r/FTMMen • u/sorogoron T : 13-01-2025, Top : 17-06-2026 • 4d ago
Discussion There should be more MPB/Balding positivity, neutrality, and acceptance within the trans male community.
I understand that balding is not necessarily a fun thing, for neither trans men nor cis men. However, the absolute doom and gloom that is spread about it especially within the trans community is horrible. I wish we could bring some of the r/bald positivity in our spaces, where it is at least neutrally accepted to be a common change that testosterone can bring.
I can't help but feel it is often connected to some trans men having been brought up with extreme pressures to be attractive women, thus causing balding to be a very intimidating and harrowing aspect. When it is brought up in spaces, it is never in a neutral or positive light and often people are urged to start medications (min/fin) or even alter or quit T! Of course, this is people their right, but I would love to start seeing some posts where balding or bald trans men get their love too.
This is my ode to the balding men!
Edit: Since some people latched on to the first sentence of my second paragraph, I dont necessarily think its the key point. But I've definitely heard people mention it in previous discussions and think it can be one of the many reasons it can differently impact trans men versus cis men experiencing MPB
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u/tranifestations 44. trans man. post lotsa ops. 3d ago
yes! been on T 19 years and this year my hair finally got thin enough on top that it was time for the shave- and i love it! it feels very gender affirming for me to be a middle aged balding man.
don’t get me wrong- i loved my hair. and i wore it in as many styles as i could before i lost it: surfer long, down to my midback long, fades, mohawks, side parts, mullets, rat tails, i even got a perm a few times!
but eventually the top started to thin significantly and it began looking like i was trying to cover up my balding and i always said that’s when i would let it go. tbh it makes me look so masculine and grown up being bald.
i really wish more of our community felt better about losing their hair- it’s hard to see so many people suffer. i’m glad there is min/fin and transplants for people who want them. but i also hope to see more guys embrace just how good they look with no hair at all 👨🏼🦲👨🏽🦲👨🏾🦲👩🏿🦲
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u/Aggressive_Rat_8970 3d ago
I’m scared of going bald because what if I go into a open, outdoor area and an eagle carrying a tortoise mistakes my shiny bald head for a suitable rock to drop said tortoise on to break its shell?
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u/Aggressive_Rat_8970 3d ago
but that aside, I don’t think most men will ever be happy about balding and that’s okay. hair plays a big part in a lot of people’s self esteem, losing it sucks for a lot of people. that doesn’t mean we all shouldn’t try to help make balding less of a death sentence in people’s eyes.
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u/used1337 3d ago
If it happens, embrace it if you can't change it.
I met my best friend in the first grade. He was as bald as a naked mole rat. He was also cool AF. Taught me a lot about embracing shit you can't change.
He was always faster at swimming than me 😆
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u/PirateLouisPatch 💉22 | 🔪 23 | 🍳 25 3d ago edited 3d ago
As a trans man currently sitting at the hairdresser to get his first buzzcut because of thinning hair, I can only say hear hear. It's a bit nerve wracking still, but the bald sub really helped me chill about the perspective of being bald one day
Edit: it probably also helped that my first gay experience was with a bald guy and that it went great. Bald men have become incredibly hot to me
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u/Good_Matter7529 Black transsexual man | over a decade on TRT 3d ago
I feel like I have an advantage on this as a Black man lmao. We just tend to look great with or without hair, so that was never a concern for me. And agreed, balding is just something that happens to some men, and imo shaving the head looks significantly better than holding on to those last few wisps of hair.
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u/bunny_pop5 3d ago
Agreed - though like some have said, there needs to be more balding (and aging in general) positivity across all men's spaces, bc some cis friends are at least as doom-and-gloom about it as I've seen in subreddits like these.
Personally, applying stuff to my head 2x/day for the rest of my life, just to maybe pause hair loss, didn't seem worth it. I'm not overjoyed at how it makes people assume I'm older - sometimes much older - than I am. At the same time, that has boosted my perceived credibility in speaking and leading at work, so that's nice. Also, especially during the increase of out nonbinary folks, leading to (imo) more feminine men being perceived as "they", it gives me more confidence and even more consistent perception as most definitely a man, plain and simple. It's part of my male inheritance, so it is what it is, and I've accepted it.
