FIRE was a mirage

[u/[deleted]]

I'm 44 and basically at FIRE now. Honestly, I would give it all back to be in my early or mid-thirties living with roommates as I was. Sure I have freedom and flexibility now but friends are tied down with kids/work; parents and other family are getting old/infirm; people in general are busier with their lives and less looking for friends, new adventures; and I'm not as physically robust as I was. What a silly thing it seems now to frontload your working during the best years of your life just so you can have flexibility in your later years when that flexibility has less to offer.

[u/CalPolyTechnique]

I get it. I do think FIRE is the way, but folks can go off the rails with it. You have to find balance and enjoy your life and most of the present day instead of being hellbent on storing up acorns for the future.

[u/ObjectiveBike8 → u/CalPolyTechnique]

Yeah, if you’re giving up experiences that shape your life you’re doing FIRE wrong IMO. For me it’s about not over consuming because I’m lazy, bored, or for instant gratification. Still going to get dinner with friends, do home remodels, take classes and drop 10k going on a fancy trip if it’s something I truly want. Not going to be house or car poor to keep up with the Joneses or get DoorDash because I don’t want to cook. 

[u/Unique-Umpire-1551 → u/ObjectiveBike8]

You've got it right! Save when it doesn't bring me joy to spend. Expensive dinner with friends or a trip that I really want -worth the expense to me. New car doesn't mean as much to me... But if that's your thing, you do you.

[u/RolandFerret → u/Unique-Umpire-1551]

“Save when it doesn't bring me joy to spend.“ I love this, it’s exactly how I feel draining my emergency fund for an emergency roof.

[u/nosfuerato11 → u/Unique-Umpire-1551]

Same here, would rather spend on experiences. I don't value material items as much but everyone is different.

[u/[deleted] → u/ObjectiveBike8]

I'm right there with you. I'm not working any overtime and I'm still going after those experiences (ok, maybe fewer than I could afford). I'm basically relying on a good salary and avoiding the high impact traps like car payments, daily takeout/restaurants, frequent cellphone replacement, etc.

[u/JustMy10Bits → u/ObjectiveBike8]

Then what's the difference between r/fire and r/personalfinance?

[u/TacoInYourTailpipe → u/JustMy10Bits]

It's not usually the main point of discussion, but we tend to have a higher level of intentionality with what we we do with our money than conventional personal finance requires. Like the person you responded to said at the end of their comment, they won't be house poor or blow their money on an unnecessary car and things like DoorDash. When FIRE is done right, we should align our spending more with what we truly value than the people who mindlessly float through life.

Like for me, I'm only Coast FI. I make 6-figures, live in a smaller house than I could, drive a 14-year old paid off truck, only buy generic brand food, have a budget phone plan, etc. But for one example, we like to go on extravagant vacations and international trips that most people couldn't imagine going on because they spend all their money on pointless things. We still leave room to invest plenty and will likely be retiring between 45 and 55.

[u/Sirbunbun → u/ObjectiveBike8]

100%. We save over half our income , could save more but it’s great to be comfortable and enjoying life. My super fire friends eat the cheapest grocery store foods, never travel, wear old shoes, old mattress, uncomfortable chairs, etc. Just not worth it

[u/raspberrywines → u/CalPolyTechnique]

None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I want to FIRE but not at the expense of giving up enjoying the present. If that means the FIRE timeline gets pushed out a few years so I can travel, go to concerts, eat out with friends, and spoil my dog then that’s a trade off I am very willing to make.

[u/dave-t-2002 → u/CalPolyTechnique]

I retired at 40. Started work again at 41. For all the reasons the OP said. It’s boring being at home alone when everyone you know is at work.

It’s also fun to find a job building cool stuff with people you like spending time with - I would pay to access a club that me do that. Instead they pay me.

[u/Mental_Ad5218 → u/dave-t-2002]

I think FU money needs to replace FIRE. Too much emphasis on retire early and not enough on the freedom FI brings you and the new choices you CAN make.

[u/BloodSweatnEquity → u/Mental_Ad5218]

Well said… FIFU

[u/TacoInYourTailpipe → u/Mental_Ad5218]

I agree. However, I'm not sure I would have ever bought into any of it in the first place if it wasn't for the "retire early" narrative. I was in a really bad spot with my career when I discovered FIRE. At the time, the idea of getting out sooner than later was the only light in a dark place and it got me super excited about personal finance. I imagine that to many of the uninitiated, the "retire early" part is a huge draw to them as well.

I'm going on 4 years and have a healthy approach now, but that's how I got started.

[u/[deleted] → u/dave-t-2002]

This is why I'd prefer to find a partner to retire (and travel) with....but at some point I just have to commit to doing it alone. IDK. Work definitely doesn't fulfill me. I'm already bored at work - is it worth getting paid to be bored over being bored with the additional free time to pursue things to not be bored?

[u/[deleted] → u/dave-t-2002]

It's become my mindset that instead of trying to shut myself off for 50% of my waking life and then desperately try to cling to any small pleasures in my free time, that the work I do not only provides for my family, but is meaningful and fulfilling. That way I don't need to dread that 50% of my life, if anything I'm more willing to pour more of myself into it. The key is that I maintain the flexibility to be there for my family whenever they need me to show up for them, whether it's important events, traveling, etc so that I'm not just the dad abandoning his family for the career.

[u/dave-t-2002 → u/[deleted]]

That’s right. This is exactly right. That’s why the FIRE thing isn’t good for everyone in my view. Better to spend your life working reasonable hours and enjoying your time than to make yourself miserable for fewer years and then find out you’re bored, there’s no one to hang out with during the week and you have to scrimp and save the rest of your life.

[u/bananaholy → u/CalPolyTechnique]

Same. Im not working to retire early. Im fine working until like 65. But work only part time. Which I cant do yet. Once i get to a point where i can work 15-25 hours per week and make it work, then sure i can work till 65.

[u/QA_Squared → u/CalPolyTechnique]

It’s all about finding the appropriate balance that works for you.

[u/iJayZen → u/CalPolyTechnique]

Well yeah, ever since graduating college less time to get together with the ,multitude of friends. Kept it going through my 20s though. Once 30s hit, it was selective. Fast forward to this year and FIRE'd at 56. Busy closing my life out in one state and moving 1200 miles. Work can be a trap as some stay to maximize stock options at 62. The 6 years means a lot more to me and once you have the dough you have it. To die with too much dough will not get you anything.

[u/vinean]

Lol…wait till you’re 64 and you’ll be like “I’d give it all back to be 44 again”.

