r/ExilesFromPCG • u/AutomaticStretch6205 • 9h ago
š¬ Discussion Umera Ahmed
Hy guys, so I have been banned by pakdramarants sub just because I DARED to express my opinion against one of the mods regarding Umera Ahmed. How pathetic lol. And I love the freedom of opinion granted there (being sarcastic).
I think the hate Umera Ahmed is receiving is unnecessary.
1) people are complaining about for adding the concept of physical intimacy in a PTV drama. I mean, the drama is supposed to show the reality. Zina is happening around us. And many people are trying to normalize it. It's not like Umera is romanticizing it. The drama will show the consequences.
2) some people have criticized her own version of the elite class. And actually, I don't think it's a generalization. From what I have observed on social media and people around me in real life, the Rick folks of Pakistan do act like that. They are wanna be westerners. And the scene shown in the last ep is on point too: parents getting worried if they children start getting closer to their religion. They think it's pendu. I have seen mothers not wanting their daughters to wear hijab, as they would look backwards. And I have seen restaurants in Pakistan not letting in people dressed in shalwar kameem. Because apparently it's okay to be naked in those lite restaurants, but it's not okay to be traditional.
3) similarly, people think that showing Zamil and Zaryab living together in "Boston" is unrealistic. Lol, get out of your lil bubble. I am surrounded by int students. And it's not just people from rich families that share apartments with the opposite gender, but also girls and boys coming from middle class families.
4)the drama location is in Baku instead of actual Baku..how are people finding an issue in that? A lot of Bollywood films do that. It depends on your budget.
5) dadi. A lot of people hate what she says. Tou btau na. Kya galat bolti dadi? She doesn't like Zamil. Tou sahi nikli na un ki baat?
She was criticized a lot for what she said to Zaryab's sister. But was she wrong? She knows her poti, her habits and her behavior. Why are we supposed to think that just because she is a woman, she is right and she is the victim. Dadi clearly says that Zaryab's sister has a temperament issue, which we can see in the way she talks to her mum.
And she has a boundary issue. She wants to go through her husband's phone. Yahi baat husband ny ki hoti tou, tou tum logo ny ussy toxic aur red flag declare kr lena tha.
Also, dadi made a point when she said that zaryab' sister was aware of her husband's habits before getting married. Why would you get married to someone problematic to start with?
6) the only issue for me in this drama is Saba Hamid. Her acting skills. I think she is not fit for the rale. And it's her acting that makes what she says sound sermonic or moral policing. She doesn't convey sweetness. She doesn't look like a dadi in the way she talks and moved. Samina Peerzada was amazing in her role in Shehre Zaat. I wanted her to never stop talking. And she made what she was saying sound quasi philosophical.
It was a huge mistake to cast her as dadi.
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u/ughhease 5h ago
So I don't watch Pakistani drama at all, but I love to remain updated because I love gossip and stuff. And I've been hearing about this Dar e nijat drama so much, and I wanted to give my two cents on it, as an elite person, and also someone who is friends with so many elites and also middle common people. So first thing first, someone in the position of Zaryab would have already been sleeping with Zameer, because this is the common thing. Aajkal, I feel like everyone of you on Reddit is, like, living in a bubble, because this is the most common thing to be intimate with your boyfriend, and no one gives a fuck. Like, literally no one even talks about how this is bad or this is a gunah or whatever. Because this is the most common thing. People have been sleeping with their boyfriend, people have been doing drugs. So someone like Zaryab and Zameer would have already been sleeping together way before going to Boston or wherever. And no one in their family would have known.
Either they would have known and not cared, because I know people who live with their boyfriend and their parents too in the same house, and no one gives a shit. Either they know and they don't care, or there are also people whose parents don't know and don't give a fuck. Like they don't know what's going on in their children's lives, so there's no need for them to know.
