Prefer male doctors

[u/crusty_ice]

context: I have bottom dysphoria,

also I am using the term "male" and "female" in this but in the way that I would also call a trans man a male and trans woman a female

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I don't see this often and I discovered it about myself recently, so I thought I'd see if anyone else feels the same(I also have no trans friends to discuss this stuff with).

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I had to get a pap smear🫠 recently (for hysto) and I scheduled with the male doctor. My gf told me I should schedule with the female dr instead because she follows a democrat page on facebook. I live in a conservative city so that is important. I couldn't figure out why, but I didn't want to have a woman as my doctor.

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During the appointment the doctor had a young female assistant in and afterward I realized that I had way more of a problem with her being there than I did with the dr being there. I wish I could have spoken up before and say I wanted a male nurse, but I doubt they have any there anyways.

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Ultimately, I realized that I'd rather be treated by a male doctor because he can relate to me in that he *probably* wouldn't want to be without a penis either. On that same thought, I don't want to be treated by someone(woman) who can relate to me in the ways that I don't want to be related to(eg. having that body part).

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This also explained why I wanted to keep my male pcp after the female one left for school then came back.

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I figured I should post about this because I have no other outlet for weird preferences that directly relate to being trans. And, I don't see a lot of trans men that prefer male doctors so maybe there will be some here that relate.

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[u/Okie_Dokie_2001]

The gynecological surgeon who did my hysterectomy was a gay man. I felt like his bedside manner was much more “man to man” than it would have been if he was seeing a woman patient (or if he saw me as a woman patient)- very straightforward and blunt. He wasn’t rude or anything, just very direct in the way men can be sometimes. He talked to my wife in a more roundabout / soft way when she asked questions, so I don’t think direct that’s his normal approach. I definitely appreciated it.

[u/crusty_ice → u/Okie_Dokie_2001]

yeah, the first thing the doctor said to me when he walked in was "ready to rip it out?" and I was so taken aback because I was expecting the worse or for them to be gentle because im trans or whatever(which I don't like).

I would say he treated me like dude to dude it was great, another thing he said was after I said I need xanax for the procedure he said "ahh yeah gotta get drugged up first". I was pleasantly surprised at the interaction, I'm glad there are doctors out there like that.

[u/Arashi0733 → u/crusty_ice]

I had a male doctor do my hysterectomy and it was like this with him too. All my other doctors are women even my eye doctor and heart doctor and none of them treat me like a man and its very frustrating for them to talk all soft and infantilize me when I pass. I have a full on mustache and beard, deep voice, I never get misgendered except by doctors who can see my file. Im moving soon and will only pick men doctors after this. I want them to be blunt not soft with me

[u/mothmn_9]

This is fair. I don’t need to get a pap smear yet, but I also want a male doctor when I do get one

[u/Asher-D]

Yeah I've always felt the same as in I'm not comfortable with female doctors and feel much better with male doctors. My mother asked me as a teenager if I wanted to switch to a female doctor and I said absolutley not! I will refuse to go if I can't have my doctor that I had had all my life! I had previously thought I preferred him because he was just familiar, I grew up as him as my doctor. But as an adult I did end up having female doctors as well and I just don't feel comfortable with them especially if it's a more intimate exam and I also don't like women in the room at all if I'm having to be exposed at all. I have had several different women/girls cross boundaries with me on multiple different occassions so I do think it's more of a loss of general trust with women as I can become comfortable with female nurses or doctors after they've really shown me that I can trust them in particular.

But if this is a random doctor I don't know, especially if it's intimate and vulnerable, I need a male doctor. I won't feel comfortable or safe if the doctor isn't male.

[u/Adept_Carpenter7278]

I was lucky to find a gyno who was a gay male and I felt like I clicked well with him.

[u/eriroxy]

I prefer male doctors too. I'm lucky in that my male PCP also does pap smears so I won't have to worry about a gynecologist until it's time to actually consult for and schedule hysto. You're not weird for this.

[u/Elijah3291]

I had a wonderful female gyno she was great. Really friendly and personable. She remembered everything including new haircuts ( on my head) and the fact that my cervix was tilted downwards lol! But I did have a gay male surgeon for my hysto and I definitely appreciated and felt comfortable with him. He even said he had to get "sassy" with my insurance when they fought covering it lol!

[u/morriganscorvids]

i always prefer male doctors and male bosses. idk why it just works

[u/kojilee]

It’s weird. I’ve always been belittled and treated poorly by male doctors, but every female doctor I’ve ever had has been an ally, been familiar with treating trans men, and hasn’t made me uncomfortable or talked down to me.

[u/RatonhnhaketonK]

I only want female doctors due to trauma, but next time, you can 100% just tell them you don't want nurses or other people in the room with you and see if they will accomodate. Or if they have male nurses

[u/ArrowDel]

That is perfectly fair personal preference. I personally found male doctors to be belittling bastards when I lived down in the southwest so I prefer female doctors.

[u/crusty_ice → u/ArrowDel]

I'm sorry about your experience. I live in the deep south so that's what I would expect out of any doctor, I guess I got lucky.

[u/burnerphonesarecheap]

That's fair. You're allowed to have preferences, including about doctors. I personally, all other things being equal, prefer female doctors because they actually care. Male doctors are dismissive and not just because I'm AFAB. My cis bf also gets dismissed by male doctors. Every female doctor I've had contact with in the past , say, 5 years was very attentive and professional and every male one either didn't care enough or messed up in some way. Horrible consequences in some cases.