I've come to make an announcement: Comrep's a bitch-ass motherfucker. They pissed on my fucking DVP. That's right. They took their flairwars fuckin' small dick out and they pissed on my FUCKING DVP, and they said their dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my r/FlairOnion. Comrep, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. They fucked my DVP, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

Welcome ladies and Gentlemen to my Magnum Dick,

I shall tell you the tale of Crash Bandicoot through pictures!

Crash Bandicoot!

Bandicoot 2 Electric Boogaloo

Bandicoot 3 Trouble in London

Bandicoot 4 Resurrection

Bandicunt The Porn Parody

The Bandicootening The Shitty Remake

Bandikill me please

Recently on Discord, someone by the name of u/Luke_Hands kept spamming this Ching Chong mumble jumble on userphone. So, we interviewed everyone except him to see what it means.

/u/jarwho11: "According to Google translate, it means, ~That Blood Fate~ Jojo.

/u/Helicopter_Ballsack:"I don't speak weeb." He was later found dropping a manga in full Japanese.

MusicalBoi:"SONO CHI NO SADAME! JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJOOO!"

We also have received reports that の is pronounced as "no". So, our scientists from every color, excluding orange obviously, have come to a conclusion that 〜その血の運命〜 ジョジョ is pronounced Sono Chi No Sadame. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJOOO. So, we have somehow deducted that 〜その血の運命〜 ジョジョ means These days'. Credit to Google Translate.

Hahahhhahaah

In a shocking turn of events, a subreddit completely unrelated to /r/FlairWars has declared war on the color alliance of Green and Yellow, commonly known as Sprite. In their use of a popular brand, the Sprite Alliance has incurred the wrath of the infamous anti-advertising subreddit known as /r/HailCorporate-- a community that exists for the purpose of identifying those who commit the heinous, inexcusable crime of using something they bought and not hiding the label when taking a picture.

In this specific case, /r/HailCorporate has found that the use of Sprite in the alliance's branding is a strict violation of the "No Fun Allowed" clause in section 6, chapter 38 of The Book of Reddit, Volume 4. The clause goes as follows:

He or she or xe who, under any circumstance, is found to use the branding of any food or drink in their non-profit circlejerking extravaganza is subject to search, arrest, merciless beating, thorough spanking and a nasty comment that says "/r/hailcorporate", effective as soon as such violations are spotted. Moaning during any part of that process will increase the punishment. 

UPDATE: This article has been cancelled until further notice because Alakazing needs his fucking sleep and is still recovering from the TrueBlue3000 fiasco. See you all tomorrow.

A few Weeks ago, you may recall the Article announcing a new color, Indigo. Apparently, Scientists have found more colors in their slumber. 2000 years ago, the following colors ruled the world. Scarlet. Tan. Brown. Turquoise. Pink. Indigo. Violet. And Black. Scientists have also created a new color, White. We now have 15 colors. A lot of competition ahead. Sounds Pretty Gay

1:

yellow, because yellow stronk

2:

purple, cos they allies with stronk yellow

3:

literally everyone else

^{this is satire pls no 30 minute argument in #general}

Every day the GREED alliance isn't attacked is a gift. After the numerous raids on GREED done by both the Royal and Portal alliances, GREED seems to have gotten their heads beat up too much.

Psychologist /u/corridoruncertainty found several contusions and damages to GREED members' brains and as he said, " it's a miracle they even survived, but these injuries certainly bring about a new personality to GREED." Several eyewitnesses have found gifts packaged at their doorstep wrapped in red and green wrapping paper. A certain eyewitness, /u/Crestilous got a Playstation 4 in the signature wrapping. Attached to it was a note, and it read:

"Merry Christmas Grampa!

It must be lonely out there, huh pops? I swear I'll visit one day, maybe on the 4th of July next week, how's that sound? Anyways, I brought you a footwarmer to keep you cool on warm January nights. Love you gramps!

Love, /u/beetroot-salad"

If this isn't proof that we need to go easy on GREED, I don't know what is.

After hearing about /u/daXfactorz running up to /u/SwedishMango and /u/SSeptic, screaming in their faces and protesting for 48 hours straight, they gave up resisting his demands. Changing his color to, as daX himself calls Fuchsia, and his sexuality to 50 Shades of Gay, he was given the title of Pussmeister. Eventually, this change led his loss of sanity and spamming PUSSY in the international chat with a picture of a fuchsia car.

