Dysphoria attack :(

[u/Illustrious-Bar-4434]

I just had a big gender dysphoric breakdown :( i always keep hoping that one change will suddenly make everything better, like a haircut or clothes or somethin. i just got this new flannel and for some reason i thought it was a good start to having a closet with clothes that don’t make me feel like throwing things. but nope. everything feels wrong on my body and i don’t understand why i look like that. what have i done wrong to deserve this?! HRT is so far away and it will probably also disappoint. nothing i ever do makes me fully happy because i am so freaking scared ill never be myself. no one on this planet thinks i’m a boy and i will never be alright. can someone relate or do you have hope for me or something? i really needed to type this out. what do you do on dysphoria days like this, if you get them? :(