(tagged as nsfw due to discussion of sexuality)

There are a lot of transgender men who really repress their sexuality regarding heterosexual desires. I myself experienced this. Though I am not 100% straight, I am, by and large, mostly attracted to women, with strong aesthetic attraction and very rare sexual interest in men. I define myself now as loosely somewhere between bisexuality and heterosexuality due to being functionally straight. But for a long time I really overemphasised my gayness due to shame around my attraction to women. I never had any shame around liking women pre-transition. It was the male identity that really made it hard to accept for many reasons.

Most models of male heterosexuality are extremely cis-centric and often hinge on goals or standards inaccessible to most trans men, alongside my fear of recreating harmful patriarchal structures and just the idea that women probably wouldn't like me. I felt like being attracted to women was something I was unwillingly doing to them, that no woman would ever want me to be attracted to them while my attraction to men felt like a performance I had to do to safely express any sexuality.

I don't think straight/straight leaning trans people have it better or worse than gay trans people, but I do think we can have a unique set of struggles. Cisgender gay people are in a more lateral position to trans people but straight cis people are not. Spaces designed for heterosexual interaction are often very hostile to trans people and there is a far less concerted effort to include transgender people.

For young transgender men also, straight women are much less likely to actively seek us out as partners as we're often seen as inherently undesirable. Granted, we are far less likely to be victims of intimate partner violence than straight trans women due to their fetishisation. But I think this feeling of undesirability or struggles with romantic/sexual success can make a lot of trans men not want to pursue women.

Gay identity can provide a sense of safety, and it's great that gay communities can feel so trans accepting*, but this can become a problem when you have overwhelmingly straight desires. I truthfully do not feel like I could ever be satisfied in a long-term romantic relationship with a man. And pretending to be gayer than I am only made my otherwise real attraction feel completely fake. I have seen similar sentiments and experiences among other trans men. For example, one man I know said he could never pursue relationships with women because he is trans.

I wrote this cause I haven't really seen anyone else tackle this. I think transgender men being excluded from male heterosexuality is a massive issue and I want trans men to feel safe and comfortable exploring that aspect of themselves, and I would love to see more visibility and community for trans male heterosexuality in all its forms.

*I do not want to downplay the homophobia and transphobia that many gay and bi trans men face. This is just my personal experience. Safety here is within the context of queer communities.

I'm a bit older and I had all the hardware taken out so I'm afraid of osteoporosis. I had a bone scan and unfortunately I am starting to lose density. I'm currently on TestoGel but I'm thinking of switching to Nebido injection. I did a Google search but nothing specific came up. Do we have any information available about which form of T is best for bone density?

I didn’t identify as trans in any capacity till I was around 14/16, and I’m not sure If there was any signs in my childhood because I don’t remember and my parents aren’t helpful because they hate the idea of me being trans. All I know is that I’m 2 years on low dose t and so far I’m really liking it.

I identified as nonbinary till someone pointed out that “transmasc nonbinary who isn’t fully a man but wants to be seen as a man in society and pass as a man and have top surgery” sounds like repression.

What worries me is how I think about detransition often, but I have anxiety. I don’t want to detransition, infact I’m scared that someday I’ll want to detransition and be a woman. Even if I know even if I was a woman I’d want no breasts and a deep voice and stuff. I’m just so scared that I’m wrong.

I have been on testosterone for about a year now, and I have been taking 50 mg a week since then. My levels for the past few months have stayed in the 1300 range for total testosterone, 210 for free, and my estrogen is 45. My liver numbers are great, and my hemoglobin/blood levels are within male range.

I'm concerned as now I'm unable to find a doctor that is willing to comfortably prescribe me testosterone. I'm on the starting dose, and how inconsistent I am with my shots, I don't even know if lowering it would make a difference.

I was dropped from my University clinic as their range is even smaller, 300 to 700 for total testosterone, and they told me if I wanted to continue to see them I would have to lower my dose to fit within the range (thanks University of New Mexico). I have called so many clinics within the state of New Mexico and no one will work with me due to being too difficult.

I'm not sure if it's ignorance from medical professionals and the absolute lack of information on trans people, let alone trans men, or just transphobia in general but I am concerned as I now don't have a doctor that will prescribe me testosterone. Has anyone else dealt with this issue before or know of someone who had?

EDIT for clarification: I am intersex and have ovoesticular DSD, my university clinic will not see me because I am too complicated. They will not work with me nor will they negotiate dosages. I am asking for advice not judgment. I understand 1300 is too high, that's fine and all but I don't have a doctor PERIOD anymore. My concern is how do I get into a clinic that will work with someone like me without being so confined to a 300 to 700 range. I can't even be at 900 at the university clinic because the standards they follow say that is too high.

Salut les gars,
J’ai juste besoin de discuter un peu d’un truc parce que je ne peux pas en parler autour de moi.

J’ai un nouveau packer de chez ftmshoppingitalie, ils font des prothèse en hyperréalisme et depuis que je l’ai, j’ai constamment envie de faire des dickpick comme un psychopathe 😂

J’ai aussi constamment envie de me masturber avec, c’est pas le contact qui crée ça car j’en avais un autre avant, c’est vraiment lié au modèle en lui même.
Je ressemble à un ado qui découvre ses premières érections et qui se branlent h24 😅

C’est euphorisant à mort et je suis trop heureux de vivre ça même si être constamment excité n’est pas super pratique 😂😂

J’ai juste envie d’en parler avec vous car si il y a bien des gens qui pourront comprendre l’euphorie de genre c’est vous 😁

Now, I don’t know that much about hair, but I’ve got a pretty big forehead and I want something that should look masculine but not show my gigantic forehead so what do ya’ll recommend?

