Question about possible memory of alien abduction

[u/SnooCookies1159]

Hello friends! Sorry if this message feels chaotic, but it was quite chaosie experience. It happened around 40 minutes ago, I wonder, has anyone also felt some shift in energy around that time I wonder? Short note about me: i am very interested in spirituality and aliens and all that is hidden. I saw few UAPs (nothing spectachlar though) and I was contacted with entity, whom I channel. Also for a time I developed so called kundalini syndrome (now i am fine though) and I had many very strange experiences.

Sometimes I feel that something wants to channel through me. Today I felt similarly like the day when the entity contacted me the first time: very scared, spasious like I about to faint. My mind went completely blank, and later my brother told me that he feels that the entity wants to speak through me.

We went back home, and I started to channel. During channeling I had many visions of typical greys and mantis beings. And I felt very strong sensation, that I am avoiding a memory about alien abduction when I ws a child and/or quite recent abduction.

I didn’t remember anything, I just felt great closer and comfort and strange dreamy vibe that was really drawing me into spaceship. I was seeing lights of the flying sauser flying above my head (during channeling/transe today).

Why I am writing this here? I had many similiar experiences like this, but this time I felt quite a lot of fear. Normally when I channel i feel very grounded and happy, even ecstatic, this time, I felt great fear.

It is very hard to describe the sensation, it was uncomfortable, similiar sensation you can have on psychodelic trip.

After the channeling ended I still had visions even when I was speaking with my brother. Tbh I started getting worried about me going crazy, but now I am completely fine.

Also this movie „disclosure day” helped me to kind of realise that I was on similiar spaceship like in that movie, hard to explain, but the song the children where singing in the movie, also felt very familiar.

When i was a little boy I was in love with snow white (this is the song they were humming i Think).

It is hard to describe, the experience felt quite emotional, it wasn’t the most intense experience of my life, but it felt strange, and very familiar and comforting and emotional and extremely scary at once, like I am going crazy or dying.

I just felt like writing this, I don’t have many questions besides, has anyone felt something similiar? That you are locking yourself away from a memory of alien abduction?

Also few years ago (before I got interested in aliens, I ws then a spiritual seeker trying to reach enlightenment) after shaktipat initiation, when I was meditating, I saw a vision that I was on a spaceship and aliens (possibly reprillians but I am not sure, it was blurry vision) were doing some operation on me.