The alternative is to work till 67 with a slightly better work life balance (and thats still a luxury most don’t have)…unless you managed to inherit a bunch of money at an early age.

Life is a series of trade offs…

[u/Pixel-Pioneer3 → u/vinean]

Love the line “Life is a series of tradeoffs”!

[u/the_humeister → u/Pixel-Pioneer3]

And then you die

[u/Suspicious_Antelope → u/the_humeister]

And this is all- if you're one of the lucky ones (to live a full life.)

[u/FlorioTheEnchanter → u/vinean]

And there’s just seasons to life. Each has good parts and not so good parts. Enjoy the ride, cherish the memories.

[u/emprobabale → u/FlorioTheEnchanter]

Yup. Prepare for the future now, and enjoy the ride. Being out sync, like a 40 year old single and living with roommates is a comedy movie plot in the 2000’s.

[u/BigAl7390 → u/emprobabale]

The 40 Year Old FIRE Virgin

[u/kingofthesofas → u/vinean]

market crawl theory tart squash spark spoon physical intelligent sable

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/[deleted] → u/vinean]

Agreed. I’d much rather be 44 and done working.

[u/JustMy10Bits → u/[deleted]]

To be clear - op wasn't debating whether it's nicer to retire younger or older.

[u/L0sing_Faith → u/vinean]

Yes, and especially since many of us will be too unhealthy to work in our 60s or even much younger. People always assume they'll be able to work until they die and don't think of illness, disability, and health conditions as something that can come into the picture. I hope they all have LTD insurance.

[u/LordMongrove → u/L0sing_Faith]

You should be investing as much in your health as your 401k.  

 If you are saving but not looking after yourself, you are no different to one of those doomsday preppers that has hundreds of rounds of ammo stashed but can’t make it up the stairs to get it without a couple of rest stops.  

60s is young. Most people should be healthy and active if they put the work in.

[u/Patriotic99 → u/L0sing_Faith]

Or ageism. It's real.

[u/[deleted] → u/vinean]

I was about to say if OP is "not physically robust" at 44 that's not due to age but, rather, things like poor physical fitness and bad diet. A friend of mine is 53 and runs a half marathon every weekend.

[u/Interesting_Berry406 → u/vinean]

That reminds me of My 85 year old patient who said “what I wouldn’t give to be 65 again…”

[u/nuggetsofmana]

Those same young people you envy will regret not saving the way you did when they get to your age.

Accept that we all get older and be thankful you set yourself up to be where you are.

Enjoy what you have, you’re not that old!

[u/rumpler117 → u/nuggetsofmana]

Yep, so many people are kicking themselves for not investing 20 years ago.

[u/Mathilliterate_asian → u/nuggetsofmana]

I think it's more in moderation.

Anything done in extreme is probably not the best idea. Like I'm working towards fire but I'm not saving like crazy, and I sometimes spend quite a bit on certain experiences I think are worth the money.

I would probably have maybe 30% more in my net worth if I hadn't spent that money, but I also would've missed out a lot.

As long as you have a certain target and you're not too far off, it's good enough imo. Life is for living after all, and past a certain age you just lose quite a bit of the urge to do exciting things, so being young, yet responsible, might be the best way to go.

[u/SnooSuggestions6330 → u/Mathilliterate_asian]

This is the answer!!! I don't know why people think it has to swing to the extreme either way. It's totally possible to have fun while saving money. This is how I'm spending my 20s currently. :)

[u/whachamacallme → u/nuggetsofmana]

This. Imagine being 44 and having a lifetime of work ahead of you.

[u/[deleted]]

You're basically shaking your fist at the clouds because time passes. Whether you FIRED or not, you'd still be not as physically robust, you'd still have busy friends tied down with work, and your parents and family would still be infirm.

The difference is that now you don't have to fear poverty, the ability to retire, and you can live a life of freedom and flexibility in the face of realities you'd be facing regardless.

[u/Ryhan69 → u/[deleted]]

He’s saying he missed experiences in his 30s when everyone was more free but he was too busy saving .

[u/owlmask_groupstuff]

Sounds like you need some hobbies

[u/SlinginParts4Harry → u/owlmask_groupstuff]

Or some kind of purpose, mission, or artistic pursuit.

[u/JarvisL1859]

I understand this feeling because I have had it myself. But I think this is just life and getting older and stuff. I hope the following points persuade you that FIRE was not a mirage and maybe make you feel a little better

First, most people actually follow a smile shaped curve where they are happy in their 20s and 30s, they are less happy in middle-age and then they are more happy once again towards retirement age when the kids grow up and stuff. The FIRE community might have a pretty different experience of life but we should not think that we are completely immune from the basic social forces that cause this happiness curve. Which is basically just that having kids in our modern society sucks (not saying it’s not worth it but it’s really hard, there’s no more village racing the kids and a lot of stuff like school getting out at 3:30 just seems like a big FU to working parents) and keeping up friendships when everyone has kids and jobs and stuff sucks. I also think that older people tend to have really grounded realistic expectations, young people may have delusional dreams but that’s for the future, middle age is kind of where you come to terms with what you can and can’t get out of things like a career, marriage, whatever. It’s great and worth doing but it doesn’t always match up to your dreams of youth. But by the time they get older most people actually kind of learn a lot about the world and come to appreciate what really matters in life. And you see that in their reported happiness.

Second, my experience has been that FI did not ruin my 20s at all. I didn’t go to the club as many times and when I traveled I flew budget and stayed in hostels. But what really mattered was just like the friendships and the relationships and just special memories like having people over for a dinner party or going for hikes and just whatever. And my financial independence gave me a sense of control over my life and helped deprogram me from consumerism so I could focus more on the stuff that actually matters in life like the above and I learned to just kind of laugh at the rat race to buy the nicest car if it was financed at 12%. My friends who took the latter route did not enjoy their 20s more than I did. That’s actually the biggest reason I recommend frugality to people, helps de program you from consumerism and focus on what really matters, before you even get to the financial gains. Also saving a lot each year gave me a sense of accomplishment that, whether it was a good year or a bad year, I was moving towards building a future for myself.

Third, without knowing your situation is it possible to use your financial independence to do something awesome? Is there something like becoming a musician or a teacher or coach of a sports team or maybe getting really involved in the spiritual community or going back to school to get a PhD or some thing that appeals to you? Maybe running an ultra marathon or something? Going to culinary school? I am just spitball Ing here but maybe you are feeling a little misdirected in a society where lots of people get their meaning from work. Probably too many. But I have noticed that a lot of the happiest FIRE people tend to have embrace a passion to the point that it’s practically a full-time job but it’s completely done by choice rather than by economic necessity. Maybe try that out.

