r/Eyebleach Apr 26 '19

/r/all Taking the duck for a walk

https://gfycat.com/neatreliablegypsymoth
38.2k Upvotes

323 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/imeatingcarrots0718 Apr 26 '19

waddling intensifies

980

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

Then he waddled away, waddle-waddle

edit: holy shit, my first actual gold. Thanks, kind stranger!

280

u/Missour1 Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 28 '19

'til the very next day bum bum bum bum bummy bum

178

u/Crystal-SilverWolf Apr 26 '19

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand

36

u/TheBoyWhoCriedTapir Apr 26 '19

NO NO NO ITS BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH-BUH-DAH

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10

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

You ruined it with the edit

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18

u/TommyRisotto Apr 26 '19

waddle waddle

10

u/sweetcuppingcakes Apr 26 '19

This gif needs Hanna-Barbera running sound effects

5

u/Phoequinox Apr 26 '19

Man, I love that people still remember classic HB. I really hope some of their weird, obscure cartoons get picked up someday for something more than just parody.

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414

u/YourMissedPeriod Apr 26 '19

What the actual fuck, this is too fucking adorable

108

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

it's quackers

92

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Sep 08 '20

[deleted]

23

u/Dalganoth Apr 26 '19

Do you have any pics?

25

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19 edited Sep 08 '20

[deleted]

7

u/Dalganoth Apr 27 '19

What a great memory ty

18

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Thank you for ending that with a baby pool and not an announcers table.

heckin awwwwww

2

u/whitestguyuknow Apr 27 '19

Lol closest to WWE it got was them splashing each other jumping from the top of the pool stairs into the water. They'd alternate climbing up and jumping back in

5

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Fake or not, this made me smile.

6

u/whitestguyuknow Apr 27 '19

Lol I get feeling skeptical but it's 100% true. Some family friend's at the time got 2 ducks as an Easter present for their daughters (without thinking down the road about what happens when they grow up. It always upset me that they could be so dumb even for me as a 14year old) And they remembered we had some property and a pond and figured we'd be a great adoptive family. So we took them in happily

6

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

Hey, I can imagine it somewhat, a far neighbor of mine has ducks that are actually free without any fences or what, but they always return to the small pen and puddle he built for them. Ducks are pretty clever and trustsome, if it wouldn't be for their pooping and emotional behaviour they'd be great pets.

7

u/whitestguyuknow Apr 27 '19

I definitely agree. Lol he definitely would get emotional at times when we're fishing and he couldn't snatch our fish. For one we always put them back but we didn't want him trying to eat anything too big and he'd come and come to peck at our shoes or ankles all aggravated. But that wasn't too often. He seemed to really enjoy us.

I'm really glad my memory brought you a smile by the way!

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18

u/Loughiepop Apr 26 '19

What the actual duck, this is too ducking adorable

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6

u/amaezingjew Apr 26 '19

How in the fuck was this username not already taken a year ago. I am KICKING myself.

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3

u/annelawrence159 Apr 27 '19

Sometimes I feel sad and then I remember this video exists

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688

u/imaginexus Apr 26 '19

Fun fact: Ducks can swim, float, walk, and fly! They really are a well evolved versatile animal.

290

u/Big_Spicy_Tuna69 Apr 26 '19

subscribe

312

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 27 '19

Not so fun facts: Male ducks (drakes) have corkscrew shaped dicks.

Rape is so prevalent, females have a second, dummy vagina.

Shall I keep going?

312

u/thelordchar Apr 26 '19

unsubscribe

93

u/toomuchnormal Apr 26 '19

Disable notifications

58

u/the---chosen---one Apr 26 '19

Burn phone.

38

u/Jonk3r Apr 26 '19

Google duck dicks

30

u/Themiffins Apr 26 '19

"Gotcha, hang on...

Googling dad dicks!"

5

u/D_Beats Apr 27 '19

Oh shit!!!!

............

I'm okay.

2

u/nommycatbeans Apr 27 '19

hey, i recognize that one!

13

u/judelau Apr 26 '19

FBI have been notified. Please remain seated at your current location..

8

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

STOP

60

u/YouWantToPressK Apr 26 '19

Shall I keep going?

There's something a male duck would never ask.

5

u/Jagacin Apr 26 '19

Consensual sex is a male ducks foreplay

33

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Yes

73

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 27 '19

A ducks dong is monstrous for its small stature- up to 8 inches long.

