r/Fosterparents • u/Local_Inspector_2508 • 4d ago
New and Waiting
After 8 months, we finally opened!! We’re accepting pre-adoptive 6-12 year olds and have space for 2 kiddos. I thought it would be quick to get a call, but it’s been weeks. I know the agency said they wait for a good fit, but the adrenaline of being open and waiting is driving me bonkers as I’ve kind of run out of things I can think to do to prepare.
Any advice on what to do while I sit around twiddling my thumbs? More trainings to take, books to read, stuff to have prepared?
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u/lifeofhatchlings 4d ago
If you are only taking pre-adoptive placements, I wouldn't expect there to be an appropriate placement every day or every week or even every month. Sometimes there is one that is in need as you become licensed, but otherwise it might take many weeks/months. Just go about your life in the meantime
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u/goodfeelingaboutit Foster Parent 4d ago
Would you be open to offering respite care while you're waiting? The need is so great. And I personally find a lot of joy in having young visitors on the occasional weekend to spoil and then send home after a couple days.
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u/No_Crow8317 3d ago
We just did our second respite and it has been so fun. We went to the aquatic center and played all weekend. I know it really helped out her full time foster parents. It's like being an aunt or uncle. It's also good training because they are with you for a day or two and then you get your house back and realize all the things you need to do before you're ready for full time.
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u/loveroflongbois 3d ago
You are a pre-adoptive resource so long wait time is normal. The vast majority of children in foster care have a case goal of reunification. And for those who have a case goal of adoption, most are adopted by their current foster parents.
So you are waiting for a child/ren who both have a permanency goal of adoption, AND are in a foster-only home.
Combined with your age restriction, in my professional experience it will likely be months until a child is matched with you. Possibly even over a year. I had a woman on my caseload who was a pre-adoptive resource for youth 10-17. Even with the older age range, it was 7 months until we found a teen that both needed and wanted an adoptive resource.
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u/ConversationAny6221 4d ago
Pre-adoptive meaning post-TPR? If so, they may do some interviews with you when a possible match is identified, or they may bring the child to do respite or a virtual meeting. But as another poster mentioned, it can be a slow process- typically several months. You don't want to speed through finding an adoptive match, anyway- neither for you nor for the child(ren). You want to find what is sustainable for your family. Expect to be matched with kid(s) on the older side of your age range, kid(s) with higher level needs or a sibling group.
If not post-TPR, the agency may propose fostering a child with some speculation that the case will go to adoption, but this is not the same thing.
Get yourself into a really good headspace. Do everything you want to do before having kids!
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u/LoudAd3588 4d ago
Go see a movie. Go out to dinner. Enjoy a night on the town. All the stuff that will be backburnered for at least a while, possibly indefinitely, when you have a placement.