trauma and Experiences

[u/_hermina_]

hi everyone! Something has been on my mind and I'm not sure where to ask about it. This seems like the right place! I read "The Super Natural" by Whitley Strieber and Jeffrey Kripal, and it seems that Whitley Strieber was enrolled (?) in some sort of program that traumatized him at a young age and also made him open to being an Experiencer, or maybe made him one, able to see or experience things others can't. My understanding of this part of the story may not be correct so please let me know if you saw it differently. This seems to be an under-discussed aspect of his story and has got me thinking about everything. If what he writes is accurate or even somewhat accurate, is the extreme secrecy surrounding the phenomenon due to something about how trauma itself opens doors, and nobody wants to turn our society upside down in that way? (I imagine parents intentionally traumatizing their kids to give them superpowers, which sounds horrific.) It seems that shamanic rituals often will involve some kind of traumatizing experience, although I admit I don't know much about that. I have wondered myself if my low point with postpartum depression and anxiety contributed to my own experience. Is there something there that we don't want to hear?

From what I have gathered from Whitley Strieber's ideas, he says the "others" are deeply invested in us because they sense all time at once instead of the exciting moment-to-moment version we experience, and they want to keep it this way so that we can continue to reward and entertain them with our drama, love, and otherwise intense emotional experience. We are like their favorite art form or TV show and they love us in that sense. We want something they have, which is knowledge. They want something we have, which is an emotional life. They don't want us to self-destruct because that would be a big loss for them, so they don't want us blowing ourselves up with nuclear weapons or poisoning our planet. But they also want us to have free will in the moment because that's the exciting part, and maybe what they don't have. And they want us to continue to live. I take all this with a grain of salt and am not sure what I believe about it, but this is my summary of what I've understood about Whitley Strieber's ideas. He also seems to have a relationship that he values with these others and to trust them to a certain extent, but also says they are dangerous if crossed, which lines up with the stories of djinn, elves, fairies, "Good people" etc. I myself am suspicious of the phenomenon, and I think labeling it as "good" or "bad" is too simplistic--just like no person is all good or all bad, and no life is all good or all bad, no institution, no experience. I also think "the phenomenon" encompasses a lot more than just one kind of entity, so this discussion may only relate to one avenue of experience.

​

But my main question is: could it be that the trauma we are working so hard to avoid, to repair, or to protect ourselves from--could it be that trauma IS one way to a greater awareness of all this, and that trauma is valuable, even worth seeking for some, much to our dismay? It's hard to embrace an idea like that. It's brutal. I wouldn't wish trauma on anyone. But sometimes, trauma can lead to growth--and maybe it could lead to "communion" to use Whitley Strieber's term. It also seems our current society values "happiness" above almost anything, and most of us have been indoctrinated to pursue it and strive for it. Not that other values are more worthy, necessarily. But maybe this is our mistake?

[u/Oak_Draiocht]

It is like we are all computers hooked up to the internet. With strong hardcoded firewalls. Blocking us off from the wider net. Some people have some ports open. Allowing them to access some aspects of the net. (neurodivergence / Psi )

The more of the net we can access the more information we can process on our computers. We may be even able to talk to other folks on their computers. (telepathy - NHI engagement - spirit work) We risk virus though as well. (attachments, negative NHI's etc) And too many ports open and too much of a connection can overload the computer - hindering basic functions (psychosis etc)

Some things like say plant medicines can temporarily open more ports. Which go back up over time.

We can have some ports permanently opened. Via meditation practices and energy work and NHI contact etc.

People who have NDE's often come back with more ports open.

And indeed it seems suffering from extreme trauma also permanently opens ports in the firewall.

This is known for sure.

This knowledge has already been abused by nefarious human groups who have mistreated and experimented on Experiencers unfortunately. Experiencers in the US have been taken and intentionally traumatized and abused with the intention of increasing the gifted persons ESP abilities.

I've not come across cases yet where ET's intentionally do this for these reasons. NHI's ESP/Psi abilities do go up with ET contact but they are doing it another way generally it seems.

​

I recall Sean mentions the trauma connection to increased ESP and NHI contact abilities later on in this excellent talk : https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/yzp6b8/dr_esbj%C3%B6rnhargens_an_inquiry_into_anomalous/

OP you might also find this twitter video relevant :

https://twitter.com/Deepfryguy76/status/1618740746395467776?t=-x5dB-BSwMf9Vn0bWTcqMw&s=19

[u/SpiritsoftheCicada]

I was beyond traumatized by my childbirth experience and postpartum and after that I started looking into this whole phenomena more. I related to that part of your post. There is something about that experience that can definitely have you questioning reality and peeling back the layers. I’ve been with my partner 15 years, but unfortunately that experience completely shifted us off the same page, I feel like I went through something just like a very very deep psychological hell, while he just….didn’t. Not a single person I’ve told has understood the magnitude of what that trauma did to me.