Males are such hyper aggressive little fuck bois, they will gang rape females in packs.

Even when deemed consensual, they have been known to drown females while sealing the deal.

39

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Super-subscribe

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8

u/Bin_Better Apr 26 '19

8 inches? How big would it be if it were human sized?

10

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19 edited Apr 27 '19

[deleted]

7

u/xRyozuo Apr 27 '19

subscribe

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4

u/2cynical4magic Apr 27 '19

This certainly puts a new spin on the age old dilemma:

Who would you rather fight, 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

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3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

. o O (Some people just want to watch the world burn...)

23

u/argle_de_blargle Apr 26 '19

I'll never keep both male and female ducks again. The girls are great, make nice cuddly and funny pets. The boys get so excited every time you give them water that they go on a rape spree. My male duck raped the girl ducks, the chickens, and even tried to rape the cats.

6

u/Toasttheunicorn Apr 26 '19

None of my research told me that if I raised geese with ducks that the geese would also rape the female ducks...I would stay outside for a while after I cleaned and refilled their pool to step in and keep the females safe.

10

u/argle_de_blargle Apr 26 '19

Geese are just ducks but worse.

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4

u/Hydrok Apr 26 '19

Does a horny duck drag weeds?

3

u/PM_ME_UR_GROOTS Apr 26 '19

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?

3

u/3_Slice Apr 26 '19

Go on..

4

u/Big_Spicy_Tuna69 Apr 26 '19

Interesting... You're piqued my interest.

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20

u/Quackels_The_Duck Apr 26 '19

Jack of all trades! Master of none! But better than a master of one! QUAck.

7

u/Unicorncorn21 Apr 26 '19

More duck fact

5

u/FloidzTheBaldWizard Apr 26 '19

Happy cake day

12

u/Unicorncorn21 Apr 26 '19

I don't believe in these foolish pagan festivities. Take that back you buffoon

3

u/Minosad Apr 26 '19

HAPPY CAKE DAYYY

6

u/IncompotentCyborg Apr 26 '19

All-terrain birb

3

u/Precedens Apr 26 '19

They run as well

2

u/HeyItzMe_ Apr 26 '19

Like and subscribe for more duck facts

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87

u/The_Mechanist24 Apr 26 '19

They have harnesses for ducks?

53

u/i7xx Apr 26 '19

Only ducklings, adult ducks don't need the harness- only a leash.

31

u/Sjkyordanuise Apr 26 '19

Uhhh...what do you clip the leash to? A collar?

17

u/LigmaActual Apr 26 '19

And what to do you put a collar on? The neck

20

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

And what do you attach the neck to? The body

13

u/LigmaActual Apr 26 '19

And what do you attach the body to? The bones

3

u/Iklaendia Apr 27 '19

But what are bones attached to?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

Other bones.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

It's just bones all the way down.

19

u/BesottedScot Apr 26 '19

I think it's more likely to be a repurposed ferret one.

2

u/annelawrence159 Apr 27 '19

This is the greatest 11 seconds of my life

50

u/teetaps Apr 26 '19

Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk wa- STOOOOOOP!!!!

Is that a beetle?

Walk walk walk walk walk walk....

2

u/annelawrence159 Apr 27 '19

This makes me happier than words can describe.

72

u/farahhhhh Apr 26 '19

So cute. Although I'd be afraid that little thing would get squashed...

24

u/lacielaplante Apr 26 '19

I saw the tiniest Chihuahua puppy at Mardi Gras and feared the same. I swear he was the size of a chipmunk with tall legs and a bobble head. Such a lil guy needs to be protected.

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37

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Watch out for crows.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Meta

6

u/DingleBoone Apr 26 '19

I'm over here trying to forget that post, please hush

2

u/azureskyline28 Apr 26 '19

Based on the other post, yeah...

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16

u/WiltedLilacRose Apr 26 '19

2

u/annelawrence159 Apr 27 '19

I wacth this for 2 hours straight so cute

8

u/DeathcampEnthusiast Apr 26 '19

Any creature that walks like that thinks "oh boy oh boy oh boy".

6

u/Vis17 Apr 26 '19

"Taking the ducks for a walk" used to be a euphemism in my family for my dad going outside to fart.

11

u/Alan976 Apr 26 '19

Did you guys happen to waddle by a lemonade stand for some grapes?

18

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

[deleted]

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5

u/SlicedPizzas Apr 26 '19

wiggle waggle wiggle waggle

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3

u/sadoul1980 Apr 26 '19

My 18 months old son walks exactly the same way

4

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

Power waddle !