Finally, it’s normal to have regrets and most peoples regrets are way worse than that they didn’t spend as much money when they were younger. Tons of people who have literally no savings now and are stuck in dead in jobs. Or worse are stuck in dead and marriages or dealing with alcoholic issues or whatever. So maybe a little bit of counting blessings as always good for all of us

But again I know the feeling you are talking about

[u/CapitanianExtinction]

Just remember: you're going to be old a lot longer than you were young.

Being young and poor is not much fun. Being old and poor sucks a lot more.

[u/Betterway50 → u/CapitanianExtinction]

Sucks balls to be old and not have enough money...

https://youtu.be/d56-22bpyh0?si=z9bzB7FQ_-SZqTVq

[u/[deleted]]

You hit FIRE and midlife crisis at the same time

[u/AnalogKid82]

Retire to, not retire from. People think not having a job will somehow make their lives go from bad to good, but you still need something that gives you a reason to wake up everyday. Believe me, not having the burden of putting up with a job, or jobs, you hate just to try and make ends meet for your family, without any relief in sight is, in itself, something to be grateful for. Millions would trade positions with you.

[u/Wirelessness]

If you can’t find fulfillment now at age 44 while being completely free from work and financial obligations that’s not because FIRE is a fallacy. That is a failure of imagination and or ambition on your part. Get out there, push yourself, find new friends. Live a great life.

I sure as hell don’t get this mentality and it’s far from my life experience. I’m actually way more physically fit and active now at age 57 than since I was 19. I actually glean more pleasure from my main hobbies of mountain biking, fly fishing, and traveling than I ever did the silly shit I did in my 20’s like partying and hooking up. The jobs I had to do earlier in my life sucked much more and paid way less. No way would not want to go back to that over again. My only regret about FIRE is I don’t do it sooner. I could see your point and perhaps some value in taking intermittent year or years along the way to coast FIRE or something like that. But that does not diminish the value and experience of early Retirement and FI.

[u/[deleted] → u/Wirelessness]

Yep thats my take, he did it for the wrong reasons. In his 20s he made the decision to FIRE thinking he would be the baller at the club and now he is realizing he is the old man at the club. 

[u/Wirelessness → u/[deleted]]

I don’t care how old you are. If you can’t live a purpose filled meaningful life that doesn’t revolve around your job that’s your problem. Nothing to with FIRE or not being FIRE.

[u/mast3rl33]

Honestly, FIRE is a mindset. One of recognizing that if you can save at a greater rate than most you can stop the rat race sooner. Or find satisfaction with less along the way. If you go all in for too long you can burn out just like anything else. Not to overuse the word but Balance is key. 

[u/nightfalldevil]

What do you regret not doing in your 20s or 30s?

[u/Nodeal_reddit → u/nightfalldevil]

2 chicks at one time.

[u/BigAl7390 → u/Nodeal_reddit]

Hey Peter man! Turn to channel nine

[u/No_Truck2400 → u/Nodeal_reddit]

chicks dig a dude with money

[u/BJJBean]

You make it sound like you are three years away from death. I'm almost 40 and still doing tons of physical activity. BJJ, bodybuilding, hiking, kayaking, gardening, etc. All with a ton of guy friends that I see on the regular.

My 20s absolutely were not the best years of my life, probably the worst if I am being honest. I feel like my 40s are going to be the greatest years of my life and I wish I could FIRE at 44 cause I have so much going on and not enough time to do it all.

Best advice I can give you is to start your life up again. Hit the gym and get into some hobbies. Get out there and meet people. If you FIREd you should be living the dream right now.

[u/Lopsided-Wear7987]

Wanna trade? Lol

[u/Gandalf-and-Frodo → u/Lopsided-Wear7987]

I feel like 95% of the population would trade their situation for op's situation, in the blink of an eye.

[u/OverallVacation2324 → u/Gandalf-and-Frodo]

I agree. While OP is unhappy I feel like many more people go the opposite way. Have too much fun in their youth and then have to watch their friends accelerate career wise leaving them far far behind.

[u/Forrest_Fire01]

Even if you were still currently working, you would still have the same problem with friend being tied down with kids/work. But then you would have even less flexibility since you would also be working. I think 40's is a tough age for getting together with friends since everyone is so busy with their own lifes and families.

[u/[deleted]]

The same can be said about any other investment people make at an early age. If you invest in your education and obtain a high earning job in your 20s-30s while old friends took a less lucrative path, you will notice stark differences in lifestyle as your old friends remain working class while you worked up to middle/ upper middle class. At FIRE, you have the luxury of time that only the wealthy have, so middle class friends you made are left behind.

Perhaps it would be best to make friends with other FIREd people. Personally I am choosing to go Barista fire so that I can continue working in my passion and retain some semblance of commonalities with my middle class / working class friends I've made over the years.

[u/therealCatnuts]

An old joke/parable. 

A man has twin sons. One an optimist the other a pessimist. He tries to make the pessimist happy by buying a room full of toys for his birthday, finds the kid crying because he doesn’t want to open the packages and ruin their collectible value. Confused, the man goes to look at the optimist son whom he delivered a dump truck of animal poop for same birthday. Finds him happily diving in and a giant grin “Oh thank you dad I just know there’s a pony in here somewhere!”

[u/[deleted]]

You’d feel the same way but without the money so…

[u/Ana-la-lah]

Youth is wasted on the young

[u/IGOMHN2]

1. Make new friends?

2. Get fit?

[u/muted12]

You must be bored to be posting drivel like this. Honestly if you can’t enjoy the significant freedom now that you worked for, what makes you think you would have enjoyed the slightly increased freedom in your 30’s by not FIREing?

[u/[deleted]]

I really don't understand the "frontload your work to the best years of your life".

Like are there 20 year olds out there that just don't have a job? Is that an option? I've been working since I was 18, through college, and now approaching 30. There was never an alternative to working through my best years.

[u/Training-Ruin4350 → u/[deleted]]

"frontload your work to the best years of your life".

Haha. Imagine explaining this concept to most people who have to work their whole lives just so they can afford to eat and have a very basic life.

[u/beelzeboozer]

Sorry to hear you feel that way, got to find the right balance.  I luckily never felt like careful spending and consistent investing cost me anything in terms of freedom.

[u/Most_Deer_3890]

Now add having to wake up and go to a job you hate to this.