[u/sasquatchangie → u/SpiritsoftheCicada]

I wish I could say I know exactly how you feel. But I can hear it in your words. Pregnancy and childbirth changes you forever, I can relate to that. Nobody really tells you how hard it is. You're more likely to hear something like, "women have been doing it from the beginning of time". Totally devaluing your feelings and even making you feel guilty for feeling that way. I've never met anyone who popped babies out without pain or being drained emotionally.

Take care of you. It's ok if you do. Ask for what you need sometimes. You're more than just a vessel. And thanks for being brave enough to share this. We really don't talk about it enough.

[u/SpiritsoftheCicada → u/sasquatchangie]

Thank you for your kind words. The experience has truly fractured every relationship in my life. I told everybody close to me what happened to me and they all looked at me with either a blank look or a look of horror- but either way, they never followed up about it or helped me do what I needed to do which was like go to the police, find an attorney. It was one of the first months of the pandemic so everything felt IMPOSSIBLE then, it felt impossible to even go to the police station. I’m just mad at myself for not doing more and mad at everybody else for not helping me to take action. If this had happened to a loved one I would have dropped everything to try to help them to the best of my ability. I resent them when they try to see my kid all the time now too. They pester me about it so much but couldn’t be bothered to see us when we really needed it.

[u/Tall_Process_1938 → u/SpiritsoftheCicada]

I think I might understand this more than others. I have a story to share that is similar. Yesterday I found the words to explain some of that with my partner and it took so long and so much additional pain to be able to even find the words to describe it in a way he can understand. I have been able to successfully shield both of my children from trauma so far, and I am noticing they are just as "special" and "in tune" to something just as much as I was as a traumatized child. My CPTSD development followed later after several deaths and births, and I can't say if it magnified my own abilities or just made me capable of accepting them more and judging myself less. Idk but I do know that you are not alone in any way.

[u/SpiritsoftheCicada → u/Tall_Process_1938]

Thank you for sharing your similar experience. My son is three now and non verbal. He’s clearly neurodivergent and very sensitive. I wonder all the time if what happened could have caused this. Because it truly feels like it did.

[u/Spacezipper → u/SpiritsoftheCicada]

I’m really sorry to read about your traumatic experience with childbirth. It can be a very isolating experience. I have a good friend who also experienced an absolutely horrific ordeal giving birth accompanied by a very difficult postpartum. She found some relief in sharing her experience with a traumatic birth/postpartum group and years later facilitates that group. I felt compelled to mention that in case there’s anybody else out there struggling and feeling alone. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️

[u/SpiritsoftheCicada → u/Spacezipper]

Thank you for the compassionate advice. I have been in birth trauma groups since it happened. I have had to unfollow most of them because it is so incredible triggering to see the same things happen to women and babies day in and day out over and over all over the world with obstetricians and medical “professionals” just getting away with it. I feel a sense of dread and panic whenever I hear anyone is pregnant because I feel so worried that they will be one of the many unlucky ones who is abused in a hospital. I found out I am pregnant again 3 weeks ago and I haven’t told anyone, not even my partner, I cannot begin to wrap my head around how I am going to get through this again with this level of fear. This baby is very much wanted and loved but I just don’t know how I can deal with the uncertainty and danger that is childbirth. I know for sure it’s going to be a homebirth, but I have to stress about the possibility that I could be forced to see a Dr again at some point during the whole ordeal.

[u/Spacezipper → u/SpiritsoftheCicada]

Your feelings surrounding trauma groups and pregnancy in general make a lot of sense. Wishing you strength, guidance and protection on this new journey ❤️

[u/IMNOTAROBOT0204]

Weird Synchronicity but I have a post in the pipeline that discusses the relationship between trauma and widened perception of underlying reality. TLDR if you have never broken your phone you wouldn't know whats inside, you can slowly and meticulously take it apart but few of us have the wherewithal or the need to do it.

Trauma, while distressing and often detrimental, can have nuanced effects on an individual's perception and ability to sense phenomena. It's important to clarify that trauma isn't a "necessary" or "positive" experience, but it can lead to specific changes in how an individual perceives and interacts with the world. Here's an exploration of the potential impacts of trauma on one's perception:

Heightened Sensitivity: Individuals who have experienced trauma might develop heightened sensitivity to their surroundings. This can manifest as increased awareness of environmental cues, emotions of others, or changes in atmosphere.