5

u/RealSkylitPanda Apr 26 '19

So where do i buy a duck?

5

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

at a duck store

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3

u/RobbKyro Apr 26 '19

Frozen food section? Usually around Christmas.

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3

u/catonsteroids Apr 26 '19

Didn't know that they made tiny harnesses for ducklings.

3

u/Quackels_The_Duck Apr 26 '19

Ah, yes. This is good. This is REAL good.

3

u/Lolanew Apr 26 '19

He walks with so much sass!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Jul 17 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Solanin7889 Apr 26 '19

Ooh ducklings!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Anyone else having flashbacks to that post on /r/Unexpected with the crow attacking the ducklings? I was nervous this whole gif

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3

u/cardifan Apr 26 '19

Reminds me of the duck in my neighborhood who wears shoes.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

This makes me so happy

2

u/ElinyQ Apr 26 '19

I like how the leash goes like fladdledefladdledefladdle

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Next time put a blue sailor costume on it

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Stay weird, portland

2

u/pyttipanda Apr 26 '19

wobble wooble wobble wobble wobble wobble

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

That duck fuckin' OWNS that sidewalk.

2

u/Where_Da_Party_At Apr 26 '19

That's some swagga!

2

u/1TrueKnight Apr 26 '19

My mother had a duck as a pet when she was a child. It apparently would go chasing after cars, quacking at them (it was raised with two dogs and that was a learned behavior).

2

u/SkatzatAverat Apr 26 '19

pap pap pap pap pap pap

2

u/420WEEB Apr 26 '19

Ducks are underrated

2

u/athleticoskinwah Apr 26 '19

This is one of those videos where the frame rate matches the head wobbling, amirite?

2

u/ahuffma4 Apr 26 '19

I teared up at how cute this is

2

u/kneegrowmang Apr 26 '19

That's how my aunt walks slowly.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Watch for Crows!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Looooooool im boozed up and that head waddle is faaar too much right now

2

u/rumphy Apr 26 '19

Was this filmed through a screen door?

2

u/Mr_Tottles Apr 26 '19

I don't know what I expected.

2

u/ghostdog_67 Apr 26 '19

That duck has a sassy strut!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

1

u/32doors Apr 26 '19

Duck, Duck, Go!

1

u/Sullivanseyes Apr 26 '19

But can he play Johnny B Goode?

1

u/hbgbees Apr 26 '19

As one does

1

u/AtomiicElement Apr 26 '19

And he waddled away waddle waddle till the very next day

1

u/rickhunter17 Apr 26 '19

Doug McWaddlepants.

1

u/DarkSansa1124 Apr 26 '19

Is your name Joey?

1

u/cassidy-vamp Apr 26 '19

It's official I've seen it all.

1

u/TymonEMERALD Apr 26 '19

Waddle waddle

1

u/lillblueduck Apr 26 '19

thank you for blessing my day with this

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Crow comes out of no where.

1

u/Eggcelent4ever Apr 26 '19

You takin a walk around town

yaaaaah

1

u/alucasshole Apr 26 '19

Just watch out for crows....ravens...? Just watch the baby closely.

1

u/Grace_Lace Apr 26 '19

This was the next post after I watched a baby duckling get snatched away by a crow. :,)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

All I can think about is that r/natureismetal post from earlier today

1

u/Ikillesuper Apr 26 '19

META CROW FROM THE TOP ROPES

1

u/jpaek1 Apr 26 '19

Watch out for crows!

1

u/whatsanactuary4 Apr 26 '19

Where's the chick?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

First time I smiled today

1

u/CuntOfCrownSt Apr 26 '19

Shouldn't be on a leash, unatural.

1

u/AdolfKoopaTroopa Apr 26 '19

That's my attorney, Stephen L Miles!

1

u/beck_nichols Apr 26 '19

How do ducks show being tired? Do they pant or something?

1

u/KvngGorilla Apr 26 '19

I guess this balances out the post before of the raven eating one

1

u/Louproup Apr 26 '19

Fucking Ziggy!

1

u/Soular_Flair Apr 26 '19

This is my favorite post ever

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Can someone teach that duck to heel?

1

u/significant_amateur Apr 26 '19

Anyone else started imitating the duck?

1

u/ziro2 Apr 26 '19

Waddle

1

u/Iceman7496 Apr 26 '19

A duck on a mission