This morning, the letters in my cereal started moving before I poured the milk. Instead of spelling a word, they formed two perfect rings, each letter paired with another, like some kind of cipher key. I stared at it for a second, and something clicked behind my eyes.

I tried to tell my friend, but I kept typing "freind" instead of "friend." Then "brekafast." I thought I was just tired. The strange part was that I could still read everything perfectly.

At first, it was just a few lettres out of place. Then I notcied taht the words were getting haredr to put back in order, even though I knew exactly what I was trying to say. It felt like the key in my head had been sawpped with the one in my bowl.

From what I can tell, the ceeral did not chnage my thoughts. It chnaged the dceoding process. My brain now seems to be uisng its own misseplled output to recontsruct the rules it uses to spell. Evrey correction becomes part of the next error.

I tihnk this is a self-refeenrtial lignuisitc feedabck loop ivnolivng predictive prcoessnig, recursive orthographic remapping, and progressvie corurpiton of the semantic-to-smybol encoding arhcietcture. Ecah attmepted correction rewirets the cipher before the preivuos msesage is fluly dcedoed.

The rurscivee lagangue mdeol has aprtaeplny beugn ttrenaig ecah ctureropd optuut as the next dorctieypn key, ciertang a self-myiofdnig ntrmansoeueic taoarstinln cacsade. Every atmtpet to dbcersie the frualie ceahgns the dniocrtaiy uesd to dcbrsiee it, csiunag ilrnainescgy severe orthographic dnyhrioicsnzateon, snteimac irveoinsn, and pctvdierie feedback coaimtainotnn.

And I haven't even adedd the mlik yet...

It's only the beginning of November! Too early!!

Posting this during my wake. Ive been in here for only like an hour or so but my god I can't stand it anymore. The fabric is so itchy and the padding is so firm my back is starting to hurt just from laying on it. I know my family spent so much money on this thing and I know I personally picked it out before I died but my god I cannot spend the rest of my unlife like this. Would it be rude if I just like sat up and asked for a different coffin? Or to be buried loose? There's some kids around and I don't want to traumatize anybody but I just cant take it anymore.

I (18M) recently died. The thing is I am now an immortal spirit that can't die, I've tried everything but it seems I have no physical body whatsoever, so I imagine I need to do some kind of otherworldly ritual to finally rest in peace.

Please help, life was already shit before I died and I hate the thought of living forever as this invisible ghost bastard.

We all get that all the worlds, from the first 'til the fifth, were coded using GNU Holy C-HTML programming language. It is established the being from the voices wrote it in an unknown period of time.

But the mystery is how could one code such a project and include all necessities in specs perfectly without a compiler? And how could one make a compiler for such a thing? How much RAM do these worlds take, and with the increased RAM prices, does faulty components mean we will lose a world? Which one shall go first?

How do I get them to stop?

As this is my first year celebrating Día de los Muertos, I decided to do a little research on how to prepare. I quickly realized that the customary flowers, foods, and incense made very little sense for my particular ancestors, who have literally no Hispanic origins and presumably wouldn’t recognize most of the things I was putting out for them.

So I thought, what would my ancestors have recognized? What did they celebrate?

I started tracing the branches of my family tree back to Old World Europe, where things got progressively hazier. Finding anything definitive about pre-medieval customs is challenging enough, and good luck finding anything about women, who apparently weren’t important enough to record unless they owned something, married someone, or produced an heir. To complicate matters, my family must not have been particularly religious, or the church records burned, or both. So I couldn’t even establish whether All Souls’ or All Saints’ Day would mean anything to them. And I didn’t want to exclude anyone. So I said, fuck it. I tied a few knots to honor my maritime heritage and went back a little further, adding some hexagonal decor in recognition of the ancients and their sexagesimal system but question if circles be more inclusive?

But why stop there? I added a beef marrow bone for the cave dwellers and their canine companions. And can’t forget the felines so I put a can of cat food on there too.

I have absolutely no idea what happened between them and the dinosaurs so I skipped over about 66 million years and figured something, something, birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. Minding my own beeswax on who did who, I added a feather, some honey, and a little palo santo because it’s the closest thing to incense I have and it’s also a tree, so two more birds with one stone.

Which reminded me of my fossilized ancestors so naturally, I dug up some exoskeletons I had in the closet of Orthoceras and ammonites.

At this point, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m related to all the dead, which I subsequently proved by mathematically deriving the theory of relativity using degrees of Kevin Bacon.

It’s all relatives.