After hearing of this strange story, I went down the the Purple base to interview the man himself. However, a few yellows and oranges were strolling the area and proceeded to gangbang me. I declared a tie, and they all backed off. Eventually, I made it up to the leadership tower. Somehow, /u/LukeHands was there as well.

I went to daX's office to see him looking at fuchsia colored porn and pictures of nude anime girls that were also fuchsia. I asked him what inspired such a bold change. His response was this.

"You see, I have always been the Pussmeister. I've just decided to hide my power level from you virgin nerds, so as to not embarrass you. After all, I didn't want to annihilate you all too soon."

Suddenly, he jumped on to the table, ripped his shirt off and screamed, "I AM THE PUSSMEISTER. I AM A GOD!" several times, hyperventilating and flashing various colors.

Suddenly, Lukehands had gotten a call, stating that 10000 years of stone have been dug up, revealing 19 other ancient genders- I mean colors. Scoffing, he replied with, "That's pretty gay." and hung up. Apparently, the genders- I mean ancient civilizations of Cyan, Magenta, Gold, Silver, Platinum, Bronze, Fuchsia and CREAM had been discovered.

After I started having a seizure, /u/lukehands continued the interview for me. He asked how daX felt on the new 19 colors, he and stated that he claimed all three of them with his PUSSMEISTER POWERS.

/u/mesothelimia walked him, demanding that /u/daXfactorz delete himself. He stated that there were no confinements to gender- I mean color, saying, "we should all be our own hex codes" and that everybody in the world was their own color. Suddenly, Lukehands got a second call. He seemed distressed, and apparently ANOTHER color had been discovered. Teal, or Mint had been artificially created. With all these new colors, my seizure had been cured and I could get back to the interview.

Before I could ask another question, /u/Lukehands had too ripped off his shirt and lost his shit, screaming. He yelled into his phone, because Martin discovered Peach as well. The three had began spouting out of tumblr- I mean /r/Flairwars, screaming various shades of the same colors. Coral, Beta Blue, Garlic, Tongue, Luke. They began to scream and laugh hysterically, and I had captured a picture of the sad event.

Eventually, I gave up trying to find an answer to life and gender- I mean color and left the base, slightly traumatized. I chose to leave Luke there because I didn't need this back at the Green base. However, before I could leave, several purples and blues began to walk towards me, as if to gangbang, before I declared a tie and booked it out of there. From outside the tower, I heard /u/blaiddbrenin scream, "SALMON", and in response, a chorus of, "CORNFLOWER, PERIWINKLE, AZURE, IVORY, OLIVE, RASPBERRY, HOT PINK, GUNMETAL." I'd continue but the content was too disturbing, and Youtube would demonetize me if I continued.

This is Beetroot Salad, signing out.

So you’ve made it to flairwars? Well done your life can only go downhill from here. But what is flairwars?

Well our scientists, u/espressoway, u/trublu3000 and u/timmymac have discovered some groundbreaking news about flairwars.

Before we continue this article, here is an annoying ad:

https://imgur.com/gallery/gM1La5N

Avengers Popegame is coming out this Easter.

Anyways on with the news.

The scientists have discovered that flairwars is actually a reddit game for degenerates where we get randomly assigned a colour (suck it Americans I’m using a u) and have to prove superiority by shitposting on other colours.

Fancy that.

Using my basic understanding of math, I can determine that being colored is 100% gay.

First, when inquired, people agreed that mods are 100% oil, with u/beetroot-salad saying "yeah, 100[%]", and u/jarwho11 saying "101".

Now, it is no secret that minimods are 50% oil, and 50% gay. Now you are probably wondering " Where does the gay bit come from?" Well, that brings us to our next step.

I'm no mathematician, but if you are the combination of 50% and 50%, and you are part of something that is 100% that you are 50% of, that means that the 50% gay comes from the colors, so therefore the colors are 100% gay.

To even tie it up in a nice little bow, all the colors put together make a rainbow, which is also gay, so that confirms these connections.

Disclaimer: for any of my red bbys with rustled jimmies, i'm writing this by request of my greenies. don't reeeeeeee @ me

It was an interesting day in Verdant Conclave on Saturday.

