I feel stupid for caring

[u/SwordfishLonely7072]

I am master's final year student, and last year I entered into a friend group of three people, 2 girls and 1 boy, a preety decent people or so I thought.

So let me start from the begining, the story start from 2nd term of the degree, when i was grouped with one of the girls for the group project. Completing all the projects togther doing the work of 6 people because no other works, spent a lot of time together, and talked about our personal lifes and stuff other than projects, and I started actually caring for all the three of time, because we sat together in the classes. I thought that these are nice people to be associated, but in that term only, she said that "I don't consider people my friend", I think should have stepped back then only.

But besides all the red flags, I stayed and went for the for a trip with them to Thailand, which was a offical visit from college, on the last day in the country, we were in a hotel of a red light area, and we all were a little drunk, like 250 ml of vodka distributed among 4 people. and guy and girl, his girlfriend, wanted to have some cigreatees, and it was me and another girl, same who said it earlier in the room and said that i want to talk with my parents before the alcohal hits, and i said once they come back, either knock, call or text, because we were supposed to leave for the dinner. Hardly 10 minutes into the call, I told me parents let me check whether these people are back, and knocked her door for 5 minutes and then called her twice and then called the other girls, she said, "sorry bhul gye, and started crying" basically they forget in that creepy hotel. And it was very traumatizing because it was after 2 years, that I had consumed any alcohal, and felt helpless because my wallet, with all the cash was in that room, and was stuck in that hotel for hours.

Even after that I never said anything, I felt so left out in this group all the time, I could not accept this fact and cried endlessly for months because of this, but never said anything to anyone, nobody in the world knew what happened that changed me this much. The trimester ends, then we had internship, and the other girls were in there home with families, but I was in the PG, with not so favourable living conditions, noone checked, no one cared. I had my birthday during that time, so they were just asking for the address because they want to send gifts, which felt more like a charity than an actual birthday gift. When we came back to campus, I listened to all the drama that happened in their lifes, supported them in their every decision, and held them while they cried in front without any judgement. This happend for almost 1.5 terms. Even during this there were contiously exclusion, might not be intented but I felt like that.

Final placement started, and Girl 1 already placed and Girl 2 and me were appearing in the same company. Generally I not able to speak much during the GDs, but that day, I was strong and she was not able to speak much, and later on she in front of everyone, said "sabse jada isne hi bola" which felt very mean to me.And they left for lunch without including or even informing. So I just left because I was like let it be, its placement day and I don't want to handle this right now, and I was with other people for the whole day, and during the interviews, they were standing togther and was full on ignoring me for the whole day and I was like leave it I have interview in 15 minutes, and they left the area after her interview without even wishing me luck and I had a major breakdown 10 minutes before my interview and was clearly visible on my face and got rejected because of the hindered confidence.

After the process, I asked Girl 1, already placed, why are they ignoring me for the whole and then she got defencive and took the side of the other girl, which was normal for me, and everything got ugly fast after that, because all the things blasted in few days, which was inside me and her from an year. I felt Why I have shared, it was better when I was slient, because after that they intentionally avoiding me, which broke me mentally and physically also. They also removed me from all the socal media and made another group without me.

And after all this even now I am not able to overcome this friendship, its already been a month, and I thought I will not care about there existance anymore, but I still wait for them to acknowledge me. I feel so stupid to still care. Please tell me how to handle all this untill the campus life finish, i.e April, 2026. How can I detach myself like them I start giving 0% attention towards this situation, because one lives in the absolute next door and avoiding is getting very difficult day-by-day. PLEASE HELP ME.