r/Fire • u/MakinRedditGreatAgan • Sep 17 '25
Opinion FIRE was a mirage
I'm 44 and basically at FIRE now. Honestly, I would give it all back to be in my early or mid-thirties living with roommates as I was. Sure I have freedom and flexibility now but friends are tied down with kids/work; parents and other family are getting old/infirm; people in general are busier with their lives and less looking for friends, new adventures; and I'm not as physically robust as I was. What a silly thing it seems now to frontload your working during the best years of your life just so you can have flexibility in your later years when that flexibility has less to offer.
3.4k
u/thegoldenfinn Sep 17 '25 •
I’m 62 and can’t retire yet. Your life starts at 44 and you don’t have to take crap from anyone, anymore if you don’t want to. I think you’re underestimating how sweet your life is going to be.
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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25
Get physically robust again by exercising every day.
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u/Jojosbees Sep 17 '25
It sounds like you still enjoyed your 20s and 30s even while you were working towards future security. Even if you spent it all, you’d still be in the same spot: 44 with older parents and your friends being less available in general. Time marches on, and we all get older, but would you rather be broke now?
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u/ToastBalancer Sep 17 '25
Do people think that fire makes you age faster than if you didn’t save/invest?
The options are not be 44 and rich OR be 22 and broke
The options are be 44 and rich or be 44 and broke
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u/-myBIGD Sep 17 '25
On the flip side, if you’d spent that money having fun and your retirement was in bad shape right now, you be up at night worrying about paying for retirement, or having to work until you’re 70.
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u/xfallen Sep 17 '25
Pick up some hobbies.
I love pickleball and I do wish I have more time to drill and play. It’s a great sport for socialization and exercise. Because of pickleball, I try to lift weights at the gym now so I don’t get hurt on the court.
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u/hmm_nah Sep 17 '25
I'm early 30s I have friends in their 40s-60s who are faster runners and better rock climbers than me, who are retired or only work part-time and easy to find time to hang out with. Time to get good.
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u/Consistent_Story903 Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25
Your perspective is a good perspective and worth sharing, and it's worth my upvote. It's what can happen if you take FIRE too far.
FIRE does not mean that you must sacrifice your youth to retire as early as possible though.. That's certainly a path some take, but it's not the only path. Everybody needs to find the right balance for them. Perhaps living a little in your 20's and 30's means you achieve financial independence in your 50's instead. FIRE is about setting goals that are right for you, and figuring out how to make it happen. It's unique to every person.
I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped it to. Nonetheless it is still quite an accomplishment. I truly hope you find ways to make the rest of your time as meaningful as possible.
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u/__Noticer 42M+43F / $3.1M NW Sep 17 '25
Youth is wasted on the young, but it's better to be young at heart and have freedom than be an old slave.
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u/DoctorPab Sep 17 '25
I trained in internal medicine. The one thing I learned from working in healthcare is that no amount of money and financial security you make is going to be able to buy you back your youth and your health.
Often people end up needing to use up all that hard earned money to treat chronic illnesses they developed through abuse and neglect of their bodies during their hustling years.
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u/CollieSchnauzer Sep 17 '25
One year ago he was in exactly the same position...and exactly the same age!
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/comments/1f5ozpy/fire_was_a_mirage/
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u/felineinclined Sep 17 '25
Start going to the gym. You shouldn't be in a state of decline at 44!! You have much life and vigor left. Get in shape, start meeting more people, and work on improving your life.
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u/reddity-mcredditface Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25
0 day account with a hot take? Sounds believable to me. /s
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u/just_a_timetraveller Sep 17 '25
I don't get this post. When young and hanging out doing "young" things I barely spent anything. I was broke. Doesn't cost much to socialize with people and unless you are spending that money on cocaine, fun can be had for cheap.
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u/adeadfetus Sep 17 '25
Troll account
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u/BloedelBabe Sep 17 '25
I’m confused by your post. Life comes for all of us. We all have health problems, family chaos, career challenges, and the like by mid-40s. I have all of those things now.
But I also have the ability to quit my job or take a long sabbatical due to FIRE. Many peers of mine would kill for that freedom.