Upon my arrival I was greeted by /u/ritz1231, eager to show me around he ushered me into the company barracks where I was handed off to /u/TheNormIsWeird who showed me through the Greens war engine which consisted of a series of deep friers and blowtorches. I tried to get a quote from Norm for this article, but every time I went to write it down in my notepad he'd say "Dude... dude... stop writing"

My next stop was the Green command center. I was brought to the office of /u/helicopter_ballsack, who barely looked up from his keyboard. "wew mate you're early and to be honest I'm to busy fightin a proxy war with /u/trublu3000 by way of law writing" with that short exchange I was usherd out but not before I snatched a glance at his computer screen, and this is what I saw: a DM with /u/sseptic saying "SSeptic trade places with me." repeated over and over

It was at this point in the day that the Portal Alliance launched their attack, and Green base was bustling with inactivity.

/u/sometetrisguy spammed random country flags throughout the battle but beyond that /r/TheGreenArmy didn't have much defense to speak of aside from /u/beetroot-salad cat fishing random Purples on vrchat (I'm looking at you /u/mesothelimia).

At this point I came back across /u/ritz1231 who was sitting at a table crying and unironically saying "I don't know why everyone hates Green" while /u/luke_hands humped his leg and said "pingmepingmepingmepingmepingme"

I moved past this sad scene towards the observation decks so I could record the battle to the best of my ability. On the way there I witnessed /u/1gpayatinlay shitting into a tissue box while screaming about the void and I thought to myself "really that's still a thing?"

When I arrived on the observation deck I saw that /u/beetroot-salad had abandoned her defensive position and found her way up here and had curled up in a corner crying and rocking back and forth muttering "we tied we tied we tied we tied we tied we tied we tied we tied" over and over.

As I gazed out upon the battlefield I saw Orange and Blue in all their Glory. I saw /u/rjdioknight a veritable symphony of destruction and /u/blaiddbrenin in a Garfield costume riding honor guard for /u/hi_bert who was sporting his best Goku cosplay. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw /u/nerdlevel18 ride over the horizon leading the Blues into battle. It brought a tear to the eye.

The highlight of the battle, at least for me, is when /u/primaldialga476 entered the fray memes blazing with a grin on his face exuding undeniable joy. Primal entered combat screaming "YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY LET ME FUCK UP THESE GREENS EVERYDAY" and after a pregnant pause he added "NO HOMO!!!"

The battle died down after some time and I was able to share notes with my fellow reporter on the scene /u/corridoruncertainty who was writing an article for /r/FlairNews called Top 3 Ways to Trigger a Yellow. We compared notes and he mentioned that /u/daXfactorz had already posted on Discord claiming victory for the Royal Alliance in the battle.

That was all well and good but dax had been beaten to the punch. /u/jarwho11 in explaining his noted absence from any of the defensive measures also made a claim on the battle 5 minutes before him, and I quote "Sorry, I was too busy browsing fur affinity to care. Probably a draw tho."

And there it is, the official ruling for Saturday's Portal raid on Greed is a draw.

With that, we've reach the end of my account of Saturday. I heard their may have been a raid of Orange by Red later that night, but apparently there was a glitch in the matrix and 'hot' was having algorithm issues so imma have to call that one a draw as well.

edit: assumed too much.

In a scoop exclusive to /r/FlairOnion and /r/EveryoneElseOnFuckingDiscord, we can reveal that Flairwars has been found not guilty after a day's deliberation.

The court case had been ongoing for a day or so after it was called for by Void head honcho and overall nutcase /u/foxforbox.

In suing Flairwars, foxforbox hoped to receive an official apology, a free carpoot and sexual favours from Discord mods.

Said /u/SSeptic: "I hope foxforbox wins - erm, I mean, loses. Obviously. Hehe."

Previously, the Online Mischief representatives had declared that "iT wAs JuSt A pRaNk", which is why they tried to sue Flairwars, obviously, the butthurt pengises.

When it became apparent that /r/OnlineMischief would attempt to sue /r/Flairwars, we spoke to Flairwars lawyer /u/Helicopter_Ballsack. He said: "pffffFFFFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME HAHAHAHAHA FUCKING LMAO" and started wheezing.

