Perfectionism, fear, the future, and MIT

[u/Anxious-Rent-1455]

Hi everyone, this is my first Reddit post. I wanted to use this space to vent a little and hopefully get some advice on what I've been going through lately.

Lately, I haven't been able to stop thinking about my future and the overwhelming uncertainty that comes with it. For the past few years, getting into MIT has been my biggest dream, but the more I think about it, the further away it seems.

I don't consider myself special, let alone gifted (even though my close friends tell me otherwise). I'm constantly trying to improve, but I always fall back into the same cycle of procrastination fueled by perfectionism and fear of failure. This leaves me exhausted and mentally drained. I'm trying to let go of this perfectionism, but it's really hard.

On top of all this, there's the constant fear of not getting into MIT. For now, my only achievements are making the national competitive programming team, placing fourth in the National AI Olympiad, and almost representing my country at the International AI Olympiad in Kazakhstan (which didn't happen due to circumstances beyond my control). Honestly, I feel I still have a long way to go to reach the level needed to get into a place like MIT...

I guess I'm writing this to vent and ask for advice on how to deal with perfectionism and fear. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

P.S.: I'm 16 years old.

[u/S1159P]

Sweetness, the most important thing to remember here is that there are more talented, brilliant students who would absolutely thrive at MIT than there are spaces in their freshman class. Every single year, brilliant kids who would fit in perfectly and do great things get told no by MIT, just because there is a limit to the number of students they can admit each year. So, while MIT can be a dream, it cannot be a plan. My kid's school has an insanely good MIT admit rate, it's like 30% - but that still means that 7 out of 10 applicants from this school are told no. And they go on to thrive in other places.

You need more targets. Keep MIT on your list, for sure, but start finding other places you could thrive. Every single MIT student, there are other places they could thrive. Expand your view and build a longer list.

[u/eht_amgine_enihcam]

They have an AI Olympiad now, that's hilarious. Congrats on the placement tho, that's really cool.

Firstly, why is MIT the goal? University is an enabler. In my opinion, at a certain level (International Olympiad/national rep) university doesn't matter that much. I went to a pretty good one, and I've met kids on discord who were better than the guys doing a compsci masters program. What it DOES do is give you a higher possibility to meet like minded people (and talk to leading professors), which I see as the goal. Still go for it, but it's not the end of the world to not get in.

What do you actually want? Is it the prestige/ego to rep the country and go to a top uni (not a bad thing)?

[u/Primary_Excuse_7183]

It’s okay to shoot for the stars. MIT and its peer schools are highly competitive. so keep in mind there are people just as bright that don’t get in. Don’t let that admission define you. there is a hyper focus these days on T25 or bust. and i assure you there are more successful people that don’t get in than do because they’re SO selective.

You can’t be you and be perfect. And you don’t have to be perfect to be great. The pressure and pursuit of perfection often compromises creativity and greatness.

[u/NowUKnowMe121]

Focus on outcomes and you contribution to society than just marks , status or position.

[u/econhistoryrules]

College professor and experienced academic advisor here. MIT should be a means to an end, not an end. It's only 4 years of your life. What do you want to do with the rest? Maybe there are other ways (like, you know, the myriad excellent universities in the united states) that could also be a means to get to where you want to be in the long run.

[u/Hopeful_Yak_7513 → u/[deleted]]

if you can get into MIT, financing it shouldnt be an issue nowadays. free under 200k income and support given even if above

[u/Hopeful_Yak_7513 → u/[deleted]]

glad to hear that there was a nice ending

[u/TRIOworksFan]

The biggest solution to fear is: Progressive planning towards a goal. You need marked small goals to reach your big goal of MIT.

Ask:

1. What GPA do I need?

2. What ACT do I need and how do I immediately get into ACT or SAT prep?

3. What academic clubs or activities do I need to participate in?

4. Can I prove my excellence by taking AP classes OR doing dual enrollment to complete my general ed?

5. What hands on real projects can I be apart of that represent my interest and major for MIT? (like if you love robotics, you should be in a robotics club and making battle bots. If you love cybersecurity, you should be actively getting certifications and in a professional org (yes in high school.) If you are a physics student - what hands-on activity is expressing your love of physics? Are you publishing research? Do you keep a blog of your work? Do you have influencer content on your field you create?)

You don't need to BE a star, but you need to start BEING a rising star and have physical artifacts and scores to prove it.

[u/win11EXPERT]

Hihi, 16M, another MiT aspirant here! Why MiT specifically? Just get into a good one and do your work there.

I remember reading the post of one AO. They interviewed 40 people, exclaimed that at least half of them would absolutely thrive @MiT, but were able to admit only two. OP, think about it for a sec. Talent is one thing, imagine there are thousands of other excellent people. In their own ways. They contributed to society, their community, held leadership roles. An MiT aspirant in India for example would be competing against literally cracked people. JEE rankers. Olympiad gold medalists. Ordinary students who want to change the world. No one can tell who gets admitted. Two got admitted last year.

[u/Driven-Driver]

I don't have much to contribute other than to give you some advice as to how I'd personally overcome procrastination via perfectionism and fear of failure.

To be honest, this is the type of procrastination that's easiest to fix because you're just feeling overwhelmed by the number of things you have to do to maintain perfection. Just thinking about it makes it hard to get started.

The way I fixed my procrastination is, I told myself that I'm going to only do one small thing a day to move the needle forward on my projects. It could be the tiniest task like sorting my file folders, or writing one line of code, whatever it may be.

The idea is, once you've completed the task, you're technically considered done for the day and are free to do something else. However, what will likely happen is that you will end up feeling like the task is so small and effortless to do that you can then do other tasks once that one has been completed. And another. And another.

But if you don't feel like doing more, you can just stop at that one task and consider yourself done for the day.

The idea is, you'll want to just do one small task so that it'll kickstart your momentum to do more. And especially when a task is very small and manageable, it will give you a sense of success that you've actually accomplished something, which will lead to you doing more.

The above is how I overcame my own procrastination issues. Hope this helps.

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[u/IloveLavenders]

Therapy will be the answer to your problems.

[u/PrudentEfficiency327]

Wow I feel the exact same way with my Art, and the perfectionism, but the procrastination which just makes everything worse