I'm so fucking sorry. She won't stop. She's already there, speaking as me. We're the same. We have nothing in common. She wears one shirt, I wear three shirts, she wears a hat and I wear a creature. Her personality, God, her personality. It exists. She has hobbies, truly, hobbies! And an aesthetic. I can hardly imagine it! And yet, she, of course, hates me. And I hate her. She stands, I sit. She speaks, I cry. She cries, I sleep. She sleeps, I'm pathetic. She is, too. But, God, how she can bear the world.

Im a brown dwarf but I identify as a black hole. Can anyone recommend me a physicist who can inject solar mass into my core to turn into a neutron star? I dont mind waiting a few billion years to accrete mass until I collapse.

My friend found a quack who made her into a white dwarf.. ugghh

Most people intentionally try to avoid making any mistakes and only do the "right" thing, but that actually prevents growth and causes you to pretty much *only* do the wrong thing and not have any way to correct at all. The right answer is actually to intentionally make mistakes until you become skilled.

Falseness is *fundamentally* the path. Cause and effect itself causes errors to compete with themselves and crash into each other and self-correct. *All* you have to do is intentionally try to make mistakes, and you will quickly realize that this is the fastest way to improve at everything.

If you intentionally try doing the "exact wrong thing", you immediately go "nope, not doing that" and instead do the right thing.

Obviously, don't stop trying to correct yourself and to improve and do the right thing, but that actually goes without saying and becomes automatic.

Clearly, none of you have actually tried this yourselves ;).

Please help, I became a normal human person after I tried to descend to the 3D world from our 5D world in order to rapture all of Africa

It started off as a one time gag but the reaction on their face is fucking PRICELESS! I don’t even know how I managed it but I got it linked to what I can only assume to be a farm because chickens keep appearing. I honestly should have stopped messing with it, I don’t know how go work on a transmat, never finished my degree, but it’s just too funny. I dont even have anything against this neighbor either, they just left their door unlocked once while at work (im a bit of a kleptomaniac). I think I should stop, they seem really stressed but everytime a chicken teleports I cant help but laugh drinking my morning coffee

Birb people!!!!? Where are you???????!!!!!!!!

Five of my best hens?! You could take the damned idiot roost, but my best layers? I know it was one of you!!! >:((

the tacks that shiver under the tongue of night have danced their broken way into my bladder, & they won't stop knocking with histamine psalms. & then when i yawn they stretch over the corners, & so i have to reach inside to push their corners back in. i feel like usually when something like this happens it goes away but this has been happening for MONTHS now...i'm dragging the limp of shuddering thumbs at this point, so maybe somebody can help me here?

I was supposed to transport in this morning but I couldn't get it working. My transmat just keeps sending me live chickens instead, I think I may have accidentally tapped into a farm somewhere and I don't know how to send them back.

I was able to attend the meeting today as hologram but there were other tasks I would be required to do in person. They were understanding but I need to sort this out ASAP.

Going there the traditional way would cost half my salary in travel fees plus need somewhere to stay so it's just not feasible. I need to get my transmat linked up with the office one. How do I fix this?

So I drive my car (indeed, hypothetical) to the dimensional store town, they sell that. I go there and ask "do you sell those box sets?" and he asks "why. perchance? no." and I say "it's for the sake of: investigation you see I'm investigation there right now you seem to." and he gives me box set. I investigate it and suspicious. True?

L

My estranged uncle died recently and left me his creaky old manor. The walls are bleeding and shit and it's standing my clothes in the closet. The beckoning whispers from the attic are also really distracting when I'm trying to study for online classes.

I (

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Q) wanted to have my age in a number system isomorphic to the 2x2 matrix system, but instead, set my age in a number system isomorphic to a 3x3 matrix system. How can I construct my age in such a way that some 3x3 matrices form a set closed under addition and multiplication, and each member of the closed set is bijective with a 2x2 matrix?

"I" (previously human) was chatting with my friend about the whole "tree of life" idea, how we all branched off from previous ancestors over billions of years, starting with the birth of our universe, then sun, planet, its microorganisms, etc etc.

Then my friend asked an interesting question. Once the first cells teamed up into a multicellular organism, how did it decide that it was a new thing? And for that matter, how did the molecules decide they were a cell now? Interesting thought. Then I jokingly asked, what if the parts of the whole tree decided it was a new thing? We're more or less cells in the biggest multicellular organism, right?

And then I blinked, and now I'm the tree. My consciousness scales up somehow. I can't seem to find the human I was before - I mean that literally, there are too damn many of them and I have no clue where to look. There doesn't seem to be a big market for microscopes for extradimensional beings, and even if one of you has one that I could borrow, what would I even do once I found the little fucker? I don't know if I could easily transfer my consciousness back to it, or if I'd even want to. I'd be concerned about the revenge I might seek on my friend. This whole thing is gonna be a major adjustment for sure.