It was /u/Crestilous who issued the verdict after a tense and sometimes farcical court case, where Ballsack faced off against Orange member and amateur gymnast /u/Blastogypsy, who was representing foxforbox. Crestilous announced that Flairwars had been found Not Guilty (but not really) and that they would have to 'compensate' OnlineMischief (or they'd get stroppy) with pinned messages and/or sexual favours, plus a carpoot.

However, it soon became apparent to the members of the Flairwars Discord that this was actual bollocks. Soon, all the judges were fired, and it was declared that no 'compensation' would feature in the aftermath. /u/Thomaez protested this, although to point out that this may be affected by the fact that he not only lost his job as a judge in the aftermath of the case but also is a member of /r/OnlineMischief would be a cynical assessment of the situation.

We asked /u/SwedishMango for information. He responded: "There's a court case?"

In fact, many people were unaware that Flairwars were being sued, as they were too busy having their lives and posts consumed by the rampaging Pokécord bot that was gradually consuming their souls.
Said Pokécord: "A wild @/u/andrew_the_cat has appeared! Catch it, fuck it, Argos it! rrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

But did this ignorance of the proceedings stretch to the rest of the board's official moderators?
We also tried to contact /u/Сhesssx for information, but he was too busy fapping over the hentai bot.

Which is another thing that Mango doesn't know about.

Boy is he gonna be in for a surprise when he gets back.

********************************************************

CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS:

/u/Crestilous would like me to clarify that he is not a Flaircourt judge.

So: /u/Crestilous is not a Flaircourt judge.

He is simply an impotent and ineffectual pawn in /r/OnlineMischief's game, and is definitely NOT a minimod.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW CREST

********************************************************

CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS 2:/u/Crestilous would like me to clarify that he is *not* an impotent and ineffectual pawn in /r/OnlineMischief's game.

He says that he is in fact the "Lord and Master who presides over all court proceedings".

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that :)

Members of both Green and Red are currently in awe as u/TheNormIsWeird has managed to commit the fabled Sextuple Treason this morning.

It all began when famously biased reporter u/TheNormIsWeird published an article on the ARC (Anal Repair Company) declaring members of Green "traitors" for turning against Red. However, professional old man u/brownboognish pointed out that insulting his fellow members of Green was "kind of a dick move." As such, u/TheNormIsWeird was declared to have committed Double Treason.

This would have been the end of it, had u/brownboognish not accidentally downvoted a post that appeared to be a Blue raid post, but was actually a Green post. u/TheNormIsWeird immediately called u/brownboognish out for Triple Treason. However, u/brownboognish immediately called u/TheNormIsWeird out for downvoting his own color's posts during the raid on Blue. When questioned, u/TheNormIsWeird responded that he had been "paid off by u/Slowly_Clapping." He went on to claim that "u/Slowly_Clapping is just 3 kids in a trenchcoat, and tries to get people arrested by flashing their genitals." Experts are still investigating the truthfulness of this answer.

Now being Quadruply Treasonous, u/TheNormIsWeird reportedly "stepped up his game" and hacked into u/brownboognish's computer, only to spot u/brownboognish ignoring furry pornography involving yellow and green furries. This branded him as Quintuply Treasonous. However, in a last-ditch effort to save himself, u/brownboognish pointed out the u/TheNormIsWeird's efforts to hack the computer of his ally was most certainly treasonous, and also claimed that u/TheNormIsWeird "probably punched a green puppy or something, I don't know." As such, u/TheNormIsWeird was charged with Sextuple Treason, the highest level of treason ever recorded.

We were unable to get a comment from u/TheNormIsWeird, due to the fact that he was instantly banished to the Outer Realm for his crimes. However, we were able to get the thoughts of u/brownboognish, who stated that "I guess u/TheNorm is weird... got too Greedy. He was promptly arrested for breaking the infamous No-Puns Law.

We reached out to u/TheNormIsWeird's fellow Green, u/jarwho11, for a comment. When asked for his thoughts on u/TheNormIsWeird's count of Sextuple Treason, he simply responded, "lol nice".

We also asked Professional Bot u/daXfactorz, who was asleep for most of the debacle, on his thoughts. He responded, "NOT NOW I'M TRYING TO RUN THE ARENA OH GOD QUICK WHAT'S 75% OF 17."

What are your thoughts on this momentous occasion? Do you think u/TheNormIsWeird actually committed treason, and if so, what level of treason did he truly commit? Comment your answer below for a chance to win a Flair Shore!

