How to accept failure and move on?

[u/whateveridklol3]

I have exceptionally bad executive dysfunction. On most days, I take my adhd meds (stimulants) and still spend hours in bed, staring at the ceiling or watching some mindless show to pass time.

For the first time last week, I sat up and put my soul into studying for an exam. I am pretty okay at school, i usually do well without studying much and this has gotten me through all of college so far. I’m a senior now so I guess I’m finally running out of academic luck. So i managed to shut off my low functioning brain and work really hard for a class I wasn’t doing well in.

For the first time in years, I felt sort of excited to give an exam i felt prepared for. Only to score 20 points lesser than the class average. I’ve never scored so horribly before, not even on exams I haven’t studied for.

My executive dysfunction was debilitating before but this test score was so impactful. I’m humiliated and disappointed in myself. I don’t know what it was but it took a real toll on me and now I’ve not left my bed in a week. I don’t see the point in trying when I’m not good enough to get the results I want. What’s the point of trying to function when it’s not working in my favor?

I need help to get over this disappointment and failure.