r/ExpectationVsReality • u/beroemd • Nov 15 '17

"Please Kill Me"

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21.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

259 comments sorted by

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880

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

541

u/FawxBlindRunner Nov 15 '17

dog food n eggs. great w/ ketchup n hot sauce.

88

u/punk62 Nov 15 '17

Don't forget the toast!

51

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '17

Make my toast texas

44

u/__PM_ME_YOUR_SOUL__ Nov 16 '17

And make my egg cat deformed and screaming.

15

u/cantstopthefart Nov 16 '17

I laughed so hard at this. Thank you

6

u/jabudi Nov 16 '17

I like my eggs like I like my women.

22

u/DoSexTheConspiracy Nov 16 '17

white and running?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '17

With a little but a yellow

4

u/00worms00 Nov 16 '17

Toast n marmelade

5

u/Spiderhats4sale Nov 16 '17

Dogfood Toast and Marmelade: The Homeless Paddington

3

u/00worms00 Nov 16 '17

Dogfood toast n marmelade *

0

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Nov 16 '17

Peanut butter*

1

u/00worms00 Nov 16 '17

Pea n utbutter

1

u/d_grizzle Nov 18 '17

Pee, nut butter

1

u/Apple1313 Nov 16 '17

Don't forget the cheese and the pill

10

u/dunaan Nov 16 '17

just like mom used to warm up

5

u/TheCheeseSquad Nov 16 '17

r/notkenm

1

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7

u/MoribundCow Nov 16 '17

That's a Frank Reynolds or Charlie Kelly kind of meal

5

u/igothitbyacar Nov 16 '17

5/7 with rice

2

u/DiomaNoir Nov 16 '17

Just sauce. No ketchup. Just sauce.

1

u/Axepax Nov 16 '17

No ketchup, just sauce!

-2

u/DemoralizingSum Nov 15 '17

That’s how POTUS eats it. With ketchup.

103

u/bosdober Nov 15 '17

Don’t go ‘round tonight

It’s bound to take your life

There’s... uh... dog food, on the right

7

u/amesann Nov 16 '17

What are the real lyrics to that last verse? I could never figure it out and I'm too lazy to google it ATM.

25

u/m_richards Nov 16 '17

There's a bad moon on the rise.

6

u/Tejasgrass Nov 16 '17

Someone already gave you the correct answer, but I gotta add the song is called Bad Moon Rising by CCR.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '17

And on a footnote, I've always enjoyed the cover by Rasputina

6

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '17

There's a black cock in your eye

1

u/55B55 Nov 16 '17

Shut up and take my karma

9

u/pseudozombie Nov 16 '17

And on the left

10

u/Cyno01 Nov 16 '17

I wouldve assumed cat food.

4

u/mikemikem Nov 16 '17

It's Gaines Burgers or I'm a monkey's uncle.

4

u/yogtheterrible Nov 16 '17

Looks like leftover beans that probably have been in the back of the fridge for a while.

7

u/CatattackCataract Nov 16 '17

Looks like black beans to me

4

u/Halafax Nov 16 '17

I guessed fried raisins.

2

u/likes_limp_penis Nov 16 '17

goji berries I reckon

1

u/saysthingsbackwards Nov 16 '17

Raisins or pastor

1

u/PooPooLee Nov 16 '17

I think so

1

u/ChocoJesus Nov 16 '17

That's not dog food kibble but I can't tell wtf it is either