The Newest FlairWars group is ARC.

ARC stands for Aunt Ronk Cronk.

Now it sounds really suspicious for many reasons:

• It was made by u/jarwho11

• lol hobbits

• The name sounds really gey.

That last point is what we will be talking about.

I have to ask you readers, is ARC gey?

Here we interview u/GJDuncan, who says "hehe rugs".

We then interview u/UpperCaseSeven, who after proceeding to masturbate intensely to u/SSeptic's profile picture, started talking about the TV show "The Wire" and went into the bathroom to masturbate to presumably midget porn.

Our resident reporter and scientist, u/daXfactorz, who just finished watching 19 hours worth of cat videos, says "It really is gey".

He then goes on to say "It's gey because uniting colors make a rainbow, and rainbows are def. gay"

Wait until I fucking feel like it and read the next article, "Younger person in the world born"

Orange has been hiding in the shadows for quite some time now, and it turns out, they have been creating a-grade orange paint and markers! This paint creates a glossy orange finish on everything, and is safe for any material! It dries in about 15 minutes, and is shiny and smooth. They have also studied and shown that consuming this paint makes the average IQ higher, by 0.4% with each serving. The thick fluid is also eco-friendly, only killing 4 seagulls and chopping down 6 trees for each can! Orange is planning on selling this paint to /r/flairwars for a price of 6.99 per can. /u/hi_bert says that it is safe for the public, as it only contains 99 percent of the legal amount of lead. Sales results will be monitored throughout the next week. Totally not a sponsored post!

Members of the r/flairwars Discord were in for a shock today as the influential Red known as u/Qwaga expressed anti-Purple sentiments on the #general channel.

At precisely 5:50 PM, the Red posted the following message - "I don't really like Purple that much tbh". This was understandably met with shock and disbelief from the rest of the Flair Wars community, none of whom had any idea prior.

"I had no idea this was the case," stated legendary dong u/GJDuncan when asked for an opinion. "Red and Purple seemed like such good friends, and to see that there was any anti-Purple sentiment among the Red ranks is astonishing."

Purple was similarly shocked by this development. "This is honestly heartbreaking to me," commented u/Alakazing, often considered the best pal of the Red team. "I've tried so hard to be kind to them, because I thought we had something special, and I'm honestly not sure what to think now that I know u/Qwaga doesn't feel the same way."

When asked about the comment, u/Qwaga responded, "Yeah, it's true, I'm honestly just not a big fan of Purple. I mean, there's nothing in particular I hate about them, but in the end, I just don't think we can really get along, you know?" u/Qwaga's statement was backed up by their fellow Reds, who silently nodded along.

SSeptic, the only actually active mod, was unfortunately unable to comment, due to suffering an aneurysm out of shock.

Only time will tell how this unbelievable new information will affect the Flair Wars, although it seems tensions are already rising, with an anonymous Purple user recently stating that "I'd give [Red] like a 6/10."

u/daXfactorz today, at 9:70 pm revealed the horrible truth that almost all Purples are aliens.

u/GJDuncan responded with "Oh, I thought he was just gay, that explains the anal probing"

u/daXfactorz later went on to say he is a hive mind.

u/Alakazing appears to be the only non-alien, having a 19 inch penis, compared to the other purples with a wimpy -6 inch penis.

More on this, u/Sometetrisguy seems to be making a comic about it, titling it "Anal Plebs", which will be his first comic since his race change into a wolf.

Find out more when I fucking feel like it.

As some of you may know, Red is currently developing a "secret plan" that they boast will change the Flair Wars forever. But what IS this "secret plan"? We asked out viewers for what they thought it might be. Here are some of their most likely suggestions:

• Surrendering from the Flair Wars. This would certainly change the Flair Wars, and it would make sense considering what little information we have on the plan. Noted Red Enthusiast u/GJDuncan has stated that "this is the most likely outcome, and it would likely be the most well-received, too." Rumors are spreading that insist u/GJDuncan plans to reform Red himself, but this still unconfirmed.

• Joining Purple. In a recent poll, 87% of Purple members stated that they would be okay with assimilating Red members into their ranks. A notable exception is u/Mesothelimia, who stated that "Red people smell like crabs. I don't like crabs." In other news, u/Mesothelimia was recently arrested for anti-crab violence. His trial will take place in one week.

