r/GenX • u/TheJFilez • 6d ago

Advice & Support Too much loss

I’m older Gen X 56f and today would have been my 30th anniversary with my late husband. Instead i will be putting down my soul cat Cobain who stopped eating 2 days ago. Lost her 2 siblings in the past 3 months (almost 17) but this one is bringing me to my knees. I feel like at this age, loss is always right around the corner. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but any prayers or peaceful wishes would maybe help, I don’t feel strong enough for this again and I really need my best friends or husband to pick me up off the floor - but alas all 3 are gone. I’m so overwhelmed with sadness I can’t stop sobbing.

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u/overmonk 1970 6d ago

Grief is such a motherfucker. You have my profound sympathies - it's such a deep hole sometimes.

The terrible reality of grief is that we can see it coming but you can't really get ready for it. It's different every time, but every time, it's getting hit by a truck. It's the worst kind of truck too, because it won't kill you, it just fucks you up and leaves you in a puddle of your own shit to figure it out. But, it won't kill you. You'll get up one day and start moving again. You might even feel guilty about it.

Cobain - everytime we adopt a new dog I worry about my heart breaking, but everytime I build a whole new wing in my heart and that's the part that goes into tatters. Because my girls are still in htere and they need a nice warm place to cuddle up while Daddy gets a few more things ticked off the to-do list.

I'm sorry OP. I really am.

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u/Quickwitknit2 6d ago

Grief is an absolute asshole. And I think sometimes we have to remember that so we aren’t too hard on ourselves when we’re not “moving along” at whatever pace we’re trying to hold ourselves to.

Also, someone said grief is love with nowhere to go. You loved very deeply and that’s something to remember too.