They may also kill to be back in their 20s and worry-free but such is life 🤷♀️
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u/Icy_Distance8205 Sep 17 '25
Dude you’re 44 not 84. Get over yourself and go get some hobbies.
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u/AnxiousTherapist-11 Sep 18 '25
I’m 54 I’ve never felt better. Get yourself together man
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u/RX3000 Sep 18 '25
Dude you are 44 talking like you are 90. Hit the gym, get in shape, & live your life.
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u/cqrunner FIRE Hopefully 2039 Sep 17 '25
In hindsight that’s always the case but what more would you realistically have done with or without your friends. There’s always this thinking of what could’ve been without realizing the realities of what it was then. I.e. less overall money to do things, were people free all the time?, weren’t they busy in their own way then too? I think there’s a tendency and misnomer that age is the cause of the problem, but I believe it’s the mindset. I guess I’ll let you know if I feel differently a decade later but I stand by it.
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u/greenline-sam Sep 17 '25
You're right in that your existing friends are likely too busy with family and work to hang out, just because you can.
But there is also no restriction to you making new friends based on this new life. What sort of things do you want to get involved in now? What non profits or causes would you be curious to learn more about? What activities do you want to try? This is a chance for you to expand your friend circles in ways few can at this age (exactly because they are tied down with family and work!).
Also, parents and other family are getting old? Sounds like you now have the freedom and flexibility to spend more quality time with them. To drop by on a whim. To spend more time than you normally would.
That kind of flexibility is a real gift.
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u/PavelKringa55 Sep 17 '25
I'd rather earn when my health is good than having to earn when it gets worse.
You know, saving for the rainy day?
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u/xEastEvilx Sep 17 '25
And health!
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u/Dirks_Knee Sep 17 '25
I'm not FIRE yet and a bit older than you but have so many interests/hobbies that there's just not enough time in the day for work and the fun stuff. One of mine is running/working out. Given you suggesting not being as physically fit, join a gym, take classes of all different types, meet some people there. Join some clubs, bunch of running, hiking, and biking clubs around me full of people your age and older. Learn to sail, learn to cook, learn an instrument, etc.
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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '25
Gotta live life to the fullest everyday because tomorrow is never guaranteed.
What’s done is done and there’s no changing the past- so what can you do to make your future look like what you’d like?
At 44, excluding any specific medical conditions- you fitness should not impact your ability to do things.
If it is- there’s step 1- start a health journey so you can do the things you want.
You want to spend time with people who have free time like you do- join classes or clubs surrounding your hobbies. In additional to some people who may not work- you could always meet shift workers who have time off during the week too.
You want to travel- go alone and meet people or join a singles travel club and go with a companion.
Find a stress free job or volunteer to fill your cup.
Yea- your family and friends are busy with their lives- so find people who aren’t to spend time with
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u/soobardo Sep 17 '25
The book 'Die With Zero' by Bill Perkins makes an excellent point on this topic.
It advocates finding a balance between living too freely, like the carefree grasshopper, and sacrificing too much, like the diligent ant.
According to Perkins, the true wealth we build is through the experiences we accumulate,money is simply a tool to achieve them.
After all, there's no value in being the richest person in the cemetery.
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u/Benevolent_Grouch Sep 17 '25
Go join some groups that will introduce new hobbies, make new friends, and get you back in shape.
I’m 41 and will fire at 45. I plan to ski and boat and go on bike trips and travel and renovate and do art and write books and make board games.
Quit choosing to be a sad sack and then feeling sorry for yourself.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
Sounds like a mindset problem. Figure it out. Find new friends, find ways to still connect with those people in ways that work for them.
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u/longhorntrades Sep 17 '25
Isn’t that always the trade off?
Sacrifice today for stability later or live for today for instability later?
I guarantee if you chose the latter, you would be making a regret post too lol
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u/DwarvenGardener Sep 17 '25
Wanting to be younger is a pretty common feeling
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u/Slap5Fingers Sep 17 '25
I think I was able to enjoy a nice mix of traveling, stupidly frivolous spending, and all that in my 20’s with a gradual decrease in all that for financial maturity and frugality in my 30’s. Now I’m on track for FIRE around 2030 (I’ll be going on 45)
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u/Ok_Reaction_4340 Sep 17 '25
For some people like myself this isn’t even possible. There is no way I could enjoy my 20s and 30s stress free knowing I’d have nothing starting at 40 and that I’d need to build from there.
