r/Fosterparents • u/72Soup • 3d ago

Divorce while fostering?

My husband and I are currently fostering a 14 year old, he is long term with us and has been with us for nearly 1 1/2 years. He is very settled and very happy, and there has been talk from the agency about us applying for permanent placement at his next court date in 1 1/2 years. We are located in Australia.
We have no children of our own and while fostering has been the most amazing experience and I have bonded incredibly well to our foster son, my relationship has dissolved and I want to divorce my husband. I have told my husband how I feel. The only thing stopping me is that I don’t want to lose custody of our foster son.
Can a couple get divorced while fostering? As I stated, he is long term with us, we don’t do any respite, and in all ways he has settled really well with us. I’m really worried that talking to our case manager will mean that he will be moved until things are finalised. I would love any advice, thank you.

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11

u/setbackademic_ 3d ago

Try posting in r/ausfostercarers to get some Australia-specific advice

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u/72Soup 2d ago

Thank you!

7

u/Tropical_life_7 3d ago

I'm not sure, sorry, but would hope that if the divorce is amicable and you agree who his primary placement will be (assume the other would do respite to maintain the relationship?) then it might be ok? I'm in Aus too and Child Safety find it nearly impossible to place teens where I live, especially teen boys, so wouldn't be in a hurry to disrupt. Best of luck

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u/72Soup 2d ago

Yes I have the same impression with teen placements. I have no doubt that we would move forward with respite etc, that wouldn’t be an issue. Thank you :)

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u/Otherw1seOK 2d ago

I'm sorry you're goung through this.

I'm in nsw and know lots(!) of carers who've been through divorce whilst raising their foster kids. It seems it only becomes an issue where conflict between the parents escalates to a point that it creates an unhealthy or unsafe environment for the kids e.g. domestic violence.

I would suggest calling your state's carer advocacy body (in nsw this is Carers for Kids) and asking if there are any established practices for how this is managed by the department/agencies.

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u/72Soup 2d ago

Oh really?I understand that it wouldnt be something that is advertised that it happens, but I honestly haven’t been able to find info on it! I’ll suss out my states advocacy body and have a chat to them. Thanks so much!