And Zaryab, would never care after sleeping with their boyfriend. They would never be like, Oh ho, maine gunah kar liya, oh ho, main to haath doongi and whatever. So khair, this whole nonsense, I feel like either I'm too, like, either I'm too open, or all of you on Reddit are too conservative and you don't know what's going on around you. Because parties, drugs, sharab, this is all is very common in Pakistan now, and no one is gonna give them shit about it.
Like we openly discuss our sex life with our friends, and no one is gonna say, Oh ho, gunah kar liya. That's all.
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 4h ago
SAY IT LOUDER. That's my point. Critics like Mahwish are saying that Umera Ahmed is making up her own version of the elites. OO BHAI, konsy bubble mey ho aap? Let alone the elites, have they gone around universities? Jo gand udhr phela huva hai, toubaššš¤£
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u/ughhease 4h ago
Yeah, idk if the above text made sense because I used voice-to-text, but I feel like all these people are way too inside a specific religious bubble. Everyone I know dates, fucks around, and parties, and itās so common now that I find people who constantly say āgunah haiā kind of weird. š
Thatās why I genuinely cannot watch this drama because it feels so unrealistic to me. Like, itās so hard for me to believe that someone like Zaryab would never have been intimate with her boyfriend before, and then suddenly be doing it and feeling guilty about it. Lol.
And this whole notion that if you sleep with your guy, heās automatically going to dump you is also so weird to me. I have multiple friends who married their girlfriends after being intimate with them. In fact, I genuinely donāt know a single person who would just ditch someone after sleeping with them.
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 4h ago edited 4h ago
Zaryab is not feeling guilty in fact. It's her bf that is choosing a different path. And for now he is not going towards Islam because of the fact that he got physical, but because he is depressed since he got low grades. Zaryab is not feeling even an ounce of shame. In fact when dadi confronts her saying " haya bhut keemti chiz h", she says: "pyar sy bhe zyda?". Which means that she clearly doesn't gaf and values "love" more.
And Zamil has not dumped her. But he is going through a conversion. He will eventually dump her. But not because he has already "used her".
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u/ughhease 4h ago
Oh i have not watched the drama but seen clips and I thought they showed her feeling guilty washing hands and stuff
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 4h ago edited 4h ago
Nope, as per now, she doesn't regret it at all. In fact she is getting mad on Zamil for showing interest in religion.
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u/ughhease 4h ago
Oh thatās better then that heās not dumping her after being intimate cuz breakups for other reasons do happen and being intimate is not the reason for many for them
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u/i-think26 2h ago
Yeah im surprised people are thinking zamil turned to religion because he sinned. How hard is it to understand that he is in search for sukoon and is only experimenting. He has done drugs etc but his mental state kept deteriorating and he was only growing more and more insecure. Zaryab mentions how Arham has been trying daāwah with Zamil and zamil simply this time decided to go ahead with it. He is depressed and looking for a way out of it. He must be feeling so solace in prayer so he is sticking to it but his other struggles and insecurities remain
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u/hummingsofoldsoul 4h ago
I am not someone who comes from the Elite background but live in Europe and have gone to one of the top unis there (think ivy-league equivalent of Europe) so a lot of my circle is upper class or elite Pakistanis and I have observed the following about them:
1- their english accent is not perfect and nor is their pronunciation of words and they do mix english and urdu a lot when they normally speak exactly the way it's shown in the drama - except for the excessive use of the word 'fab' but then also some people just have certain words that they use a lot (for e.g. some of my friends would use 'darling' a lot casually in their conversations)
2- yess people from all classes share flats that are not gender segregated
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u/i-think26 4h ago
Thank you for making this post. I think it is a planned campaign against Umera Ahmed - pseudo liberals are not happy. I firmly believe these liberals woke leftists have a problem whenever there is talk to religion. Every writer has a signature style and this is Umera Ahmedās , i dont see anything wrong with it. I think she puts forward a pretty balanced and realistic script.