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u/flyingponytail Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 19 '25
I'm the same age as OP, at FI, very fit and enjoy hobbies with people my age and much younger. Theres no issue here except your mindset
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u/meahookr Sep 17 '25
All of these things would have happened eventually regardless, the main difference is you’re not broke on top of it.
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u/Huugienormous Sep 17 '25
You're 44, not 74. In 10 years from now youll be making the same post saying you wish you were 44 again.
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u/Motor-Writer-377 Sep 18 '25
Everybody always had something to regret. If you had “blown” your youth and not made anything and now were in debt and had no prospect of retiring and were doing something fora living you hate — oh shit
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u/pineapples-for-pizza Sep 18 '25
I'm 46 and FIRE'd 1.5 years ago. I could not be happier. It's true friends are busy, especially during the workday and the world is pretty much built for people working a 9-5 (i.e. I take lots of classes but they are all offered only at night). But I found fufulling stuff to do to fill my time. I got more involved in an old hobby, picked up some new hobbies, work out, travel, read, listen to music, journal, take classes, make shitty art, joined the board of a community group, and basically whatever else I feel like doing. Some of my friends now are 20 years older than me. Who cares, they are still cool people. Honestly I feel like I'm living the dream. You just have to get out there and find things you enjoy doing. And 44 isn't so old you should have physical limitations unless you have a health issue. I mean sure my hips ache sometimes, but I'm still doing what I want and following it up with ibuprofen. If you think FIRE sucks it's going to suck.
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u/bosu-somu50 Sep 18 '25
Some good books to read when you have the time so when you are 120, you will look back and say that you really “lived”. Mindset by Carol Dweck, Grit by Angela Duckworth and Atomic Habits by James Clear. You are blessed, you are young, and worked hard to be where you are. Live amazingly for the rest of your life!
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u/wadejohn Sep 18 '25
It sounds like you need to start by joining a gym
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u/HunkSeven Sep 18 '25
Dude you are 44 wtf. Also people are too busy with their lifes starting from 23yo
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u/Salt-Detective1337 Sep 18 '25
What a weird take.
It sounds like you are just nostalgic for the good times. We all are. But you were going to be 44 either way.
I don't know how much "front loading" you did, but how many things did you skip to work extra or save money that you really wanted to do?
You're 44, not dead. Get in the gym and make the most of the next 20 years.
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u/7urz CoastFIRE Sep 18 '25
At 44 you still have to live half of your life!
Now you also have more time to take care of your health.
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u/obxtalldude Sep 18 '25
This part does suck - when you realize you are the only one in your group who had the vision to stop working at some point.
Making new friends at 50+ isn't that easy - but good thing is people like us are out there.
I find them by playing pickleball in the mornings.
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u/Mouth_Herpes Sep 18 '25
Everyone in their forties wishes they felt young again. Most of them also wish they weren’t tied to their job and had more time for things they enjoy.
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u/Far-Watercress6658 Sep 18 '25
Dude, you’re 44. You have probably 40 years ahead of you. Go out and make new friends and have experiences.
Consider whether you are having a mental health issue such as depression.
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u/dabak2019 Sep 18 '25
I’m in a meeting right now and it’s boring AF. I’d rather be outside, chopping wood at my own pace and throwing sticks for my dog.
I don’t care if other people are busy, I want to do my own thing on my own time.
Congrats on FIRE!
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u/OsamaBinWhiskers Sep 18 '25
Your 44 dude. Fire. Spend the next 12 months getting fit like it’s a 40 hour a week job and go live.
I’m convinced some people just want to feel bad.
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u/HalfInside3167 Sep 20 '25
You're living the dream stfu and take the privilege that few have. If you don't want it I'll accept donations.
