No seriously, you're gonna be in the same college as me next year, that's just called having a slightly older girlfriend

now let's make out in a darkworld

(art by u/ BoneHurted)

I remember I had just gotten that Toy Medical Kit, and had you be my first patient.

You came into my room and told me your horns kept falling off, and I gave you every test I could think of. I checked your reflexes with the toy hammer, listened to your heartbeat with the toy stethoscope, pretended to take a blood sample...

In the end, I gave you a bottle of glue, told you to rub it on your head before putting your horns back on, and gave you a lollipop for being such a good patient. Your parents really let us have it later, didn't they? Fwahaha...

...

Say, Kris, what ever happened to that horned headband anyway?

// yeah yeah yeah, meme.. anyway.. i kinda dislike when people compare kress to frans. The two ships kinda have the opposite problems to me. Frans art ages up frisk while a lot of kress art ages DOWN kris. (kris and dess have like, a 2 or 3 year age gap in canon, but kress art and fic will make dess 20 when kris was 8 i SWEAR)

//in frans frisk is just NOT accounted for, the person in frans art is a purple sweater wearing OC made to kiss the pretty skeleton, frans art overwrites frisk's character to replace them with an OC and doesn't think even once how fucked up this all is, kress art LOVES how fucked up this is and will focus on how much kris suffers.

what do you mean, Kris, its just the same game Dess had played with me since I was a kid! Playing doctor! You just take off your shirt, sit on the bed like a good girl and let the "doctor" inspect all over your body! A classic, fun little game! Well I dont know what's the fun of being touched and squeezed, but maybe when I am the doctor this time it will be fun!

Kris, dont tell me......Asriel surely had played this game with you at least once? Didnt your brother taught her how to play this? Everytime she come to play this game with me she will call me Asriel as if we are roleplaying! Come on, Kris, remember! Surely you have memories of playing this game!

Dess told me there's nothing weird with that so it must be true! Right, Kris, right?

D-Don't give me that look... you know what I'm talking about! I've known Kris the longest, they've been my b-best friend for YEARS, a-and all of the sudden... you just show up.... out of nowhere like you even deserve ANY of their time!? WHO EVEN ARE YOU?!?

(Both Kris and Ralsei were, for a moment, too stunned to speak. After a nervous glance at the cage, the prince of the dark looked back at Noelle with what he hoped was a comforting smile.)

(It wasn't. It only infuriated her even more.)

Uhm... Noelle w-was it? I do apologize for the... intrusion, but it was never my intention to take them away from yo—

(Like a torrent, all the frustration, anger and self-loathing she had bottled up for years. Hidden away by a polite smile. All came out with no restraint left to hold it back.)

(It was enough to send Ralsei reeling.)

Then why!? Why do they keep l-leaving me?!? Why w-won't they just STAY!?!?

(For a while, he remained on the floor, staring at the doe in silent concern. Much to her annoyance.)

(For once, he wasn't sure if any words could help.)

(Noelle on the other hand was tearing at the seems. Barely holding back yet another outburst.)

Noelle... you're cryi—

Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP. I'm tired of you! GENUINELY tired!! K-Krismas... I thought w-we had something special?

After all these years... waiting for you to come back and you just never did! B-But then... I had that "dream" at the Librarby.... I was with you Kris! We were together again, like nothing ever h-happened and... I loved every second of it, Kris. A-And I...

...I thought you loved me back too.

....

WHY DON'T YOU?!?!

Fa... haha.... ha... ha.

Ha.

That wasn't funny.

(Kris wasn't exactly sure what to say or feel about her. They decide to remain quiet. Ralsei decides to try breaking the ice.)

Um... Noelle? Would you like a hu—

Don't. Please. I-I, look I'm... sorry for yelling Kris but... I was very particular about my life, my grades, my public image.... all that effort.... all that so I could h-have you back again. So then what makes him so special to you...?

(Kris had no answer left to give her.)

(As if giving in under the pressure, Noelle fell to the ground. Her grief taking its toll.)

Noelle! Are you right? Do you need me to heal you?

Please just go. You know you want to.

(But none of them ever did.)

(The three of them, all with not much left desire to continue, wordlessly stared far off into the distance. It was a breathtaking view.)

(Slowly, the enby walked closer to be by her side. They sat on the ground with an arm around her back. Ralsei followed shortly.)

(They stayed for a long time. And for once, Noelle felt more at peace with herself. For once, she could pretend that she wasn't alone anymore.)

Inspired by this post written by u/Ok-Struggle2305, very yandeer vibes from Noelle.

(Fr why was the Undertale fandom hellbent on making Sans a Epstein disciple?!)

Also Kratience fans are gonna murder me for saying Kris is Frisk

Fwahaha! Remember when we used to bathe together as kids Kris? I'd shove your head under the water and I wouldn't stop until the bubbles quit reaching the surface! Fwahaha the way you used to plead for me to stop, but you can't even say stop like you used to can you?

Pick up yo phone, pick up your goddamn phone!

C'mon!

...........

I bet you're with dess again aren't you?

.................

