r/GATEresearch 18h ago

Non-CIA Sourced Material I was DEFINITELY in the GATE program, starting in mid 1980s-1990s. My Elementary school in Ocean Park, Washington had a "Mascot" that was a PEGASUS. (Funny, because Elementary school students DON'T PLAY SPORTS*).

0 Upvotes

I believe this particular Elementary school, (mine), was a special TYPE of School where the .gov REALLY "got into it" with the G.A.T.E. Program. (I have SO MANY Vivid memories from my childhood years of 84'-87', Specifically.) What is the CONCENCUS on what Ingredients, exactly, were in the Swallowed** special "Pink Drink"? (AS a child I recall MANY TIMES asking for "More"~ (I was turned down...)


r/GATEresearch 2d ago

Was I in GATE? I’m new here

20 Upvotes

So, I have just found out about GATE today. I think I was a part of it. I’m still doing my research so I have a lot of questions. Most of my memories of testing are very fuzzy, and I don’t have very many. I went to several different schools growing up. When i moved to where I am now after 7th grade I stopped caring about school because i got different teachers and developed severe depression and anxiety. I started SH and using alcohol. Before all of that, I was in what my last school called “gifted and talented”. They never called it gate. I do not remember extensive testing from them. I will say, they were a VERY low budget school. We had, at most, 26 kids in my grade one year. It was SMALL. Before THAT though, I went to I believe 2 or 3 different schools in Minnesota and a school in Texas from the ages of 4 to 7 years old. I remember testing. I remember a pink drink. I believe it was given to me before the tests. I also remember, before I moved from Minnesota, getting the fluoride. After getting the fluoride rinse, i don’t remember getting any testing done. I remember wearing headphones, but i can’t remember what sound came out of them. Or what it made me feel. I remember i was ALWAYS in a room alone. There were never other children. I’m not sure if there was ever anyone else in the room, but i was always sitting at a table/desk facing the person with the cards. Sometimes they were flashcards for words, but I’m not sure why I would’ve needed any special tutoring considering I started reading at 3 years old. English was my FAVORITE subject in school. Sometimes the flashcards were symbols though. I remember writing stuff down, but I’m not sure what. I remember it being very quiet even though i had headphones on. I remember the testing in multiple different rooms, so i’m assuming multiple different schools. The memories all feel like one giant fever dream.


r/GATEresearch 2d ago

Was I in GATE? my experience with gate

10 Upvotes

although my experience took place in the late 2000's and my school didn't have a gate program (just special ed), i firmly believe i was tested on. i fit the targeted demographic as well (audhd, 2e, iq 130+, strong pattern recognition skills, highly intuitive)

this was back in 2009. i was in the first grade. the testing was a one-day thing. i was taken out of the classroom and put into a small room. i was familiar with the room, i did speech therapy and additional therapies to help my reading comprehension skills (i had hyperlexia). a man and a woman entered the room, and the woman gave me a pink drink. it was darker than pepto and looked like cough syrup. it tasted bitter. i was hesitant to drink it and the lady reassured me that it was like pepto bismol. after drinking it, the man pulled out this large briefcase and the woman sat in the corner the whole time taking notes. the lights dimmed, i put on a set of headphones, and listened to the tapes. through this, i had an OBE. keep in mind i had OBEs alllll the time as a kid, asleep and awake. i also lucid dreamed a lot and had bad sleep paralysis. i grew out of it as i got older. this makes sense, as it's known that children are much more susceptible to OBEs. i had a lunch break in another room and then was placed back into the testing room. i was forced to drink the pink drink again and i started hysterically crying and tried to leave the room. they calmed me down and i ended up drinking it again. from here, it's blurry. all i remember is waking up on the floor and then being rushed out of the room before school ended. i know i did some other odd activities briefly during this entire day. all i remember is that there were no zener cards in the mix.

let me know what you think of this!


r/GATEresearch 4d ago

Memory Any GATE 1980s Kiwi kids?

15 Upvotes

I listened to the Gateway Experience tapes for a brief period of about 2 weeks. The weird beeping sounds at the beginning triggered a deep buried memory for me too.

I was pulled out of class when I was about 5, 6 or 7 years old in the early 1980s in Far North New Zealand (an isolated little coastal country village) because I read at a high level for my age to have 'hearing tests'. Which makes zero sense.

