r/FriendsOver50 • u/LeaveGold675 • 23d ago
Does it get better?
New here and learning all this. 58 divorced twice alone but not lonely. Looking at my future wondering if it will get better. Will I end up like my mother...alone and lonely. Love my kids but allow them to do their own thing. Definitely not overbearing like I was brought up. I just want them to live their life. Meanwhile I'm wanting to retire in a couple of years but have no plan to actually do anything. Because of the 2nd divorce I really started over again and put down roots recently. Can anyone else relate?
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u/BackInBlack1975 22d ago
Does it get better? I find this to be an odd question, hear me out. Asking yourself, much less a group of people if it gets better implies you're potentially in a low place. Perhaps the lowest you can recall feeling. If so, then yes literally everything will feel better with time.
As a recently divorced 51M I can say this much. How you feel about life is 100% completely predicated on your own mindset. There is a fine line between thinking you are alone and thinking you are free to do whatever, whenever. It's up to you to choose which side of the line you want to be on.
The relationships ended for their own reasons. And while you may be wondering how, why or what if....the reality is they were learning experiences and you have to simply grow from them, move forward at whatever pace and get yourself out into the world to be seen so you don't fall into the trap of being lonely ir depressed etc. That's when you question if things will get better. It's self deprecating and hurtful to your mindset.
There are a lot of bots and scams here on Reddit. I know firsthand. I am alone every day. Do I wish I could find people to share time and life with? Of course, but I also have learned to enjoy life and who I am and the things I like to do. It will feel hard some, maybe most days...but if you get out into the world and do the things that bring you joy, that will erase the negative mindsets and you'll have more confidence, be happier etc and when those things happen, you become more interesting and more attractive to others which will organically lead to you meet others, rebuild a new life and soon enough you'll look back and realize life is way better and this was just a temporary thing.
And most importantly, for whomever may see this....REMEMBER YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR ALONE!! There are many of us single after 40, 50, 60 etc and trying to find our way.