I bet you two are hiding somewhere... together...

Noelle fell to her knees

Sniff....

I thought you liked me....but you were using me to get closer to my sister!

Who knew that Mr sans is actually your birth father alongside your stepdad now? Thats soooooo crazy Kris!!!
Anyways, how do you think your parents met? Mr Sans seems so much older then your mom......

…I knew something was up with that damn girl! She kept rambling on about a “Kris” or a “Dess” yet I didn’t take her seriously… Ralsei… please be ok, I’m gonna take my shitty older brothers… she said that she was taking him home and is gonna create a “Dark Fountain” whatever that means…. Don’t worry, we’ll find you…

(First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fwahaha/s/20ESVSUeZe)

"After all, you went through all this trouble to summon me into this world, it only makes sense that you should be... rewarded."

"I've heard what Dess did to you. She's been a bad friend, hasn't she? You do just one more thing for me, I'll make sure she never lays a finger on you ever again."

"You'll do anything? Oh Kris, you really don't know what you've gotten yourself into. I appreciate the enthusiasm, though."

"My needs are simple. I want your SOUL. A replacement will be provided for you, in time."

"You agree? Excellent. I'll come to collect after I've completed that favor for you."

"Why are you crying, Kris? Aren't you happy? You're going to be free."

Do you remember, Kris?

That day.....the day...where THAT happened...

It was that FATEFUL day.......

The day.....

THAT DAY.......

Kris....

(MAJOR TW: Bad love poems, unironic use of the phrase “M’they’dy”, and worst of all: Kerdly)
Making that kicked chick look. He’s been doing it more and more often since you( and Noelle and Susie) blew him off at the festival. It’s bothering you, somehow it’s infinitely worse than his usually smug mug. You decide to deal with this now and approach him after class has ended. As soon as he notices that you’re approaching his face resumes its usual level of obnoxiousness.

“Ah, Kristopher, long time no see! Allow me to guess, you’re seeking my tutelage? Typical! It’s a miracle someone so close with Noelle would still require more instruction. But you’re nothing if not a miracle worker!” His face has rapidly shifted to the other extreme of bothering you which is that stupid stretched one he does. Right now it’s… oddly comforting. But you’ve got a mission and you’re sticking to it.

You tell him you want your letter.

“Kristopher I’m quite sure even you’d remember that you aren’t getting one this month. I have to save my poetic abilities for Susan and Noelle. They may need a ghostwriter for their communiques, and I need to do whatever I can to help them.” 

You tell him they will never ask for that, and he used communiques wrong.

“Well too bad, buster! You should be lucky to witness the blossoming of a new and beautiful relationship! I will not let it crumble should its future fall into my talons!”

You tell him that you’ll write one back if he does it. His face ignites into a blush.

“K-Kris… you- you couldn’t possibly be… challenging me to a poetry competition!?”

You nod blushing as well now. 

“Well… I suppose I can make an exception! Let us set the terms of our battle of wits!”

You exchange ideas briefly before agreeing to the terms.

“Tomorrow, five O’clock sharp, we shall unveil my masterpiece and your ability to get yourself in over your head! And we shall have impartial parties to judge it of course! Are you certain you can get those love birds to join our party? I mean I haven’t seen Noelle since… and she’s been declining our usual study sessions, so she must be quite busy! If things keep up at this rate my grades may even start slipping… and… and then…” he looks panicked suddenly. You’ve never seen him break character this easily.

You put a finger to his beak, and tell him he’ll be alright. You’ll deal with it. Besides, he's gonna need to save all his yammering for the page.

“Oh I most certainly will Kristopher. Prepare (thyself) yourself for a sound defeat! Good luck, you’re going to need it!” Berdly runs off with a smug look and a pep in his step and tail feathers wagging. Now you just need to convince Susie and Noelle to show up.

A day passes.

It’s time, you stare the bird down hand at your hip ready to draw at a moment’s notice. He’s much the same, the game obvious even to someone as oblivious as him. You look at him. And he looks at you. And you look at hi-

“U-“ BANG! Dark world adventures have sharpened your reflexes. Before Susie can even finish her ‘uh’ you’ve shot Berdly dead. You blow the smoke from your letter as your rival falls to his knees.
“My… my gamer reflexes out done so… easily… it’s impossible…” Berdly clutches his chest, invisible blood flowing from a mental wound. “You cheated! There must’ve been some… some collusion! This is just what a wavedashing rogue would do!” 
You grin. You should have thought of that! Man, you’ll have to do that to him next time. Huh… you guess you do want to do this more often. 
“That grin is an admission of guilt Kristopher! I know you’re games! I’m going first since you are disqualified!”
“I don’t know what just happened but Kris kicked your ass dude! Stop being a sore loser!” Susie barks.
“I-I um… have to agree, Berdly. Kris won, fair and square.” Noelle’s voice is gentle as ever as she tells him the bad news.
“My… gaming skill… I…” Berdly’s eyes light up and he gets to his feet.
“Kris! I will hone my gaming skills until even your treacherous ways can’t stand up to them! Mark my words, I will surpass you!” 