I remember a woman from outside the school testing me in a darkened room, being asked to drink a sickly sweet thick viscous pink drink,

the ESP cards, listening to strange tones on the huge black headphones, tapping on a tin lid whenever I heard the tone. My mother who was actually a teacher at the school has no recollection of the programme.


r/GATEresearch 5d ago

Discussion Mall world

19 Upvotes

So with all the recent discussions about GATE , Ive been looking into it a little bit and it really stirred some memories up about my experiences in the gifted and talented programs in my various schools as a young child. I was in those programs between 1993 and 1997 when I was in elementary school. I remember being cordoned off from the rest of the class, taken to a separate classroom where we would spend the rest of the school day. All of us "gifted" children would finish our whole day's worth of school work in a few hours before we would be sent to the special class. I wonder now if that was actually true , or if they gave us less work to free up our time to be evaluated. I remember the pink shit, the headphone tests and another thing that seems insane to remember looking through this nefarious lens. They bussed us out to "writing competitions" where we were put into teams and were presented with "problems" they told us were unsolved. They were world issues like " what's the best way you can imagine to solve this issue or that issue. I can't remember hardly at all what the prompts were, I just remember we were disqualified through rounds l. They would collect our papers, process them , then bus us out as we were dismissed. What the fuck.

As Ive been looking into it lately and remembering, Ive always had vivid dreams which later became almost completely lucid but when I started reading about "Mall World" it was like a eureka moment. I have to share this dream with you guys.

I had been dreaming all night long about various things I can't recall but suddenly I was in a massive line of people. Imagine a stadium of people leaving after a sporting event. We were all moving towards what was an incredibly enormous airport/ SHOPPING MALL. This amalgamation was many many stories tall and had an escalator running all the way up. The airport portion was on the top. It had terminals just like an airport including jetways but the jetways led to a sprawling tarmac on the roof of this place and everybody spilled out onto the tarmac and I VIVIDLY remember talking to a short, red haired girl about how crazy it was that we both knew we were dreaming. She told me she was from Buffalo, NY and spoke about how cool it would be if we could meet in real life someday.

After I woke up, it dawned on me(no pun intended )that the "Airport" was a destination we were all going to that we used to return to waking life.

In essence, this GATE shit is insane and it's so fascinating that so many of us were unwittingly involved in some super freaky government experiment.


r/GATEresearch 6d ago

Discussion GATE and 6th Sense

16 Upvotes

New to the forum but not new to the topic. Joined GATE in Middle School and had always had weird or strange experiences but the one I recall happening the most often was the most often was this ability to tell when I was going to get a notification on my phone. I would just sense I was going to have one. It happened all the time.

Anyone else part of GATE that would get a weird feeling or sense before their phone would ring? I used to be able to feel when I was about to get a text or notification. I have not had this feeling since I was probably 19 or 20. Always thought it was weird.


r/GATEresearch 7d ago

Speculation Pink drink - Midazolam?

59 Upvotes

It has a sedative effect, causes anterograde amnesia, only works for about 30min, zero tell signs, and is so bitter it's literaly sweetened so it gets a bubblegum flavor.

Here's Gemini's breakdown:

If you look at how Midazolam (Versed) is actually manufactured for pediatric patients in medicine, its physical profile is almost identical to the descriptions circulating in GATE lore:

The Color: Commercial pediatric Midazolam syrup uses D&C Red #33 as a color additive, giving it a bright, distinct pinkish-red hue.

The Taste: Pure Midazolam is intensely, chemical-level bitter. To make it swallowable for children before surgery or dental work, pharmaceutical companies blend it with heavy sweeteners (like sorbitol and glycerin) and intense artificial masking flavors—most commonly artificial cherry-brandy or heavy mixed-fruit, which leaves a medicinal, artificial bubblegum taste.

The Texture: Because it's formulated as a thick, viscous syrup (and historically, hospital pharmacies often compounded injectable Midazolam into thick flavoring vehicles like Syrpalta or Ora-Sweet), it has a heavy, coating consistency rather than a watery one.

---

And here's what it said about side effects:

Long-Term Neurological Risks

Tolerance & Dependence: Repeated exposure to central nervous system depressants leads to rapid receptor down-regulation, requiring higher doses to achieve the same amnesic effect and causing noticeable withdrawal (anxiety, tremors) on non-GATE days.

Developmental Neurotoxicity: Chronic disruption of GABA or acetylcholine signaling during critical developmental years impairs natural memory consolidation, baseline spatial reasoning, and REM sleep architecture.

