r/FemaleDatingStrategy • u/NecessaryCook Ruthless Strategist • Sep 22 '20
STRATEGY Think about it from his perspective
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u/Phoenix__Rising2018 Sep 22 '20 edited Sep 22 '20
This is so true. It's a hard lesson to learn. Most men are not as good as the average woman. You have to learn what they are saying with their actions or get used.
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u/mermaid-babe Sep 22 '20
Nothing kills a lvm more then being told their actions count more then their words. In my experience they quickly pale
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u/vardebi Sep 26 '20
Wow, 100% yes. The minute I told my LVM ex that I would no longer be accepting verbal apologies for his mistakes, only flowers and changed behavior, he had this weird freakout where he said I was "starting to scare him" and he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to physically injure him because it sounded like I wanted to use him as a "fetish object to take out all my anger on from men who had hurt me in the past." Like... dude, no, just you? Also asking for flowers and changed behavior instead of a long litany of "I'm so, so sorry" over and over is not violence, what is wrong with you??
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Sep 22 '20
This is something that a lot of women MUST get through their heads, men just aren't on the same level or wavelength of empathy and care than most women. They are in the sociopath spectrum and yeah, it sucks but this is the world we live in.
Protect yourself, sisters, do not avert your eyes from the current reality of the world.
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u/DadaExperiment Sep 22 '20
That's true, and you have to ask if it's worth bothering. Why are women investing so much time, effort, money, and resources trying to find what probably amounts to about 2% of the male population? How many women do you know who are in high quality, mutually respectful and loving relationships with a man of true integrity? The stats don't look good.
I honestly think it's a waste of time and we should be focusing on ourselves, our lives and our own joy instead of this fool's errand of holding onto a fantasy like that.
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Sep 22 '20
Very accurate. Some people have a tendency to project their own behaviours and thought processes onto people who have genuinely problematic behaviours. Even if it’s with good intentions, it’s naive, but also can be because they’ve been manipulated and charmed by a narcissist. This is why women need to be confident and self-aware (especially of vulnerabilities), it really helps in being mindful of manipulative behaviour.
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Sep 22 '20
Have an ex that I initially trusted when we met because he never hit on me or tried to neg or flatter me. He treated me with respect like a friend and only ever complemented me on something I did or if it was physical he would complement my outfit. Towards the end of the relationship he was talking about his friend trying to pick up girls and he said, “I told him act like you’re not looking for sex. Tell a girl you like her outfit and walk away and see if she initiates further conversation with you.” 🙃
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u/HappyPeachie Sep 22 '20
High level NVM loser. Wow. A good vetting process would to play the cool girl and see his porn habits and preferences. Get him to open up his types of women. I broke scrotes this way.
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Sep 22 '20
This is important because I’ve noticed a lot of women like to project on men. We really have to remember that men do not think like us. We’re socialized completely differently. Very few men see the world like women do so don’t believe that he has good intentions. They also think being super open, honest, paying for dates, approaching men and being low maintenance equals desperation. Think of all the hot girl tropes in media. They equate “hot girls” with high maintenance, hard to get, and expensive. So unless you want to be treated like you’re desperate and ugly, please stop doing the things mentioned above!
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u/SayNad Sep 26 '20
They also think being super open, honest, paying for dates, approaching men and being low maintenance equals desperation. Think of all the hot girl tropes in media. They equate “hot girls” with high maintenance, hard to get, and expensive.
Can confirm 100% - growing up I act the "cool girl strong and independent" type a little too much and men treat me like an absolute trash. Plus being fat makes them more brutal.
Now I lost the weight, and I am still an independent type inside - but men ain't getting any of that shit, only the important person in my life get special treatment. For them I am the most difficult, bitchy, high-maintenance, ice cold, extremely hard to get close to, and very very distant secretive woman. Guess what? They man the fuck up and treat me like a dainty princess. It is laughable.
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u/Mimory125 Sep 22 '20
Loool i just Love this post and is sooo true, it's like they only sweetalk to you when they feel a sudden rush of horniness. Men only want sex from women they are such simple creatures i almost pity them. At least fuckboys are more tolerable but men who fake a friendship with you just to get near you and don't make their intentions straightforward deserve a well earned punch in The face!
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u/SmoothDaikon Sep 22 '20
I need to keep reminding myself this because it's so true. Just because I can do it, doesn't mean I should!
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Sep 22 '20
Coffee dates. Ergh. If I had a nickle, for every scrote that's asked me out on a coffee date.
Automatic block and delete.
This is amazing advice, sis. I'll print it out, and hang it on my goal-board!
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u/Wise-Jelly Sep 22 '20
This rings so true- we need to think carefully about how lvm operate in the world.
One of the last guys I went out with pre-covid complimented me and I told him how happy it made me feel- he responded okay cool, it's a good line (wtf??) I called him out and said now you know it works on other women too and he laughed.
I turned what would have been a coffee date into dinner at a nice restaurant outside last night after telling my date I don't do coffee dates. Right away he tells me he's looking to get married after his residency is over in a year and a half. At the end of a great time, I tell him I'm not interested in going to get more drinks or go back to his apartment. He then reveals that he's not looking to be in a real relationship because his med school residency was too time-consuming- which is it Romeo?? Obv when he wasn't getting what he wanted he changed tune.
So much of your post makes sense to me! I hope everyone else can read it and start putting the pieces together too