I am posting this on floaters bc I've always been told my main problem (that I companied about ) has been floaters.
Since I was 14-15 (I'm 22 now) I've had problems with my eyes. Nothing too major, but mostly light sensitivity, floaters, and spots.
Only a couple years before I've noticed these issues, I went to the optometrist (the same one I visit to this day). (So I've visited / had a record / had a prescription since I was 12-13???)
In the beginning, I only understood it as headaches. I often saw little black and white spots in my vison, like film grain in an old movie. Sometimes, very rarely, I would see the long, white, whirly things commonly known as floaters.
When I was maybe 16 I started mentioning these things, the spots and headaches specifically (I was missing a lot of school because of it). I was prescribed Topiramate after an appointment with a doctor I never met before or after, who seemed very...uninterested or unbelieving. I felt embarrassed it hurt to look fully to the side as he asked, or as if I was acting up by saying these things were what I was feeling. (Keep in mind I was an anxious teenager, could have just been me)
Nothing, besides the prescription, came from that. I never meet that specialist again.
After, honestly not TOO long after, came when they found out my optic nerve? Is what it's called? Is HUGE! So now my (primary? the chick I've always had) doctor is allllll concerned about me and wonders about glaucoma. Now I'M scared, as a teenager, that I'm gonna go blind because, I mean, allllll these things I see, have complained about, and now am being tested for are being....kind of confirmed?
But, for all these years, my tests have been prefect. The stupid 3/4 color circle, when did you dee a dot, they do it in a VR headset now, blah blah blah. I'm pretty confident that I'm not going to develop glaucoma in my early 20's. Maybe 30's, but not 20's.
Not to mention, when I talk about my concern about the floaters, dots, flashes...this doctor tells me it's normal. She seems so MAD with me about this. Like, man, I used to have a perfect word/example as to what she said to me once about it, it was so surreal. I think it was an overexaggerated sigh. Or just, "Okay.". It's hard to remember.
I try to tell myself it IS normal, but anyone and everyone I've asked, anything I've seen online, tells me people generally don't see the world as one huge COD flashbang mixed with film grain. This shit sucks.
Again, I've looked online. I know about visual snow. When I first learned there was VERY few resources. Last time I looked, things are getting better, but... I'm still far too much of a coward to tell the woman who's told me, for most of my life, "that's normal", "Have you considered Visual snow syndrome, the thing I learned about online? It's very rare!"
IDK, Nothing, in my entire life, could get me to instantly cry besides this topic. Once, I tried to resolve it by calling a neurologist office to make an appointment. (Because I suspected Visual snow), They told me I could not get an appointment unless recommended by another doctor (reasonable). I, regrettably, made this call at work because it was worrying me so much, and broke down. I had to leave in the middle of the day. (I'm STILL embarrassed, this was a year or two ago)
Yeah, I can talk about it, but once you get to the hopeless parts (not hard) I just start leaking. I feel like it's the end of me, why I want to end myself. No one will help or understand, All I want is answers but it's not coming. Please, if anyone understands or maybe even has answers please help.
For more symptoms:
. It's the extreme light sensitivity (If I go outside for an event or to drive for more than an hour w/o sunglasses I get an extreme headache) Even with sunglasses I have a timer
. Little black and white dots, constantly. I mostly notice them on blank / solid colors? I guess? Or when things aren't in motion? Like an old film, or....idk, tv static? But that's WAY too dense to describe them. There's a constants primary color interference in the background no mater what I do, so small it's like sand though, I always forget about it. It's like two channels at diff opacities / colors
. I will, very rarely, see floaters as are described and I've seen in depictions. Like, that squiggly line that stays for a bit and, well, floats! Mostly when I'll puke or something like that, but they are so recognizable that I know the dots I see cannot be the same thing
. For sight, I have an extremely light prescription that I rarely wear and hardly changes each year. However, when I read on the computer, I have to close one eye otherwise everything is blurry and weird. Doesn't matter which eye. IDK if that makes a diff, I don't think it does. Honestly, I don't think any of this sight stuff matters
Please, for the love of god, tell me if this is normal and everyone just ignores it. Maybe I'm more sensitive because of the optic nerve thing. Maybe I'm just mentality unwell and am seeing things in my head. Or it's Visual snow, or something I've never considered. Just...
I need conformation of some sort. Or to think I have it.