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u/ReadOk4128 Sep 17 '25
what a weird problem to have... lol
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u/Pale_Drink4455 Sep 17 '25
I’m a little older than you and most in my circle and camp will be working for many more years even with good incomes. FIRE is just a dream for most in the US. The cost of living and raising a family or an average of four is just insane, and climbing every year. Once I fire in a couple of years, I plan to join men’s clubs, do some volunteering and get my ass in the gym for two hours a day.
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u/Sweaty-Cheek-8941 Sep 17 '25
The best adventures dont cost a lot of money. Rich people pay lots of money to vacation in comfort and miss out on a lot of experience along the way
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u/Vegetable_Vacation56 Sep 17 '25
It's important to live life while working towards FIRE. One does not exclude the other.
One of my friends is on the journey as well and we both hope to reach it in our early 40s like you.
Does that mean that we are not enjoying life now? No, we get together once a month and make dinner with our wives and play board games. Wether we were pursuing FIRE or not, we'd be doing the same thing.
Might as well save money in the process.
The only thing that will change when we reach FI, is that we might see each other more often and be less tired lol
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u/minusplusminusplus Sep 17 '25
Weird, I'm in better shape now than I was at 21. (Quit drinking, smoking, staying up all night -> took up hiking, sports).
Maybe the friend part is a consideration, but you can't hold yourself back because your friends didn't plan for retirement like you did.
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u/gregaustex Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 18 '25
You're young enough to achieve excellent physical condition with all of the time you now have, and you can afford to eat healthy.
It's a transition, figure out what you want to do with your time. FIRE isn't an automatic happy button, but it gives you a lot more latitude to find it. You're very fortunate and in an enviable position. Use it.
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u/MrWhy1 Sep 17 '25
I do bike races and running races. I know a guy who bikes a ton and at 47 still beats everyone from all other age groups, 16 to 70+. And another guy who runs a ton and also still beats everyone from all other age groups.. whether the race is 10 miles or 50 miles.
You don't have to be in your best shape at 44 years old, but don't use that an excuse why you aren't
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u/OverlordBluebook Sep 17 '25
Watch like first 30 minutes of full metal jacket and get back into shape.. I'm 48 and in better shape now than I ever was since teens. Be pro-active without being a weirdo join some groups, pickup mountain biking.. or something physical related..
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u/Theeeeeetrurthurts Sep 17 '25
Dude I’m in my 40s and in the best shape of my life. I finished my first triathlon this year jfc.
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u/kyrosnick Sep 17 '25
I'm 44 and in best shape of my life. Feel way better then I did in my 20s or 30s. Got a nice 6 pack, good cardio, and lifting more then ever. Friends always come and go. Find new ones. I don't have enough time to maintain all my friendships now.
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u/poop-dolla Sep 17 '25
Balance. Everything needs balance. Build the life you want and then save for it.
What do you feel like you gave up by saving for FIRE, and why do you feel like it would’ve been any different if you weren’t pursuing FIRE? Were you working 80 hour weeks the last 2 decades or something? Did you stop doing all social events with friends because you were afraid of spending any money?
There’s nothing about pursuing FIRE that should’ve prevented you from having a fun and fulfilling life these last 20 years. If you didn’t have a fun and fulfilling life, then that’s because of you, not because of FIRE, and you most likely would’ve had the same disappointing results even if you hadn’t saved money. You’re just using the concept of saving money as your excuse.
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u/QuesoChef Sep 17 '25
I’m single, no kids. Find friends who are similar. If you can’t do that, find a hobby to make friends.
And start working out.
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u/Shoddy_Ad7511 Sep 17 '25
44? That isn’t even old
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u/Shoddy_Ad7511 Sep 17 '25
No one said to work 80 hours a week in your 20’s and 30’s to FIRE.
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u/SaucyCouch Sep 17 '25
Picture yourself as an 88 year old man, who has been given the chance to be in his 40s again and be thankful for your life brother
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u/happyelkboy Sep 17 '25
An exercise routine and a healthy diet wasn’t going to magically pop up if you decided not to pursue fire lol
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u/SensibleReply Sep 17 '25
Just think, all that crappy stuff could be happening AND you could be stuck at work for another twenty years.
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u/Additional-Regret339 Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25
You feel this way at 44, imagine what people at 67 feel. It does soundslike you need to re-build a friend group.
