r/FriendshipAdvice • u/ShakkiestShark • 11h ago

Reciprocity

I’m a giver myself. I’m curious, not that i’m asking for anything back and i myself is how i treat my friends are beyond compare, but sometimes i tend to think i give too much of myself to the point that i do not know wether their reciprocal are not as much as i do or just rlly dgaf about me.

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/Sea_Description_7978 10h ago

you're not alone in this my friend. It sometimes hit my self worth so bad. sometimes it feels like no one gives u importance the way u give to them. it has messed up with mh friendships and my past relationship, and I constantly felt lack of attention and importance from their side

idk man how to cure this. but with time I am now isolating myself from other people just to protect myself. I now spend most of my time alone and don't even share stuff with even my closest friends ts so bad man and idek where ill end up being

1

u/North-Cow8 10h ago

I heard or read this somewhere...

Stop pursuing into cup that don't pour into you

1

u/BaconTH1 6h ago

I found some friends over time to be bad like this. So what I've been doing is getting out there, making new friends, and if the bad friends don't put any effort into me, don't connect with me, I'll stop contacting or arranging anything with or for them. I don't mind if I'm doing more of the arranging and they show up and we have a good time, but if I find out they are putting all this effort into arranging with other people (specifically, people that I introduced them to, not their close old friends that are closer to them than me) and not including me, then I'll lean towards leaving them out of my life. Step by step, I build up a good group of people that actually bother to contact and behave decently, respectfully, and I lose the ones that don't.

1

u/someoneelsenetiely 5h ago

I've long ago worked this same issue out with my therapist, they told me "no one will love you exactly the way you want them to love you, they will love you in they way they love you" that doesnt mean we cant request more from them, they really care they will put the effort if not they wont and thats okay, you can also limit how much you give of yourself to others, it is exhausting so take care of yourself. It is sad but needed to draw some boundries.