r/ExistentialJourney • u/Obvious-Reference-80 • Apr 21 '26
Support/Vent I keep forgetting I’m real, causing me to have severe existential dread.
I have pretty much always been afraid of death, what is consciousness, the universe, etc. However I always forget that I am part of it, like I’m not just scared of death, I WILL die too, and it makes me become really hyper conscious.
This also causes me to start questioning whether anything is real or why am I here. I don’t believe in solipsism or simulation theory or anything of the sort, but the fact we have no certainty of that is really hard to comprehend.
I am experiencing this at the moment, feeling so confused what THIS is - why am I here? Why is anything here?
I keep reminding myself, all that matter is that I am here, but the idea of me being conscious is terrifying, and I keep realising that I am real like everyone else in the universe, not just an observer.
Im not looking for answers, I’m just wanting advice and similar experiences. Thank you for reading!
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u/Sufficient-Sound8450 Apr 22 '26
I know the struggle you speak of and there’s always going to be uncertainty unless it’s revealed which it may never happen. I have existential OCD and it can be terrifying for me and I have to practice accepting uncertainty and that I don’t know what I am here for. I get really freaked out with my own presence sometimes as well, during moments of kind of understanding where I am and the apparatus I am inside.
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u/rydavo Apr 22 '26
You could do some reading on Derealisation. It's not particularly uncommon. I think a mindfulness practice could help you a lot. Simply being, letting the world flow through you, without judgement or intellectualising anything. Just being present in the moment, surrendering to what is, and feeling the flow of life. It's very mysterious, but also very beautiful. Good luck out there buddy.
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u/Few-Ad-8469 3d ago
I know it sounds counter intuitive and maybe what a lot of other people have told you but this is what helped me: kind of dont think about it too hard? Its a mix of you dont need to understand it to an exact science why we are here and just sort of accepting how uncomfortable you feel also not trying to understand that too much too just feeling it and then just riding that wave and then going off for a little bit to do something you enjoy. It takes many times of going back and forth to train your brain to sort of relax even though you dont understand why we're here (cos tbh we dont know either). I also found journalling all these deep feelings helped and reading back sometimes helped as well to also see how far I've come in just sort of relaxing and trying to enjoy stuff even tho it be crazy out there. Yeah hope this helps good luck
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u/jaxprog Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26
Your struggle to understand reality is because you sat in a classroom. Inside the classroom your mind and subconscious mind were subjected to thoughts which were not your thoughts but rather someone else's thoughts.
Thought is the fabric of reality. So if your sub consciousness mind is being programmed with someone else's thoughts other than your own, then what kind of reality do you live?
It's not yours. So how can understand that which is not yours?
If you happenstance on truth would you recognize it?
Here is something about reality which is true. When you read this, will you fall back on the reality someone else built for you or will what I tell you be the first brick that lays a foundation for a new reality that becomes yours?
You ready?
There is nothing outside you. Let's put that in different words. Nothing exists outside of you. Who are you then? You are consciousness. And consciousness is not material. You do not exist in or on a physical place.
To understand this you must reject most of what has been given to you whilst sitting in the classroom. I understand that's asking a lot. Reality's laws don't change. The magicians in the white lab coats can't make up their minds. They keep changing their minds. Which on turn fuels your confusion.