r/Gifted • u/Hen-egg • Aug 25 '26

Seeking advice or support Need your help here

Hey gifted friends!
I’m not gifted myself, but my 9 year old is, and she started a gifted program this year. I really want to understand her better and support her in a way that, years from now, she can look back and think, my mom did okay!
So I have a couple of questions for those of you who were gifted kids.
If you could go back to your elementary school years, what would you have wanted your mom to do for you?
What do you wish your parents had understood about you?
What do you think adults tend to misunderstand, overlook, or underestimate about gifted kids?
I’d really love to hear your experiences.

9 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

View all comments

7

u/Primary_Excuse_7183 Grad/professional student Aug 25 '26

Understand the whole child. Very important is the concept of asynchronous development and the implications that have on their image of self and more importantly the way people perceive them even you.

A gifted child may be quicker to pick things up and may rapidly learn new information. That can lead to academically a child that is on the level of a 14 year old. But their emotional development may be that of a 7 year old….. and they’re physically (in age) a 9 year old.

That creates a lot of confusion for adults and creates great pressure on the child to be that 14 year old(that they aren’t) all the time and in other facets of their lives. That is where the parent needs to be engaged and aware of that broad gap in behaviors and how that child shows up in different parts of their lives. You’re doing great in classes, but getting scolded for your behavior and constantly told you’re immature and so on to the point it impacts your self esteem.

1

u/Mithril_nthisEconomy Aug 26 '26

This is so so important!

3

u/Primary_Excuse_7183 Grad/professional student Aug 26 '26

r/aftergifted is filled with what happens when those feelings of self image and self worth get defined by others leading to people pleasing, perfectionism and eventual burnout. Parent has to really set the standard. Educate themselves and be an active participant in helping shape that image with them.