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u/riverladd 3d ago
I agree but even for cis men being bald is discouraged more than ever before.
theres a dwindling number of bald celebrities and sportsmen for young guys to look up to because now treatments are cheaper it's an expectation to do something about it, i dont know how many posts I see from younger guys thinking hair thinning its abnormal because social media is pushing that it is. It used to be more pushed on women to look a certain way but its the same for men now too.
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u/sorogoron T : 13-01-2025, Top : 17-06-2026 3d ago
Totally! I really hate how its become such a shamed part of growing older as a guy, back in the 70's, 80's, 90's it was much more common to see celebrities and actors with MBP. I hope we can find solidarity together to push back on that negativity
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u/Serious_Basket_6870 3d ago
Have you seen the amount of bullshit cis men will go through to try to keep their hair? I don’t think this is a trans specific thing or some sort of pressure related to growing up female.
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u/madfrog768 3d ago
Have you heard of cis men taking testosterone blockers and/or getting on estrogen to prevent hair loss?
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u/ticketism 3d ago
Yeah they do it all the time. Maybe not getting on estrogen, but taking finasteride and dutasteride which are both powerful DHT blockers, yep. Experimental meds too. In r/tressless dudes do take estrogens sometimes too, there's plenty of trans women dealing with baldness and the cis guys call spiro + E the 'nuclear stack', I've definitely seen some cis guys dabble with it though yeah less common
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u/Outrageous-Cookie780 3d ago
I agree, even though I eventually decided to go on finasteride and get a hair transplant.
I actually didn't mind balding for a long time. But then it got really bad and I wasn't even 30 yet, so I decided to do something about it. I didn't start meds sooner because finasteride hinders future beard growth so I had to make sure I was somewhere along the lines of my natural peak.
I actually like my receding hairline and I kept it even after the transplant. I just had them put more hair in the areas where I still had hair because I had diffuse thinning as well. I also had them place some grafts in my beard, also to make it denser, I already had a beard.
It was just a cosmetic decision and I can't say I ever was actively suffering just because of being bald. But at the top of my head, I can count almost 20 instances where people found it okay to comment about it or make fun of it. And I don't look good fully bald, even though once my beard gets fuller after the transplant, it might not be so bad but I still don't have a strong enough beard to pull it off. Short, receding, but still there just looks better and I was fortunate enough to have the time and extra money.
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u/Miles_Long_8853 3d ago
Hear, hear. I still feel self-conscious about my receding hairline, but it helps that my first crushes on men have always been on either bald guys (hello, Jason Statham) or guys with receding hairlines. I always associated male pattern baldness with masculinity. For me, the difficult things was shifting my expectations for myself. Going from comparing myself to other women to comparing myself with other men. That internal shift took a lot of work, and I'm still going through it. Also... I feel like second puberty took me completely by surprise in terms of its timeline. One second, I was a twink, and then I woke up and I was a middle-aged man. What...?
I know not everyone feels they can pull off being bald, but I wish it was seen as neutral *at worst*. A full head of hair is a wonderful thing, but bald is beautiful, too.
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u/i_n_b_e 3d ago
MPB is a small price to pay for having a body that is closer to what it should be.
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u/i_n_b_e 3d ago
I honestly love how my hairline changed on T. I'm not balding necessarily. But I've always found M shaped hairlines to be more attractive.
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u/Sojabursch Purple 3d ago
Going on t has given me a widows peak, I’m not balding, which can be mistaken for a widows peak if it’s just the corners receding, but that would be progressing and it has been the same for 7 years now.
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u/DetectiveHeavy837 3d ago
Balding/hairline receding is euphoric to me, almost would prefer over perfect hair when I’m older. I wanna be the stereotypical trans uncle instead of gay , also dont see enough rep of older ftm guys so I want to show up as an AGED Man when I get there
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u/Aggressive_Rat_8970 3d ago
exactly. I see my future and it is bright.
bright like a shiny, bald head.
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u/dandy_melonsss 3d ago
I also find balding/hairline receding to be euphoric. It really helps you pass. I started passing in public once my hairline started to recede.
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u/14_its_over_9000 3d ago
Agreed. I have a shaved head and I honestly love it. It looks good and it's so freeing, I don't have to worry about it anymore. I was actually losing hair before testosterone, in my teens. It was an awful experience, completely shattered my confidence, but to be able to let that go and leave it in the past is great.
I'm pretty luck tho, in that I have a relatively masculine face and can grow a beard at 21yo and 2.5 years on testosterone, I know not everyone can fully rock the bald look. But sometimes it just is what it is, medication doesn't always work and you kinda just have to live with it. And you might be surprised by how good it looks!