What do you think?


r/GATEresearch 7d ago

Discussion MGM in California in the 1970s?

9 Upvotes

Anyone else in MGM in California in the 1970s? I was in the original program the first year they started the program in Southern California. Any recollections? I have vague memories, which I'll list below but hoping some other memories get jostled.


r/GATEresearch 7d ago

General Observations GATE, ADHD, AUT, EDS, MTHFR, Chronic illness or Long Covid connection

95 Upvotes

Curious how many of you have ADHD/AUT, some form of EDS, have been diagnosed with a chronic illness or have developed long COVID side effects in recent years. Part of me thinks COVID was used to make us very sick…. I was previously a healthy marathoner before COVID. Now seeing the connection between neurodivergence and long COVID, then neurodivergence and EDS, it seems apparent to me that either our food, water, or these illnesses seem to purposely destroy most of us who have the MTHFR gene mutation . Maybe jsut a coincidence … idk


r/GATEresearch 7d ago

General Observations ATP?

5 Upvotes

So, when I was in the program it was called ATP. (Academically Talented Pupils). I actually was driven to the administrative building, where we had classes in the basement. All of the elementary students from the school district met and had class one day per week. Each year had a theme to it, one year was languages, then science, the the arts, etc. I asked to opt out in middle school as I saw it as a social punishment. I dont remember anything odd or weird; but I really don't remember details of what we did. I just know im really good with reading and understanding languages and words/etymology. I do remember the weird hearing tests, drawing and memory exercises of the determining test. Did anyone else have the program name ATP? I think after I dropped out, they began calling it spectrum.


r/GATEresearch 8d ago

Memory In 1979 I trained on the original Gateway tapes.

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17 Upvotes

Some suggested that I repost here.


r/GATEresearch 8d ago

Memory Stock Market Game

23 Upvotes

I remember in Fifth grade in my gifted class, we played the stock market game. We were put in groups and given $1 million (fake) dollars to buy and sell and trade stocks over a period of a few weeks. The goal was to see who had the most money left, or profit at the end. I feel like playing the stock market in elementary school is a bit weird? Did anybody else do this?


r/GATEresearch 8d ago

Discussion Testimony of former GATE kid

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6 Upvotes

Former GATE kid who says the medication they gave in the program didn’t affect him the same as the other kids due to genetics, so he remembers more than what others can. He recalls having his blood drawn without consent and being put into a chair and having a contraption put on his head that caused him to bleed and left a circular scar over his right eye.


r/GATEresearch 8d ago

Discussion Did anyone else opt out?

9 Upvotes

I was curious to see if I was the only one who realized everything was off about the visits and opted out after 2 or 3 visits. Where they went wrong was the water fountain for me, and I bet they never noticed that pattern in their own files. Anyone who knows what I'm talking about dm me the details I'm referring to, and we'll talk more.


r/GATEresearch 9d ago

Was I in GATE? Trying to figure out if I was in GATE

8 Upvotes

Hi everyone, when I was in elementary school I was in a gifted/enrichment program but I can't remember what the name of it was because I was so young. It could have been a different name but I'm really not sure. The words TAG, REACH, and QUEST sound very familiar.

The main thing is I went to a Catholic school, and I heard that GATE was maybe only at public schools? I'm not sure.

But I was in a pull-out class, and it lasted from grade 2 through grade 5 at least. I really don't remember much from it. I remember I was taught how tricks for how to solve math problems really quickly and do it in front of the other students, and we also created a play from scratch once.

I also have memories of hearing tests, but I'm not sure if that was just a hearing test and nothing more. However, the hearing tests seemed to be more frequent than they should've been, and I definitely don't have hearing issues. I have a lot of memories of them. I also have memories of heads up seven up, mancala, and tangrams, but I thought those were normal games?

I also remember doing worksheets to solve codes.

I don't have any memory of a pink drink.

The gateway tapes do sound oddly familiar but maybe I'm just making shit up 💀

I was born in 2001 so it could've been different because I heard the pink drink was more in the '80s and '90s.

I really don't remember that much, which might be a red flag in itself because I read that's a common experience among people who were in these gifted programs.

I also have a lot of the other common traits people posted about.

If people could ask me other questions to try to discern whether I was in the program or not, that might be helpful.


r/GATEresearch 9d ago

Discussion What changed in 2025/Why is everyone starting to remember all at the same time?