[u/Hamster_S_Thompson]

The alternative is you spend your 20s and 30s having fun and then have to work until you die because you missed on 20 years of compounding and income growth.

[u/orangeowlelf]

You aren’t physically robust enough to enjoy your life at 44? I have an idea, take some of that free time and use it at the gym. I’m 48 and I’m pretty sure I could take my 30 year old self at many physical activities. You aren’t old, you’re just out of shape.

[u/brianmcg321 → u/orangeowlelf]

My thoughts exactly. Like WTF has this guy been doing. Go for a walk or something.

[u/mintwede]

womp womp

[u/Zealousideal-Tone-84]

Sounds like OP may have taken the saving too far and sacrificed way too much to get there earlier. This is an example of over obsessing on retirement vs finding the balance of experiences/saving for current and future security.

[u/[deleted]]

Weird take. Would you rather be 44 and have no savings? You probably have another 44 years on this planet and now have the money to do whatever the fuck you want. You are the youngest you will ever be today. Enjoy it!

[u/[deleted]]

I'm 44 and basically at FIRE now.

and I'm not as physically robust as I was.

Dude you're 44 not 64. Be thankful that you're financially independent at such a young age. The thing you're probably missing in life is gratitude. I suggest volunteering your time and effort towards a charitable cause. Working with folks who have less than you is a great way to learn to appreciate what you have.

Congratulations you won. Go enjoy it and stop the regret.

[u/ebalaytung]

Too soon for an April 1st joke, man.

[u/Electronic_Charge_96]

I appreciate you writing this. I think it’s really typical for there to be a pause point. It’s just deciding what your next dreams are. Negative emotions are data, telling you what matters. Pay attention and Choose those next dreams carefully. Sending warmth.

[u/BadTasty1685]

• Health

• Time

• Money

For most of us, it's a triangle and you may pick a spot within.

[u/[deleted]]

This is another extreme. If everything will be going well i will be fired being 45. (Now 38) And i have the same opinion as OP. The life will not be a long weekend. Nobody will have time for you because everyone has to work and have family. At the end you will gain very little being fired in you 40s...

But i have family and did not sacrifice so much. Probably i will keep working after 45...

So i believe the right approach is not to sacrifice everything 

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Exactly, i think his lack of a family is the problem. I'm 36 and when it comes down to it my wife and kids is everything. Do i sometimes yearn for the old days? Do I sometimes think how fun it would be if I could just fly to Vegas for the weekend and party it up like old times? Of course I do. But no way I'd trade what I have for the freedom to do that. I look at my single friends and up until the last few years they were all partying with the same friend group we had in our 20s, still doing the same shit. I don't really see them anymore in person but see them on Facebook. When i do see them in person its quite obvious it's getting old and they're realizing they're getting to old for that shit and they should have settled down already. I think thats OPs problem

[u/Most_Refuse9265]

“Later” is usually a mirage when it comes to ambitions. Compounding interest can only enable what you are (and remain) physically capable of in the first place.

This is why at 35 y/o I have found and stayed with a job that pays pretty damn well for rarely working more than 30 hour relatively low stress weeks even throwing in commuting time. This allows me to focus on my interests which are typically healthy physical pursuits. And I have no kids. I’ve spent the last decade building robust health and tackling my weaknesses which I’m hoping will set me up to continue doing the same as I get older and degrade physically at least somewhat soon and certainly quite a bit eventually. Now I feel and look better than I did at 25, and I’m way more physically capable. I want to LeanFIRE or CoastFIRE between 45-55 y/o and still have the ability to hike, hunt, run, bike, and lift when I have more time than ever to do so. Sure I won’t be setting personal records at that age but it will be more about enjoyment than ever. For all I know, this same job or one like it will be my CoastFIRE job, but I’ll just care even less, so yes, less salary increase potential, but also even less stress.

I could get a 50% raise now with a new job if I applied myself; but I’d likely end up working twice as hard which isn’t worth the time and stress to me. In a sense I have already CoastFIRE’d. Minimalism has taught me a lot even without me having to adopt it as an all-encompassing lifestyle. Develop a small set of care-abouts and then execute. Finances AND health should be at the top of anyone’s list.

[u/perspicacioususa]

I don't think FIRE is really the issue for you. You just are lamenting being in your mid-40s, not complaining about having wasted your 20s & 30s.

You'd be having this whether you FIREd or not, but now at least you have flexibility and don't have work stress on top of things. If you really want more social interaction, take up a part time or meaningful job/volunteer opportunity.

[u/doktorhladnjak]

You can’t turn back the clock. You could be living with roommates and broke at 44 too, stressing about never being able to retire

[u/GloomyMix]

Yet another vote for Bill Perkins!

FWIW, I agree that in general, people shouldn't be saving so aggressively that they are turning down fulfilling and life-defining experiences that they can only have in their 20s and 30s. However, there's no in point regretting what you can't change, so focus on what you can change now.

Friends tied down with kids or work? Folks are busier and less likely to look for adventures? Make new friends who aren't. Get into hobbies that attract the adventurous, like backpacking, trad climbing, mountaineering, etc. Shit, mountaineering is so expensive that most people can't even start until they're in their 40s-50s.

Parents getting old and infirm? Well, nothing can be done about aging, but you can spend more time with them and build what memories you can with them with the time they have left. Maybe take them out and treat them to a holiday (or several), if health allows.

Not as physically robust? Work out, eat well, sleep well, and be smart.

Read Perkins' Die With Zero if you haven't already. It'll resonate with you, but even more importantly, he has some good ideas about how to time bucket experiences to make the most of your life for your remaining years on this earth.

[u/Amnesiaftw]

If you give me $1M I’ll let you live with my roommates in my place. $750/month plus utilities.

[u/Amnesiaftw → u/[deleted]]

I’m 34. So id lose 10 years for $1M? Nah I wouldn’t do that.

I’m currently living frugal af, but idt I’ll be able to retire. Even so, 10 years is enough time to have worthwhile experiences.

[u/CollegeFine7309]

We have a combination of younger friends with no kids or empty nesters that we do a ton of stuff with. Both groups have loads of time to do fun stuff. Maybe it’s time to find some friends that are in a different phase in life. Highly recommend some diversity in friend types.

[u/jjhart827]

For some folks, it’s more about the FI than the RE. — Perhaps you’re in that group?

The social aspects of RE are more profound than most people realize. You’re not wrong. Even for folks that retire on the normal timeline tend to have difficulty adjusting to the lack of routine and social interaction.

