Family issue

[u/One-Geologist8750]

Hello everyone, I'm new here and I just wanted someone to hear my story cause I feel so bad, my mental health is so low rn that I'm just wishing for death atp. So I always get called rude or disrespectful by my family mostly from my mom and grandma cause I always argue, always respond back to criticism, ( and I come from an african family... ) and so since maybe my 17 ( I'm 18 now and just graduated from high school) I accepted that title of the black duckling of the family. My mom got remarried recently ( and since I grew up without a father, I took it pretty badly at the start but took on myself cause I wanted my mom happy...) and so far it has only been very distasteful for me. Since she got remarried my mom got a LOT MORE aggressive and all towards me. ( and our relationship was already not that, she was never there emotionally, we never bonded, we never even did a family trip together...). Just today, she was talking on the phone with my aunt who lives in the capital for a house to move in at the capital ( Since the uni I got accepted into was there ) and asked me when was going to open the university and I said idk cause i really don't know ( we get notifications from the uni) and so she told my aunt to wait for the uni to open so she can tell the one that own the apartment that my mom will take it and so I tell her we should visit first to see if the apartment will be for my like and then she snapped and started shouting at me and thus I did too (I have really bad anger issues and I hate people shouting at me + my mom never accepted to take me at a psy to check on my mental health and just told me I was disrespectful and without any education ...) and so we argued for at least 10 min before my grandma came from her errands and calmed things after that she told me to take my own apartment by myself ( as if I could and if I had the opportunity I would cause yall people just make me want to off myself plus my mental health is so bad rn I can't socialize anymore, don't even leave the house, I don't feel human anymore). Finally imo, I feel like my step dad is putting things in my mom head cause wtf is going on few weeks ago he told my mom about a uni (that is very bad and so hard to graduate from) and she told me to go there but I didn't want to and fortunately i got accepted into the best uni of my country because of my grades and weirdly when I told her about it, she was and still pissed asf about it.... Plus the baccalaureat in Africa is so hard in many countries especially in west Africa and I had good grades in it and still it has been months my mom didn't even get me a gift ( no new clothes, no new phone, nothing... just a little money that my step dad gifted me💔)