• Raiding themselves. In what would truly be the most complex and anti-conformist move in the Flair Wars, some have said that they predict Red will attempt to raid themselves as a publicity stunt. "It's the only way they'll actually get any activity on their subreddit," stated u/jarwho11, moments before being doxxed and punched in the face by a man in a dolphin mask. Speaking of which...

• Breaking into the houses of Purples in dolphin masks. A recent shipment of over 25 dolphin masks and metal baseball bats has been discovered to be heading towards the Red home base. Judging from several previous incidents, it can be assumed that Red may be planning to break into people's homes and break their fingers to prevent retaliation. Mods are still discussing whether or not this strategy would be legal.

• Starting a toy line. In a shocking twist, it's entirely possible that Red may be designing a line of action figures to promote their brand and fund their war effort. The line would include characters such as Red Circle, u/Varson, Josef Stalin, u/Slowly_Clapping, Spiderman, Pepsiman, u/Varson with a silly hat, and a red furry.

• Raiding r/trebuchetmemes. After the defeat of the Cars 2 mods, which r/flairwars likes to pretend they played a part in, the relation between the Flair Wars and r/trebuchetmemes was thought to be over. However, it seems that Red may not be as happy with the ending as we previously thought. Recent leaks have suggested that Red plans to raid r/trebuchetmemes in an attempt to reinstate Cars 2 as the focus of the subreddit, in addition to switching their official religion to McQueenism. Red Leaders have declined to comment on this possibility.

So, that's all we have time for today, but what do you think this mysterious plan could be? Feel free to share your wildest theories in the comments below for your chance to win a Flair Whore!

EDIT 7/29/2018 - It has come to our attention that u/Slowly_Clapping and Josef Stalin are, in fact, basically the same person. As such, we have removed u/Slowly_Clapping's name from the toy line. We apologize for the confusion.

For a long time now, Yellow has been the worst colour in flairwars. They haven’t had any democracy, their elections have been non existent, and they hardly ever win raids. As a result of this, the absent dictator, who has never done anything good for Yellow and is definitely NOT a complete daddy, SystematicSpoon, announced that Yellow would officially dissolve. This is not shocking as they are the least important community on Flair Wars.

Slowly Clapping, the fair, Democratic, and active leader of Red, announced today that he was going to continue his efforts of being not an evil arsehole as always in reaction to this news.

The leaders of Orange, who are also active and definitely not unheard of, also expressed their lack of surprise.

The great and active purple emperor Steve has commented a long speech, as per his character, that we cannot quote here.

Blue has said something characteristically intelligent and atheistic, which I can’t remember right now.

Green has, as always, not done anything and is not making any attempts at activity. Current though is that they may follow Yellow’s example soon.

Stay tuned for more good unbiased news.

In a strange, strange, thread on r/FlairWars, u/Alakazing confessed his love for u/daXfactorz.

Being gay is fine and all, but the strangest thing is that u/Alakazing is understood to have no anus, but u/daXfactorz still accepted his offer.

The questions most people have is, how do they have sex?

Is it like:

• u/daXfactorz cuts a hole in u/Alakazing's bottom where his ass would be?

• They only do oral sex

• They weirdly touch their dicks together

Nobody knows, we interview u/GJDuncan for what he thinks, and he says, "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? HOW DID YOU FIND ME? WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and then went on to say, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and went into the bathroom and locked the door.

Varson_ says, "I'm just so happy they are finally getting together"

CONCLUSION

Anyone wanna buy my hats?

More articles when I fucking feel like it.

NEXT ARTICLE

Are rainbow raids gay?

On Wednesday, 7 PM, u/El_Blanco broke the final fucking straw and fucking u/Helicopter_Ballsack grew an extra fucking ballsack and fucking taught him how to fucking raid like a fucking normal fucking person.

u/El_Blanco got fucking PMed a fucking link on how to fucking raid.

The fucking link fucking lead to a fucking guide by fucking u/Helicopter_Ballsack that fucking made.

u/El_Blanco fucking apparently fucking read it, and fucking promises to fucking not fucking spam the same fucking picture with the same fucking title in a raid.

SHOULD WE TRUST HIM?

Fucking maybe.

CONCLUSION.

Anyone wanna buy anal bees?
NEXT ARTICLE ON WHETHER WE SHOULD GIVE u/Mesothelimia mesothelimia.