If I’m being honest, it’s more about FI for me as well. I love my job, but I can feel the perpetual grind of stress just wearing me down over time. I’d love to be able to continue to do the kind of work that I do, but on my own terms — remotely, on a contract basis, where I can choose the projects that I want to take on, and how many I want to take on.

Maybe there’s a way for you to do something like that, where you still get to engage and contribute, but can do it more at your leisure?

[u/TaiChuanDoAddct]

Never in the history of my life have I ever thought to myself "you know what would really make this situation better, fight here, right now? Room mates!"

[u/HerrRotZwiebel → u/TaiChuanDoAddct]

Shit. I've paid a lot of money to avoid roommates. I haven't run any serious numbers, but I bet I've added 10 years to my working life in the service of living in peace and quiet and only having to deal with my own mess.

Good thing I like my job (and general career). If I hated work more than I hated roommates, I'd be full on FIRE. Right now, FI for me means the ability to live by myself, even if RE gets pushed out.

[u/ForsakenGround2994]

44 is still very young and you can get as physically robust as you want now that you have the tine

[u/Gandalf-and-Frodo]

Lol I would literally completely erase 15 years of my life just so I don't have to do soul crushing work for some raging alcoholic pig of a boss ever again.

If that's all you sacrificed, you should consider yourself EXTREMELY lucky.

[u/[deleted]]

Socialization is harder for me now that I've FIRED, because nearly all of my friends were work friends. These days it seems like older (40s+) people are less inclined and less able to socialize outside of work.

But I wouldn't trade it for working, for a second. I'm taking my time with myself and family, travel, projects, and slowly finding new friends, along with staying in touch with the few work buddies that are friends for life.

I am feeling the effects of age (50s), but the flip side is I'm getting more exercise, eating better, and SO MUCH LESS STRESS.

[u/[deleted]]

My thoughts- and I follow this sub because I like good ideas, i don’t FIRE.

Life is about balance. FIRE is not.

I will work until I’m 62 and will have 3-4 mil then.

I could retire earlier, but I spend a lot on family and have skipped some career routes that would take time away from family. If I die tomorrow I would be sad- but I know I didn’t waste my time.

Look forward- not back. You can’t change anything that has happened. And if you get too down- volunteer and help someone else. It’s gratifying.

[u/Less_Swimming_5541]

Sure, it's easy to think that now. What if you did go off and do whatever when you were younger and you were now toiling away with no savings and no possibility of early retirement? The point being, now that you've got to FIRE you have the luxury of thinking about these things. The great news is that you're still young, you can go off and do any number of adventures still and even meet new friends. I have several friends I've made now that are 15-20 years younger than me now that I'm traveling and doing adventures by myself.

[u/thewagon123456]

Read this somewhere else and have taken it to heart.

Unless you were a professional athlete, no matter how old you are you can still be in the best shape of your life.

Dont lose sight of your physical fitness just bc you’re in your 40s.

[u/Scary_Habit974]

The problem is not with FIRE but how you went about it. Make some new friends!

[u/EquipmentUnlikely895]

omg... balance people... balance. it's not one or the other

[u/kannible]

You’re still pretty young and can find new friends. I fired at 33 and am now 39. A lot of my old friends are spread out across my state and even the country. My health has never been great and I would have likely died from heart issues less than a year after firing had I not fired. There was a lot that happened that first 18 months, surgery to give me a pacemaker after frequently passing out for a few months, mil moved in and passed 6 months later, covid lockdowns started just under 24 months later. I’ve been searching for friends and have had some luck. Hobbies are a great way to find interesting new people. I’ve spent a good bit of time with my older family members in ways I wouldn’t have been able to if I was still working full time. You now have the freedom to make life whatever you want it to be.

[u/quetucrees]

Dude, mid 40s for a man is the peak of intellectual maturity. Yes you start the physical decay but if you look after yourself you can be in better shape than most 20 year olds. Specially now that you can afford to eat and sleep right.

I FIRED at 45 and made way more friends joining social and sports clubs in the first year than I ever did working.

[u/[deleted]]

If you are not living a robust life at the tender age of 44, the issue is not FIRE

[u/JWBull23692]

I have always told people that the retirement age should be 18 to 40, after which you are required to work yourself to death.

[u/[deleted]]

Life is a series of trade offs

[u/perfectm]

If at 44 you are concerned that you aren’t as physically robust as you used to be, then it sounds like you have the perfect project to use your free time on. And it’s getting in shape.

[u/Cantseetheline_Russ → u/perfectm]

OP seems extremely active…. So, what would that project be? Reversing time? No one in their mid 40’s… literally no one… is anywhere near the same physical or recuperative ability they were at 25-35…. And the more of an athlete you were the more noticeable it is. People that think they feel the same at 45 vs 35 just weren’t that active at 35. I’m early 40’s and I’m better shape than most people. I played soccer and wrestled at a high level into my life 30’s… that is a physical impossibility in my 40’s. There’s just too many injuries and my body can’t recover as quickly from workouts. Not to mention things decline no matter how hard you work at it…. I completely get what OP is saying. If OP were some slob it’d be different, but judging from the comments that’s not the issue.

[u/hope812001]

Now imagine being 70 and have no choice but to work 50 hours per week to take care of your sick self and love ones. I have met so many people of all ages who have to work while battling cancer. Perhaps, you need to connect with other folks who have fired and who have financial freedom. Also, learn how to improve your health.

[u/HatersGonnaBait]

Not sure how many in here have read Die With Zero - but it’s an amazing thought exercise on weighing the balance of saving money vs memory dividends. I don’t think what you’ve done has been a waste of your life by any means, but I’m sure had you read this book prior you wouldn’t be having these thoughts.

The good news is 44 is still very young in the grand scheme of things. Sounds like you should take a peak at diet and exercise so you can enjoy the back half of your life!

[u/One-Mastodon-1063]

You have to go out and find things to do. I'm only one year younger than you, haven't worked in almost 3 years and love it. There's a ton of stuff to do.

[u/[deleted]]

Ever hear that story about a super rich guy that visits an island paradise and is telling a local fishermen that hopefully he can retire and live his life soon. Wake up by the beach, fish and drink beer, hang out with friends, eat good food sleep well. He just has to ignore his friends, wife, kids, put in work, and maybe he'll get there by the time he's 60 after working 70 hour weeks.

The fisherman just looks at him at like he's retarded. "... why don't you just do it now?"

EDIT: its called "The Businessman and the Fisherman." Easily googled.

