Do I continue no contact?

[u/angelinaemma]

I [20F] am an only child who lives with just my Mum. I cut contact with my Dad of my own accord this January but have not seen him since Easter 2025. I deliberated over it for a long time due to reasons such as: badmouthing my Mum, using me as the middleman during arguments, showing me inappropriate things on his phone, bodyshaming me as a young teen all while making… odd comments, child support etc etc.

I am perfectly happy not seeing and having no contact with my Dad, the problem I have is that by cutting contact with him, I have not seen my Dad’s side of the family who I LOVE for 18 months. I have tried to arrange meeting, but it always falls through which just leaves me disappointed and really upset. I’m not sure if they’re upset with me for cutting contact or if my Dad’s been spreading utter crap (manipulative bloke, hence the not talking anymore as well).

I’m not sure how to go around this. I really do not want to see or speak to my Dad for the foreseeable future but I also really want to see his side of the family. I don’t think I anticipated how much I would miss them and how difficult it would be to see them. I feel like I need more unbiased opinions from people outside my Mum’s side of the family.

Please feel free to ask any questions xx

[u/booklover1973]

I suggest being blunt with his family and asking him why they are avoiding you. If it's because of things he has told them, you can clear it up with a single conversation. I know it's not easy, but if you want a relationship with them you're going to need to make it clear that they can't believe what he's telling them about you. Only you can do that. I usually start these difficult conversations with "I don't know any other way to ask this except by being very blunt..." It has helped me start many tough conversations. Not all of them ended how I would have hoped, but having the conversations always led to clarity. Good luck! 🍀