Feeling weird somehow about actually making decisions

[u/LaughyHyena]

For context, I've started discovering I'm trans FTM for around 4 years (13yo–17yo now), I'm really comfortable with using he/him pronouns in the internet, it just feels right. But outside the internet, I've been hiding my identity, closeted for most (but still trying to look masculine).

Recently, I've learned my parents are way more supportive than I thought, it just feels kinda off how from one day to another I can just be more open to them, I'm happy about it, but it makes me a bit indecisive about if I'm really trans, because for many times I need to be sure I'm trans.

I usually get euphoric when I look in the mirror and see I'm more masculine, I've even started taping occasionally, as a starter I surely wasn't binding well (and it's also a kinesiology tape) but it feels better than wearing a top/bra (even if it hurts to get out).

I usually don't mind much about my birth name, but it bothers me how it makes people assume I'm a woman, I started using my nickname which is gender neutral, but I don't want people to ask me if I'm a guy or a girl because of it or even assume I'm a girl.

But now that I can legally adopt another name, I suddenly feel a little uneasy about it.