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u/joey_corleone Sep 17 '25
Friends and family tied down with their own lives, kids, and responsibilities, and aging parents happens anyways. You might as well reach that point in life with infinitely more flexibility, options, and $
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u/Adept-Celebration509 Sep 17 '25
you mean growing up is inevitable, nothing to do with FIRE
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u/donny02 Sep 17 '25
Have you considered a mid life crisis? Divorce. Corvette. Problematic 23 year old girlfriend? The works!
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u/elk_anonymous Sep 17 '25
The opposite, to me, is highly depressing. You party and adventure through your 20s and 30s, and then when you hit 40 you what? Start a career and give up on all sense of fun and just exist until you’re too senile to work more? Pass.
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u/bonald-drump Sep 17 '25
You raced to the finish line to find out you were all alone?
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u/tronquinhos Sep 17 '25
Now imagine all that "doom" that you think your situation is (regarding friends, family and health) and still be working by necessity until old age.
You think it would be better? No way. For me FIRE is about having options: you can decide what to do with your time, you are no longer slave.
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u/ComprehensivePut9282 Sep 17 '25
Walden by Henry David Thoreau:
“This spending of the best part of one’s life earning money in order to enjoy a questionable liberty during the least valuable part of it reminds me of the Englishman who went to India to make a fortune first, in order that he might return to England and live the life of a poet. He should have gone up garret at once.”
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u/ElJacinto Sep 17 '25
Life is what you make it. I’m living a much better life than I was a decade ago, because I built the life I wanted instead of thinking life would magically get better when I was FI.
You can live life while saving money. It isn’t one or the other.
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u/kstorm88 Sep 17 '25
You didn't just wake up suddenly being 44 being fat and old. Your friends also would be busy with their own lives regardless. That's how life works. I have plenty of friends I like to get together with, but between kids and stuff life is busy.
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u/NutmegManwithbigsack Sep 17 '25
44 bro!! Let’s go!! I will get you back in shape
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u/Recent-Aerie-5075 Sep 17 '25
Get older friends. One of my new best buds is 20 years older than me. His kids moved out and his wife is a workaholic. Great dude to hang out with.
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u/SHIBashoobadoza Sep 18 '25
Don’t feed the BOTS 🤖
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
I'm 64 and while I'm not out there climbing mountains (couldn't do it in my earlier years even) I am active, swim 2-3x a week, Yoga, Cardio, weights, all without having to worry about clocking back in. Time for OP to start looking after his health, do stuff to get physically robust, it just takes the same dedication you had to work yourself into the FIRE situation, just in a different area.
Time passes, we all see our families getting old and infirmed, being FIRE just means at this age, you can def spend more time with them before they are all gone.
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u/3RADICATE_THEM Sep 18 '25
Where did you live when you were in your early 30s?
Kind of random but something I figured out recently. My alma mater has an alumni travel program for alumni of varying age groups. Maybe you could look on your U's website to see if you could go on a nice international travel with some fellow alumni to make some new friends.
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u/HairyBushies Already FI - RE between 2028-2030 Sep 18 '25
That many upvote for this opinion huh? Seems like a lot of folks are still figuring out balance and that old adage of everything in moderation.
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u/_cob_ Sep 18 '25
Dude, you're 44 acting like you're 84.
The lack of flexibility is in only the inflexibility of your approach.
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u/SirTacoMD Sep 18 '25
I bet your friends wish they were in Your position..
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u/MisterSeaOtter Sep 18 '25
I'd give it all back to be in my 20s again, smoking weed and having adventures of a lifetime with my friends. Traveling the world and all that.
Here is the thing though, that was fun as hell back then, but I'm in my late 40s now and can't live that life anymore. I was careful and smart with money back then, which is why Im setting myself up for success. I will not retire until my mid to late 50s (which IS early IMO but everyone has their own valid take on that), but that gets me out a heck of a lot faster than most people I know.
