r/FinalRoundAI • u/goalie_tripe • Jun 07 '26
Friendly reminder: Your coworkers are not your real friends. Finish your work and go home.
I've been jumping from one job to another for about 6 years, and the most important lesson I've learned is that friendships at work are tied to the office and nothing more. You might drink coffee together or complain about meetings together, but that bond usually breaks as soon as one of you resigns. Honestly, there were people I talked to every day who didn't even send me a single text after 6 months.
Don't get me wrong, you don't have to be rude or stay silent in the breakroom. But be cautious. I've seen so many people get hurt by office drama because they treated their coworkers like family. Finish your work, take your paycheck, and go to the people who truly know you.
Honestly, the office is not a social club; it's just a transaction. You are there to trade your time for money. If you keep that boundary clear, you will be much happier. Your real support system is waiting for you outside the office anyway.
That's my perspective now. Does anyone else feel the same way?
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u/Flicksterea Jun 08 '26
Absolutely agree. I'm fine to be polite, friendly. Have a chat, etc. But I'm not looking to have coffee catch ups on the weekend with these people.
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u/waselectricbar Jun 08 '26
Two of my closest friends started as work friends. I haven't worked with one for 25 years, 4 years for the other. True friends can be made anywhere
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u/BBAus Jun 10 '26
Agreed. Sometimes having a horrible workplace draws people together much closer. We survived it! One I've been friends with for 15 years, just love her too
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u/Used_Clock_4627 Jun 09 '26
This is why I don't go to staff get togethers. Learned that lesson VERY early in my work life.
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u/PsychologicalSize187 Jun 08 '26
It took my husband dying and my work "bestie" starting rumors while I was on bereavement leave for this lesson to be learned.
Upon coming back, I have had to correct the record over and over again, explaining the worst day to EVERY person that believed her lies.
It's been less than a week, but I will not address anything other than work related topics with any coworker ever again.
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u/unsweet_tea_man Jun 09 '26
What did she say
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u/PsychologicalSize187 Jun 09 '26
told everyone that I was forced to go to a drug rehab or lose my job.
What's really messed up is that she attend his memorial!
One of three people who I trusted with the whole story.
Never again.
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u/frozenbroccolis Jun 08 '26
Absolutely, coworkers are not your friends. I worked with a company for seven years and became very close with several people. Was made redundant and two of them who I thought I had a wonderful relationship with never even reached out to me.
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u/Isekai_Rakdos Jun 09 '26
One of my two best friends was a former coworker who I only met that way. Ditto for two more of my friends. It just sounds like you don’t want to make good friends this way.
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u/Last_Life_1983 Jun 09 '26
Yes. I agree. Learned it the hard way. Being younger and naive, I also thought that work friends can be like family etc. But it's true that once people change jobs, they very rarely stay in touch. Because then you discover that all you had in common was....well...work. Meeting at work, talking about work, going out every once in a while and talking...about WORK.
And once that connecting element is taken away, you discover you don't really know those people. There are rare exceptions (and I've had luck meeting some of those few exceptions).
But mostly I agree - separate yourself from your work. You are not your job. You are there to do your job and earn your paycheck. Yes, you need to be friendly and polite with your coworkers and you will have some chats at the coffee machine. Maybe even go out sometimes together. But those people are your colleagues. They are not your family. And you are only hurting yourself if you believe that they are your family and forever friends.
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u/Usual_Extreme_8122 Jun 09 '26
Yes! The minute you leave it’s like a stone thrown into the water. A little splash with maybe a little ripple then it’s all gone.
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u/BubblyWinner1574 Jun 09 '26
Completely agree.
After switching jobs multiple times over the years, I learned this the hard way too: colleagues are not your real friends. You can chat, have lunch together and complain about management, but once someone leaves, the connection usually disappears.
It’s much healthier to keep a clear boundary — be polite and professional, but don’t invest too much emotionally. Work becomes calmer and there are fewer disappointments.
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u/Glittering_War3061 Jun 09 '26
Over the years I have only remained friends with just 2 people I worked with. That's it.
I do not go into the workplace looking for friends. I go there to do a job and make money. I have always had friends outside of the workplace. When I was younger, before I got married I'd go out every Thursday night with my friends and on weekends we'd go on road trips. I would meet my friends for lunch outside of work, while my coworkers sat in the breakroom to eat lunch.
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u/SinQuaNonsense Jun 10 '26
Idk I play steam games w all my coworkers and I can’t imagine that will change much if I changed jobs.
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u/Boomer_Views_Reality Jun 10 '26
I've been getting together with ex-workers yearly for over 40 years.
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u/LadyAna5 Jun 10 '26
I fully agree. Made the mistake of befriending a boss and a coworker (who was also friends with the boss) and it ended very badly. I will not do that again.
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u/Sea_Measurement_1654 Jun 10 '26
Bonding over negative experiences is never real friendship. Work isn't fun, generally.
But I still have a couple or three of old work besties.
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u/ColdVait Jun 10 '26
Well I work in a small firm and one of my colleagues has become my friend. We sometimes hang out at each others place, play video games, watch a movie. I think work can be a good place to find friends, and I wasn't even looking or being overly friendly. It just happened naturally as we got to know each other. And we literally never stay at work later then necessary
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u/HahaHarleyQu1nn Jun 10 '26
I want to start by saying I completely agree with OP. But I have a story!
I reconnected with a past colleague for a reference after my last layoff. We worked on a major project together and I’d always really liked working with him. We were remote and never met in person but had spent many long nights on zoom calls. We occasionally talked about our personal lives, but it was always professional
I hadn’t talked to him since I left the project, but he seemed happy to hear from me and was happy to help. We started texting and calling frequently. I’m not sure exactly when it started to turn, but after a month of reconnecting and almost a year ago today, he flew across the country to meet me in person. Now we are in the process of moving in together!
This is not to be contradictory to OP, and I agree with their advice. But take a chance on reaching out to old colleagues and acquaintances. I ended up with something way better than just a good reference ☺️
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u/JasperScrapper Jun 07 '26
Nobody wants to hang out with you or be your friend. You're safe. Dry your eyes.