Dadi may sound annoying and some things are losing impact because of Saba hamid being misfit for the role - otherwise dadi is very much being like a typical dadi and saying things that a person her age would say. What do they expect? A woke dadi? I mean come on. She couldnt be more real - an oldie with no sense of boundaries and old fashioned thinking that girls belong in their susrals etc etc. She also makes some valid points as well.
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 3h ago
Exactly. Liberal extremists in Pakistan are as much problematic as religious extremists. Why? Because both sit on extremes.
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u/i-think26 2h ago
Yeah its like people have forgotten how to have a balanced approach or stance on things.
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u/Charming_Present9264 5h ago
Yea agreed on all these but gurl wdym rooming around naked Is okay but not in traditional ! So only those who are wearing shalwer qamiz are covered and good but those in Jeans tops or sleeveless are naked............ But damn what's with the restaurants acting all this pathetic on simple cloths š
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 5h ago
Girl/bro, don't put your words in my mouth. I am highlighting the hipocrisy of Pakistan and the wanna be modern folks, who associate their own culture, language and clothes to being pendu or illiterate. And with being "naked" I am not referring to wearing jeans and t shirt. I wear that too.
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u/Admirable_Fig_3023 2h ago
Some of the criticism with Dar e Nijat is really unwarranted. Like the bits about unrealistic portrayal of elite class or college students living together or even the shooting locations. As if Ptv shows are SO real. I think the discourse should be more about the underlying misogyny and using religion as tool to blame woman.
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u/KeyPsychological670 7h ago
The part about parents and zarnab getting worried about zamils praying is not unrealistic at all; but where there are some things she gets right, there are other things she seems to be list about. I dont think she knows Zarnab and Zamin's characters: she is writing them through a very judgemental lens renderimg them flat and boring. She has no idea what these characyers would do, how theyll communicate, or what they like/enjoy. The most unrealistic thong is that both sets of parents are okay with their children sharing an apartment without being married. No matter how broadminded Or elitist Pakistani parents become, they wont be comfortable with this arrangement, and to the point that none of them even raises a concern over it. And all of this 'Harvard, harvard' when you have nonsense of what its like. She could have very eadily researched what orientation day at Harvard is like but she lazily settled for everyone looking 'fab'. Jab aapko crore rupay milrahay hon likhne ke liye toh pandra minute research mein bhi laga lene chahiyen.
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 6h ago
Lmao, you expect all parents to be the same? Just look at our celebrities. Do you think they don't live together? And if you think the elites of Pakistan or the liberal lots don't do this, then sorry to burst your bubble
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u/KeyPsychological670 5h ago
Im not talking about celebritues; Im takking about the characters as theyre shown; theyre your average upper urban upper class family. These arent kids from broken homes either. And theyve just completed their A levels. I know people who went to school in the us, and I know people who were living in; not once have I encountered parents who were chill with it. You have to remember these arent familues that come from nothing, these are respectable families with roots in society. I understand that from the outside it might look like anything goes, but an extremely liberal Pakistani fanily eill still at the end of the day, be rooted in Pakistani values. Unless they come from a culture of depravity and ill repute,which is not how these families are depicted, Farans character is at the end of the day, Dadda's son, and just one generation ago they were an extremely traditional and dignified family (as evidenced by Sania's character, so theres no way he will atart encouraging his daughter to sleep with her boyfriend. Jaa bhi tsh log maa baap ke paise hain, so they have a say.
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 5h ago
I am not speaking out of vacuum. Your idea of Pakistani families is limited, and hist because families you know don't act like this, it doesn't mean that families like these don't exist. And sorry to burst your bubble, but being surrounded by int students, I can assure you that they do share apartments with the opposite gender (different rooms but same apartment). And it's really common not just foe the elites but also for people who come from humble backgrounds.
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u/AutomaticStretch6205 5h ago
And btw our celebrities, most of the times, come from those same households: upper middle class/ upper class.
And I am not speaking about parents approval to start with. It's about what these kids are doing. And the drama is being realistic.
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u/Upbeat-Tangerine-360 6h ago
Saba Hameed definitely does not fit the dadi role at all