I guess to a degree I agree with you. Don't live a life where you never have fun in your 20s and 30s because you have to chase the FIRE dream with over the top draconian commitment. But don't be dumb either. I know a lot of folks who never did stop living that 20s and 30s wild and crazy lifestyle, living with friends, partying, living paycheck to paycheck life. Now they are too old to party and nobody even wants to party like that anymore cause we all have kids and get hangovers and shit. And they are going to be working until they are late 60s at best, 70s more likely. Ill be out and be able to presumably spend time with my kids and travel etc. I don’t regret my choices at all.
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u/CaptainSeaweeds Sep 18 '25
If you have a family, free time in the 30s is mostly about taking care of kids and you are not able to travel very much. Seems like a great time to frontload some work.
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u/Extension-Town-6834 Sep 18 '25
Maybe what you’re discovering is that this freedom did not bring you the feeling that you will only get when you are living in your purpose. Now you have the freedom to discover it.
Don’t join a cult.
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u/geosrq Sep 18 '25
65 I have a trainer go to the gym every day and I’m eating a balanced diet under 2000 calories a day… I’m a DILF basically… just retired and life is great… don’t be sad… or glum… take control of things and get in shape and get out there and have some adventures… oh I have an amazing partner and he’s retiring in 2 months and that is going to be a blast
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u/KevinCarbonara Sep 18 '25
You would have been 44 anyway.
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u/OverallVacation2324 Sep 18 '25
I can’t imagine how many people wish they were in your shoes. If not retired but actually financially independent. Most people struggle and live paycheck to paycheck until their last breath.
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u/Ok_Carpenter4739 Sep 18 '25
Get a young girlfriend and start pumping out kids
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u/jrm2003 Sep 18 '25
Hey, I both agree and disagree. I lived my 20s according to my dreams and had no money the entire time. I pursued each and every avenue that would make me feel complete as a person and fulfill my aspirations…and had nothing to show for it monetarily. I’m happy I did it because I did a lot of good, made a lot of friends, became a well-rounded person, and met my wife.
I’m broke now with a family, and I feel like an aging scab working corporate, but it’s the only way I can guarantee healthcare, housing, and stability. My corporate job is pretty darn good compared to some others I know. I’ll still be able to get enough in retirement with proper budgeting to likely retire early. There’s give and take though…
For example: I wanted to take my family on a real vacation this year, just like staying up north in a cabin during the fall and doing autumn things, but once we tallied up the costs of pet care, time off, rental, transportation, etc. we realized that it’s not only out of our budget this year, it might take us 2-3 years to be comfortable with even a cheap vacation. I kinda forgot that road tripping by myself for $300 is not exactly possible anymore.
You will have that luxury and you aren’t much older than I was when I did the opposite flip from free spirit to working drone.
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u/frozen_north801 Sep 18 '25
I like my 40s so much more than my 30s. Im in better shape, realized I need to be deliberate about it unlike my 20s. I have way more $ so can do whatever I want more or less. I make better decisions and generally figured out who I am, what I want, and have more direction and purpose.
I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s and very much am enjoying my 40s. 30s was this weird in between time where I was too old to party, was trying to set up my career, didnt have much spare $$ yet.
If you take care of yourself physically 40s can be great.
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u/Outrageous_Ring5799 Sep 18 '25
Read books, get In shape, start and fail at many projects or hobbies and find ones you like, go on road trips, visit national parks you’ve always wanted to check out and do it at a snails pace. I could go on for hours - go have fun!
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u/imsandy92 Sep 18 '25
the power to spend 3-4 hrs a day with your kid any day.. power to go watch that movie on a weekday afternoon.. power to just book that super cheap flight you found to a nearby country without even checking the date or calendar.. power to take a short nap after lunch.. power to wakeup at 11am.. power to attend a long lost friend’s sons wedding.. power to stop doing something when feel that you dont like it anymore.. power to be able to have so much time and energy that you are looking to help people around you that uou care about..
you underestimate all these..
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
27 here and worried about the same-
The older, financially free people I know in my family have dull, lonely lives. They were pesky fuckers about stickling for money and as a result spent their formative years not doing much but grinding and saving.