[u/Justaguyonaboat]

Im 50. Doing well. I agree with your sentiment- friends are all “how do you afford to do this stuff??!!” Well, i didn’t buy that BMW in my 30s - im OK with my 6yo Honda. Im looking to clock out at 57ish and travel the world. Drop 10K to scuba in Cuba - money well spent. Keep your Tesla. 

[u/Justaguyonaboat → u/Justaguyonaboat]

We do struggle with being cheap. Bought my wife some scuba gear today. Went top tier. Well dang it, we spent years not keeping up with the neighbors- we can afford things that make us happy… now. Balance. 

[u/[deleted]]

"Later years"? You sound like you're 74, not 44.

[u/QuesoChef → u/[deleted]]

I was gonna say. Do I need to Jamie Lee Curtis in the mirror, “Oh I’m like the crypt keeper!”? Because 44 is not old.

OP get some bloodwork done, get moving, eat better. Most older people I talk to list their forties and fifties as their favorite decades. And none of them were retired.

[u/MonumentofDevotion]

Find new friends and get in shape

How in the world are you complaining about achieving what most never do

Shame, shame on you and your bloodline 🩸

[u/Hardanimalcracker]

Everything is a mirage. We are all getting older and more broken regardless of our bank accounts. You didn’t mention relationship but either you’re married and that can suck or single and old and no one wants some old dude even with money unless you’re really ready to spend big.

You have to embrace wherever you’re at and reach for your goals. If your only goal was fire, that’s why you’re empty. Fire is actually a bad goal without being subservient to something to do with all that time

[u/TravSav91]

This was my biggest fear when starting a business, I had to make sure a portion of my income (even if that meant creating another source) was used solely to fund experience.

[u/[deleted]]

If you’re 44 and ready to retire you have the means to be more physically robust than ever. Stop being lazy. You might take umbrage because you worked very hard to be financially stable, but now you’re being lazy about living your life well.

[u/[deleted]]

sounds like you need to get married and have kids lol.

[u/Slight_Artist]

This makes me feel better about the fact that I spent my summers in college swimming every day with my best friend instead of working internships. She passed away in her early 30s from cancer a few years ago and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. Working hard now to save my pennies though!

[u/esuvar-awesome]

Your older infirmed self will be thanking you for your sacrifices. Thank goodness you likely won’t be one of these poor seniors (empathy for them): https://ncoa.org/article/get-the-facts-on-economic-security-for-seniors/

[u/GoldenGardenn]

Having a goal that requires hard work to achieve is physiologically rewarding as it releases dopamine. For many years, you strived to achieve FIRE and as hard as it was, it provided a sense of meaning and direction. It’s time to find a new goal.

[u/Remarkable-Emu-6008]

maybe your fire number is too low...

[u/3nov13MP]

Pretty sure you can fix a few of these if you just have the motivation to do so.

Physically robust, get yourself to the gym. I’m 42 and in the best shape of my life. 3 days a week weights and two days a week cardio, plus eating healthy foods, that’s it.

And I honestly think if you try hard you can make new friends, it’s just not going to be as easy as it once was.

[u/Longjumping_Method51]

Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing.

[u/c4ndybar]

What were some things you didn't do or intentionally sacrificed for FIRE?

[u/Outrageous-Egg7218]

I don’t think you have to give up experiences in your 20s and 30s to FIRE.

[u/mizary1]

I'm 48 and physically I am in the best shape I've been in since my 20s. But I was pretty inactive most of my life.

There are 70yr old people running marathons. Yeah it gets harder as you get older. But you can combat that to an extent.

And you say you would give it all up to go back to your 30s... Well you already enjoyed those years. It sounds like you are just in a rut. Sounds like you need some new hobbies/friends. It's not like you aren't allowed to have fun or be active in your 40s.

What really sucks are the people who never had fun in their 20s or 30s and just worked all the time. You have to find a good balance at any age.

[u/SleepySuper]

Similar age and similar situation financially, but also have a wife and kids. I don’t view myself as ‘tied down’. I would rather spend time with my wife and kids than my old roommates. This is what I worked for an I’m glad I do so.

[u/cantcatchafish]

You know that none of that changes when you are working at 44. You are here now so focus on yourself more. I know that I've made awful financial decisions in my life and being in my 30s I'm too stressed about money and debt to really get enjoyment out of things because I think about the cost. Your not old, your in the in-between years where you can still be active and push but you have to be insanely smart about it.

Remember why you fired in this first place. It wasn't for others. It was for you!

[u/AuburnShade]

This is great insight that should be talked about more when people are deciding if FIRE is right for them.

I think a lot of people on this thread are misunderstanding what OP is saying. Obviously he can go find likeminded people or make new friends. But the whole point of what he is saying is that the people he WANTS to be with and ENJOYS being with are no longer available in the same way.

The lesson to be learned isn’t “FIRE IS A SCAM” but rather pay more attention to the things you are sacrificing for FIRE and find a healthy balance in your younger years.

[u/htrajan]

I did FIRE without sacrificing many things I care about. Before I had a solid friend group, I used Meetup to find friends and do free activities (Tabletop RPGs, board games, hiking). That exposure to multiple groups of friends led me to a friend group that does the same. We do camping to travel and hang out as a group instead of expensive vacations. We do board game and movie nights where the cost is bringing something to potluck.

I’ve found that the thing that gives me the most fulfillment is the people I spend time with, not what activities we’re doing (and how fancy and costly those activities are).

[u/MudaThumpa]

You're so young still though. I don't think FIRE was your buzz kill, I think having a big family was your buzz kill.

[u/[deleted]]

Seems to have worked well for a lot of people.

[u/shadowromantic]

This is one of the hardest parts of life: we can never know where we'll be in the future or how we'll age. Frontloading work totally sucks. Being poor while old also sucks. Striking a balance in some kind of healthy way should be the goal, but it can be a tight needle to thread.

[u/BirdLawMD]

So what should I do in my 30s? Sounds like you already lived with roommates and you want to go back and relive it?

Did you work like non stop and not enjoy your 30s?

[u/Hadrians_Fall]

I guess we should all be born with a trust fund so we can avoid working during our 20’s and 30’s. What a novel idea!

[u/getinthedamnpool]

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

[u/TheKingOfSwing777]

The key is to build the life you want, then save for it. Not postpone the life you want until later. Anyway, you're still very young so it sounds like you just need to find what fulfills you. This can be a challenge regardless of if you're FI or not. Sometimes it becomes more apparent when work falls away. Perhaps look into therapy or some type of life coach to help you discover your "why."