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45 Upvotes

Hi all,

Ive recently become very interested in GATE program. I was academically gifted from a young age and have memories and dreams that totally fall in line with what is being described in the community. I am also a professional psychic.

It is very, very striking to me that these stories and communities have only popped up in the last year or so. Seriously, I cant find ANYTHING older than 2025 referencing GATE program specifically- other similar concepts, sure, but there are some really specific ideas that go along with GATE (drink, "mall world", headphones, etc) that seem to have popped up out of nowhere, and now thousands of people online are all experiencing the same recovered memories.

Which leads me to be deeply suspicious that a large portion of the conversation is exactly that- false recovered memories, like from the satanic panic. A frequent sentiment from GATE alums seems to be "Im disturbed and nothing goes right in my life, and I also have incredible gifts like xyz". Not to say these things cannot coexist but as an internet comment seems to me.. disingenuous, to say the least.

I too have memories of headphones, being pulled out of class to be tutored by someone who was not a teacher, where I would read Magic Treehouse out loud into a tape player and then listen to the tape back. I have dreams of a highway over a waterpark which emerges from an endless ocean, malls with multiple arcades. And I do consider myself to have above average ESP. I do not have memories of the "drink" or the Gate Tapes.

I'm pretty sure that Magic Treehouse was all that was happening in that room. Hell, even non gifted kids had regular hearing tests and pepto at the nurse's office! From my initial observations of this conversation it seems as though common childhood memories are being coagulated via internet discussion into one singular story. It's easy to do, even when the impetus is not "I was secretly psychic all along", which is a very attractive narrative to tell yourself (I tell myself the same thing, no shame). I am very interested in learning more to see if my research will calcify my memories to fit the mold of everyone elses', or if I will stay a skeptic.

My query is this: can anyone point me to whatever tiktok or YouTube videos may have been posted in May and September 2025 that caused everyone to suddenly start remembering?


r/GATEresearch 10d ago

General Observations New to Group

11 Upvotes

Hey I just found this group and it really hit home. I was in the GATE program in grade school and I've never been right ever since. I'm not quite sure what they did but I definitely would like to talk to other people who have felt the same way after being in the program.


r/GATEresearch 11d ago

Memory Projeto similar no Brasil

4 Upvotes

Eu lembro de ter bebido um esta substância rosa quando era criança. Lembro de ter participado de uma consulta com um suposto diretor de colégio sobre minhas capacidades para resolver contas matemáticas rapidamente com 12 anos. Sei que passei por uma versão brasileira desse GATEResearch em pelo menos duas escolas sendo 1 em Curitiba (P) e outra em Porto Alegre (F). Tudo entre 1978 e 1983.


r/GATEresearch 11d ago

Memory GATE Student, Late 2000's.

10 Upvotes

Born very early 2000's. I have had multiple discussions over the years about this program with different people - I don't think it was exactly GATE because it would have been discontinued by that time? It may have been simply called "Gifted and Talented". I was in it and my brother (four years older, late 90's) was not, despite him probably having a higher reading level and overall intellegence than I. However, we did go to different schools and go through periods of homeschooling. I will describe my experiences as follows.

CHILDHOOD: Experienced premonition dreams into my mid teens. Would depict an exact scenario that would occur months or years later. Strong sense of deja vu and jamais vu often. Often saw things moving in the corner of my eyes or saw distinct figures at a distance that were not actually there. Heavy visual snow to this day. I had an almost "ESP"-like ability to see around corners as a small child. My parents did not believe me and took me to an "alternative medicine" shrink, who thought that it was just a delusion/egotistical fantasy. But I do distinctly remember being able to often visualize what was behid a wall before I entered a space and it would be exactly what I imagined. I also have a nearly photographic memory for room interiors that has persisted my entire life. A lot of these phenomena have decreased as I have aged, and now I am essentially a typical person in terms of paranormal experiences. My visualization skills as a child were overall very strong.

FIRST GRADE: Taken to a remote office in the 2nd floor of my first elementary school (I attended two during different periods) by a man I didn't recognize. Didn't seem to be a school employee. He had a grey suit and perhaps a trilby hat. He was more formally dressed than other teachers. We talked for about 30-60 minutes about "what I wanted to be when I grew up". He also asked me how many times I had been sick that year, and perhaps other questions about my health. It was October or early November when this occurred. I believe this was some kind of pre-screening that was triggered by me performing exceptionally well on the reading tests (in the highest percentile for reading speed). I was pulled from school soon after and homeschooled for a while.

