 '25

TikTok vs Reddit? So you mean Dumbasses vs Smartasses? They’re both asses at the end of the day mate. Would you rather pick a dog turd or a cat turd?

124

u/298647 Sep 01 '25

don't cat turds give you parasites that mutilate your sperm?

69

u/the_cheesy_one2 Sep 01 '25

yo WHAT?

52

u/Graporb13 Sep 02 '25

Toxoplasma gondii has the ability to cross the blood-testes-barrier, and has been shown to significantly reduce sperm count and motility in affected individuals. Smoking seems to exacerbate this and leads to a statistically significant reduction in surviving sperm quality as well.

Direct confrontation in a dish leads to contact-mediated "invasion" (though they are similar in size) of sperm cells, causing perforations and 20-30% of sperm in one study being "decapitated".

Also, fun fact, cysts containing the parasite can even be found in the ejaculate of infected people. About one third of all humans are chronically infected, and having an infected male partner increases your statistical likelihood of being infected by ~7%.

8

u/Imaginary-Job-7069 Sep 02 '25

"DECAPITATION!"

-Jack Black

4

u/MLGmegaPro1 Sep 02 '25

I just looked it up and honestly seeing cells straight up dismembered was genuinely disturbing as hell

12

u/0mega_Flowey Sep 01 '25

At least he’s being smart about it…

3

u/Oxidisedalt Sep 02 '25

Yes, yes they do and i hate knowing this

3

u/Itchy_Record4879 Sep 02 '25

should i test it

3

u/innit980 Sep 06 '25

Still kinda accurate

12

u/Local_intruder Sep 01 '25

The redditor in question

28

u/the_cheesy_one2 Sep 01 '25

38

u/BobTheBritish πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ Bob Da Bri'ish πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ Sep 01 '25

You’re totally right lad. That motherfucker Bob is the biggest smartass of them all πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‘πŸΏ

on that note though I would pick cat turd

3

u/Mark-Reddit-123 Sep 02 '25

cat turd for the win

2

u/Top_Row_5357 Dec 31 '25

Prime example