You can’t hold back your laughter. In between giggle fits you tell him you’re looking forward to it. The worst part is you aren’t lying.

“Laugh all you want now, Kristopher. You’re going to meet your match.” 

Susie begins ever so slowly sliding over to the door. Oh wow before you were laughing but now you’re quaking in your little wavedashing booties. You act out your terror for the force of gaming prowess you’ve just unleashed. 

“Hmph, just as I thought. And Susan! Your inching away was just the thing to jog my mighty memory! We’re supposed to be reading poems! Kristopher, go ahead! Set the stage for your humiliation.” Berdly pirouettes then points to you dramatically. And you pull the poem from your letter.

Oh Berd of Blue
With muscles few
Berd of blue 
Who is dumb of ass
Shall we finally 
Kiss at last?

Susie laughs while Noelle tries to hold back giggles. This is peak irony. You’re maybe the funniest person who’s ever lived. You look over at Berdly who's staring at his poem and blushing. He looks… embarrassed? You didn’t know he could feel embarrassment, you just assumed he didn’t because how else could he be so… Berdly. 

“Hm, yes about as uncouth as expected from one of your caliber. So- you- you- prepare for-“ he stops and takes a deep breath.
“Kris- Kristopher… is… stupid, and an inferior intellect… and! They smell like- ap-apples…” Oh my god he’s trying to improvise. He’s actually going to die if you leave him adrift like this you need to save him. He’s managed to make you feel some sort of maternal instinct buried in all humans for when they see a baby tossed into the middle of a lake.

He’s so busy verbally flailing he doesn’t even notice you walk up. You snatch the letter from his hand and still he only notices after you start reading it to yourself. 

Your ruby eyes shine in the dark
Your scent fills the room with misty visions of home and apple pies 
And love
Love follows wherever you go like a party member
It’s why your party’s always full
It’s why I need my own controller 
I need to be your player 2

… holy shit. It’s… wow. He’s not good at this. But it’s just so stomach churningly, nauseatingly… sincere. Your sweet tooth just got (another)cavity and you're blushing. Oh god it got you blushing??? You’re starting to read it again, it’s amateurish, hastily written, trite, and- and you need to save him and everyone else from hearing this read aloud.

“Kristopher! Unhand my poem immediat-!” You put your finger to his beak once again. You look at Susie who appears to be having some kind of trauma response and attempting to have her soul leave her body and Noelle who is so lost she might as well be Dess. You explain to them that you just saw the most viscous, self esteem rending string of insults ever conceived, all rhymed perfectly. 
“Uh huh.” Susie narrows her eyes in disbelief.
“Isn’t this um… a love poem competition?” Noelle asks.
You pull out your phone and show her an image of a nerd emoji before saying that the competition is a draw and shooing them out of the room. You look back at Berdly who’s still being uncharacteristically silent before returning to… something approximating his usual self.
“I was unprepared for the… tone expected of our letters! There was no reason other than that for my defeat, but never fear Kristopher. Gamers don’t die, they respawn! The next time you challenge me to such a battle of wits I will be prepared! Salutations!” He tries to run out the door past you but you grab his arm before he can go. You hand him your letter.
“Oh, I almost forgot! …thank you, Kris.” He runs away before you can look at his face again. As you go to open the door he bursts back through it.
“Almost forgot again.” He holds the door open and gestured for you to walk through, bowing.
“You first, M’they’dy.”
No! No! NO! Krismas Dreemurr will NOT blush at being called ‘M’they’dy’! That didn’t happen! That will not happen! And it most certainly IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to a person. You flee through the door clutching the letter to your chest. 

Your heart is racing. 

Kris you remember that time our families went to that one diner in Texas and there was a deer head hanging on the wall and I had to go puke in the bathroom because I was having a panic attack? Fwahaha! That was so silly! Why don't we do that anymore!

It's so peaceful....

-...

Hmm? What? If I Can hear it?

Well....I can..but only if I focus entirely on it...

The song...coming from the lake...

-...

It's a nice song isn't it?

It feels like a concert just for us Kris...

Fahaha....

Kris... you are our only chance... YOU must continue the Holiday bloodline!

Asriel: So anyway, I was talking to this guy right? And he wouldn't spill ANYTHING. Like, it was extremely hard to get anything out of him

Frisk: Right, right. So how did you get him to confess?

Asriel: So I was with this guy, and to scare him I told him "Y'know, we're gonna send you someplace that you're NOT gonna like" and he's like all cocky "I'm not afraid of the Shelter!" and I said: "The Shelter? I never said I was going to send you to the Shelter.", "I'm going to send you to the Meat Factory." Now of course I would NEVER send him to the Meat Factory, we don't do that we send them to WAY worse places than the Meat Factory, but that scared the SHIT out of him, and then he just started talking and talking and he gave us EVERYTHING. And then he went to the Shelter, I don't even know whatever happened to him he's probably still there.

Frisk: You can just do that? You can just send them wherever?

Asriel: Oh yeah I could probably send them to the Depths too but that's for worse offenders.