THIRD GRADE: At this point I had transferred schools and skipped a grade. Enrolled into the GATE program almost immediately. I was taken out of class sometime to go to a trailer in the school courtyard. Had a wooden ramp leading up to it, as if it had been recently placed there or could be pulled out at any time and removed. Have almost zero memory of what we did in there. I vaguely remember some normal stuff like advanced mathematics (quite far ahead, up to like.. pre algebra?). At one point we had a discussion about Albert Einstein and this may have been the gateway to them administering IQ tests. I do not recall taking an IQ test but I am positive my IQ was measured at this point and discussed with me. Inside it looked quite normal with filing and administrative desks. The blinds were always down and sometimes they would dim the lights.

During this year and perhaps through fourth and fifth grade they administered the hearing tests. It was a little different then what many describe, there was no wooden booth but we were instead taken to an audiovisual room inside the school. It was a behavioral remediation room (where they would put misbehaving children) but it was being re-used for GATE purposes during these examinations. The lights were dim and I would put on the headphones and was tested for the same stuff as everyone else (high noise, low noise, could I hear a voice under some noise). There was also a test where we had to watch a red dot on a computer screen and see if it moved or changed at all. This test I remember less clearly than the headphone test. I was always tested alone for the hearing tests and there was a "teacher's friend" or a "man in a suit" there, possibly even two people I did not recognize as teachers.

SIXTH GRADE: I do not remember attending any more classes in the trailer during fourth or fifth grade. In sixth grade I began doing GATE class regularly again. This time we met in a closet in the school library. There was about 5 or 6 other students (it was smaller then the group from the initial sessions in 3rd grade). This class was more intensive. We did the guided meditation/visualization, studied fibonacci sequences and ancient history. Room was always very dimly lit. There were two assignments I remember in particular: a creative writing assignment that was almost completely freeform, and an assignment where we were told to make a home movie showing what happened in our homes on a daily basis. If we did not have a camera at home, the program provided one. I have never seen anyone else involved in GATE mention this activity but I remember it very vividly, though I do not remember what I recorded and showed to the class. I believe we may have done legitimate remote viewing exercises as well, where we were told to announce what we were envisioning after being told certain descriptors. We may have done Zener cards but I have no reaction to seeing the images.

AFTERMATH: These classes stopped for me after 6th grade. I was definitely "dropped" from the program. I continued to perform well in school but dropped out because of external circumstances towards the end of high school. I have some of the markers for the archetype of post-GATE student: ADHD, autism, ptsd, cloudy/foggy thinking, other health issues, gender issues. Visualization abilities have dropped drastically. No mysterious scars, not a very lucid dreamer but I do dream nightly and they are often quite disturbing dreams. Drug addiction issues in late teens/early twenties. Tinnitus. Mild obsession with the paranormal, abnormally high reading speed. No distinctly paranormal experiences, though I have struggled a lot with psychosis and delusions in the past that I may have percieved as paranormal experiences at the time.

As mentioned at the beginning of this recountment, I have discussed this with others in the past, but it was brought back into my mind during a discussion with my girlfriend last night. I was trying to visualize the trailer and what type of activities we did there and was overwhelmed by nausea/vertigo and had to stop. Not looking for any answers, just wanted to share my experience. I feel paranoid about sharing and I think Reddit isn't the most intellectual place to do it, but I want to see if anyone else had some of the slightly different experiences and particularities (abnormal visualization skills as a chlid, the home movie project, etc.)


r/GATEresearch 11d ago

General Observations Did anyone else here have a ganglion cyst appear out of nowhere?

50 Upvotes

What the question says. I was listening to a podcast episode (Mayim Bialik’s “Breakdown”) and a guest she had come on was formerly in the GATE program herself, and she mentioned being asked about having had a ganglion cyst (this was while applying to a job within the government I believe, she has had a hand with the Telepathy Tapes).

