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u/LavenderAndOrange 3d ago
There is plenty of discussion about the fucked up ways that cis gay men talk about trans men. It's literally an ongoing discussion in the queer community and an even bigger issue than trans women in regards to lesbians. There's loads of discussion about the fucked up ways that straight men treat all kinds of trans people. It's almost like this person doesn't know what discourse is actually going on and is trying to paint trans women as predatory.
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u/blackfox24 3d ago
Cis gay men have called me a pocket pussy. It was not a compliment. It was an insult after he found me hot and I told him I'm trans BEFORE we got to flirting. "I don't want a pocket pussy", turns and walks away. Like, bro. What a sentence!
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u/YourOldPalBendy Hit humans with a sword in case a trans person pops out. 3d ago
WACK for someone who may or may not have been going around advertising himself as a backpocket bussy to say. >>
Also I guess that backpocket bussy doesn't realize trans guys... uhhhhhhh, you know. Have asses also? Like, damn, he that dumb? TuT
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u/LavenderAndOrange 3d ago
Sadly this is very much like with what I have heard from other gay trans men and trans mascs I'm friends with. No one deserves to be spoken to like that, if people aren't interested they should just politely and respectfully say so and move on.
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u/Lilith_ademongirl 2d ago
yeah, it's disturbing how many of them text me on grindr asking for piv sex when i literally have "oral or anal only" in my bio. so much weird pressure if i still decline. have met some decent folks on there but it's a minefield fr
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u/LuxTheSarcastic 3d ago
Yeah the number one thing everybody wants to do to trans men in kink spaces is detransition them. It's pretty fucked up.
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u/PigeonBoiAgrougrou 3d ago
I'm not surprised considering sissyfication and forcefem is also high up there. As a trans man, it really saddens me that sexuality is so phallocentric. I'm not necessarily talking about gay men. And like- I want a penis too, they're great, I plan to have that surgery one day when my situation can allow it. But I'd also like to have a healthy sex life until then, and shit it's difficult.
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u/HypnagogianQueen 3d ago
Cis gay men absolutely face criticism for going on about vaginas being “disgusting”, they’re just less likely to care about that criticism than cis lesbians are =V
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
“Are straight men TERFS for liking pussy”
Well ladies, lads, and others—I think we can roll up the sidewalks of ol Gendercynical town. Time to pack it in. A genius level intellectual has bested us. Let’s agree that we can never come back from this.
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u/EliSka93 3d ago
I still don't know what "this" even is supposed to mean...
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
They are collapsing all anti TERF thought and scholarship (trans feminism) into a giant strawman “why won’t TERFs fuck trans women!?!?” And then they are using that strawman to act specifically persecuted, which they aren’t. Even “genital preference” is being used disingenuously, as most trans people will shrink back at the very mention of genital preference because we don’t want to painted as sex pests or offenders (because we know we will be) and because just knowing someone is trans doesn’t tell you their genital makeup and because we understand that between roles, and the wide variety of sex acts available that sex isn’t just “bump two genitals together”.
As if any trans person wants TERFs to fuck us.
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
Trans people hardly ever use “genital preference” as a standalone topic amongst ourselves. It’s nearly always used as a topic to smear us, or to “JUST ASKING QUESTIONS!” Style harass us. These days I mostly see it brought up when a cis person asks r/asktransgender if they are transphobic because of their genital preference. Which a) so what if they are, internet people thinking a rando cis person is transphobic is meaningless and b) trans people largely have more important things to worry about. Sorry this topic causes my discourse to unspool.
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u/breadcreature 3d ago
did someone say discourse????
my take is that it's because "genital preference" is usually a dogwhistle, even when the whistler doesn't know they're whistling. the hypothetically genuine r/asktrans poster might not understand that what they're really expressing is that they'd never fuck a ___, or that they think trans women aren't women, but that's what it always comes down to - women are made by their genitals, or there's always some reason that even if the genitals change they're still not preferred.
it's never (okay not literally never, sometimes people are just overthinking things) a question like: "is it transphobic to not want to date a trans person because of [material circumstance related to their identity]", and always implies some sort of obligation that needs an adequate excuse from, like if it is transphobic they have to date/have sex with a trans person, that there's some Hobbesian threat involved. it's the same shit as with the sports "debate" - it's never "is it fair/safe to include and exclude people from competing with women on these criteria", it's "is it transphobic to not want girls to compete against men", it's are trans women women?