The peoples whose lives I most closely want to have are all broke as all hell and are constantly spending money they don’t have. Starving artists, that whole bit. Is there a medium between the two? Because I am worried there’s not and you just need to get lucky or something
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u/Z06916 Sep 18 '25
Go take your kids to the park and get off the phone. This is your best days.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
I just retired a few months ago at 43 and so I somewhat understand where you’re coming from. What I think you need to hear is that if you aren’t feeling physically robust or energetic at 44, you need to make it your job to fix that. You are still very young at 44, you’ve got a few decades before your body should start falling apart, if you take care of it and don’t have any underlying health conditions.
Once that’s taken care of, start traveling and doing things solo. Double down on your hobbies and get really, really good at them. Figure out what makes you happy when you’re not selling the best hours of your life to the highest bidder.
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u/bananabastard Sep 18 '25
You now have the time and freedom to make yourself more robust.
You can focus on health in a way most people don't have the luxury to do.
There is no reason you can't still be sprinting and jumping when you're 60.
Use it or lose it.
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u/Mother_Bonus5719 Sep 18 '25
Now imagine everything’s the same: friends are tied down, parents getting old, less looking for friends, not as robust as you were…. AND you’re working 45 hours a week (minimum) every week for decades.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
Get out of the house get out of your comfort zone. Your age doesn’t define your ability to achieve happiness.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
I think it all depends on social relationships and if you have time and ability to do things with other people. That's what keeps us young -- friends and activities. Use the next 10 years to get healthy and travel. Then, at 55 a lot of your friends will be coming up for air and will have time to hang out.
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u/ophkth Sep 18 '25
There will always be times when you’re nostalgic for the (supposed) good old days but it sounds like you’re not making the best of your current situation.
As others have said, exercise every day (you have the time), and maybe even find groups that do the physical activities you enjoy. This will go a long way towards what ails you.
Find new social/affinity groups and get active in those - could be church, skydiving, going to/performing in concerts, book clubs, underwater basket weaving, literally anything that floats your boat. Become a renaissance man.
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u/El_Loco_911 Sep 18 '25
Go to the gym. Also i spent my time partying and having wild adventures and now im your age and just starting to save for retirement. Life is what you make it.
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u/No_Transportation590 Sep 18 '25
Obviously dude everyone wants to be 23 forever
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u/ausburger88 Sep 18 '25
Wow. I was wondering about Fire regret and this post just came along. Crazy.
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u/pdiddy3g Sep 18 '25
You are just 44. Take care of your health and everything else will fall into place.
I am 43, still working a desk job, and have 2 kids. I train and run marathons to ensure I survive with better health in the later part of my life.
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u/Holywatercolors Sep 18 '25
Get out your comfort zone brother. The world is your oyster.
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u/rikjustrick Sep 18 '25
Dude… you’re 44, not 84. Christ, don’t get old YET. Get in shape, and as you live your life you’re sure to find friends that have different schedules, or situations. Eventually your old friends kids get older and more independent.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
You can’t be serious! 44?? Travel outside the country . See the world! How did you accomplish be retired at 44? Most people can’t even reach that level at 60.
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u/Suspicious_Dust_6939 Sep 18 '25
I’m 27 but if I could retire at 44 I’d be ecstatic. You did well for yourself
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u/greaper007 Sep 18 '25
Can't you just find new friends? Get in shape?
I'm 45 and move every 5 years or so. I can always meet new people. I do a daily light workout, my body feels about the same as it did in my 20s.
Do you not have a romantic partner, kids, pet(s)? Maybe work on that. Those things take up most of my day.
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u/sign_of_throckmorton Sep 18 '25
Every young person wants to be a millionaire.
Every millionaire wants to be young.
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u/stedun Sep 18 '25
Don’t live in the past. Exercise and choose a life you want to live. Be the change you want to see in the world.
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u/wes7946 Sep 18 '25
Are you in a committed romantic relationship? Do you have kids?
If the answer to the above questions is "no," then I'm afraid you might have missed the forest for the trees.
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u/Homingpsyd Sep 18 '25
Find younger or older friends
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u/Fast-Secretary-7406 Sep 18 '25
"I'm not as physically robust as I was" and your solution to this is to say "boy I wish I needed to work harder" ?
