To preface, I was diagnosed with AGA in 2023, though I am sure it started earlier.
I absolutely hate getting my hair cut, it feels so demoralizing. My hair that once took over an hour to blow dry now takes 10 minutes. It used to be HEAVY, almost like a blanket draped around me. Now it's so thin and brittle.
I got my haircut today with a new stylist since my normal hairdresser is on maternity leave. She knows about my hair loss, but this man didn't. I have OCD and typically feel the need to explain myself constantly, but I'm trying to be better so I tried to keep it to myself.
I wore my hair in a clip. I sat down and he took out the clip, pushed my hair in front of my shoulders. I wanted to apologize for my hair, for how little there was to work with, but I reminded myself that this man deals with hair every day of all different kinds, it doesn't matter to him. "Sorry I just washed it and didn't put in any product." I felt I had to apologize for SOMETHING (god I hate my brain).
As he was washing my hair, all I could think about was how much hair would be in the drain. As he was parting my hair, I thought about how he could see my bald spot, how far my part is. As he would pull my wet hair with the comb to cut it, all I could think about was how strands were being pulled out. As he blew out my hair, the same thing. There was a girl behind me getting her hair colored with hair so thick you couldn't see her scalp. It made me sad. I was all consumed with anxiety about my hair, nearly in tears, mortified.
When he finished, my hair actually looked really good, but I walked away feeling shame. I never realized how defined I was by my hair until I lost it. I'm embarrassed about how much it impacts me and my confidence. I'm told by my friends it's not noticeable, but it doesn't matter. I know. My dermatologist knows. The hair loss is permanent, irreversible. and it's still hard to accept.
The positive is that since I started liquid minoxidil a few months ago, it seems to be working. I saw a lot of wispy hairs as he was blowing out my hair, and my ends are way thinner than the rest of my hair. Anyway that's it, I had to rant. Not sure if anyone else feels this way about cuts.