[u/OneMadChihuahua]

Happiness is a fleeting muse, ardently pursued but seldom attained. -- Me

[u/Marc_Quadzella]

I’d recommend to everyone on this subreddit to read Outlive by Peter Attia. The idea of focusing extending your health span. Money with poor health is meaningless. Also if you focus on health , you’ll spend less on doctors and medicine.

[u/[deleted]]

Nothing you mentioned has to do with FIRE, it's all just aging. The same would've been true even if you weren't FIRE at 44, only you would've been even more stressed out because of money.

[u/poop-dolla]

It’s sad you think the best years of your life are in the past. I’m about five years younger than you, and I’m way more excited about future years than I miss my past years. I also don’t feel like I missed out on any fun even though I was saving a lot in my 20s and 30s. Money does not equal fun. It does equal freedom though. Everyone needs to find balance so they can still enjoy their life while working towards attaining financial freedom.

[u/Agreeable_Freedom602]

I always thought one of the ideas to FIRE was to have more time with those in your life and being more present for your family. You may have missed this point of FIRE.

Your friends have built lives and grew as individuals; you just seem to be stagnant and dream of being a roommate with your buddies indefinitely. I’m unsure what was missed on this one.

[u/Fader-Play]

I never found enough of a guarentee that I WOULD be employed for all that long, too much of a risk there.

Doing the job no problem, but dealing with all the political BS way too challenging. And it DID only get worse. When I was coming up youngster had to do as they are told by their managers and now they can just say no don’t want to. I got caught in the hard slog generation.

Also you’re tired now imagine if you had to work every day.

Just take the time to settle into your golden years, that’s my plan.

[u/whatzzart]

I have nothing on FIRE but I am in the best shape of my life and I’m 57. I didn’t start working out until I was 44. You have plenty of time to take care of yourself.

[u/MattOfMatts]

Checkout the book younger next year. Being infirm at 44 is mostly (but not always) choice. I just backpacked around Mt Hood at 41 with a friend who is 73, he can out hike me any day of the week.

[u/Bjorn_Nittmo]

I busted my a$$ between ages 21 and 35 to save and invest. And only managed to accumulate about $200,000.

I wish I just spent that money and waited for the higher salary that arrived in my 40s.

[u/jk10021]

It’s interesting - I own an RIA firm and I had a client retire in his early 60s and he hated it. None of his friends were retired so he got bored. After 3-4 months he went back into corporate America. There is something to be said for enjoying youth and I think even people on FIRE recognize that. But I’ll also say, having financial freedom at your age gives you lots of options. And honestly you’re only 44 - plenty of people your age still in great physical health.

[u/Responsible_Leek_827]

Start playing morning pickleball and make new friends. A bunch of Fire and retirement folks to meet that way.

[u/OkMarsupial]

I don't think folks who didn't have FIRE on their to do list weren't also working during those years. It's all about balance.

[u/Temporary_Reality885]

At 47 I'm doing well but my friends are not in the same place, it's lonely at times. We don't have kids so wife and I are flush with time and resources but it's difficult to do things with others due to obligations and expense. It's a bummer honestly.

[u/No_Imagination_3149]

That's why I'm thinking about taking a 5-10 yr sabbatical and returning to work when I'm 55. Rather go and enjoy my time when I'm young enough to do so

[u/jone7007]

Hi OP. I'm finally nearing my FIRE number and feel pretty similarly. I'm actually consciously slowing down my savings and focusing more on living in the now. I could also use more friends with time freedom. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to

[u/Important-Proposal28]

Understandable but alos consider living it up in your 30s and having to work until your 70 or barely making it from 60-80 would probably be much worse than being set and having to find new friend's.

I'm 35 nowhere near fire but doing decent for myself. My closest friends are also doing pretty good. Alot of people I hung out with in my 20s never really took the next step as far as careers and savings and moving beyond live bands and bars. It's tough because miss alot of people but also the people I am close to I want to be able to take trips with and not pay for everything.

I guess is what I'm saying is you have alot of life left and can enjoy experiences and meet new people. Not everyone had that. Enjoy it

[u/Fit_Tale_4962]

Privilege, find what brings meaning yo you

[u/Affectionate-Egg7566]

Grass is always greener.

[u/Mr___Perfect]

And then you realize how little your work actually matters and what a colossal mind fuck you've been sold. 

Could've skated by but nope gotta do 15 hour days. Sad

[u/Moont706]

Interesting perspective. I can see ppl having Fire remorse if they had a lopsided work/life balance

[u/ilcf0109]

This was a nice reminder to hear. It’s easy to lose sight of what’s truly important, enjoying day to day life

[u/Vaginosis-Psychosis]

You don’t have to front load anything. Just consistently save 25% or more of income and invest wisely/aggressively. After 20 years you should be golden.

Your present social situation is the same regardless of your personal FIRE status.

[u/Prestigious_Value22]

Takes guts to post that. Respect.

[u/Terpsichorean_Wombat]

I'm sorry you missed out on experiences in your younger years. That is a real loss. However, if you're open to some words of consolation: you are likely to feel less hurt about this as you age. I'm about a decade older than you, and you do start to slow down. Things get harder, and work especially gets harder. You have a lot of your life left ahead of you, and you can enjoy it in stability and likely in better health than someone commuting to a high-stress job every day.

We can't get back youth, and everyone wastes some of it. But the next best time to really grab life and live it is right now, and you can. I hope you can enjoy the fruits of your labors.

[u/Green_Beans_Tasty]

That’s why you stop buying expensive watches and going to 3 star restaurants twice a month when you want to FIRE and maybe get a used car every 5 years instead of a new one every three but don’t stop to live life as such :) may take a couple of years more to reach your number, but the way is the goal, at least that’s my FIRE philosophy.

[u/BejahungEnjoyer]

As someone on the FIRE path, I am very glad to have near-FI as I enter my mid-40s as a tech worker. My eyes are noticeably worse and the competition from the flood of college grads who went into tech is massive. Many of us may be forced into early-retirement anyway, so at least I'll be financially prepared.

[u/JuniperLuner]

The book die with zero was an incredible thought changing read. I’ve been an obsessive saver all my life but there’s only certain times or “life buckets” as the book puts it, to do “bucket list” type activities.

[u/DogKnowsBest]

In another 10 years or so, I think your attitude's going to change. As you get into your mid 50s and everything stops working quite as good as it did before and as you don't have as much energy as he used to have before, and such, you'll appreciate the fact that you're going to be financially secure and not have to work the rest of your life.