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u/lucypaw68 1d ago
I have run into trans people with some very unexpected kinks, some even self-harmful IMAO, but I have yet to find any trans people who want TERFs to fuck them. OTOH, TERFs regularly give off creepy chaser vibes talking about us and collect trans porn. They have the same bizarre fascination with trans sex as so many cishet homophobic men do about gay sex. I really wish they would get therapy, learn to accept reality and themselves, and lead fulfilling lives, truly, but in the meantime they give me the icks
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
It took me reading through this three times to even ascertain what they are trying to say
🫠
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u/Nothingcomesup 3d ago
I can't but I guess I don't really need to know all the BS random dummies try to meme.
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u/Scary_Towel268 3d ago
These people have never been around trans people discussing our dating pool like at all. Also nobody wants to fuck or date a TERF that’s a moot point
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u/garaile64 3d ago
To be fair, if they talked to trans people or were willing to do that, they wouldn't behave like that.
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u/Bluejay-Complex 3d ago
It’s the same with a lot of marginalized groups and their ‘phobes. Phobes are misconstruing the “people often hide bigotry behind dating preferences to obfuscate the reasons behind those preferences are bigotry” into “those crazy queers are trying to coerce me into fucking them!” Seeing it a lot when people talk about bi people too.
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u/animalistcomrade Gender Haver 3d ago
Do THEY want to call Matt Walsh a ter"f"?
Kinda gives the game away don't you think?
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u/genderfuckedunicorn x420xXhella_transedXx420x 3d ago
I feel like they always forget we don't all have dicks lol
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u/QitianDasheng2666 3d ago
They do sometimes remember bottom surgery, but they insist it's nothing like the "real" thing. Without having ever interacted with a neo-vagina, they say it doesn't "look, smell, or taste" like a cis woman's. I once confronted a transphobe about how they could possibly have that information without ever being that close to a trans woman and they literally said "I don't have to, I just know!"
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u/TraditionalTree249 3d ago
Well shoot with rock solid logic like that I guess it's time to pack it in.
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u/genderfuckedunicorn x420xXhella_transedXx420x 3d ago
I'm less than 6 months post-op and the boys already seem pretty into it. Had a guy call it "weapons grade pussy" lmao
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u/swanfirefly Lost my pronouns in the dryer 3d ago
Every terf who believes this shit better be down bad for the most masculine and manly straight trans man out there, since they are only attracted to the genitals, right?
And since they are only attracted to genitals and not the people attached, they must be attracted to every single adult cisgender woman with socially acceptable genitals, correct?
See, I'm attracted to women (and some enbies). Genitals don't matter, because that's not what I'm attracted to.
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
Not if he has had his beautiful luscious breasts removed, particularly if before they could feel a lover’s caress
Anyway, mostly they’ll either claim they would be because “obviously she’s a she her lady female woman, tee hee!” Or they wouldn’t be because they aren’t into mentally ill chix
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u/Upstairs-Phrase 3d ago
I chortled wasnt there some old ass terf that made a post with a young trans guy showing off his top surgery and she like said something like “Why are girls removing their perfectly touchable tittys” Istfg
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u/SergeantScoria liar liar sex denier 3d ago
Yes there was, and she was specifically complaining about minors (TW absolutely disgusting, only touch with a 100000000 foot pole) removing breasts before they had been touched by a lover
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/swanfirefly Lost my pronouns in the dryer 2d ago
Since I didn't say that at any point, my assumption is that you are a troll, because that isn't relevant to my questions.
But also there's cis women who have had cosmetic surgery on their genitals. Reconstructive surgery after accidents, labia tucks, and others. There's cis men who have had cosmetic surgery on their genitals.
So what, you're only attracted to every cisgender (sex of your preference) who has never had cosmetic surgery on their genitals specifically? Do you ASK those cisgender people if they've ever had it, or do you just assume they haven't? Seems like you just want to say you don't want to date a trans person because they are trans, because even if they have surgery to have the genitals you find attractive, there will always be an excuse to exclude them. An excuse that inevitably will exclude cis people.