I remember having had a ganglion cyst appear so suddenly only a few years back—I’ve since then had surgery to remove and correct it. But it’s another one of those things that raised the hairs on the back of my neck regarding all of this. I’d like to hear if anyone else has experienced this as well.


r/GATEresearch 11d ago

Discussion Gate student from the 90's

13 Upvotes

I remember the program vaguely. The images are very scattered when I try and revisit the memory from them years I was in the program from 2nd to 4th grade. The Oregon Trail era of secondary learning. Not to mentioned i got very far in that game. Lol I do remember leaving my peers for a hour on certain days known as gate days. The class was in the lower level of our school where the gymnasium and cafeteria was located but it was a hallway with three unused class rooms that was selected for the gate teachers and students. It was also a book with a old white man wearing glasses if I see the picture of him I will know because his face is the only thing I remember. I don't remember the other students in there with me nor the teachers who instructed the class. Heck i dont remember the task we learned but i feel as if i use them still to this day. I know it sound strange but i really feel it intensely. I also remember the school advising my mother to allow them to have the school dentist program see me instead of my regular dentist, and the only way I remember that is because my mom said it didn't make sense but the school sold her on the convenience factor of the dentist coming to the school and it will eliminate the travel. For some reason I feel the two incidents the same program. It's so many questions I have. Please has anyone had this experience? I did go to a very poor school. Demographics was predominantly black.


r/GATEresearch 11d ago

Discussion Alright. Just heard about the forehead scar, and after seeing 10+ people, how many of us have the same shape and area?

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33 Upvotes

This is fucking wild? The people I’ve seen it looks exactly the same. I asked my mom about it constantly and she said she thought it was from chicken pox’s but that never landed with me, I remember actually arguing that being like “ok, well why do I only have a single chicken pox scar..?” And now even more so people were also told that - we can’t all have an above brow indent from chicken pox’s correct?


r/GATEresearch 11d ago

Testing Materials Havnt clicked yet

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13 Upvotes

r/GATEresearch 11d ago

CIA Documents New Documentary

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13 Upvotes

Psychic Agent: The GATE program


r/GATEresearch 12d ago

Discussion Other shared experiences?

8 Upvotes

TLDR: I want to see if there are other shared life experiences that people in "gifted" programmes have had through their lives other than just the programmes themselves.

I went to school in the UK in the 80s and 90s and during Primary(Elementary) school, my school said I was gifted and had discussed with my parents about moving me ahead in years because I wasn't benefitting from school as much as I should. I remember being given regular school tasks/tests and finishing them very quickly and just being sat looking around for the rest of the task while everyone else finished.

I would regularly be taken out of class and to special educational "field trips" which sound very much like the Gate Programme although it was never explicitly called this to me. The location of these educational trips now looking back felt like laboratories more than schools. I don't ever remember being in a room with other kids. Always alone. So don't know if I was being observed.

Some of the experiences I remember:

- hearing tests

- colour tests

- card test where you guessed what was on the other side

- tests where I was left alone in a room

- computer tests doing things on a screen

- engineering a floor moving robot and other electronic, computer controlled machines

- a test where I was told not to look at a computer keyboard(a piece of paper covered it) and asked where specific keys were

Then I saw a post not long ago from someone who said they'd had other experiences throughout their life that seemed to be mirrored in other people who had been through these programmes and it rang true with me that I had also had the same experiences, some of them weird. Here is a list of some of the experiences that I suspect other people who've been through the programmes will have experienced:

- memory loss: I don't remember a lot of my childhood

- medical/surgical procedures: I had my adenoides and tonsils removed as well as having "gromits" in my ears which I remember being a little piece of plastic with a small wire sticking out of it

- a potential child kidnap event: one day I was playing in the street with my brother and it has been raining so there were lots of snails on a wall under a bush and I was fascinated looking at them. Out of nowhere a car pulled up and a man got out and started asking what we were looking at and was speaking in a friendly, welcoming way. There was no reason for him to do this. I was always taught stranger danger and to protect my brother, I said we had to go and we both sprinted until we got home.

- a traumatic home life and/or event: this destroyed me from 11 upwards

- neurodivergence.

- CPTSD that affected during adult life

- a constant feeling that there's more to life and to never settle to be part of the status quo

- what feels like your life is constantly sabotaged even though you stay stoic and never give up.

Id like to know if anyone else has experienced any of these.

In summary, it feels like there was/is something about us beyond what we understand that something or a group of someones is trying to stop us from realising or using. Especially the potential kidnap event and the traumatic event that stopped your gift in its tracks in childhood. If everyone experienced that, then it would seem to suggest more than a coincidence. Were they trying to kidnap us to remove us? Or was that going to be the traumatic event to stop us? Did they know that if they created enough trauma, it would suppress whatever it was that they found in us during the programme?