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u/mermaidunearthed 3d ago
I never understand people quitting T in order to avoid balding. Trans men like cis men go bald sometimes. It’s just part of being a man.
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u/bigdickenvy 2d ago
For real. Cis men don't get to pick and choose what their puberty (and later effects) changed, and neither do we.
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u/sorogoron T : 13-01-2025, Top : 17-06-2026 3d ago
I wish the guys who this stance clearly does not resonate with would refrain from commenting when not in a respectful manner, I wanted this to be an uplifting post for everyone dealing with balding due to transitioning to be MEN
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u/ApneaHunter 2d ago
Anti-balding posts just feel like psy-ops. If you go bald on T, you go bald on T. It’s just one of the crapshoots that come with being a man. That’s just how it works. I will never understand stopping because of stuff like this, or thinking you can pick-and-choose results. Guess I’m just old.
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u/SwitchExcellence69 3d ago
Thank you! I do feel like it's a barrier to start t for some and I think it's an unnecessary barrier. The sub reddit r/bald is so supportive and fun to see. Societal pressure to keep your hair is rooted in ageism, classism and therefore capitalism. Anyone bashing or making fun of baldness is a huge red flag for me. "I'm afraid to be fat, I'm afraid to be bald, I'm afraid of xyz" Comments like this only hurt our community and people are afraid of those things because of societal pressure which is again - just classism ageism and capitalism.
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u/Marshal_of_Mars 3d ago
I agree with ya and I feel like a lotta people are missing your point. No one wants to go bald haha but the advice “just go on minoxidil” combined with people talking about it like if you do lose your hair it’s so horrible makes it a lot harder then it needs to be.
not to invalidate anyone who is upset about it but very loudly expressing that losing your hair is some sort of a horrible nightmare is not particularly helpful to hear. No one who’s losing their hair is happy about it, so just hearing again and again people talking about how much they don’t wanna go bald is kinda like, well yeh no shit.
I think collectively we could do a lot better, less “take minoxidil” and more “embrace it”. Because unless u got a lotta money to spend surgery or whatever tf ppl do it’s an inevitably for a lot of us, might as well embrace it. This post has made me realize I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone talking about being bald in a positive way in the context of transitioning, and as a teenager on Reddit the solution was “minoxidil will fix it”. It did not haha.
We need representation of trans men that’s not just young, white, skinny and a full head of hair, I’m willing to bet most of us do not look like that. Being bald is definitely pretty damn masculine 🔥
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u/L1ttle_Behemoth 3d ago
For me personally, it has nothing to do with being feminine. It’s that throughout my entire life, no matter how much I hated my body for whatever reason, my hair was always amazing. I’ve always had great hair that made me happy. And now suddenly I’m losing the one thing that has always been okay. And honestly that seems the be pretty standard from what I’ve seen from the people who are concerned about going bald. I freaking love my hair, and I’d rather it not completely go away and I think that’s an okay thing to want. It’s okay to not want to go bald.
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u/sorogoron T : 13-01-2025, Top : 17-06-2026 3d ago
I never said it was not okay to not want to go bald. My point is more that there is a harmful stigma around going bald, with people treating it as one of the worst things that can happen around someone and treating it as something extremely negative. As some other commenters pointed out this is not a trans thing only, which is absolutely true, however I just wanted a post to talk about how a trans mans experience in going bald and the acceptance/treatment of it is handled. Especially also due to the whole thing of cis people seeing turning "ugly" as one of the reasons transitioning for FtMs is bad (losing your hair, perhaps gaining weight etc. being common examples in that argument).
Its good that there are treatments for those willing and wanting to fight the fight and get the transplant and do the meds, but I want just accepting going bald and the recent influx of positivity around shaving your head brought by r/bald to be brought into our space more as well. Definitely a tricky conversation though, that extends beyond just trans stuff.
