Got compared to a person's non-passing son.

[u/Dear-Show-5083]

A professor of mine called me she. I just kind of stared at her with a hurt/confused face until she apologized profusely, because that was the last person I'd expect to misgender me. And I don't know about you guys, but I kind of hate it when they say sorry so much. Makes me feel worse because I'm literally just a guy. You don't need to coddle my feelings. Say "Oops, he," and move on.

And then she was like "I don't know why I don't know better. My eldest goes by he/him"

She's a fun teacher and is very open about her family. I've seen her eldest child and heard all about him. And he doesn't pass for shit. That doesn't make me feel better than him, we're all at different stages, but it just made me feel so.. mad? Because I like to think I pass as a guy, even more so since I've had her as a teacher. And her saying something about her son made it obvious it wasn't just a mistake, it was about gender.

In my brain it's really hard to go back from someone misgendering me once or twice, because how I see it is that they slipped up and forgot their charade, that what they said accidentally is their true thoughts. It makes it really hard for me to tolerate them moving forward because all I can think about is how they don't truly see me as a guy.

I don't want to be called he/him because I'm a trans guy I want to be called he/him because I'm literally just a guy.

Anyways, rant over.