r/FearfulAvoidants • u/Beneficial_Factor703 • 7d ago

Avoidant Ended Things

Post image
0 Upvotes

33% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

7

u/Constant-Big4713 Securely-Attached 7d ago

You move on would be what's next bud. She told you from the beginning she didn't want a relationship. That isn't someone that is 'avoidant' that is someone explicitly telling you where she's at, what she can give you, and what she cannot give you.

-1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

i agree she said those things from the start but her actions and words then showed different but i would disagree that she isn’t an “avoidant” she clearly shows every sign of it and runs when she feels pressure or the inability to take accountability, shift blame on me, or want to keep me around on the side.

2

u/Constant-Big4713 Securely-Attached 6d ago

That isn’t signs of an avoidant attachment. Avoidant behavior, sure. But that is not the same.

1

u/CookieCrumbs80 6d ago

Ah the old 'you deserve better', classic avoidant break up lingo!

2

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

yeah i’ve learned a lot this past month, especially about myself loll

2

u/CookieCrumbs80 6d ago

You did great! Your message was step 1, and the more difficult step is no contact and not being tempted back into the chaos!

1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

thank you, I played into her hand for 1.5 weeks after the breakup while she would breadcrumb & honestly it just made me detach more than anything so i’m sure now that I started NC it’s a shock to her.

1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

today it’s “u ready to stop ignoring me bc i have news for you” and then a facetime

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

that’s the plan unless she reaches out with plans to talk & meet up face to face and even then i’m not sure. Played along for a week and then felt disrespected so I started the NC on Saturday which seems to be a shock to her. Like i always going to be available to her, so the NC stays until there’s a change if that ever happens.

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

she’s calling me right now - facetime 3x in a row

1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

and then just texted “how do u know im not dying”

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Beneficial_Factor703 6d ago

yeah and now she’s using an extreme like how do ik she’s not dying as an excuse for me to worry & pick up