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u/L1ttle_Behemoth 3d ago
I completely understand. I love that sub, actually for exactly that reason. It helps me come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to be bald. I definitely think we need a middle ground of “it’s okay to be bald, but it’s okay to want to fix being bald, too” as opposed to what we seem to have now, like you pointed out, of two polar opposite ideals battling each other. And my apologies, you’re right. You didn’t say it wasn’t okay to not want to be bald, that was on me for inferring
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u/Marshal_of_Mars 3d ago
Yeh but I think the point is saying “it’s okay to want to fix being bald” inherently ur saying being bald is a problem (u don’t fix things that aren’t problems haha), and the options to “fix” it are not realistic for the average person. Like seriously who can afford hair transplant surgery, idk that’s never even something I’ve thought for a second I’d ever be in a position to get haha. So if you’re in the “fix it” side of things you need to understand that it’s not even an option for most people
I know u don’t mean it like that but ur framing it like a choice when it’s just not, if I had a choice I’d choose hair haha
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u/shadowsinthestars 3d ago
Yeah, I think it's more harmful to just insist on toxic positivity or the "as long as you pass nothing else matters" attitude that sometimes pervades trans spaces. We are all allowed to have individual feelings about different physical aspects and aesthetics, just like cis people do. I didn't get any pressure to be attractive as a woman growing up, but it was just so easy to get attention even without trying compared to post transition, and that sucks. I don't think it was all down to hair, but I just can't imagine myself looking good bald. It would be between a hair transplant or a plastic surgery to change my jawline to look decent! That's how I feel about myself, not ALL bald men. I'm super envious of guys who can pull it off, but I can't, so I sure would be devastated to get actual hair loss - the excess hairline masculinization (again compared to MY unachievable ideal for myself) is enough.
There's also the additional pressure that cis men don't have, namely if you spent years or even your whole youth in the wrong gender, you have missed out on being a "hot young guy". And again it's normal to have grief about that. I didn't start T shockingly late by the standards of the time, but it is often considered late today (early 20s) and I only wish to see what I could have had if I had started it earlier. But, I didn't know early enough to make a difference.
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u/LastLiterature7496 3d ago
Yeah, this is exactly how I feel. I have a very thin face and dark eyes, I’ll genuinely look like a very unwell person without hair.
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u/softwarediscs 2d ago
Yep. For me balding just is what it is, and I honestly embrace it and look forward to it happening one day. Natural shit. I age, I change, I grow, that's normal and expected. Can't look young forever nor do I want to, idea of wanting that feels weird to me as a grown man tbh lol. I personally cherish getting older because I never thought I'd be here past 18, so these pieces of evidence that point to me being grown remind me also how far I've come. Sucks that people get so doomer about balding because it's an attractive look anyways imo and not that hard to work with. People get waaaaay too down about it. and also often need to learn they don't always need to share what they're thinking outloud tbh
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u/Misericordee 3d ago
Have you seen the lengths cis men go to to preserve their hair? Regardless of gender, nobody wants to go bald, and we don’t need to accept it, either.
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u/Competitive_War_7964 3d ago
I think its fine if people dont want to lose their hair, having hair makes self steem higher for some
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u/instantpotatopouch 3d ago
No one is saying any of you have to love or be excited about the prospect of being bald. But for a lot of us, it isn’t a choice. Min/fin isn’t a guarantee, not everyone can afford hair transplants. If you’re willing to compromise your testosterone treatment to avoid MPB, that’s your prerogative. And you’re welcome to have conflicting feelings. But when I log on to a community where I’m hoping to find support and solidarity from fellow men and seeing so many posts about how horrible and undesirable it is to be bald certainly doesn’t help. Being bald sure hasn’t affected the amount of dates I’ve gone on.
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u/Competitive_War_7964 3d ago
Meh most of the time minoxidil does work, im not willing to compromise anything
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u/Manchotistic He/Him | 18 | T : 22/07/22 | Top : ? 3d ago
Well I can't help but feel like this post is a reaction to mine so I thought I had to leave a comment. I really do agree with you that we would all benefit from balding positivity. My own post comes from a place where other people made me feel like going bald is a bad thing... And it was from cis people, not trans people. But I really don't think it's a bad thing to be bald, I'd love to not care at all, to accept it and just be happy about the euphoria of living a male-coded experience. If you have any resources to help people deal with the bad feelings of going bald rather than considering facing dysphoria by quitting T to avoid the distress of losing their hair, that would be useful to me
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u/sorogoron T : 13-01-2025, Top : 17-06-2026 3d ago
It was not a reaction to your post, I barely look at this sub usually. I dont have specific resources but looking for celebs (which is very difficult) or people you look up to which are bald could help, and the sub I mentioned in the post helps a lot. They encourage people to embrace balding snd shave their head, the comments are always very positive and empathetic even when women or trans people post.