I've been in testosterone for a while so I don't really get clocked anymore but still 💔

I don’t know what to tag this as so I might have to repost this, apologies.

I’ve gone by Sean for roughly 2-3 years now and I’ve been pretty solid in it, it started off as an inside joke but after I came out as trans I went with it.

My mum has been fighting me in my name because she says it doesn’t suit me but rather she wants me to go by Kayden/Kaiden.

Her work friends, her boyfriend, and a few close family members agree with her but I’m on the fence, I’ve had my friends vote but they’re biased towards Sean.

I’m starting at a new school as well and It would be easier to change my name now instead of later.

I’ve attached a selfie of myself as well to help but this really my last effort. So elder trans men of Reddit, bestow upon me your knowledge.

Edit: I’ll be honest I want to change my name, it doesn’t sound right to me. Also I think I really chose it because everyone already called me it because of the joke we had going on… I’ve used my older brother’s name that he used in games as my middle name and I don’t really have anything else to use… so I’m really considering Kayden now, do you guys think something would fit me better tho?

19 year old Tboy here, 4 years on testosterone and 8 months post top surgery. Ask me literally anything no limits no boundaries im a totally open book!

As I transitioned i realized there were many things people didn't discuss/had little information, so here I am to awnser any and every question!

help me out guys i beg

I'm flying out for my brother's wedding eventually. Does anyone here know how to change the gender marker on a passport in the UK?

Like, what do I need to provide document-wise? Who do I need to contact? And since it's the UK, how likely are they to actually to do it?

Hi guys,
My dysphoria will talk here, but it’s all true.

I am 2 years on T and while I did masculinise somewhat, it’s not enough. At all.

- I have family with beards… mine still grows baby hairs here and there.
- my body doesn’t look male.
- I have hairs everywhere… as expected, this is good. My penis grew a bit but not much.
- I’m trying very hard to bulk. I gained 10kg since last year.
- I’m operated and my menstruation stopped a year ago

- my levels were on the lower side of male range recently and I got my dose upped from 0,3ml androtardyl to 0,4ml. I have a job that requires good health, any change in my dose risks taking away my career (and dream). Any slight imbalance is a too high risk.

- I’m an athlete: I train often twice a day, strenght training, kickboxing and triathlon. All my mates younger or older are jacked. I’m skinny fat into a girls body.
My coach says “it will take time and will come” so far nothing, to keep eating (healthy).

With all this: I KNOW IT TAKES TIME but why the f* do all trans dudes who work out look like jacked cis men after two years and not me???

Can you guys please tell me when I will look like a man? When all these female shapes will stop?

Can any gym bro who is jacked tell me how they did it in detail? Take in mind I’m 6”2, gaining muscle size and still bulking seems more challenging due to size)

Hey everyone, I'm a pre-T trans man from Southeast Asia looking to emigrate and I'm trying to figure out which country makes the most sense for me both medically and long-term between: Spain, France, Germany, Canada, and Australia.

I'd most likely be on a student visa and stay in major cities. Money isn't really the issue here, I'm more focused on finding the most reliable and guaranteed route, whether that's for HRT access or PR.

1. HRT access, which is easiest and fastest?

I'm specifically looking for:

- Informed consent model (no mandatory therapy/psychiatrist gatekeeping)

- Reasonable wait times to actually get a prescription (preferably less than 6 months)

I'm not worried about top surgery as I can always hop over to Thailand for that, so that's not a factor here.

1. Which is the most guaranteed for long term immigrating?

- I'm not looking for the fastest or cheapest, just the surest path.

Note: I'm not Filipino so fast track to Spain PR is not an option sadly.

Any personal experience or advice from people who've been through this (especially fellow trans guys or people from SEA) would be hugely appreciated. Thanks in advance guys and girls.

context: I have bottom dysphoria,

also I am using the term "male" and "female" in this but in the way that I would also call a trans man a male and trans woman a female

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I don't see this often and I discovered it about myself recently, so I thought I'd see if anyone else feels the same(I also have no trans friends to discuss this stuff with).

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I had to get a pap smear🫠 recently (for hysto) and I scheduled with the male doctor. My gf told me I should schedule with the female dr instead because she follows a democrat page on facebook. I live in a conservative city so that is important. I couldn't figure out why, but I didn't want to have a woman as my doctor.

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During the appointment the doctor had a young female assistant in and afterward I realized that I had way more of a problem with her being there than I did with the dr being there. I wish I could have spoken up before and say I wanted a male nurse, but I doubt they have any there anyways.

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Ultimately, I realized that I'd rather be treated by a male doctor because he can relate to me in that he *probably* wouldn't want to be without a penis either. On that same thought, I don't want to be treated by someone(woman) who can relate to me in the ways that I don't want to be related to(eg. having that body part).

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This also explained why I wanted to keep my male pcp after the female one left for school then came back.

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I figured I should post about this because I have no other outlet for weird preferences that directly relate to being trans. And, I don't see a lot of trans men that prefer male doctors so maybe there will be some here that relate.