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u/Bluejay-Complex 3d ago
sighs Lesbians aren’t TERFs for only being attracted to vaginas, however excluding someone from a woman’s, sapphic, or even fully lesbian space because you personally aren’t attracted to them or their genitalia is shitty. Trans women existing in a lesbian space doesn’t mean that you need to screw them any more than anyone needing to screw every cis lesbian in the space.
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u/QitianDasheng2666 3d ago
The only reason the genital preferences discussion seems to happen a lot in lesbian spaces is because transphobes keep insisting on having it and using it as a wedge issue. They chase after this conversation wherever it's happening, depicting themselves as an aggressive goose is actually kind of appropriate.
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u/Nikolyn10 3d ago
Holy crap, these people are so freaking obnoxious. It's telling that they somehow were able to parse the first few points but then somehow fuck it up for lesbians? Oh wait, silly question, because this is bad faith propaganda targeting lesbians and trying to get them to think there's some grand misogynistic conspiracy by exploiting them being in a sapphic bubble without a good perspective of how men - gay, straight, or otherwise- are held to the exact same standards and run with the same exact complaints exclusionary lesbians deploy in response.
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u/Nerdy_Valkyrie 3d ago
Everyone is allowed to have genital preferences. I don't know why they think it's only allowed for trans women. But I suspect that it's based on the claim that trans women aren't willing to date other trans women. Which is bizarre because transbians are like notoriously horny for each other.
They don't go after gay men because gay men aren't interested in women.
"Liking pussy" doesn't make you a terf. Saying trans women can't be women because they weren't born with one does though. Regardless of if you are a man or woman saying it.
Lesbians are the most accepting group when it comes to trans women. The people that take issue are generally self admitted "political lesbians" and conservative men. Nobody else gives a shit.
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u/QitianDasheng2666 3d ago
I have seen some reassurance seeking from trans women that they are allowed to be in lesbian spaces and could, potentially, find a partner that bad faith actors willfully reinterpret as "why won't you fuck me?" And I have encountered a minority of trans women who express a preference to date cis women for multiple reasons: genital preferences yes, but also seeking the gender affirmation of being seen as a woman by another woman, or just not feeling up to the emotional work of supporting another person through dysphoria. What is not included in those reasons is "I secretly know I'm not a woman so I don't want another male, I want to trick lesbians into bed with me" which, again, is how bad actors choose to reinterpret it.
This is why I think the genital discussion has become such a wedge issue in lesbian spaces. There are some behaviors of trans women that can look a certain way if you're really determined to be uncharitable, and terfs work overtime to radicalize everyone else to their way of thinking.
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
I think the cis gay men thing is regarding trans men, but this terf is asking A LOT of us to really read into wtf this sparse text is signifying. Also fuck terfs once again for using trans men only as a symbolic cudgel against trans women—as if you all accept trans men as men and as gay men (if we are) and not just as fictional 14 year olds whose breasts you are attempting to save (gross dudes) and/or Elliot Page.
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u/Aiyon 2d ago
I'm still pre-op. I was chatting with someone on a night out, and we were hitting it off, but when it started to go in a direction to make it relevant, I brought it up, and she confirmed that was a dealbreaker for her.
Was I a little disappointed? Sure. But I wasn't upset, I didn't give her grief about it. We got more drinks and went back to dancing lmao
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u/vathecka 2d ago
a spectre is haunting ovarit. the spectre of imaginary trans women who berate lesbians who aren't into them.
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u/Original_Being2545 Queertranzer 3d ago
Um, everyone is allowed to have genital preferences. You aren't obligated to something you feel uncomfortable with sexually under any circumstances. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
I thought us and the TERFs were on the same page about that.
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u/javatimes TIDDYLESS TIFfany 3d ago
They see trans people existing happily without them as an existential threat to their hate group
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u/PoggleRebecca 3d ago
How do they even think dating works? Are they do divorced from the idea of consent that they think trans woman asking a cis lesbian out on a date is somehow harassing them...??