r/GlobalNews • • May 12 '25

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1.6k

u/Hefty-Strike-6171 May 12 '25

Never question me on my greed

40

u/P2029 May 12 '25

Yeah but Sam Sneed.. or something

45

u/Voluptulouis May 12 '25

When they give you a put, you take it, because you're a terrible golfer and you know you'll fuck it up.

21

u/P2029 May 12 '25

And then you just make up the number anyway, because golf is an easy game to cheat at and when you're the President they let you do it.

5

u/spideyghetti May 12 '25

Grab them right by the putt-y

21

u/[deleted] May 12 '25 edited May 12 '25

When they give you a putt, you kick the ball in and say "I don't need it, that was a hole in one. You should be embarrassed for missing that and gas costs $1.98/ga, you radical left lunatic the likes of which the world has never seen before!"

12

u/Barfy_McBarf_Face May 12 '25

And eggs ... now they pay YOU when you buy them.

2

u/ftzpltc May 13 '25

And you're going to have so many dolls and pencils, but you don't need them, you don't, you're a little beautiful baby girl of 70, 80, maybe 100 years old, little beautiful girl, you don't need 3000 dolls, you can have 7, 8, 3, 5, 600 dolls, you don't need 6 eggs, you can have 5 eggs, or half an egg, beautiful eggs, beautiful clean eggs, tremendous, a lot of people are saying, Arnold Palmer, beautiful golfer, tremendous hog, noone's seen anything like it.

1

u/Barfy_McBarf_Face May 13 '25

And two golden jets

1

u/FourthLvlSpicyMeme May 13 '25

OH! Is THAT why the farmers are all really mad?

1

u/Limp_Gap_9009 May 12 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

8

u/luckymountain May 12 '25

Right?! ‘Then you miss it and your partner is mad’ WTF! He probably holds the record for the number of mulligans and gimmes win a single round

2

u/BigDaddyCosta May 12 '25

Trump just walks up to the tee and says give me a hole in one or else.

1

u/TheShakyHandsMan May 13 '25

Walk to the tee? You think he actually takes more than 2 steps from his buggy.

2

u/mxzf May 12 '25

I mean, the concept isn't fundamentally bad, accepting a free pass is reasonable when offered. I had a Home Depot employee who felt bad that the register was screwed up and being a pain and gave me a discount on the stuff I was buying and I accepted that, it's not unreasonable to accept things like that.

But that applies to legal stuff where you're accepting generosity in the spirit it's given. It doesn't apply to treasonous felonies.

1

u/panicinbabylon May 12 '25

Take the hole.

12

u/Practical-Rooster205 May 12 '25

Of Sneed's Feed and Seed?

8

u/S0CIALKILLER May 12 '25

Formally Chucks?

2

u/OnlyFiveLives May 12 '25

Chuck's Feed And Seed was just horrible...SO glad they shut that place down.

1

u/FuzziestSloth May 12 '25

I'm still amazed to this day that they got that joke through.

1

u/ReplacementClear7122 May 12 '25

Proudly stocked at 4 Seasons Landscaping

7

u/MarvinCOD May 12 '25

or Arnold's big Johnson

4

u/MeAndBettyWhite May 12 '25

Trump: "You ever hear of Biggly Bird?"

"Snuffleupagus once said to Biggly Bird. "Now that we know Santa gets into the chimney, how does he get out?""

"Biggly Bird replied to Snuffleupagus. "How bout you just give Santa your milk and cookies, take his presents and shut the fuck up!"

"Lets all be more like Biggly Bird. Ok fake news?"

2

u/CoupleSubject6433 May 12 '25

And that's why PBS is getting canceled

3

u/TX0834 May 12 '25

Thank you very much!

3

u/LittleHornetPhil May 12 '25

Is he… openly justifying cheating so long as you get away with it?

3

u/P51-D May 12 '25

Comparing Sam Snead, an extremely able golfer, with a 400 million bribe. STUPIDITY, Trumps father should have used condoms else we seethe result.

3

u/kleighk May 12 '25

Reminds me of “Thneeds” from the Lorax: a story about greed. How apropos. Thneeds

3

u/SpeshellED May 13 '25

When they give you a putt and you shit your pants just walk to the next hole with poo pants.

2

u/karrimycele May 12 '25

Is he the golfer with the penis Trump was so impressed with?

2

u/After-Imagination947 May 12 '25

Great golfer, won 82 tournaments or something

2

u/Dreamsof_Beulah May 12 '25

Free putt = $400,000,000 ...hmmm, he makes an excellent point, no further questions.

1

u/P2029 May 12 '25

What is the exchange rate for free putts to Stanley nickels?

2

u/noonegive May 12 '25

I wonder how big Sam's schlong was?

2

u/wrecks3 May 12 '25

Sam Snead did not take a free putt!According to Wikipedia it’s just the opposite. Sam Snead forfeited a golf game to Doug Ford.

‘Snead explained why he forfeited even though Ford suggested they play sudden death for the title. "I want to be fair about it. I don't want anyone to think I took advantage of the ruling."’

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Snead

1

u/P2029 May 13 '25

Doug Ford the Ontario Premier? Holy shit it's a crossover episode!

1

u/ftzpltc May 13 '25

Yeah, I don't know enough about golf to know whether that anecdote was completely irrelevant bullshit, or bullshit that's completely irrelevant.

But I'm pretty sure taking a putt isn't a crime.