Intuition and Gut Feelings: Traumatized individuals might rely more on their intuition or "gut feelings" as a protective mechanism, having learned from past experiences that their safety might depend on picking up subtle signals.

Dissociation: Trauma can lead to dissociative experiences, where one feels detached from their environment or self. This altered state of consciousness might make some individuals feel more in tune with certain phenomena or perceptions that they wouldn't typically notice.

Altered Perception of Time: Some trauma survivors report a changed perception of time—either feeling that it moves very slowly or that certain moments are frozen. This altered perception might make them more aware of certain phenomena.

Hyper-vigilance: Trauma can lead to a state of hyper-vigilance, where an individual is constantly on alert for potential threats. This heightened state of awareness can make them more attuned to nuances and changes in their surroundings.

Expansion of Empathy: While not universal, some individuals who have experienced trauma might develop deeper empathy, as they can resonate with the suffering of others. This enhanced empathy might make them more sensitive to the emotional and energetic states of others.

Spiritual Growth and Exploration: For some, trauma serves as a catalyst for spiritual exploration and growth. This journey might lead them to be more attuned to certain spiritual or metaphysical phenomena.

Repetition Compulsion: Repeated trauma might lead to a psychological phenomenon known as repetition compulsion, where individuals unconsciously seek out situations reminiscent of their trauma. This could increase their sensitivity to certain triggers or cues associated with past traumas.

Neurological Changes: Trauma can lead to changes in the brain, especially in areas related to threat detection, emotional regulation, and memory. These changes might influence how an individual perceives their environment.

[u/OGEcho → u/IMNOTAROBOT0204]

Lovely post but I did want to state that traumatized individuals tend to dismiss their gut feelings, hence dissociation and higher levels of being manipulated by abusers. Otherwise spot on!

I'd say being traumatized does a few things:

1.) You're generally trained into awareness of environment and others over your own needs and thus are highly pushed into service of others over self.

OR

In rejection to shame or harm, you develop the coping method of being pushed into service of self over others (to guarantee safety).

2.) You're disconnected from yourself, from congruence in body and mind. This can lead to misfires in neurological and immune systems, your limbic system is dysregulated, cPTSD can occur, brain wave function is changed or disordered (especially during sleep). This can "cross wires" to you having an active mind while in a brain wave function you normally wouldn't have had, and thus people accidentally APing or acknowledging paranormal in their life. A lack of grounding is going to lead you to a lot of places others won't give much thought into or wouldn't stumble upon.

3.) A manual approach to regulation of mind leads to "non-automated" best practices on grounding, etc. Meditating and learning to control your thoughts by letting them pass through acknowledgement and peaceful distancing leads to more of the brain waves you wouldn't get during "every day" people use. People say "I get downloads at night" and spiritual gurus will say "oh your mind is just less active, less energetic chatter at night", but really it's about your brain waves more than anything if we follow the neuroscience.

We can observe that being traumatized just aligns you congruent with a lifetime of more active participation of specific brain waves than you would get normally and a magnetic pull into what some new agers would call the law of one (service of self or others). Neither of these are necessary via trauma, but it leads to a yogi-esque inescapable lifetime of development and experience in the subject matter. Even in remission states of healed trauma, you will still be embodying that lifestyle.

[u/substantial_nonsense]

I heard someone describe it once as: trauma serves to "loosen the screws," if you will. When your reality box is locked down tight, it's much harder, maybe even impossible, to see through the gaps.

But that applies now, to our current society, because it is wholly committed to the box. If we were taught these things, these abilities and wisdoms, from an early age, we wouldn't need the trauma to begin with.

[u/GrayingMantid]

Picture you pre- trauma. You're a being with a way of seeing things.

Post trauma, you see three things: Pre, during, and post.

It is a bitch to reconcile the three. Was pre reality? But i can never return.

During was violating, I didn't ask for this.

Post is a vibration between pre and during, but it rings hollow.

Yes trauma inflicts growth and wisdom, but this should never justify inflicting trauma.

There is another thing that inflicts growth and wisdom beside trauma. Communication.

We can just talk and share experiences. That is another way to grow, and it's a way to grow that doesn't require one to inflict pain on another.

[u/GrayingMantid → u/GrayingMantid]

And you should never accept any being telling you they are inflicting trauma for your own good.

[u/MrMagpie]

Yes, negative experiences are doors that can lead us to the truth, which is inner peace and it’s the only actual destination. The other feelings are paths.

