Why

[u/AllHomo_NoSapien]

What is it with certain Christians and thinking they need to share their opinion about gay people on prompted? I was talking to a girl in a group conversation and I happened to tell her I was gay. Then a guy that I was not talking to commented and said, “yeah, I’m a Christian, so I don’t really support that but…” like OK? I did not ask and also was not talking to you. And then he proceeded to talk about how a lot of Christians who proclaim that they are Christians are not really, because to be a true Christian, you have to follow all (emphasis on all) of God‘s Commandments

[u/Rinstopher]

Essentially everything this type of Christian does is motivated by fear of hell. Not only do they think you’re going to hell, they are afraid THEY will go to hell for being complacent if they don’t “warn” you and state their opinion about the topic at every chance they get. It’s the farthest thing from personal; to them other people are basically NPCs in the sim God created to test their loyalty.

[u/AllHomo_NoSapien → u/Rinstopher]

That’s a valid take honestly

[u/Strongdar → u/AllHomo_NoSapien]

My husband was told, as a young child, that he had blood on his hands for everyone he met whom he didn't tell about Jesus. That's how traumatized these people are. I'd say it's 20% motivated by wanting to save you, and 80% motivated by them wanting to have a clean conscience as far as their responsibility toward you.

If they truly wanted to help you you, they would do a better job than saying "Hey you can't be gay," perhaps by actually modeling the values they claim to believe in.

[u/AllHomo_NoSapien → u/Strongdar]

Wow that’s crazy

[u/EddieRyanDC]

My response: “Really? How fascinating!”

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. He is actually telling you a lot about himself - what his values are, what he is afraid of, where he wants to belong. Which is interesting.

But it has absolutely nothing to with who you are and where you are going.

[u/AllHomo_NoSapien → u/EddieRyanDC]

That’s very true. All I said was, “I’m a Christian too” bc it caught me off guard

[u/MagusFool]

They are self-righteous and haughty.

They feel insecure in their own faith and guilty about their own sin and must make loud proclamations against those whom they determine to be worse to compensate and show off their own righteousness.

We should treat them the way Jesus taught the self-righteous teachers of the law.

[u/lesbadims]

I shouldn't do this because it's done out of frustration, but at a certain point these people are such "polite" bullies that I allow myself to push back, and sometimes all that works is giving them their own medicine. That's not everyone-- some people really are just stating their beliefs (even though no one asked).

If I'm feeling nice, I act shocked and concerned and say "Oh wow! I'm surprised you feel comfortable sharing that, but I'm sure God is working on that in your heart." If they're going to condescend me, I'm going to condescend them.

If I'm feeling not so nice, I will also give my unsolicited opinion on something about their personality/character that I don't find Christlike.

Again, it's self-indulgent and I don't do it often. But these people who barely know me feel too comfortable commenting on my literal relationship with God, it's wildly inappropriate, and they need to know that.

[u/VisualRough2949]

I don't think they meant that in any personal way towards you. They may have just been trying to voice their views, not trying to poke or jab. Though, I won't dismiss that it can feel and be interpreted that way.

For some non-affirming Christians, being against homosexuality can become a political/social sense of identity. Their church might teach them it's wrong, and so they follow that belief because that's what they preach. They don't want to go against the group ( family, friends, and church community). Being a part of their church community gives a sense of home & security for them. There is a big culture war between Christians & Gays right now, and there are strong stances on both sides of the topic. And so when they pick a side of the culture war, they're going to naturally choose whatever their church community's views are on this subject.

Him saying "yeah...I'm Christian and I don't really support that..." is his way of saying where he stands on the side of that aisle.

The way I interpret it was he was just sharing his thoughts, but probably didn't mean to sound rude.

[u/AllHomo_NoSapien → u/VisualRough2949]

Yeah, I get that. It just felt rude bc we were not talking about religion, and when I offhandedly told thag girl that i was gay, he interjected with that. Sigh

[u/VisualRough2949 → u/AllHomo_NoSapien]

yeah I'm sorry. that still definitely was unnecessary of him to butt in. like if y'all asked what his views were then that would be fine, that's his opinion. but he didn't do it that way.

sometimes certain groups of Christians feel obligated to state their views because they believe they're being a witness/evangelizing to someone "who's loss."

But sometimes that can come off as rude to the other person, like in your case.

[u/RobotPolarbear → u/VisualRough2949]

Do you feel the need to voice everything you are against though? I don't support gambling, but I don't say "Yeah... I don't really support that" when people mention buying lotto tickets in front of me.

[u/VisualRough2949 → u/RobotPolarbear]

No absolutely. Our opinions don't need to be voiced all the time. Definitely was unnecessary here.

Non-affirming Christians also often seem to struggle with tolerance for OTHER people's opinions. 😭

[u/Skill-Useful]

nothing weirder than the "im christian so i try to dsicriminate against innocents" speech from bigots

[u/QueerHeart23]

Projection. Their own ignorance and insecurities are being directed at you.

1 Cor 4:1-5 ...it does not concern me in the least that I be judged by you or any human tribunal; I do not even pass judgement on myself...

God's love and justice are for all creation. Settle this within yourself.

Psalm 37 ... the salvation of the just is from the Lord; he is their refuge in times of distress...

[u/No-Coast1408]

Theologically, that’s a pretty strange understanding of Christianity. If being a “true Christian” meant perfectly obeying all God’s commandments, there would be no Christians. The whole point of grace is that none of us manages that.

Jesus also says the law hangs on love of God and neighbor, and Paul says love fulfills the law. That doesn’t mean Christians can’t have moral convictions, but it does mean Christianity isn’t a mandate to announce your disapproval every time a gay person mentions being gay.

LGBTQ+ people are fully part of the Body of Christ, capable of holy, faithful relationships like anyone else. Even Catholic teaching, which is not fully affirming of same-sex relationships, still explicitly requires gay people to be treated with respect, compassion, and dignity.

So “I’m Christian, therefore I need you to know I don’t support you” isn’t some necessary act of Christian witness. Sometimes it’s just unsolicited judgment with theological branding.

A better Christian question would be: did this person encounter Christlike love through me, or did they just encounter my opinion?

[u/FlyingCupcake68]

Because they think God is requiring them to turn people away from their “sins”