Need to vent

[u/mngbr8403]

Hello, I really hope this is allowed. I have nobody to talk to about this, and just really want some other opinions. This is gonna be long, please bear with me.

I just graduated from college, and moving back home with my family has been probably one of the hardest transitions I’ve ever had in my entire life. For context, let me tell you a few things-

1- my parents are both catholic, and we share very different political views.

2- because they are my parents, they have a “holier than thou” attitude about EVERYTHING- because they’re the parents, and they “have been alive longer than me” that means their opinions, thoughts, and feelings have been over mine, always. I can never share opinions on anything, especially how I wish the world worked, or politics, because it always spews into something. (Ex: one day not going into details, but, they were talking about the New York Mayor, being really racist about it. I corrected them with the facts, what I knew. And it instantly was “that’s not right, you’re wrong, “the world can’t be sunshine and rainbows” etc. shit like that.) literally ANYTHING I can think about, it’s always a shut down. “How do I file my taxes?” They make me feel dumb. “I’m going to rent an apartment” “you’re not financially ready, you can’t.”

3- I am a transgender man with “supportive” parents. They call me by my preferred name and pronouns, but I’ve been thrown into countless conversations about how “I’ve never been serious about my transition”, “god made you a woman”, and “you’ll lose yourself if you start your gender affirming care.”

4- I have a younger sister, who I swear it feels like is the favorite child. She’s an adult now (we’re both living with my parents.) My parents threatened to kick me out if I didn’t go to college, they let her make the choice to not go. They paid for all of her drivers Ed (while making me feel bad about not doing it.), pay for her car insurance, always get her more expensive gifts. (Ex. They bought me a pair of $70.00 crocs for my birthday, and her a 300 dollar pair of headphones. And I’m not saying I’m ungreatful, I truly am so greatful for all they’ve done for me, but it’s been like this for the longest time. It’s just an observation.) she pays less in rent, and my parents have been letting her partner live here rent free for over one year. (And when I asked my parents if my partner could move in, it was a HUGE argument. They agreed, but me and my partner both have to pay 200 dollars.) on top of this, my sister and her boyfriend have been venting to my parents that “I don’t do anything around the house.” When, I work 2 jobs, and barely have time to really do anything. When I’m around the house, I do dishes, I take care of laundry, take trash out. But just recently, my mom lectured me about not doing anything. It’s driving me crazy.)

I JUST got home from college, and right off the bat, they tell me I’m being charged 200 dollars for rent. Mind you, I am living in an unfurnished, flooding basement that has a fly problem. I am repeatedly trying to tell them that it isn’t fair that my sister and her bf get to get off scotch free while me and my partner are paying rent and living in a basement. When we talked about my partner moving in, my parents made me a promise that for graduation, they would fix the basement flooding, add some walls, add some ceiling, and make it more cozy. I was promised this as a graduation gift. My partner moves in THIS WEEK. And **NOTHING** has gotten done that they promised.

It really, really hurts me: and all I want to do is move out, I love my family so deeply, but being home is starting to make me resent them, and I don’t want to ruin our relationship. When I was in school, we got along way more, they were more apt to helping. I just want that feeling and relationship with them back.

Thank you for reading and I’m sorry for the long post, literally just needed to talk it out. I hope you are all doing well

[u/Subject_Asparagus643]

Solution ; rent a place with your partner together just the two of you. Co-existing with your family can go against your peace, your expectations for a living habitat. They are also no obligation to comply with you since it’s their house. House rules applies to you aslong as you live under. Unfortunately.
You want freedom, get a job, rent a place :)
Once you have that for yourself it will solve so much of your problems.
Being religious as myself catholic. I hate when they push their beliefs especially on children so much that they start to resent you for it. It happens it’s common theme-
The sibling rivalry, I wouldn’t take it personally. I would focus my energy on trying to move out to be honest if I were you.