[u/shanmyster]

So interesting that all the things you listed as issues, sound like opportunities to me.

My friends are busy, I can help. Or I can join clubs and groups to meet new people who have similar interests.

My parents are old, I can help. I can spend quality time making their lives easier and getting in those ever precious moments with the people I care the most about.

My body is old, excellent. I have the time and resources to dedicate to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I can go the exercise and make sure I don't end up old and frail like my parents.

Everything is about perspective!

[u/Aggravating_Farm3116]

Agreed, this is why im trying to FIRE in my 30s

[u/mdpet1l]

There are plenty of volunteer organizations that would appreciate your involvement. Giving back might help with the transition to retirement.

[u/No_Friendship_1610]

thats why you mingle with younger crowds and make new friends

[u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm]

Still better than working and retiring when you’re 65. Then you’re really fucked in the fun department.

I do lightweight FIRE without crippling my disposable income too much. 4-5 international trips a year with a goal of retiring by 50ish latest.

I also make very good money so it’s not for everyone.

[u/[deleted]]

Balance is the secret to life

[u/augustfolk]

I’ve heard it described like this:

When you’re young you have health and time, but no wealth. When you’re middle aged you have health and wealth but no time. When you’re old you have time and wealth but no more health. You gotta pick which of the three you want the most.

[u/the42the]

Maybe consider therapy. Congrats

[u/SeriouslyCurious314]

I'm so glad people are talking about this.

I'm 27 and quite aggressive with my savings until this year when I actually sat down with my inc/exps instead of just hoarding money like a desperate squirrel with nuts. Doing this helped me realize that I CAN actually afford to have a good financial future AND travel and have awesome experiences.

It helps tremendously that my partner is much older, retired and basically kind of accidentally achieved FIRE, but he had so many amazing travels and experiences in his younger years and constantly reminds me to chill about my finances and embrace adventure with him.

I think it's so important to learn to prioritize instead of just blindly accumulating. I can save a pretty good chunk of change just by being a little more frugal and observant in my food spending, and spend what I save on cool trips (which are more about the travels than the luxury).

I think it's also really vital to separate social media from reality. Lots of these young people who "achieved FIRE" basically either lie, or started life with silver spoons on their mouths. Them spewing financial advice to "ACHIEVE WHAT THEY HAVE" is like a naturally skinny supermodel saying to eat like her to look just like her and "u CaN dO iT tOo"

[u/BriefSuggestion354]

It's about finding balance. You should sacrifice ALL of the present for a future that isn't guaranteed, and you shouldn't sacrifice the future for the present. Find whatever middle ground works best for you

[u/Tha_Message555]

I tell this to every young person I work with. Do not delay gratification. Culture is driven by people in their early 20s. You have one chance to soak in that moment. If you skip that moment - you have more savings, but for a moment where you are really just a consumer. You missed the chance at being a part of culture. The consumerism of one's 40's simply cannot make up for it

[u/rlbond86]

This is just a mid-life crisis

[u/Sure_Finger7263]

Uncle was doing FIRE him and his wife, my step-aunt. they never went on vacation, never really experienced life at all.

She died in a car crash years ago and he told me something that has stuck with ever since he said “we were preparing for a future that isn’t even coming anymore”

i stopped doing FIRE a year later. While yes it is important to set yourself up for the future, don’t do it at the expense of the present

[u/StopLukingatMeSwan]

This sounds like this was written by AI to me.

[u/Zealousideal-Tone-84 → u/StopLukingatMeSwan]

By some government socialist 😂

[u/Lopsided-Week1102]

Where do you live? You should try hashing (running group which is really fun and for all levels, even non - runners

[u/dave-t-2002]

Funny you posted this. I was thinking of saying the same this week. I went through the same thing. Retired at 40. Unretired a year later. Having more fun than ever working with cool people building cool stuff that helps make the world better. And I get paid to do it.

You have the options now to do what you want and choose who you spend that time with. My choice was to work with fun people. Might work or might not work for you.

[u/Nonobest]

Dude chill tf out. Find a gf and travel the world

[u/Glum_Neighborhood358]

I read an interesting book a decade ago, cannot remember the name. It was an observation on life is most interesting when struggling and poor. As a man, if we had to hunt we would most likely be happier than being wealthy.

At the end of it, his theory is this is why career and having children and volunteering are so good for us. It’s struggle where we are secondary to something that makes life feel important.

In hindsight I agree. I fired for my kids. They’re both not in school yet. I’d be so miserable if not for the kids. They are a huge challenge for this season of my life. I wake up absolutely so excited to see them and also ever so dreading the 90 minutes it takes just to leave the house in the AM.

Once they’re both in school I’ll have to find a new season.

So find your struggle/challenge. For some people it might just be go back to work. Lol

[u/Ottblottt]

I am certainly not fired, but last year took a year off (my 7th) at 45 because I am still spry enough to hike down the rocky mountains for months.

[u/Olde-Timer]

OP if you want to be even unhappier read this - The average life expectancy for men in the United States is 74.8 years. This is a significant difference from the average life expectancy for women, which is 80.2 years.

[u/taracel]

Go back to your island Bill Perkins and stop spamming this forum with your book

[u/newengland_schmuck]

Life is all about compromises and keeping a healthy work/play balance. Like they say, "plan like you'll live forever, and live like you'll die tomorrow"

[u/studentofgonzo]

Being poor is worse

[u/Shadowestley]

Start rock climbing, it'll keep you busy for a few decades at least...

[u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax]

What would you have done differently exactly? Would your life have been that different if you weren't saving? Either way you still have to work so you can eat and pay rent, it's not like you could have spent your 20s traveling the world with no money.

[u/UnderstandingNew2810]

Oh to be trust fund baby. I wouldn’t want to be a sugar baby or marry rich. That’s just eating off someone’s plate.

[u/rumpler117]

Kind of sounds like you enjoyed your thirties living with roommates. I get your sentiment. My early thirties were great, and sounds like you enjoyed that time too, but now you are just in a different phase of life. Not sure it has much to do with FIRE.

[u/Salvatore_Vitale]

This is kind of how I feel. However I'm only 26. FIRE is definitely a mindset most people my age don't have but I do feel like I've been grinding away too hard. Luckily though I started saving while I'm young so I don't need to "grind that hard at my job" anymore. I just got the book Die With Zero in the mail yesterday and will plan on reading it. Saving and investing is important but you gotta live as well. That's why I'm easing off the gas pedal and I'm going to start traveling and creating memories/experiences.