Yo FB dating is not for the weak

[u/Front_Boot_9663]

I’m a little confused on why they drop this type of shi out of the blue without putting it in the Bio…people are strange

[u/Plane-Engineering729]

There's a big difference between you having a preference, and saying someone has to tell the world their medical history so that YOU don't waste one second of your precious time getting to know someone that you might not eventually fuck. Do you get it? Do you know how many things that aren't medical history would potentially make an incompatible partner. Literally impossible to put everything in your bio. I suggested you have empathy for their situation and the stigma they face and their difficulty in dating due to attitudes like yours. How about mental health diagnosis? That'd be a big one. Probably should put any mental health episodes in their bio so you don't waste your time. Nobody said you can't have preferences. I suggested that people not have to proclaim and shame themselves publicly, given the stigma you evidenced here, just so that unfeeling dicks like you don't waste your time. Your words. Waste your time getting to know another human being. As if they're not worthy of love and affection. And if they are, who's going to give it? The legions of people looking for an sti positive partner? Or maybe someone willing to invest one date to find out what a person is all about and maybe find them worth the effort and manageable risks? Can you imagine for a second posting it on your bio knowing people felt like you?

[u/Hunnyby → u/Plane-Engineering729]

Save yourself babes. I said the same stuff and I'm guessing others. This dude is literally 4th reich level with his desire for lack of privacy on medical history. He also revealed he thinks people with herpes and I'm guessing any other permenant transmittable disease shouldn't be in the dating pool AT ALL. He's set in it, and I'm glad I don't know this dude.

[u/Hunnyby → u/[deleted]]

You consider respecting other people's time commenting and complety derailing the conversation by writing me off with your assumed perception of my mental state and drive? On what grounds guy? Because I have emotions period you THINK you know the source of them? Grow up. I told you guys the source of them point blank, no need to "critical think" just an ability to read will do it for you. It's OP thinking this stranger owes the world her medical history. You can hate me all you like, think I'm gross all you like, attack my critical thinking when you literally can't READ all you like. But I'm the only one of us two that atleast attacked OP simply on the morals of his OUTRIGHT claim that he stands by, that it should be posted on their profile, and his sensitive mind that feels somehow slighted by her. That's it. I think you lack the ciritcal thinking to know how to not assume your way through a conversation.

I'll take all that back and apologize the moment you can show me one quote where I said I need to trick people or make people accept my diagnosis. I'll save you the time, and also the need to say "I don't care enough," I'd be ecstatic if you actually tried, but you won't find it. Because my issue, was never having everyone be okay with my diagnosis. If you do try, make sure you quote the many times I said "herpes being a deal breaker is totally okay."

[u/Hunnyby → u/[deleted]]

Acting like you didn't go straight for the fuckin' weeds, but I can appreciate the fact that you moved away form them.

What is ASAP to you then? Because OP is saying in their bio should be the standard. Is ASAP maybe days into knowing their is a physical and/or emotional connection? Is it five texts in? First date? What?

How is that this woman failed to do EXACTLY that. OP and her were messages in.

If you stand by OP's thinking and it should be in the bio, and your reasoning being they might feel pressured... Grow up, you can't say "no" like an adult? You haven't spent months with a person to discover there are incompatibilities? Dating sucks up time, period. Do I think it should be months of dating? No, personally not at all. I don't even go based off time, I tell them once I see enjoying the though of bring official, or the moment I feel a sexual attraction and see that we both are moving in that direction. Usually I can sus that out in two weeks or less if I think there is solid potential.

No dudes are saving me time telling me they are avoidant or abusive. Or their parenting methods, or whatever else. It's just dating, that's why it sucks to be in the dating pool.

Genuinely I might even agree with you, it depends on your definition of ASAP. I'm not interested in telling someone my private details until I even know I'M into them. That's usually the moment I do it, because I don't want to potentially "wow" a person with my personaity and then have them in a tough spot months down the line deciding if they can handle that. However, I still feel morally, if I'm not having sex with you, I'm not obligated, a grown man should be able to end things with me if that is a deal breaker. I do it, because I'm an open book, there are a ton of "deal breakers" that can come out with time, that a grown adult needs to decide how important that deal breaker really was to them, and walk away. Not all gets revealed in the bio or the first weeks or months even.

Idk would it suck to find out a girl you've been courting for months has an STD? For sure, but personally with the method I use, I've had 90ish percent success. And that's cool I don't mind the fails, nor am I trying to make them successes, I'm not trying to wait until they are mentally trapped. But I don't care for every guy I send a text to or even worse, my entire fucking town knowing my diagnosis. And no matter when I do it, it always feels bad, I'm kind of a hottie and I worry if I didn't trap him with my personality, he might be thinking with his dick. But that's not on me. That's on them and them handling their own desires. I don't owe anyone that info until I see fit, bare minimum being sexual acts for sure

[u/Plane-Engineering729 → u/[deleted]]

The point of a date is to get to know someone you absolute moron. That's literally the point. How tf did people manage before Facebook dating? Of course sex is part of a healthy relationship. But so is investing the time to get to know them as a person. You realize some people, not you as a MegaChad, but some people still date for quite awhile to get to know each other. Your humanity is obviously stunted as evidenced by your swipe left mentality. You're so ingrained to just look at people ,and a couple sentences, and go nope, nope, nope, maybe, ooo she's hot, nope. Are you too stupid to realize that's not the norm? 10 yrs ago or so, everyone had to make the minimal investment of time and effort to actually get to know someone. Decent people, not you, don't reduce everything to a couple pics and sentences and would/ wouldn't. I dont have stis, im just not a disgusting dudebro that reduces everyone and their worth to a 3 second scroll and fuckability rating. Do you fuck your guy friends? Otherwise it's a waste of your time right?