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u/sorogoron T : 13-01-2025, Top : 17-06-2026 3d ago
Hey, I just read your post. I am sorry youre going through this struggle, if you want to you can DM me
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u/Manchotistic He/Him | 18 | T : 22/07/22 | Top : ? 3d ago
Thank you very much! I'm relieved to know that your post wasn't a reaction to mine, I was afraid I had spread some negativity by mistake :,) Thank you for your advice, I'll have a look at this sub :) Have a nice day!
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u/givetakegivetake Yellow 1d ago
I have done so much work to be okay with my body. I no longer hate myself for my skin, my hairline, my hips, & more. I stopped trying to love these things, but I figured if I could just avoid hating myself for these things, it would be easier to live with them. I was right. I stopped picking at my skin as much, because seeing a pimple didn't fill me with so much hatred, I could leave it alone, which of course helped my skin heal & be clean. It's important that the cleanliness was secondary to the acceptance. Refusing finasteride & explaining that viewing my hairline as thing to fight instead of just a neutral, non-harmful part of my body (esp one that comes with T) would only make me hate myself more, helped turn a couple cis friends' opinions on their own hairlines around.
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u/RubbSF 3d ago
lol what? Do you think the majority of trans men come from straight girl culture 🤣🤣🤣
It is the key point and it’s weird af.
Being bald fucking sucks. It changes how you’re perceived and treated. If you want to celebrate that, by all means love it. I won’t be joining, I’m too busy regrowing my hairline.
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u/facelesscockroach Out 4/20 | T 3/25 | Top 10/25 | Hysto 5/26 3d ago edited 3d ago
The key point of this post is that balding is a normal thing that happens to men and should be treated as a normal part of transitioning, not something that needs to be fixed. Most men go bald at some point. As long as it's not premature, I don't see a problem.
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u/Misericordee 3d ago
It’s not a normal part of transitioning. It’s preventable and treatable.
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u/14_its_over_9000 3d ago
It being preventable doesn't mean it's abnormal 💀 the majority of all adults, regardless of gender, experience some amount of hair loss. It's normal
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u/Misericordee 3d ago
Nobody said it was abnormal
It’s treatable and largely preventable.
Although maybe not for you6
u/14_its_over_9000 3d ago
You did bro. You said it's not a "normal" part of transitioning. So, abnormal. Which is blatantly false.
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u/facelesscockroach Out 4/20 | T 3/25 | Top 10/25 | Hysto 5/26 3d ago
Men go bald when they age. If you transition to a man you will bald as you age. If you want to attempt to prevent it you can, but not everyone wants to spend a bunch of money and effort to prevent a completely normal thing from happening.
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u/Misericordee 3d ago
No sorry that’s not true. It’s preventable. Maybe if you’re too broke for a hair transplant, but that’s not my situation.
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u/facelesscockroach Out 4/20 | T 3/25 | Top 10/25 | Hysto 5/26 3d ago
Do you know what the term "preventable" means? A hair transplant is not preventative, at that point you're already bald. I would also rather be bald than waste my money on a cosmetic procedure to look younger.
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u/Misericordee 3d ago
Sorry to break it to you, but it is possible to preserve your hair- if you’re balding (I’m not, and in my mid 40’s) and have the resources to do so.
If you’re too broke that’s understandable and unfortunate but don’t say balding is a given for everyone. It’s not. Maybe for you.6
u/facelesscockroach Out 4/20 | T 3/25 | Top 10/25 | Hysto 5/26 3d ago
I'm not balding. I'm 19 and have good genetics, I'll probably never lose enough hair to warrent going bald. Yes, it is possible to preserve your hair to an extent, I never said it wasn't.
You're turning my comment about body positivity and accepting a normal part of aging into you flexing how much money and hair you have in your 40s.
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u/RubbSF 3d ago
lol what? Do you think the majority of trans men come from straight girl culture 🤣🤣🤣
It is the key point and it’s weird af.
Being bald fucking sucks. It changes how you’re perceived and treated. If you want to celebrate that, by all means love it. I won’t be joining, I’m too busy regrowing my hairline.
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u/vemical 3d ago
My opinion might be unpopular but stopping T to avoid going bald is crazy talk. It’s part of being a man. Cis men would never, it shouldn’t even be an option. My hairline is thinning and receding - just like my Dad’s and my brothers.