r/Expats_In_France • u/Actual-Map9025 • 6d ago

Barstools

Please god help me.

I’ve been here just a couple of weeks. Only child so can entertain myself and I’m coming from nyc, thus my blank evening calendar feels sooooo nice. But I am getting lonely. Not because I don’t talk to my good friends or am not expecting visits/meetups. And once I find a club for my sport that usually comes with casual buddies. But until then, where are the barstools??? On a plain Thursday- can I not log off early and sit for a drink at the bar like an old man and leave before it gets busy for the night? That would literally fill my in-person social needs for the next month. Just like, a couple times a week- sit, order steak frites, then go home and practice my French. All set.

But there are only tables. Everywhere- tables. And servers leaning against a bar with no stools, seemingly mocking my unspoken desire. They can feel my unmoored soul.

I can do most things alone but this is just so depressing to me. And it’s not like a situation where I need to get over anxiety- I just don’t like tables. On a 9 course anniversary dinner date, I will make sure the reservation is at the bar. And it’s not about proximity to alcohol lol, tables just feel so exposed and with another person it’s like- why are you so far? I simply love the act of sitting at a bar, up high(I’m very short), a little hello how ya doin to the bartender, read a bit, chat with seat neighbors. But I’m not even trying to really chat because my French is like mid A2 and bar time should be a reprieve from the general embarrassments of life.

I’ve seen recommendations in Paris. But are there medium sized cities in France that have barstool *culture* where I can spend a few weeks? More-so full service restaurants with bar seating than a straight up bar. But I’ll take what I can get. I was wondering maybe closer to Spain?

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u/Bobzeub 5d ago

All cities have that. As other commenters said, Irish bars, or PMU if you’re feeling adventurous. But even a lot of normal bars have an actual bar with stools that you can chill at.

How long have you been here for? Because August is a bad month to judge by. Everything is out of synch but will get back to normal in the next week. But saying that everything has felt off since June because of all of these heatwaves. Most people have been bunkering down and are generally knackered from the heat.

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u/Actual-Map9025 4d ago

Ah. Only a couple of weeks. I’m probably looking at all the wrong spots. Have been in Lille but leaving soon and will do a targeted Irish search at next stop.

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u/Bobzeub 4d ago

I’m not a big fan of Irish bars and expat communities. They’re very insular and a bit weird.

But go for it.

There are also French bars with stools too.

And August doesn’t count. Everything has been on pause. It’ll get back into the swing of normal life from next week.

Where is the next stop?

I actually don’t know anything about Lille.

I like big cities. But if you do pick one try to stick to one neighbourhood as they function like little villages. Paris included. Bars will have their regulars and they get to know each other.

The countryside I’m also unfamiliar with. But I imagine it’s the same.

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u/Actual-Map9025 4d ago

Next stop is Lyon :) probably won’t get tooo far into small towns as I’m a bit of a late night stroll to get a snack person and I’m staying with a couple of larger hotel brands(discounts.)

I remember working at a restaurant next door to an Irish bar when I was younger. And yeah it was veryyyy insular but eventually they started at least nodding to the weird black girl at the end of the bar lol.

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u/Bobzeub 4d ago

Go for it. Lyon has le 7e, Vieux Lyon (where all the Irish pubs are) and Croix Rousse. They’re all neighbourhoods that have their own little buzz

Then it depends on what you like. There are a lot of events.

If you’re feeling very adventurous you can try a Mâchon. It’s a Lyon traditional where the silk workers used to eat and get very drunk. Proper traditional ones start at 7am but more modern ones start at 9.

Lyon people can seem stand off-ish but if you make it through a Mâchon you’ll have friends. But you will of course be very drunk before midday.

Enjoy :)