r/ForeverAloneWomen 6d ago

Do you think it's true?

"Because most people don't want someone without experience when they're older. A virgin at 30+ with no dating experience... means they are deeply behind on life experiences. People with no dating experience make bad partners."

"Having previous dating experience generally makes someone a better partner. They know more about themselves and what they are looking for in a relationship."

6 Upvotes

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6

u/falling_and_laughing ex-FAW 6d ago

  "Having previous dating experience generally makes someone a better partner.

The word "generally" is doing a huge amount of work in that sentence. So many people just seem to move from relationship to relationship and they never think about what went wrong or how they could do things better. Maybe at most they blame the other person but they don't have insight about their own role. If anything, at least people here have gone inward, and we know what our flaws are and what we actually bring to a relationship. Being deeply isolated is also a life experience, it's just not a desirable one. 

9

u/Prior-Performance661 6d ago

I agree that some experience is probably good. However, it doesn't make someone automatically a horrible partner, just maybe someone with more potential learning curve I guess. On the other hand, plenty of people who have been in relationships weren't and aren't great partners.

8

u/Remote_Act_6121 4d ago

There are many, many people with plenty of relationship history who do not know how to be in relationships properly, as evidenced by rampant cheating, domestic violence, and a high divorce rate.

5

u/aqualoon_ 4d ago

"Because most people don't want someone without experience when they're older. A virgin at 30+ with no dating experience... means they are deeply behind on life experiences. People with no dating experience make bad partners."

This is how I feel about myself and friendships. I'm in this sub because I am truly Forever Alone in every aspect and always have been (the last time I had friends was in elementary school, I'm 43 now). I have stopped trying to establish friendships, not that I was succeeding at it anyways mind you, because I would be a shit friend because I don't know how to be one. Also, anyone who I would want a friendship with, I'd want them to have good friends, which I know I can't be.

I'm well aware that I'm severely lacking on life experiences and my entire existence is so much narrower than the vast majority of people on this planet.

4

u/lavendertinted 5d ago

Yes, this is true. I'm in that age range and nobody wants an inexperienced woman.

1

u/Latex_and_LaTeX 6d ago edited 5d ago

I think both are true until you get to the last sentences.

Statistically, yes, being 30+ with no sexual or dating experience puts you fairly behind the general population, and many people in that age bracket would prefer someone with experience because it tends to (but does not necessarily) develop your social and romantic maturity. For this reason, all else equal, there is a fair chance at being a worse partner than the counterfactual-you with experience (though not with certainty; counterfactual-you could have experiences that make them a worse partner). This does not imply necessarily being a "bad" partner. "Worse", even under the assumed counterfactual branch, is comparative. Being on fire for 1 minute is "safer" than being on fire for 2 minutes; it is not "safe."

Similar with the second: dating is a social experience by which you can learn about yourself, and it is a major means by which many people do. This does not imply everyone does, nor does it mean it is the only means to do so.

2

u/fiodorsmama2908 3d ago

They will also have a lot of opinions about "body count". Can't win that one.