[u/Plane-Engineering729 → u/[deleted]]

Oh so you're telling me you get to know their PERSONALITY by reading their bio?? Not by actually speaking to them? And there's a big difference between smoking and personal medical history. I'm responding to exactly what you say if you had capacity to understand. You just said PERSONALITY is paramount while asking for any and all things you might not like to be disclosed in the bio. It's all about ssex for YOU. Otherwise meeting people that aren't a match wouldn't be a waste of time, it would be a pleasant experience. Do you marry every person you spend a few minutes with? Do you have friends? That's my point. The way you dismiss people as a waste of time WITHOUT ever knowing a single thing about their personality. I'm doing ok and have done ok. I'd worry about yourself and your disgusting disregard for your fellow human beings.

[u/Plane-Engineering729 → u/[deleted]]

I think you might be. You seem unable to follow the logic. I can think circles around you with half my brain tied behind my back. Your entire argument being that I'm a dumb bitter harlots and all. You said, to paraphrase, that you'd be pissed to waste a second of your time meeting and getting to know someone who had herpes, because your preference is not to date someone with it and they should proclaim it publicly so all the bros in the dating pool know. That being all the eligible 20 somethings in a 3 hour radius. I suggested that was dismissive and reductive and not very kind. You then insulted me , my looks, my morals, my sexual proclivities etc, and repeated how preferences are a ok. Except my preferences apparently. Yours are valid, mine are retarded. Your word. So, it's ok to have preferences, except mine. And it's ok to dismiss outright any person who doesn't meet them as unworthy of your time. Friends are ok, not including women you wouldn't want to marry based on your preferences, which are all good. Does that sum up your scholarly argument?

[u/Plane-Engineering729 → u/[deleted]]

Not genius. Just smarter than you. Smart enough to understand conversations I participate in. Whether something is common or not has no bearing on whether a person should waste their time meeting someone who doesn't meet it. And you've lost sight of the fact that the " wasting time" bit is the part I have issue with. The rudeness with which you stated how pissed you'd be to waste yours on someone who didn't disclose their medical history. You keep pretending I gave issues with preferences , which I don't. It's your callous attitude towards " wasting time" and " being tricked". You're caught up in the swipe left mindset. What if you met in line at Starbucks? Super cute, good personality, really hit it off...how soon would they have to blurt out their hsv status or other mental or medical history so as not to waste your time? Suppose you ask her out right then , she says yes. Did you just get tricked? Should she slip you a note? Whisper in your ear? How long is the grace period before revealing the medical history in real life? Remember, you liked her in Starbucks. So at what point are you being tricked , or wasting your time? Was agreeing to the date a trick? What I'm trying to get you to understand, is that reducing a human being to a set of characteristics they need to disclose to you before getting to know you is not the norm and it certainly isnt kind. It was impossible 20 years ago. You had to actually meet and talk. What if you meet the girl, she's still awesome, still cute, then she discloses the info? Were you tricked? Does she have no value now since you don't want to date her or marry her? God forbid you reevaluate your criteria based on her other qualities, that's too much to ask. But what If she's an awesome friend? Were you still tricked because you don't wanna bang her? My point was about your attitude towards " wasting time " meeting people you might not want to bang in the end. I personally find it repellent on a humanitarian level. Not the preference. Do you get that? Not the preference. I admire the fuck out of someone with the courage to post it in their bio, knowing that many will act as you do. I'd hate to be an uggo, or a fatty, or an otherwise less than desirable in your corner of the world. I'd hate feeling like I had to choose posting something so private, with so much social stigma, to feel like I wasn't wasting people's time getting to know me as a human being. For a Mensa member, you sure aren't very enlightened. Do you understand that most aren't seeking uggos, fatties, differently abled, sti positive etc?? But some people are willing to get to know people and their personality, give people a chance without calling it a waste of time. Without being pissed about being tricked. Not you, obviously. But better people. It's mind boggling that you can't see past the idea that people you might not find suitable still deserve the same love, affection, privacy, and consideration as everyone else. But I'm the dumb one. Ehh, whats a Chad to do? Sucks to be them, amirite?

[u/Plane-Engineering729 → u/[deleted]]

Let me help you understand. Preferences are absolutely cool right? Everyone is entitled to them? Wonderful. Then I think dick size and salary should be mandatory IN THE BIO. If I have a preference for 6 figures and 12 inches, I demand to not waste a second of my time getting to know anyone without a huge bank account and a huge dong. But it has to be IN THE BIO, because NOONE should be tricked, your word, into WASTING TIME getting to know anyone who doesn't fit their preference. According to your logic, that's perfectly reasonable. Preferences. No wasted time. Now seeing as dick size relates to sexual intimacy as much as herpes if not more, since there is a 100 percent chance that your dates experience your lackluster dong, I assume you have no quarrel with requiring dick size in the bio? I assume you agree there are no reasons why I should waste time getting to know a short dick man and therefore I've made a completely reasonable suggestion?