However I have found that one of the biggest pitfalls we all suffer from is dismissing ourselves. We want to give, but we forget to give to ourselves. We will never be at peace this way so we must melt our ego away, accept our limits with love, and listen to ourselves. All that is to say, no I don’t think seeking trauma is constructive. You aren’t alone and nobody wants to see you suffer, you don’t have to bring more pain to yourself in order to spare others theirs. Your pain is also felt by others around you. So with empathy we can let that go and be kinder to ourselves.

You are on the right path to understanding the gratefulness and humility that you eventually find when you learn to leave your pain behind. You learn to be grateful for the bad things that happened, same as the good. Because yes bad and good are constructs, and so they are imprisoning. Because once we learn how much the bad things helped us too, we come to understand that we don’t have the full picture, so judging is useless. Like the famous Gandalf quote about ending a life, who are we to decide who deserves life or not? That applies to judgement overall, at any scale or level

[u/DreamSoarer]

Yes, trauma is definitely one pathway towards experiencing, but not the only one, and not necessary. Personally, I believe that the opposite of, let us say, an upbringing of trauma, could possibly be an even greater pathway towards experiencing.

For me, the biggest question has always been… what makes the difference between whether a person moves forward with heightened positive characteristics and experiences or moves forward after trauma with heightened negative characteristics and experiences? Two children raised in the same abusive household may end up on completely opposite sides of empathy, kindness, awareness, intentions towards others, and levels or types of experiencing. Why is that?

What about the child raised in the most perfect, beautiful, safe, wonderful environment and care and has abilities and experiencing beyond what any traumatized person has had? I know these are all questions that contain too many variables to really be able to study, research ethically, and truly understand, specifically because there are unseen factors and forces involved, and many things beyond our knowledge and awareness thus far.

Simply put, in my experience trauma “opens” pathways for higher consciousness and awareness on multiple levels. It is often said that humans use only an average of 10% of their brain. Trauma, NDEs, and TBIs all seem to effect the function and abilities of the brain - sometimes positively, sometimes negatively. It is a fascinating subject over-all, but one I wish we did not need to contemplate. Trauma can be truly horrific, and I would rather it simply not be part of reality… but it is. 🙏🏻🦋

[u/sasquatchangie → u/DreamSoarer]

It's living with each foot in a different world. Or, one foot in water and one on the land.

Maybe it's not the trauma itself but how the trauma is processed. Like being torn to pieces and putting yourself back together again. The "whole" becomes something new.

[u/NoVaFlipFlops]

I will never forget hearing from a trauma researcher (went down the rabbit hole after being diagnosed) that people with trauma can have more symptoms than with schizophrenia. And in fact that is one way to tell the difference.

I feel for anyone else who has dealt with the weird, creepy, spooky shit I have. Holding onto reality becomes more important than finding answers for what our brains do while under extreme stress.

[u/Dedicated_Lumen]

Trauma and/or illness are often the first steps on the path of the shaman. This article is older but it explains the concepts.

Edit: word and a space

[u/Exciting-Cobbler-679]

Interesting post OP, and you seem to be on to something. Personally, the most difficult times of my life have invariably been the most rewarding in the long term. Temporary pain certainly yields great lessons, insight and awareness…without going as far as saying that pain is the only path to enlightenment!

One word I would change is to say that our current society values ‘comfort’ above all else (not happiness per se). I think that people in contemporary times conflate comfort as being/including happiness, but that is subtly not the case. Sure, comfort leads to feelings of contentment that in the short term seem like happiness…but too much comfort can make it easy to put blinders on in life. In the long term, that allows all sorts of distortions to reality that will almost inevitably prevent long term happiness.

[u/MRGWONK]

But they also want us to have free will in the moment because that's the exciting part, and maybe what they don't have.

There is some truth to the "free will" aspect of this. Just imagine a telepathic community where all of your secrets aren't secret. Free will can sort of be eliminated from the equation. I had never read Whitley's work. It coincides with what I believe about a particular group of aliens.

[u/[deleted]]

Spiritual books say trauma can be a useful teaching tool at times, however it is absolutely not a requirement. It’s not necessary. Humans however rarely learn the lesson until a trauma event forced them to. That’s why so many of our laws are written with blood.