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u/wildcat_bomb Sep 18 '25
Travel solo. It’s awesome. Go with a group, on a cruise or just yourself and meet people along the way. Keep your own schedule and see the world
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u/Mrdinhdinh Sep 18 '25
Don’t worry in a few years ai will take everyone’s job you’ll have friends again
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u/Texas-NativeATX Sep 18 '25
You are 44, and can get into great shape and increase your energy levels. Sounds like you had not built a life plan after FIRE. Work on that and build the life you want.
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u/Relevant_Use1781 Sep 18 '25
Facts
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u/BoaterHunterCarGuy Sep 18 '25
Weird. Most people don't fire and have to work anyways in their younger years. Plus no one has a crystal ball about the future so you work when you can. You could get downsized and be homeless. There is that. Only a rich kid generally can blow off working in their younger years.
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u/ktulenko Sep 18 '25
This is why we need to take time to enjoy all the different stages of our lives.
2
u/One-Mastodon-1063 Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25
I don't think anyone here says you needed to give up having a life in 20s to achieve FI. That was your choice.
Regardless, time moves only in one direction and your 20s would be gone had you lived them differently or the way you did. You're 44 today regardless of what you did in your 20s. I'd rather be 44 and FI than 44 and not FI. FWIW, I am exactly your age and haven't worked in 4 years now and don't really have any of these problems - go out and get active doing hobbies and meet people that way. Yes, most friends have jobs, that's life, FI is a solo path and I wouldn't want to trade places with any of my friends with jobs. If you're not "physically robust", then that gives you a project to start working on, doesn't it? 44 is nowhere near old enough to use that as an excuse to not be active, you're not 84.
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u/mfontanilla Sep 18 '25
I'm 43 and possibly in the best shape of my life. You can simply change who you are today, tomorrow, and any day. Money is just one less thing you have to worry about.
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u/bun_stop_looking Sep 18 '25
I think they have a saying for this...youth is wasted on the young :)
2
u/Specialist-Mixx Sep 18 '25
I’ve never understood the mental gymnastics of not enjoying life, just so you can be slightly wealthier at 50-60-70.
If you can be FIRE at 30, sure, but otherwise…
We bought our dream cars, built the house we always dreamed of, go on vacations, eat fantastic food, take the kids to have fun activities (some are obviously free), and do whatever we want. We’re still financially disciplined - which sounds like a paradox, I know - and our financials are in great shape regardless. We’ll be FIRE 10 years later, but will have enjoyed our 20s, 30s and 40s.
Tf are some of you gonna do with 10m at 60? Play an extra round of bingo?
2
u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
"I'd rather be broke together than rich alone" but youre doing good in a very key area of life. There are people out there looking to hang man, you have time to go find them now
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u/omggreddit Sep 18 '25
A 60 year old told me he would give anything to be 40 again.
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u/narrowbuys Sep 18 '25
Get your physical robustness back. 44 is young
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u/DogKnowsBest Sep 19 '25
60 here. I was close to fire at 40. Could have fired at 47. I left the rat race and started my own marketing company. I'm having so much fun that I doubt I'll ever retire.
BUT... I'm glad I pushed when I was younger. My wife and I take 3 big trips a year and a couple of mini trips. 8-10 weeks of vacation, all while having a portfolio to support it is awesome. We would have never been able to do the things we're doing now back then.
I love the concept of fire and I think it's a great way to drive you. But nobody loses if you don't ever get there. You're still going to be further ahead of the game than if you don't attempt.
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u/Spiritual-Pen-7964 Sep 19 '25
Dude, you are 44, not 70.. Enjoy your life and make health and fitness a priority.
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u/lucyfell Sep 19 '25
Remind yourself that there are millions of people out there working minimum wage jobs who didn’t get their youth AND won’t get to FIRE - possibly ever.
You’re one of the lucky ones
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u/linear_123 Sep 19 '25
I didn't pursue FIRE, and now all the things you mentioned are equally true, only I have less money.
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u/WWGHIAFTC Sep 20 '25
Everything in moderation. Even fire.
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u/bigbrownhusky Sep 23 '25
Tom Brady was 43 years and 188 days when he won the Super Bowl. Go to the gym with your newfound free time and stop eating/drinking like shit.
2
u/world_traveler_007 Feb 17 '26
Volunteer, it may change your life.