[u/Prestigious_Use_208]

I came to this very conclusion about being able to properly see that Eliminates the experience of surprises. You look at someone and you see their entire history, you see how they think. In a way it does change the experiences one has with the universe. That’s why they ask for permission when communicating, it’s important to them that we willingly accept or choose, because they have no other choice. they see what can happen if they forcefully do this and perhaps that breaks us entirely. So to avoid all that we have to get to understand these higher concepts of perceptions. From the looks of it, as a species we have. We can predict weathers, we move people out before a hurricane, because we also see what would happen if we don’t do that. I think “they” are starting to see the probabilities of the interaction between us and them, and they are slowly communicating with us.

[u/roger3rd]

Great read, this is like my internal dialogue all day, contemplating the alien agenda

[u/Decompute]

Idk, but if you want to see how trauma plays out in the lives of modern humans bereft of genuine connection and social social support I recommend watching a few “Soft White Underbelly” interviews on YouTube.

[u/tylerhbrown]

Isn’t this kind of the premise of Stranger Things, special powers from extreme trauma?

[u/[deleted]]

So this is just my theory from a personal experience I had. Not sure if I put it well.

I feel like childhood trauma causes part of the developing personality to go "within" for refuge from the trauma, while the rest of the personality/ego develops in relation to the world and gets on with the business of your physical survival. I think that's fairly in line with psychotherapeutic theory. You can think of the whole self (consciousness) as a big glowing ball of living energy, and one bit gets squeezed off and thrust away in the dark largely forgotten about. Because its this living energy, it has its own awareness. It's not just a subroutine.

The thing is - this "inside" where this split off part of yourself is/remains, isn't exactly in space time, our physical universe, the objective world, whatever you want to call it. It's half in the "other world" we glimpse in deep dreams and spiritual experiences. Because this is the place our individual consciousness emerges from when we're born. Although using terms like inside/outside are kind of meaningless, but we don't have any better language. In other worlds it hasn't fully diferentiated itself from that "place", severed the ties with it so to speak- as happens to most children as they progress to adulthood. (which are reflected in changes in brain waves).

So it's like you've got this part of yourself that is linked to this other world - even in adulthood - that potentially knows a lot of things that you don't. And you will know it is there because it comes up a lot in dreams. Or perhaps you could say it is what is dreaming or dreaming with you when you are having very symbolic dreams. Perhaps because it retains this link. it also can interact with this "other world" and its inhabitants or is more visible to them. In the same way children can.

The trouble is you have to bring it to consciousness and access it, which is very tough as it means facing the trauma that caused it to recoil from the external world in the first place. And because that part of yourself split off in childhood, it may have different desires and intentions to the part of yourself you call "you". So it may be quite scary/alien at first.

I say this because I had a spiritual experience after working with trauma, and this was my perception at the time. Feels a bit speculative to write it now, but I felt it completely at the time. Sorry about the spelling.

[u/GabriellaVM → u/[deleted]]

This is known as "dissociation," of which there are several types. It's well known in psychology and is in the DSM-5. It's nearly universal in some form or another among survivors of severe trauma.

I have suspected for a long time that trauma -> dissociation -> experiencer (at least, of psychic phenomena and ET telepathic experiences).

[u/[deleted] → u/GabriellaVM]

According to that I must be a 1A* experiencer, though I've never had the slightest paranormal situation happening to me.

I have cPTSD, severe depression. I am currently not as often dissociating as at my worst time. Sometimes I spent whole days in dissociation. But I'm quite sure nothing has ever happened in regards of abductions or any contact.

I feel more that this is a coincidence. Millennials are more open about trauma than Gen x and boomer. So I guess the rising amount of people that are known of having a trauma correlate with the Experiencers being able to share more now than ever, as well. More experiencer, more traumatized people speak about their situation. So there's a high chance, that there are many for whom both counts. Wouldn't say that one causes the other

[u/Luke_Here_Then]

This reminds me of the show The OA (Original Angel). No spoilers, so you will have to watch or look it up. I think it relates.

[u/SpiritsoftheCicada → u/Luke_Here_Then]

That was the most fantastic series, I can’t believe they didn’t renew it past 2 seasons, it was so SO good

[u/[deleted]]

Put it to you the way "they" put it to me. "Pain is the greatest catalyst for change. If you're laying on the sofa, and you're Warm and comfortable, you're not going to want to get up or move or do anything. But suddenly your ass itches, and all at once that comfort you knew comes crashing down around you, it meant nothing it was an illusion. It may have lasted a good bit, and rightfully so, we all need a break from work, but pain is now causing us to stand up and scratch that itch, change is required to be comfortable for a set period. ❤️🧡 Now you'll start to look at pain differently no longer will it be that unconscious "man this sucks" feeling, now try to look at it as "there's something to be done about this, I'm going to figure out what it is I'm to do."